Unlikely

Chapter 8

Waking up wasn’t a fun moment, because in that moment I remembered what a failure I turned out to be. I failed those kids and I failed my employer, but mostly I failed the agency I work for. This was their big chance to step into the international market and I ruined that for them. I’m sure Sebastian wouldn’t turn to them again, I was also their best nanny. I haven’t told them yet. I can’t get it over my heart. I’ll tell them later today. I want to email them so that I don’t have to hear the disappointment in their voices, but I can’t do that it won’t be right. I need to face them. I’ll do it later today, I first just need to get the courage to do it. So for today I will go out and look for a job. Something that isn’t contract based, since I will only be working there until I can find a nanny job that is looking for a live in, but it also needs to be a temporary job that pays enough so that I can afford to live in the bed and breakfast till I get a nanny job. Maybe one that pays daily. I should probably talk to the owner of the bed and breakfast and hear if I could pay her later, but I’ll give her all the money I have now so long. It’s just in case I don’t get paid daily or weekly. This is all so embarrassing. This is not how I imagined my life going after I moved here. I still have to tell Juan as well. It’s ridiculous. He’ll probably read all the letters at the same time it will go I moved to California, I got a great job, I lost my job and I’m initially jobless. It will be an emotional journey.

I got up not in the mood to do anything really. I wanted to lay in bed the whole day and sulk away. Sulking seems like the right thing to do at this moment. I’m not a quitter usually I would not let something like this bother me. I’m a hard worker with a great work ethic. I’ve just never been so humiliated. I took a quick shower and got dressed in an neat outfit, I’m going to look for a job so I need to be professional, but I still need to be comfortable. I can’t afford a cab, I’ll need to walk. It’s better to get something close by. I dried my hair and pinned it up the walking might get warm, I don’t need the hair in my neck when that happens. I went downstairs to breakfast. I saw the owner of the bed and breakfast so I walked over to her. I need to tell her what is happening.

“Could I talk to you for a minute?” I asked the lady she was busy putting the breakfast on the table. I wanted to apologize to her as well.

”First of I just want to apologize for coming in so late last night and waking you up. To be honest with you. I lost my job last night. One of the kids in my care had slipped away. He had hacked his fathers email, canceled his lesson and sneak away with his friends. I had a time limit to find him and I didn’t reach that time limit. He paid me for the time I was working there so I can pay you for a few days, I’ll be going out today to find a job. I wanted to hear if I could pay you for the rest of my days as soon as I get paid. I promise I won’t skip out on you. I’ll even be willing to give you my phone as collateral. The thing is I used all my savings to move here to California, my boyfriend is a Marine and he is based here so I packed up arranged for a job here and you know the rest.” I explained everything to her. I wanted her to know that I didn’t want charity, I was going to pay her. I just want leniency. 

“Don’t even worry about it sweetheart. You can keep your phone. Just give me your Identity document so that I can make a copy.” She was going to be lenient, but she wants my ID so that she can identify me to the cops if I do skip out in her. It was a fair trade so I quickly took out my ID and handed it to her. I then sat down at the table to eat my breakfast. It was delicious and by the time I finished she brought my ID back. I handed her the money I had and then I left to go and look for a job. It took me a while, but by the end of the day I had found a job. It wasn’t great and it paid peanuts versus what I usually got, but it was at least something. It was a very tiny bakery that is a couple of blocks away from the bed and breakfast. I wanted so badly to buy everything in there, because it smelled heavenly. I arranged to get paid daily. That way I don’t have to worry about the bed and breakfast. For every two days of work I’ll be able to stay one more day at the bed and breakfast and I’ll be able to buy myself some food at the end of the day. I’ll just have to fill up at breakfast, since I’ll be skipping lunch. As for today hopefully the breakfast will be enough until tomorrow, because I already gave the lady all my money.

It’s been a week and I’ve been enjoying my new job immensely. Mostly because my new boss wasn’t an ass like Sebastian. I also liked my co- worker. She was a hoot and a half. She talked my ear off. It seem like she had felt lonely before I arrived. Only eating twice a day has been hard especially with this place smelling so good. We have separate lunch hours. I’ve been giving mine to her. There is absolutely no point in me actually taking lunch since I don’t have lunch to eat. It’s better to work and not think about how hungry I am. The bakery has sandwiches so I just buy one each night. I’ve been wondering if I should ask the lady if I can pack my breakfast in then I can split it up for breakfast and lunch. I would still be eating the same amount, but at least I would be able to fool my body into thinking that I am eating more.

