The Possessive Sociopath

Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Not Enough

Reeve Lowel's Point of View

"Are you going or not? Kanina mo pa tinitingnan 'yang hawak mo. Bigla ka na lang natutulala, ayos ka lang ba?" I rolled my eyes from her statement.

Mukhang okay ba ako, Colleen? 'Yun na lang sana ang sasabihin ko sa kanya pero inawat ko ang sarili ko. Colleen don't deserve to feel my wrath. Hindi naman dahil siya ang nandito ay sa kanya ko ibubuntong ang galit ko.

"He's getting married." I told her, but the fact that I whispered it to the air seems like I'm saying it to myself. I can't grasp the idea of him marrying someone else and not me. I build a man for someone else and it hurt so much. Sobra akong nasasaktan ngayon pero hindi ko lang pinapahalata kay Colleen. It's been months since he left me. At simula noon ay halos araw-araw na akong umiiyak. But not today. I don't want to cry in front of my friend.

Colleen is my childhood friend. Kailan lang din kami ulit nagkita dahil nagkaroon siya ng trabaho dito sa city. And I'm glad she's here. And since she don't know anyone here, dito ko na lang siya pinagstay sa condo ko. And now, we are splitting all the expenses in half. It's Sunday kaya naman wala kaming trabaho na dalawa. We are watching a movie not until someone knocked the door and the mailman gave me an invitation.

The invitation for his wedding. Nanginginig ang kamay kong buksan ang invitation na ito. And the first thing that I saw is the devil's name with a nice f*****g font.

You are invited to

Stevan Dominique V. Hernandez

and

Erin Shahani L. Dizon's

Nuptial

My hand is literally shaking right now, from the pain and the madness. Erin is my College friend at sa iisang kumpanya lang din kami nagtatrabaho. Stevan is my four-year boyfriend. Everything is smooth and sailing hindi ko akalain na gagawin niya ang ginawa niya sa akin. Steven is a sweet boyfriend since we are in our first year of relationship. He was so consistent and so gentleman. Hindi ko akalain na sa apat na taon na aming pagsasama ay lolokohin niya ako. To tell you the fact that he banged my best friend, Erin. Erin doesn't need to flash her cleavage; she was really that attractive. I thought Stevan liked me for being me, alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi ako kagandahan, compare to Erin who looks really pretty especially when she smiles. I thought at first Stevan love me for being simple. Yet, he chooses to cheat.

"I'm sorry." I looked up and met those cold eyes. I'm making sure how serious he was. I can't move my body; I can't even utter a word. As my tongue twitched and think for an answer.

"P-pardon?" The only word I managed to say. His face remains emotionless. I tried to reach him but he just shrugged. I'm keeping my tears to fall. I don't want to look like a fool in front of him.

"I'm sorry but I'm breaking up with you." He said with a hint of seriousness in his voice. Parang may malaking nakabara sa lalamunan ko. It's like I was hit by a truck. I didn't break my eye contact with him. Kahit masakit nanatili akong nakatingin sa kanya. We're in the middle of the park. This supposedly our date. So, I set up some packed foods and blanket. Picnic date. Hindi na kasi kami gaanong nagkikita dahil busy kaming dalawa sa trabaho naming dalawa. But I never thought it will end up this way. Buong akala ko ay naghihintay lang kami ng tamang pagkakataon upang magpakasal. Both of us are in the right age to marry and start a family pero hinihintay ko lang siyang tanungin ako ulit sa pangalawang pagkakataon.

"Why? Because I easily get jealous? Nasasakal ba kita? Nakukulitin ka ba? Stevan don't do this to me. You know I love you, right?" And the wall I made a while ago easily breaks just like my tears flows like a river. I really love Stevan.

"It's not you, it's me." He stated but I stomp my foott and shouted. "Don't give me that crap!" Sobrang gasgas na ang linya na ito. I don't want to hear something like that.

"I fall out of love and I think I love somebody else, happy? I want to finish this crappy relationship of ours because I'm so done." Hindi ko na napigilang sampalin siya. How dare he called 'this' crappy? Seriously? Iniisip ba niyang parang isang laro lang ang lahat?

"Why? What happened, please tell me. Huwag mo naman akong iiwan sa dilim, Stevan. Sabihin mo ang dahilan kung bakit ka makikipaghiwalay dahil kung hindi, hindi kita bibitawan." I may look so desperate right now, but who cares? I really love Stevan. Hindi ko siya kayang bitawan ng ganon kabilis. Nilalaban ko ang mga luhang ngayon ay naguunahan nang kumawala sa aking mga mata.

"It's not really you Reeve. Wala naman problema sa'yo. You are a great girlfriend but it's not what I need right now. Alam mong matagal ko ng gusting magkaroon ng pamilya."

"But I'm ready now, Stevan. Hinihintay lang kitang tanungin ako ulit." Pero nakita ko ang pag-iling ng kanyang ulo.

