Mine, To Hold And Behold

Chapter 12

The food seemed the last thing on anyone's mnd right now. Everyone sat in silence on the dining table and played with thier food, not eating it. Mrs.Smith tried to feed everyone but no one ate. The tension was so thick that you could cut it with the butter knife. Pari stood up abruptly and everyone's eyes were trained on her. "I have to go and get some clothes from the dorm. I will be back in an hour" she said without meeting anyone's eyes.

"I will come" Mr. Sharma got up but Pari inturrepted him,

"Dad, it's fine. I can go by myself", she assured him

"Pari, its dark outside" My dad butted in, she smiled at him,

"It's fine Krish. You worry too much" She said and kissed his cheek. s**t! Only if he wasn't my father.... A throat cleared and bought me out of my train of thoughts. Anya gave me a warning look, not to glare at my father. I just rolled my eyes and shrugged. What? I am a man with high insecurity problems, who gets jealous very easily. I can't help it.

"Pari, Richard will take you to your dorm" Salim said signalling his bodygaurd,

"No, its okay. I don't need a bodygaurd. Its just a twenty minute walk", she said

"but its dark outside" Salim said in a concerned tone.

"I will be fine. I just need some fresh air", Salim sighed and let it go. Pari walked arund the table and towards the door. All eyes were on her as she took her coat and left.

"Are you seriously just gonna sit there and let her go alone?" my dad asked, with disbelief laced in his tone.

"Nope I am gonna follow her but also will give her the space she needs" I said as I got up from my chair.

******

Pari was walking some ten feet ahead of me. Her head hung low and hands tucked in her coat pockets. She was walking aimlessly in the almost deserted road. The trees on either side of the road made this evening so beautiful and serene. Ony if the situation was a little different, we both would have been enjoying the romantic weather. Only if.

I kept my eyes trained on her as a truck started approaching us, it was fifty feet away and its head lights were making its presence well known. It was impossible to miss it, even you were sleep walking. But Pari still walked unfazed. As if she was blind or she really didnt care whether the truck ran into her. The truck was approaching fast and panic began to race my heart. Pari was still unfazed. I started running towards her as the truck was a mere feet away from knocking her down, i caught her from her shoulders and pulled her aside, "Are you insane?" i yelled at her, to which she just looked at me blankly.

"I knew you were following" She said and turned away from me and continued walking, "If you are set on following me then why not give me company?" She said,

"You did that on purpose?" She nodded, "Just to bring me out of my hide?" I asked

"You werent hiding actually. It was pretty obvious that you were following me", she shrugged.

"How" I asked genuinely curious, She pointed to the ground and I looked down. Our shadows were projected, from the moon light, tall and extending to a few feet ahead of us. Oh! I smiled at her.

"You can walk with me, as long as you don't talk about whhat happened earlier" She said. I matched her steps, looking at our shadows on the ground.

"I don't like you calling my dad, 'Krish'" I said after a minute of walking

"Huh, why?" She asked,

"I don't know, it just feels odd. I mean, when we were back together, he clearly despised our relationship and he did nothing to hide his distaste. You were pretty uncomfortable with him back then. You barely spoke to each other and now, Boom! You both are behaving like best friends. Its weird" I said.

"He despised our relationship because he thought we weren't right for each other. He didnt hate us, he just hated the idea of us being together. I was uncomfortable because, I thought differently, I thought he didnt like me. But that isn't true. When we broke up, he was there, you know. My dad never spoke to me about it, he just couldn't have that kind of conversation with me, without giving me the 'told you so', vibe. So Krish came to me. He funded my education and took it as his responsibility to make me independent. He even finances the school where I work" she said,

"Oh so that's where the money is going every month" I muttered.

"Don't worry, its a noble thing he is doing" She patted my shoulder.

"hey! I never said anything. Don't get so defensive. I was just stating something that I learned from a source" I said

"I am not defending, I just don't want you both to fight. He is making an effort you see",

"So am I" I quickly said,

"I know, and that is why I don't want you two to have any misunderstanding anymore", she said. We stayed silent for a minute and I broke it,

"Are you mad at me?" I asked

"No, Why would I be?" She asked looking genuinely confused, May be she didnt know that I lied to Noel and caused her break up.

"I lied to Noel" I said and she looked at me confused, "About... I..I kind of implied that I slept with you. Not once but.. I told him that we did have a steamy affair" my voice didnt tremble and it was more than surprising because inside I was having a panic attack.

She sighed, "Look, Noel and I... Lets say, I met him when I was completely heartbroken, I had lost all hope on relationship and love, that's when I met him. He knew everything about us. Even if you lied to him, even if your lies were true, he shouldn't be effected by them, becuase he already knw how deep we both were into each other. He accepted me despite knowing the fact that I once loved you. So how can he be upset about something that was in my Past? I never lied to him, I was completely honest and faithful. I just wanted some respect in return and all I got was... suspicion, humiliation and heart ache" she said and shook her head.