The owner of the bed and breakfast lend me a Tupperware and I started to pack in my lunch. I had a very negative thought, thinking how I had made it pass a couple of days with this job at least. I sat down in the back, in the tiny storage room where the owner of the bakery puts all her ingredients, I guess it’s more like a pantry. I started eating my lunch. This is the first day in a week that I’ve have lunch to eat. I was busy enjoying my cold scrambled eggs when I heard Mandy yell for me from the front. I sighed looking longingly at the eggs. I closed the lid and got up to go to the front. I froze when I saw Sebastian standing there.

“What do you want?” I asked him, folding my arms over my chest. I was in no mood to see him. I’ve said my say and I have been humiliated enough. 

”What is this!” He held out the envelope with the money that I returned to him. I’m glad that he had received it. I didn’t want anything to do with it.

”It’s your money.” I said blandly. I was in no mood to talk to him. He makes my blood boil. It bothered me that I still found him attractive even though I despise him, not to even mention Juan. I know it isn’t a crime that I find another man attractive, but it bothers me I’m only supposed to have eyes for Juan.

“I gave this money to you. It’s your money!” I rolled my eyes at him. He had taken a step closer to me waving the envelope around.

”No you threw that money at me like I was some sort of prostitute.” I saw him grinding down on his teeth.

”I didn’t do anything like that!” How is it that he is the one outraged. I took a step closer to him, staring him down.

”Are you really going to stand here and tell me that you didn’t through that money at me like I wasn’t even worth your time, because trust me such a humiliating act tends to leave a lasting memory.” I was now glaring up at him. How dare he pretend that his actions were anything but degrading and humiliating.

“I didn’t deny that I did it, I’m just denying that I treated you like dirt. You threw your words at me calling me a bad father and you don’t hear me complaining about that.” Like it’s even the same thing at all.

“I never said that you were a bad father I only said that you don’t pay attention to the needs of your kids, you are so obsessed with trying to make them perfect that you can’t see that their tiny imperfections are what makes them special. Perfection is overrated. Look I took the money you owed me and send the rest back. I don’t want your money.” He took another step closer to me and to me that was to close. I could smell his cologne, which only means he was really to close, because it was overtaking the smell of the bakery. He held out the envelope to me.

“Just take the money.” He was looking me in the eyes. Those dark eyes boring holes in mine.

”I don’t want your money.” I said pushing the outstretched hand with the envelope back towards him. As soon as our hands touch my eyes jumped from the envelope back to his eye. We stood there staring at each other, my hand still on his, or eyes locked on one another. I finally came to my senses and pulled away.

”I want you to take it.”

”And I won’t take it. If you give it to me I will only give it away to someone else. Just keep the money and leave.” I told him. I was over this conversation and I wanted to be out of this confusing conversation. He makes me feel things that I don’t want to feel. He just kept on staring at me. I stared back I won’t be backing down. He finally huffed and stormed out.

“Thank you, come again.” Mandy yelled after him. I just shook my head.

”Oh my gosh. He is so hot! It looked like the two of you were about to kiss! Is he your ex boyfriend or something?” We weren’t about to kiss that though never even crossed my mind, it was just an intense conversation that is all it was. I hated that that she thought that we were going to kiss, there is no way that we looked like we were involved, right?

“I would never kiss him. That is my old boss. He fired me after like three days. There is absolutely nothing between us.” I ensured her.

”Are you sure there is nothing between the two of you, because damn the atmosphere was way to hot.”

”No I have a boyfriend. I move to California for him…” And so I went into the whole situation of how I moved here, how I worked for Sebastian and lastly how I was living in a bed and breakfast now.

”This is all so sad! You can come and live with me. I have a apartment just upstairs. You can crash on my couch, at least them you can afford food. He might be hot, but I want to kick his ass! I can’t believe he did that to you.” I knew that I should have just rejected her offer, but I was desperate to get out of that bed and breakfast and have a resemblance of a normal life with food.

“Are you sure?” I asked really hoping she says that she is.

”Of course I am or I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t, honestly you deserve it. I was completely oblivious to the situations. I just thought that you didn’t like to eat a lot instead of you didn’t have money for food. I can’t believe he made you leave knowing that you didn’t have any place to go, I mean you told him in the interview. He sucks. I’ll go with you to the bed and breakfast. We can pack your things and then we can get you settled in at my place. I’ve always wanted a roommate so you are doing me a favor.” I don’t know what I have done to deserve her kindness, but I appreciate it.