Mine, To Hold And Behold

Chapter 11

The car ride to the hospital was uncomfortably silent. Apparently, I don't know why but everyone seems to care about me a lot. And trust me, this is a new level of 'a lot'.

"Seriously, do you all have to come to the hospital with me?" I groaned in frustration.

"Well I have to be there because, I made the appointment" Pari reasoned.

"Yeah right. Wouldnt hurt you to say that you actually care about me", I snapped. Dont blame me this whole situation is getting on my nerves.

A throat cleared, "I just want to accompany Pari. That's it." Noel shrugged,

"Yeah right" Salim muttered from the seat behind me.

"And why the hell are you coming?" I yelled at him,'

"Excuse me if I actually care about you", he huffed.

"Please dude. Please, I am begging you. Dont act like you are my girlfriend" I sighed in annoyance.

"Rags", Anya called. She actually turned out to be a real sweetheart. She made my favorite cold chocolate shake and despite Pari's strict warnings, she managed to sneak in some ice cubes into it. I grinned like a baby at the sight and we instantly bonded, over our chocolate shakes. We had a lot in common and it was like having a twin sister. When she offered to tag along with me to the hospital, I instantly agreed.

"Have some water" she handed me the bottle.

"Thanks Bubkins" I muttered taking the bottle from her, gulping down the water.

"Bubkins?" few voices muttered simultaneously,

"Yeah.. I have decided on calling her Bubkins from now on" I shrugged, Anya smiled at me which I returned. As I turned my head and my eyes met with Salim's he was frowning and scowling at the same time at me. I shrugged and turned to the front.

Currently, we were all in the limo, going to the hospital. We might be the only crazy people to go to a hospital in a limo. Just imagine eight people getting down from a Limo and entering a hospital. Ugh!!!! I groaned.

Soon we pulled in front of the hospital. The receptionist was a middle aged woman, wearing dull blue colored nurse uniform, which was completely modest, unlike those you expect usually.

"Good morning. How can I help you?" she asked

"We have an appointment with Dr.Jacobs at 12" Pari replied,

"Okay", she scanned in the monitor in front of her, "Ah yes, an appointment for Mr.Chary, (Shau-aurey)!", I rolled my eyes at her mis-spell off my name, "You need to get some tests, Dr.Jacobs will shortly be with you, once you are done" , she smiled and nodded, "Well who is the patient?" she asked,

I raised my hand up, like a kid in kindergarden, "That'd be me",

"Oh: she smiled, "And the rest?" she asked, a frown etching on her forehead,

"Oh just some friends and family," I replied, she looked at each and everyone, sizing them up.

"Well, only one person is allowed along with the patient. The rest of you can wait in the lounge", she said pointing to the chairs at the end of the corridor, which is probably the waiting area.

"Okay thanks" Pari replied and turned towards the rest, "So, we both will be back soon, then", we were about to walk away when Noel cut in,

"Where are you going? I think Mr. Krish should go in with him"

"No, I am the one who made the appointment, I should go" she shook her head,

"Yeah, I can go with him, " My dad piqued in,

"Since Raghu trusts me the most, I think I should go" Salim butted in,

"I hate hospitals, so count me out. I'm just gonna sit here and watch the news. All the best son" Mr. Sharma sat on one of the couched and turned the t.v on and started flicking through the channels.

"I am going with him" Pari replied stubbornly,

"If someone has to go so desperately, then I don't mind going either. But Pari.You.Are.Not.Going.with.Him" Noel hissed out each word,

"What's wrong with you" Pari cried,

"What's wrong with me? Why don't you tell me, what is your deal? Why do you so badly want to go in with him, while so many are there to do it, instead?"

"What's so wrong if I accompany him, huh?", she asked, her cheeks were turning red in anger, "Don't you trust me?"

"Where did that come from?" Noel groaned in frustration.

"You've been like this.... this... its so unlike you. What's gotten into you?" Pari scrunched up her eyebrows.

"Are you serious right now? What do you expect-" Noel fumed, his face was literally reddening,

"Oh cut it, alright. Dont expect me to take your sh*t. I wont let you-" Pari pointed her manicured finger at Noel and spoke with such rage, I couldn't recognize her anymore.