We turned into the corner of a street and we were entering a building gate. It was a new building, because the paint looked fresh and recently done. We started ascending some steps, "Did you love him?" I asked, I need to know. This one answer that she would give me would either break me or make me. I didnt want to hear the answer which would break me. I was selfishly hoping she would say that she didnt give a flying f*ck about that guy and was marrying him only to spite me.

"Evening Pari" A woman in her middle thirties greeted her from behind the front desk,

"Evening Greta" Pari said while passing her. I silently followed her. A small part of me was a little dissapointed that Pari didnt introduce me to her friend. But a larger part reasoned that may be she is just an aquaintance and not a friend. And what would Pari introduce me as? A friend? Her boyfriend? What? I quickly pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind, "No Raghu, I was just marrying him for the sake of marrying" She said in a sarcastic tone, and stopped infront of a door. She took out a key and opened the door,

"No seriously, did you?" I asked, entering her room. I looked around, it was small, but not too small, a little cozy. There was a bed, a table on which a laptop was placed. A small closet was beside it. Another door was in the end, probably the bathroom.

"The question should be 'Do you love him?' A single fight cannot make love go away, Raghu. It takes more than that. And did I love him? I think, yeah! I did" She said and sat on her bed.

"Do you love me?" I asked and she looked away, "No because, you yourself admitted that a single fight cannot make the love go away. We broke up over a stupid fight" I sat down beside her.

"We didnt break up. You dumbed me" She said looking at her hands in her lap.

"I know" I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

"Raghu, I did love you. Even after our 'break-up' I did for a while. But then Noel came into my life. He taught me that life doesnt stop when your heart is broken. He gave me hope. He showed me that I can beloved again. I trusted him" she said the last part in a whisper,

"And he broke your trust" it wasnt a question. I knew he did. Questioning her virtue was a low blow on his part. In India pre marital s*x was taboo. Though a lot of people lost thier virginities in thier early teen years, still a lot of people cosidered it a sin, despite the growing modern ideologies, huge part of the country was still a lot conservative, when coming to such matters. Women were considered to have physical relationships with only one man in thier entire life

"He was an i***t" She said as she got up and walked to the closet. She was frustrated and that was the mood I loved the most on her. She would get all feisty when she gets frustrated and it was completely hot. "Can you wait outside, I need to change" she asked poking her head out.

"You can change, I wont look" I said lying down on the bed and turning towards the wall and giving her my back.

"No, seriously" she said placing a hand on her hip,

"Come on. We have done this before like a milion times. You know that I won't look. Go ahead" I said waving my hand. I heard her sigh and rummage through her clothes.

Though I was staring at the wall, I could hear her change. It was like a deza-vu, even though we have done this before, every time, its still the same. I could hear the sound of the zipper, the flick of her hair, clothes falling on the floor, all those little sounds were mesmerizing and arousing too. One day, she will be mine and so will be her body. Then I will not only look but also feast on it.

"Okay now. You can give your dirty imagination a break and turn around" her voice inturrepted. She changed her jeans to a track pant and her top with a turtle neck t shirt. Her sleeping attire was still the same as before.

"I wasn't imagining dirty" I said in a serious tone and got up rom the bed. "Really?" She crossed her arms and pointed to my jeans, I looked down and there was the huge bulge in the area of my manhood which was poking the zipper and making my erection obvious. I gave her a smug look. She shook her head,

"Do you need a cold shower?" she asked pointing to the bathroom,

"No, I am fine", she just snorted to that. She took out a backpack and shoved a few peies of clothing inside it, rather brutally and closed it.

"You are really not mad at me, for lying to Noel? I mean, I thought you would atleast be dissapointed" I said, as she got up and walked out of the room, I followed. She turned off the light on her way and locked the door.

"I am disaapointed with Noel. But you? No, I am not. I was expecting something like this from you. You would never keep your witty mouth shut where it concerns me. I didnt forget your cockiness yet" she said walking to the woman she greeted earlier. She conversed with her for a minute but I was too busy glaring at her back, to overhear.

