Brian's Heart

Chapter 8

AMAYA

Should I care if he doesn't answer my calls?

I shouldn't after the stunt he pulled with Greg yet again.

Kissing him first was a mistake. I didn't mean to do it. He was just there, and I was in the heat of the moment.

Brian is my best friend. I can't feel that way about him.

How cliché was it for us to become more than friends.

Once upon a time, I wondered what could have been with me and Brian. It crossed my mind half of my thirteenth year, but he got older and dated more girls, girls who were nothing like me. He likes the preppy, silent, all-American beauty pageant kind.

Not someone like me, I accepted that years ago.

Those years of watching him chase after girls broke my heart, but when I noticed Greg, he intrigued me those years.

He changed my perspective on everything, he wasn’t afraid to be himself no matter what the setting was.

Being around him in general brings a smile to my face. I don’t have to be rude and grungy all the time, I can just simply exist. He doesn't get jealous or moody. He's awesome, kindhearted and smart. All the things I found myself liking so, why do I feel as if I lost the other half of me when Brian left? It irritates me how much he can consume my mind. All he's worried about is me being with a 'nerd’ but I like Greg. It was never a joke with him.

With him, I want to be better, but with Brian... he brings out the rebel in me. I refuse to be another one of his bimbos flocking to his every movement. I wasn’t that type of girl.

Where did I go wrong?

Brian

Message: Brian, look about last night....

Message: Brian, I'm sorry if that's what you want to hear, okay? Answer and we can....

Message: Brian, are you ignoring me? Seriously, we need to be young adults about this instead of acting as....

Message: You know what it's fine! I don't care about you sulking inside your bedroom. See if I care when you finally start to realize you're losing your best friend over bullshit!

The messages continued, and I read through them all thinking of what ifs, in the end, I knew I'd be hurt. She chose Greg and as much as I can't help that, I would never accept it.

It's better if our friendship broke apart now rather than later.

What did I do wrong?

I protected her. I made sure no one, and I mean no one bothered her. I made sure that my appearance was always to her liking. I allowed her to be herself around me.

I never judged anything she did, only praised how adorable she was, and it still wasn't enough!

I'm not enough for her to see the future with.

I want to be enough. The only thing that could fix my broken heart is Amaya.

It's hers, and it'll always remain that way whether I like it or not. She stole it when she sat on that swing and her black hair bounced while the smile on her face was the most beautiful I had ever seen.

My little heart couldn't take how much I felt for her at such a young age, but I managed to get her to at least talk to me then. Now it isn't the same. I'm not the same. I want her, but I'm afraid that I look like, a completely crazed person to her.

She did say I was a psycho and right now I’m feeling as if I have nothing else to lose.

Our friendship is already rocky. I might as well give it a try before it crashes for good.

*********

Instead of meeting her at school, I waited at her home.

A beat-up black SUV stopped at the curbside of her home and out she came. She looked flawless as always, swiftly throwing her black hair behind her shoulders and giving the driver a kiss goodbye.

Obviously, it was Greg.

It still bothered me seeing her with him, but I only made them closer by attacking him. I wasn’t going to harm the kid anymore. He didn’t fight back, which made him even more of a punk than he was already, but it tarnished my image. She waltzed up with her head held down to her phone, not even noticing someone on her doorstep awaiting her.

Without looking, she placed the key inside the door, pushing it open for her to enter inside. I couldn’t help but to worry, if I was a kidnapper she’d be gone already from her lack of attention. This is why she needed me, to protect her when she was so mindless and oblivious to the world around her.

I stayed put looking after her until she slowly descended from the house to see me sitting right next to her doorbell.

"What are you doing here?" She asked. I remained silent and took in her beauty.

Her jet-black hair was in a high pony as strands fell from the sides. Her white V-neck was a little too big, but she tied it to her side. Her black jeans hugged her just right as her sneakers remained all white as if she'd never taken them out of the box.

She's like that, always looks her best, never would you find a flaw in her appearance if you were outside looking in. I was and still am the only person that would know what goes through that head of hers.

"Earth to Brian! Instead of answering my messages you just-" I interrupted her mid-sentence. Scooping her body up as if she weighed nothing, walking her inside the house and shut the door behind us. She was gasping for words at the sudden intrusion, but she said nothing.

I wasn't done yet, although, if I was going to confess my feelings, then it would be the way I wanted. Her eyes were intense, she responded the way I imagined she would. I wanted her to want me, whether it was s****l or romantic. I could handle it as long as she wanted me.

"What are you doing?" she asked, her eyes still locked with mine, still she never moved or struggled out of my hold.

"You want me, Maya, just as much as I want you, so don’t fight it. You can refuse me. I’ll back down and never talk to you again or let me at least have you in a way no one ever has."

"Greg,"

"Is Greg here right now, Amaya? It's just me and you. He has nothing to do with the matter of us so give me your honest answer?"

Rather than waiting for her to ponder it over I kissed her. Passionate and slow, I wanted her to taste my desire for her. I have never kissed anyone like this.

I teased the skin shown on her back, earning entrance to the inside of her mouth. Greg couldn’t make her feel like I could. He wasn’t there for all the romance movies and the constant mentioning of how she wished someone would swipe her from her feet and handle her just like a movie scene. I took notes in that class, and now I’m graduating. I could turn her on more than anyone else, I studied how she moved and how she would react over the years to certain touches.

"Let me in baby," I motioned to her heart right above her breast. I wouldn’t touch those spots without consent from her. I knew how much it meant for her to have control of the situation.

"Brian, this is wrong" she cried; tears fell from her eyes as she tried her best to hide from me.

I wasn't going to give up on what we could be. I will never miss the chance to make her see that again.

"It's only wrong if we make it. I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend" yet.

"I want this to take our relationship to the next level," I watched her pretty brown eyes while her hand smoothed my face before smacking me.

I let her go and stumbled back. She came at me again and kicked my shin until I was on my knees in front of her.

"You will never have the upper hand on me, Brain, ever! What I say goes, and if I wanted to kiss you, then I would. If I wanted to f**k you senseless, I would."

Grabbing her head, I made sure she could see the fire in my eyes.

God, I LOVED the way she fought back. It's always a challenge for her and me. I kissed her again until she slapped my face once more and took over the kiss. We were both fighting over who would dominate the other, but in the end, it was a tie or until her mom came home.