"I think we all need to-" my dad tried to calm them,

"Hey, they don't have beer in here" Salim yelled frowning at the vending machine.

"Well, its a hospital" Anya said in a duh tone.

"So?" Salim asked, "The Patients cant drink but their friends and family can right?"

"-Pari, I wont take this anymore. You want me to be honest, then fine!" Noel yelled, "I don't want you near HIM anymore-"

"You don't get to decide who I-"

"I am your fiancé, have you no respect for me-"

"Oh please, don't talk about respect, you know nothing about it", Pari huffed,

"SHUT UP" I yelled, everyone fell silent. I had enough. A week ago, if someone told me that, there would be a herd f people fighting over me, I would have laughed at thier faces. But damn! It isnt funny, It isn't even tolerable anymore. They are seriously getting on my nerves, right now.

"I will decide who I want with me in their. Not you" I pointed my finger at Pari, "Not you", then at Noel, "Not you and definitely not you" my dad and then at Salim.

"I seriously feel, hospitals should have beers in their vending machine" he said in a completely serious tone. Before I could reply, Anya smacked his head with the magazine lying on the side table, which made him shut up, instantly.

"I know who to take in with me"

*******

After getting my entire body scanned thoroughly, I was half-lying on the ward bed, which was alloted to me. It was a small room, with an extra couch and a chair beside the bed. There was a window but another building's wall was blocking the view. The same significant white curtains and white bed covers were actually giving me a migraine. White was never my favorite color.

I was sipping this blue colored liquid that was given to me. It was neutral in taste. I don't know what it was but it tasted.... blank. You can say, 'no-taste' drink.

"So... How are you feeling now?" Anya asked

"Well... I am bored" I said, "How long?" I asked,

"They said, it will take another half hour for the reports to come, and then the doctor has to go through them.. and...." she said,

"Ugh" I groaned.

"Tell me your story" She said.

"What?" I asked dumbly.

"Your story, you know, you and Pari..." she said with a suggestive look.

"Well, didn't Salim tell you?" she shook her head. "What about Pari? You both shared the room last night, and I've heard girls tell each other everything" I asked.

"Yeah, that's right. But we talked mostly about other things, she completely avoided about you. So, I'm curious"

"Hm.. Ever heard the phrase, 'Curiosity killed the cat?'", I smirked.

"Tell Na" she asked like a kid asking for a bedtime story.

"Okay well..."

"Uh... I hate flashbacks. So just tell me a story. No... Flashbacks" she moved her hands trying make it sensible.

"I know what you mean bubkins, Don't worry, I will keep you entertained", I said. She leaned forward and placed her elbows on my bed and her head in her palm, and got ready like the little girl.

"So... we both grew up together. I don't even remember my mom, I lost her when I was too young, and my dad took it hard. He tried to get over it by busying himself in work and I was sort of left alone. Pari took me in" I chuckled at the memory. The memory of a three year old girl, pulling my shirt to get my attention, when I looked down at her, she lifted her hand up to wipe the tears which I didnt even know were flowing till then. I smiled at the memory,

"She took you in?" Anya asked.

"Yep. She did. She was three and I was five" I took a deep breathe, "Since then we were inseparable. You know she started school so early compared to many other kids of her age. I had to attend school and she didn't want to stay away from me, so she got admitted too. We did everything together...." I sighed. "And when her mother passed away, I became her rock, like she was mine. And we made a promise of staying together forever, and sorts. Our fathers didn't like that. Imagine two kids talking about life-long relationships. They freaked out and they decided to send Pari to her grandmother's house"

"Then?" Anya piqued in,

"Then nothing. I took it hard. I was alone again. My dad didn't have time for me. Mr. Sharma who was a teacher and guardian for me, was busy too. He was busy helping out my dad and his business. I didn't have anyone solid to rely on, since she left, so.."