"You know me too well don't you" I said, she replied with a 'Hmm'. As soon as we walked out of the building, I grabbed her upper arm and pulled her to me, "I don't know what bullsh*t that Noel fed you, but I would never, ever let you humiliate in front of everyone. Yes I am cocky and possesive when it comes to you. But I would never embarass you. Lying to Noel was just to spite him, I didnt have an inkling that he would be so immature and make it such a big issue. I considered him a little more mature than that, because, you liked him" I let her hand go, "I hurt you once and am still paying for it. I am not that stupid to repeat my mistakes" I added slowly,

" I didnt mean it like that" she said i a low voice. "I know you learnt your lesson, and I also know that you don't mean any harm to me. But Raghu.... You were wishing for it to happen, werent you? You didnt like the idea of me loving someone else and you acted on it. You made it clear that you didnt approve of him and you did make him jealous. Though none of your actions should have effected him, if he trusted me enough. But they did and you are not being held responsible for it. He was an i***t and he was not right for me.

But Raghu, You can't decide whom I should be with. You can love me. You can wish for me to love you. But you can't make it happen. These are feelings we are talking about. You can't manipulate my feelings for someone. Or someone's feelings for me" I inturrepted her speech,

"He was not the right one for you. What do you expect from me? Let you marry the wrong guy? He was in it for the money" I said, my temper rising with every passing second. She sighed

"Okay, he wasn't the right guy. What if there is a right guy out there, besides you. Who will love me and Whom I will love. Who is the perfect match for me in all possible ways. Will you let me be with him? Can I expect your blessings for us?" She asked and I stood in silence, staring into her eyes. " I can't, right? You will try to sabotage that relationship as well. You will try to win me, even then. Even when I am happy and that too with the right guy. You will still be trying to make me yours" She said. And damn! right she was. I will never give up on her.

"Raghu. You need to let me go. You need to stop fighting for me. What we had was beautiful and I know that you're regretting how everything changed between us. And I know that you would do anything, if you could change it. But you have to realize, you can't cange it. You left me and now I am gone. I am not yours anymore. I don't belong to you. You have to accept that. If you continue with this attitude, you can't find any happiness and nor can I. Noel was a bad guy, so its okay that my marriage broke off. But what if it was the good guy, the right guy, you would still scare him off and make it miserable for me. That is not right now, is it?" She placed a hand on my shoulder and stepped closer,

"I love you okay. That will never change. But I'm not in love with you anymore. That, is gone", she said. "That's it", my mind screamed. I reached my hand up to her neck and pulled her face towards me and planted my lips against hers. Her lips were soft against mine. The kiss was puishing, hungry and full of want and passion. She gasped and taking that opportunity I invaded her mouth with my tongue. She placed her right hand against my chest and tried to push me away. I grabbed her wrist with my free hand and bought it behind her and pulled her body flush against mine. Her moulded perfectly with mine. The kiss grew more hot and I bit her lower lip punishingly drawing some blood. She struggled in my arms, her other hand moved to my shoulders and grabbed my shirt in a tight fist. Her legs gave away and she was leaning on me, putting her entire weight on me. I pulled back and we both were breathless. She panted heavily and I was no different. I still had my arm around her waist, but I let go of her hand. She brought both her arms around my shoulders and held on to me. She was looking down and I had no intensions of letting her go.

"Look at me" I ordered, she slowly looked up from under her eye lashes, "You can save your counselling skills for your patients, girl. I don't need it. The only important thing I grasped from your rant, is that I have to make you fall in love with me again and that I have to make you mine again", She pushed me with all the force she could muster and took a couple of steps back, still panting heavily. "I have full intentions of acting on it. So brace yourselves babe. You are in for a romantic ride ahead" I said.

She narrowed her eyes at me and shooting daggers. I smirked at her which fueled her anger and she stormed off in the direction we came. I picked up the backpack which fell on the ground during our little moment, after dusting it, I threw it over my shoulder and followed her.

Her words not only hurt me but also angered me. I can't live wihout her, is that little statement so difficult to understand? How dare she go all 'counselor' on me. What does she think? I don't know already how complicated all this is and How difficult it is for her? I never justified my actions. I know, that despite my intentions, my ways are wrong. But I don't regret them. I will continue to drive every guy away, who even tries to glance at her. I don't care whther he is good or bad, whther his intentions are noble or not. No one deserves her, except me. She is mine and no one and I mean, no one can ever lay a claim on her except me. I didnt do any physical damage to that sh*thole Noel, is itself great. How can she expect me to be happy for her when she is with someone else and not beside me? I can't be happy without her. She is my source for happiness. She is my light, my life, my everything. I will never ever stop fighting for her. Never. How can she even expect that from me, that I will give up on her? Her over-mature attitude drives me insane sometimes.

That kiss was to declare that she still belongs to me. And to erase all of those fu*king ideas that she has in her brain to make me go away. That kiss is to punish her for asking me to let her go. That kiss is to make it clear for her, that I will never, ever let her get away from me.

She was mine, she still is and always will be.

SO ANOTHER UPDATE.

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ALL THE BEST TO ALL THOSE WHO ARE HAVING EXAMS GOING ON. DO WELL.

GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE. SWEET DREAMS.