A Secret Affair with the Billionaire

10

For many years, everything around me is perfect except for me. I have a perfectionist father who keeps pushing me to be someone I am not. I have a perfect brother who doesn’t look like he lacks something. I have a best friend who is perfect in her own choice of career. And I have a childhood friend who is basically perfect in everything he does.

In those years, I always thought that there was only one perfect man for me. I never laid my eyes on anyone no matter how good they look, how good their background was, how impressive their job was, and how caring they are. It is all because I only have my eyes set to one man, and that is Elijah.

Even if I know that he only sees me as a friend, there was never a day when I didn’t hope I could be something more in his eyes. Back in our university days, his care and kindness never failed to give me hope that I could really pass that friend zone. It kept going even after we graduated, but today, I met my end of the bargain.

Hearing him say that he loves someone genuinely after I just told him that I like him last night felt like I just wasted years of being into him. If I didn’t put my focus on him alone, I could have been happy with others now. In fact, this marriage probably wouldn’t happen anymore because I have someone whom my father could be impressed with. But… I wasted my years, and now… I have to deal with the pain of it.

“You know what? I have liked you since we were in high school.” I confessed to him, making him look at me in sorry. “I tried to stop it many times because I didn’t want you to think that I was taking advantage of the fact that we are friends. It is the same reason why I didn’t tell you about it when you first joked about me liking you. In fact, I could have just been honest with you at that time, but I chose not to… because I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

A bitter smile forms my lips. “So, I thought that maybe if I waited for the right time, my time would come when I could tell you about it and you would feel the same—maybe not right away, but slowly. That is why when I heard that we will be getting married, I was glad and I was scared at the same time.” I clear my throat to not let it c***k while I speak. “I was glad because I really thought it was fate coming on my side and whispering to me that it was my time already. I can tell you what I have been hiding for so long and you will slowly open up to me as well. But I was also scared because of what you will think once you find out.”

“Ciara,” He whispers but I cutted him off.

“But even with the arranged marriage, I am still too late. You already have someone while I…” I took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eye. “I am still stuck to the same man whom I only give my attention to because I thought we can be possible in the future too.”

“I am sorry, Ciara.” He can only say.

Hearing him apologize repeatedly really pisses me off. It keeps ringing in my ear as if liking him was so wrong of me to do. What pisses me more is that he doesn’t have anything to say anymore aside from that.

“Like I said, you don’t need to apologize. It wasn’t your fault that you can never see me as someone whom you can love. It also wasn’t your fault that I was too late to tell you about what I feel. I got too scared.” I gave him such a big assurance, but I also want something more. “But… Can you please do me this last favor?”

He nods his head right away. “Anything. Just tell me what it is, Ciara.”

I look him straight in the eye. “Let me have a chance with you, Elijah.” I said.

It might sound like I am too desperate now, but in my state, it is the last thing I can do. I don’t want to just simply give up in the fight when I didn’t even try fighting for it yet. Even when he already has someone in his heart, I still want to try. Even just for once, I want to follow what I truly want without having someone telling me what to do.

“But Ciara—”

“I know… that you have someone already. But let me have my chance to show you that I can also be that person. Even if I… didn’t really have any chance, just let me show you that I can also take care of you and love you the way she does.” I reached for his hand and took a deep breath before holding it gently. “I don’t care if you will still reject me at the end, but… just give me this chance.”

I will always remember that day. The day when I pleaded to him that I still want to give us a shot even if there is no way I can melt his heart anymore. Hailee might say that I am being stupid or I will look so desperate in Elijah’s eyes, it doesn't matter anymore. As long as I still did my best to have him, that is enough. As for the pain later on, that is already mine to deal with.

Even if that pain can tear me into pieces until there is nothing left anymore, I will still do it for him.

“You look so beautiful, Miss Ciara.”