"So.. you became rebellious" she filled

"Yeah! Pari always used to tease me, calling me a 'bad boy', whenever I behaved like a good boy. You know... she bought out the good in me, even at that small age. And when she left, I hated her"

"Hated her?" Anya asked,

"No.. Not her in particular. I just hated everyone and everything. I promised her to be thier for her and I couldn't live up to my word, I felt weak and disappointed"

"You were hardly nine, of course you couldn't have done anything, back then" Anya reasoned

"Yeah. True. But still, The hatred was their and I turned rebel. Bad company was easy to adapt I guess"

"When did she return into your life?"

"I was 21, completed my graduation. She came all of a sudden and honestly, I didn't recognize her at all"

"You didn't?"

"Nope, not a bit. She changed completely. From a cute kid to a young lady."

"No" she shook her head, "I mean, if she meant so much to you, how can you forget about her?"

"Forgetting her was the whole point behind me turning rebel" I said, "She bought the good in me. Se was my strength, but she was also my weakness. I loved her. Believe it or not, I loved her since when I was five. She was mine since then. My strength, my weakness, my life and my everything. When she left, that everything was gone with her. I didn't want to be good anymore. I wanted to become the bad boy she used to tease me about. The bad company, my rebellious life style, they did it. I became bad and I forgot about her. I became Strong"

"what changed" she asked

"She came back into my life at the most unexpected time and turned my life upside down" I sighed. "When I didn't recognize her, and she reminded me of who she was, I saw the hurt in her eyes, the same hurt I saw back then when she left. That look will haunt me forever. She was disappointed with me and... like I said, she was my weakness. I wanted to get her back, get that spark back, into her eyes. So I went all the way to make her mine again"

"And.... that didn't work?" She butted in.

"It did. I forgot her. But she didn't. She held onto the hope of coming back to me, one day and she held onto all those memories which I remember vaguely. She loved me all along. I was scared actually, very scared"

"Of what?" Anya asked,

"Of her rejection. I thought, maybe because of the lifestyle I chose, or the past I had, she might reject me. I was scared of not having her in my life. When I didn't even know about her, I mean, when I forgot her, I was fine, I was existing. But when she came back into my life,.. ignoring her, ignoring her existence was impossible. Like I said, she was my life, and I had to have my life back. I was tired of just existing, and I wanted to live. I had to taste 'the life'. And I was scared of not getting the chance to have her. She was still that angel and I turned into that demon, I don't know, I felt like I didn't deserve her"

"But still she came back to you" She said with a smile.

"I was the luckiest guy ever. She said it first you know. 'I love you', she said it first, I was dreading to get those three words out of my mouth, in fear of her rejection and she said it. Just like that", I clicked my fingers, with a smile etched on my face which was on Anya's face as well.

"Guess, she wasn't as scared as you were" she sain in a sing-song voice. I know she was trying to make light of the situation.

"No she wasn't. She was sure about us. She was confident in our relationship. She never cared about what should be, all she ever cared about was, what we want. And she was the one who was actually strong, not me. I was the weaker one.

I let others get to me. And eventually.... we separated. I disappointed her again"

"Come on Rags, Its okay" she said placing a hand on mine, "You made a few mistakes, she dumbed you, happened what happened. Why regret the past?" she said, I looked away from her

"It wasn't what happened" I muttered

"What do you mean?" she asked, I looked into her eyes and shook my head. Her eyes enlarged n realization,

"No you didn't" She said, I sighed and she closed her mouth with both her hands, dramatically, "She didn't dumb you. You dumbed her" She said. I nodded my head.

"Why did you? I mean how could you? Why on earth.." she trailed of,

"I was stupid" I groaned. pulling my hair, "When I said, I was in a bad company, I meant 'Stupid' company. The people I called 'friends', were not actually my friends, they are more like my followers, my 'gang'. Yeah! that is what I called them. My gang. I was kind of their alpha and I had a reputation. A bad reputation for which I was treated like royalty. I needed to live it up. But Since Pari came into my life, I changed. I stopped going to the street fights, I stopped getting involved in the gang meetings and other affairs which I used to be present for, earlier. And it brought down my image. The gang which were scared of me, which respected me so much, started to make fun of me. I became weak and powerless in front of them. Pari was my weakness and I showed.

I didn't want to be a fun stock. I hated being the joke. I tried going back to normal, acting normal, but Pari..... she always bought out the good in me. I started becoming Good. So, yeah! I dumped her. I dumped her to keep up my reputation." I sighed,

"Actually, it isn't that simple actually" I added after a minute,

"Then?"

"I dumped her because she refused to sleep with me" I muttered, completely ashamed. I heard a gasp.

"What?"Anya muttered. I slumped my shoulders.

"I made mistakes okay. I met other girls behind her back. Not many, a couple or more, I don't remember. Just to keep up my reputation in front of my gang. I didn't plan on cheating upon her. I never wanted to cheat on her and I never did. She was the one and only for me. And when she caught me and confronted me, I apologized but I didn't tell her the real reason behind my behavior or anything about my insecurities. I was scared that she might think that I am ashamed of her or I am not happy with her or something. Which isn't true at all. I loved her completely and truly. So I lied that it was nothing going on and she was over reacting. Her being her, she believed me. But I was scared, that she might figure it out and might wanna leave me after. I didn't want that. I couldn't take another separation from her. I wanted her to be mine. And to make her mine, I could come up with only one way, and that was s*x" I shrugged, "I mean, once I take her virtue, obviously she will be obliged to be mine. She wouldn't think of leaving me, because she was that conservative and all. So..."

'You tried to rape her?" Anya shrieked,

"What?" I yelled, where did that come from? "No, why would you think that. I would never force her. I asked her"

"You asked her to sleep with you, because you were insecure?" she asked with utter shock,

"Yeah" I shrugged, "And she denied"

"Of course she denied. I would have slapped you if it was me" Anya's face turned red in anger, "How dare you ask her such a thing?"

"What was I supposed to do? Seduce her? That would be immoral, wouldn't it? And forcing myself upon her was out of question. So I asked her"

"Couldn't you come up with something else?" She asked rubbing her temples,

"I was dumb and I was an i***t, I accept it. My dumb brain couldn't come up with anything better, what to do?" I shrugged.

She sighed loudly, "Why did you dumb her?"

"Well, when we were having that discussion, it turned into a heated argument. She was pretty upset actually that I would ask her something like that, I couldn't take it anymore. I was frustrated, scared, furious and confused and what not,.... "

"And you released your frustration on her" se completed for me. I sighed,

"Something like that" I said. "I dumbed her out of annoyance. I regretted it. I didn't even mean what I said. But it was too late. Later when I went to apologize, She left already. "

"You didn't try to contact her or something?"

"I couldn't, actually. My dad and Mr. Sharma were furious when they came to know about what happened"

"Wait, they know why you broke up with her?"

"Yeah, they do. That's the reason, they resented me so much"

"I bet" she muttered.

"More than two years passed and I was stuck. I wasn't moving forward nor backward, I was stuck. Like a part of me died or something. I was destroyed. Alcohol, fights, girls, nothing could fill the void. I became like a zombie. My gang, the ones who made fun of me, the ones who were the core reason for our break up, they figured it out too. And they were sorry. They even suggested to help, to get her back, but I declined the offer. Because if I couldn't trace her out, then they couldn't either. So I just continued with my life and BAM! I found her"

"Hmm...." She didn't say anything after that. She stared at the ground for a while and looked up at me. She stared at me with a blank expression,

"What? say something, bubkins" I whined like a kid, waiting for an appreciation or something.

"Well, after my analysis, I think you are the most stupidest person on the face of the earth" She said i a professional tone, I huffed, "And also, the most vulnerable person, I have ever met in my life" she added in a softer tone. She placed a hand on mine and gave me a reassuring smile. "You need her. Not want, its your need to have her with you. I am not sorry that you both got separated. Because you both really needed that space back then. Because as much as I figured, you both were pathetic, excuse me, but yes, you were pathetic together and also without each other. In a relationship, both should be able to be the rock or the other, and clearly, you both were each others weakness. But Now, look at you both. Pari isn't that stupid love sick puppy kind of girl anymore. She is independent. Even you have turned out to be stronger. You both got separated because you weren't ready. Now you are, so now is the right time to get her back" she said.