The makeup artist exclaims as soon as the stylist finishes up helping me to put the dress on. As she does the final touches of the dress, I couldn’t help but stare at myself in the mirror. I wasn’t sure whether to admire myself or to feel bad that this day is happening already. After weeks of waiting, it is happening now.

It is already my wedding day.

As I ran my hand into the clean, white dress that I am wearing, I couldn’t help but think of how sensitive it is. I think even a little dirt can be seen in its satin style wedding dress with its top designed in lace. It looks so beautiful that whoever sees it will be left amused, but I wasn’t sure about myself at all.

My hair is tied in a low ponytail with a thin hairpiece. I have a light makeup on that is enough for my skin and a silver necklace that Mom made me wear for today. I watch as the stylist starts to fix the veil behind me while I can feel the fast beating of my heart.

In an hour, I will be officially married to the man that I have always adored. It should be the happiest day in my life because I got the man that I wanted. However, after everything that happened the past weeks, it doesn’t feel like a day and an event in my life where I should be having fun at all because in the next hours, I will be forcing the man I love to be stuck with me when he has someone he loves.

It’s hard to keep up with everything during the past few weeks. Everything was so fast-paced. The planning felt like it only took days then the implementation started. After just a few meetings, we started doing the rehearsals already and the next thing I knew, I was already preparing for my wedding as if it was a magical day in my life. It should be… but it also cannot be one.

“Are you ready now, Ciara?” Hailee questions after she hops off to enter the church. “I will be waiting for you inside, okay?”

I look at her nervously. “Do you think this is the best thing to do?” I asked her worriedly. “Once I walk into the altar, there is no going back anymore, Hailee. I will end up forcing him to be stuck with me even though he doesn’t want to.”

She lets out a deep sigh before reaching for my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Don’t worry too much, Ciara. I’m sure Elijah had it all planned already when he decided to follow his parents. Don’t just go, blaming yourself alone. This wasn’t your choice in the first place, remember?” I nodded my head slowly and took a deep breath. “You got this, okay? Once this is over, everything will be better.”

I gave her hand a gentle squeeze as I looked up to my beautiful maid of honor. “Thank you, Hailee. You don’t know how lucky and glad I truly am to have you here with me. You are the only one I trust now aside from my brother, and I wouldn’t know what to do if you weren't there.” I exclaimed, giving her a sincere smile.

She grins widely, shaking her head. “This is enough! I don’t wanna walk out there with tears in my eyes, okay? And you shouldn’t either!” She scolded, playfully, making me laugh softly. “I will see you there, Ciara. I will be there, okay?”

Those were the last words she said before leaving me there and entering the church with the other guests. I can only take deep breaths while waiting for my turn even when I already came out of the car to prepare myself to walk in there. Once I start walking on that red carpet, there will be no going back anymore.

I was the one who insisted on getting my chance even though it was already impossible because I didn’t want to give up that easily. So this wedding, it will start well and end well. Just for today, let me be the one who can make my father proud already.

I took one last breath as I opened my eyes, only to be greeted by an opened door with several guests waiting for me inside. As I slowly walked my way inside, my gaze fixed on Elijah. At first, I was nervous because he might look like he will be having a hard time today, but seeing the smile plastered on his lips is enough to make my way to him easier.

“Hello, Mom, Dad.” I greeted them when I reached halfway to the church where they were waiting.

Each of them gave me a short hug and a small peck on the cheek. I even let out a small chuckle when Mom ended up tearing up as if this whole wedding is held out of sincerity and not out of arrangement. She looks so happy that it scares me to ruin it. But the moment my father spoke, I wasn’t sure anymore what to feel.

“You make me feel so proud right now, Ciara. I was right when I said that you will be a good asset for me in the future.” He exclaims before helping me cling my hand into his arm as we walk together.

An asset. That must be the only way he looks at me since then but I should have expected it already. The only thing important for me now is the man waiting for me at the end of the altar.

Even if he doesn’t want this, I am already grateful that he came and will be marrying me still. All I have to do now is make him fall for me… no matter how impossible that is.