Anya is right. I was weaker, scared, influenced by others. Not anymore

Pari was stupid and aimless but now she turned into this confident, ambitious, and strong woman. I am proud of her.

Now we are ready. I am ready and all I have to do is make her realize that she is too.

"Tell me something" Anya's voice broke into my 'self-pep talk' I was having mentally, "Why did you ask me to accompany you when you could have asked Pari. You could have spent some quality time with her, which you are desperately in need of" she said emphasizing on 'desperate'. I rolled my eyes.

"I am not desperate, okay" I said, she raised her eyebrows, "Fine, may be I am. But,.. I just didn't want to get her in more trouble with Noel. They are having a tough time in their relationship and all,so..." I trailed off. She crossed her arms,

"Really?" she asked, not believing my words, even a bit. I chuckled.

"No, actually, Its a plan" I said in a hushed whisper, her eyes sparkled with excitement.

"Plan? I love plans! Tell me about it" she asked leaning forward. I shook my head. "Pleeeeeease" She asked. When I didn't break, she pouted, and was she adorable. I had to tell her.

"okay, promise me you wont say a word"

"Cross my heart" she said,

"Last night, I lied to him"

"About what?"

"About my s****l relationship with Pari" I whispered,

"But you didn't have any s****l relationship with Pari, right?" she scrunched up her brows on confusion.

"Yes, but he didn't have to know that, right? I said a few things, added my fantasies to them and made up a whole steamy hot relationship between us" She gasped.

"That's gross. You can't do that to Pari. She was your ex-girlfriend, you owe her some respect-"

"I know I know. He asked me",

"What?" she yelled

"Yes" I sighed, "Apparently, since he cant ask Pari, because its not Proper, he asked me to tell him what exactly my relationship with her was like, in those six months. Trust me, I didn't plan on any of this. I actually told him off, when he asked me that. But Salim came up with this plan. And it worked. You saw how restless he was this morning. He tagged along to the hospital and how they both fought over who would accompany me"

"Yeah but still, I am not comfortable with any of this. I mean, I support you trying to win her back and all, but, I'm not sure on your goal on breaking them up. I mean, if she really loves him-"

"She doesn't love him. She loves me" I snapped. She seemed taken aback with my tone. I sighed, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap like that" she smiled a little, "whether she accepts it or denies it, the truth is she still loves me. And she isn't over me yet. And Noel, don't think he is what he pretends to be. He is a douche bag and I can prove it"

"I know, Salim mentioned it to me, about Noel being a leech or something like that" she said,

"Yeah, he is he one who found out his true colors actually, or else, I would have given up on her for him, a long time ago" I said, not believing my own words.

"He is amazing, isn't he?" She said looking at her fingers, I raised my eyebrows at her and smirked. When she met my eyes, she blushed and looked away.

"Okay, I want to know everything now", I rubbed my palms in anticipation, "What's going on between you two, clearly there is some chemistry and may be physics too", I muttered the last part, which earned me a smack on my arm, 'Ouch" I feigned hurt and rubbed my arm, she blushed again and looked away. For someone as fair as her, whenever she blushed, it looked so adorable and cute. "Tell me",

"There is nothing to tell" she said, still fighting the blush.

""'He is amazing, isn't he' is not nothing" I tried to imitate her tone with a little dreamy touch up, She smacked me again

"There is nothing" She said sternly,

"Come on, I just laid my heart out to you. You owe me something" I said.

"There is nothing to tell" She exhaled, I was about to protest when a middle aged doctor entered the room,

"Good evening, I'm Dr.Jacobs. How are you feeling Mr.Chary?", he asked looking at the files in his hand.

"I'm feeling good" I replied. "And this is Anya, my best friend" I added the introduction.

"Hello Ms.Anya" he greeted her with a nod, "Well, lets start, shall we".

*******

After the doctor confirming that I am totally heir and healthy, me and Anya left. when we reached the lounge area, it was nothing like I expected. It was empty. Anya enquired with the receptionist and she informed that they were all waiting at the car park. Something was wrong, I could sense it. I thought I would be greeted with, 'How are you?' or 'How did it go?', or 'What did the doctor say' or something along those lines. But No, I was greeted with silence and the tension was thick in air. Mr. Sharma was sitting on a bench, with his head held in between his hands. My dad sat beside him, which looked like he was consoling him of sorts. Salim was standing beside them with his arms crossed and a frown etched on his face. His hair messy and clothes wrinkled, he looked like he just rolled in a wrestling match.

"What happened?" I asked. Silence. I looked around, his bodyguard was missing, and so were Pari and Noel, where did they all go? And why on earth will Richard leave Salim's side? He would follow him to the toilet as well, if needed.

"Where are the rest?",I asked. Salim sighed and walked towards me, running his hand through his hair.

"I think we screwed up, man" he said.

"What?" I frowned. He sighed again rubbing his temples.

******

Salim briefly explained to me about Pari and Noel's fight just after I left for the tests. Apparently, Noel lost his temper and confronted her on her virtue in front of everyone. Which made Mr. Sharma really upset and he got into an argument with Noel as well. Pari was completely hurt at the fact that I would lie about something like that and she was also dissapointed in Noel for embarassing her in front of everyone. She took off running from the hospital with tears streaming down her face. Salim couldn't let her go alone, and he himself couldn't go because Noel was getting out of control so, he sent Richard to make sure Pari was safe. The argument at the hospital gt heated to such a point that they all got thrown out for creating nuisance. Noel wouldn't keep his mouth shut and one thing led to other and Salim got in hand to hand with him and they started drawing blood. Since Salim was visibally better muscled than Noel, he took him on easily, which drove Noel furious and he left too.

"That di*k! Why did he have to do that?" I asked. I was damn scared that Pari might hate me and resent me after this. Since Richard left, Mr. Sharma was driving, because he was the only one who had an international driving license, my dad sat on the front seat beside him. Me, Anya and Salim sat back.

"Shut up will you. Its partly your fault. Why did you have to rile him up like that? What did you tell him, anyway which made him so upset?" my dad asked throwing his hands up,

"Oh, blame me. Go on, do that. What else could I expect? Werent you the one asking me to get him talking?"

"Is this your brilliant pllan? Come on! I shouldnt have trused you knucklehead anyway", he muttered the last part,

"I am a knucklehead, guess what that would make you?" I pointed a finger at him

"I am a bgger knucklehead, for trusting you," he said as a matter of fact

"Well, don't then", I snapped

"Fine" he yelled

"Fine" I yelled louder.

"Stop it, will you. I am worried about my daughter and you both are getting on my nerves. Dont make me run into a truck or something" Mr. Sharma yelled at us. We all fell silent as his grip on the steering wheel tightened.

Soon we reached the farm house. A taxi just left as we arrived, and I hoped that Pari wasn't the one who hired it. I opened the passenger door and bolted right in. I couldnt let her leave, not right now. Not now, when I just got her back. I had to make sure, that it wasnt her who left.

There she was sitting on the sofa sette, with her legs pulled up. Her arms hugging her knees. Dry tears tainted her cheeks. My heart tugged at the sight. She looked hurt and broken. And somehow it was all because of me. I hated to see her like this. I hate myself for causing her this pain. I would do anything to make her happy, even if its Noel, that her happinness lies in, then I am willing to step aside. I have seen her cry a lot of times and I don't have it in me anymore. I just cant see her shed anymore tears.

I silently sat beside her. My head hung low. I dissapointed her again. No wonder if she is mad at me and hates me, and would never want to see my face anymore.

She sniffed, "What ever happens. What ever changes, What ever the reasons are. This will never change will it?" she whispered, I turned my head towards her, "The judgement. People are always gonna judge our relationship, won't they. We are together or we split, doesnt matter. We are always gonna be judged" she said.

Hearing it from her, made it seem more real. we are always gonna be judged. That was very true. When we were together, they judged us, we broke up and they still did. Guess, we cant run forever from it.

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