"It's not it, Reeve. I made a mistake... I got your friend, Erin, pregnant." Kung kanino ay para akong tinapunan ng malamig na tubig sa aking buong katawan. My whole body is shaking, from anger, from frustration, from pain. Naghalo-halo na ang aking nararamdaman sa aking katawan.

"W-what d-did you say?" Nailagay ko ang kamay sa aking bibig just to cover my mouth being wide open.

"I got her pregnant Reeve. It just happened. It was an accident." Napahawak na lang ako sa sintido ko na parang hirap na hirap intindihin ang mga nangyayari ngayon.

"Paanong aksidente? Ano 'yun, nabundol siya ng d**k mo tapos nabuntis siya? It is not an accident, you wanted it in the first place. Bakit hindi ka ba makapaghintay sa akin, Stevan? Konting panahon na lang hinihingi ko sa'yo, hindi mo mapirmi yang libog mo." Nagagalit na pahayag ko. Even if I'm trembling with madness, Mabuti at nakuha ko pa rin magsalita.

"We are both wasted in the same party months ago, Reeve. And now, she's pregnant. Hindi ko alam pero kahit konting panahon ko lang siya nakasama si Erin, I know to myself that she's the one. Nakikita ko ang future ko sa kanya, Reeve. Magiging unfair sa'yo kung ipagpapatuloy ko pa ang relasyon nating dalawa. I don't have anything to say now, Reeve. I just fell out love."

"Bakit bestfriend ko pa, Stevan? Why her?"

"I told you Reeve, it just happened. You are invited in our wedding by the way." I was petrified for a moment. Wedding?

"You are such an asshole, Stevan." Hindi makapaniwalang sambit ko sa kanya. Stevan looked so haggard right now. He smelled alcohol too. Pinapanghina ako habang tumitingin sa kanya. So, this is the end of us?

"My middle finger salutes you." I said angrily and turn my back at him. Hanggang sa tinalikuran ko siya my tears begun to fall and I can't help it. I walk stupidly while sobbing. I regret spending four years of my life loving that kind of man! Pleasing him! And what did he give me in return? Nothing but a heartbreak. I can't handle something like this. I didn't even care kahit anong hitsura ko ngayon. I look like a s**t, I know. But what can I do? Hindi ko akalain na magtatapos ito ng ganito. What am I supposed to do now? That's it. That's how my love story with Stevan ended.

"If only looks can kill, Reeve. I am sure to myself that I will be dead right now." Iniwaksi ko sa isipan ko ang nangyari noong isang buwan. Everything is just coming at me. Hindi naman madaling magmove on lalo na at apat na taon kong minahal si Stevan. He f****d Erin while we are still together, he's a cheater. Both of them are cheaters. Kung dati ay nakikita ko na si Stevan sa future ko, ngayon naman ay parang bula na bigla na lang naglaho.

"Reeve, you are scaring me right now. Bigla-bigla ka na lang natutulala diyan. Tell me, what's wrong? Can you say something please or anything?" Tinapunan ko si Colleen ng isang malamlam na tingin.

"P*tangina, ang sakit." Sabi ko sa kanya at hinawakan ang dibdib ko. I started crying again.

"Ngayon lang kita narinig magmura, Reeve." Pigil na tawa ni Colleen.

"Ang lutong, ha? Parang chicharon." Hindi na ako makapag comment sa sinabi niya dahil patuloy lang na dumadaloy ang luha ko.

"May mali ba sa akin?" I asked her out of the blue when Colleen gave me a glass of water.

"Walang may mali sa'yo, Reeve. You are so good to be true. Hindi ba mas mabuti na at umalis si Stevan sa buhay mo? Means that he doesn't deserve you. He's a complete asshole." Naiiyak lang lalo ako sa sinabi ni Colleen.

I get it, I think I am not pretty enough para may magstay sa akin. I don't have a big booby or a big ass or a sexy body. I am just me. My face is average, my body is average, my life is just so, so. Walang ka espe-espeyal sa akin at sa buhay. Maybe that is the reason why he got tired of it. Siguro ako rin ang may kasalanan, I am not enough for him. Sobrang baba na ng tingin ko sa sarili ko.

"Uminom ka na ng tubig, puro iyak na lang kasi ang ginagawa simula ng dumating ako ditto." Colleen is already staying here in my place for a month. One day before the break up happened, nagstay na si Colleen sa place ko. And I never been so thankful because Colleen is here with me, someone I can talk to. Maybe what I need right now is not advice but someone to listen to my misery.

I put the glass on my lips and start sipping but I thought it was water but I am dead wrong.

"Ano ba itong nilagay mo dito, Colleen? Buong akala ko tubig ang binigay mo sa akin. Bakit may halo itong alak?" Tumabi siya sa akin at inakbayan. Perks of being small, para bang niyayakap niya ako. But we don't do that kind of gestures. We never hugged each other. We never kissed each other's kids. Even if we're close friends, we can't do that kind of sweet gestures that friends usually do.

"Because Reeve, you don't need water right now but a glass of alcohol, okay? Just this once, uminom ka naman kahit isa." Sinimangutan ko siya dahil alam niyang hindi ako umiinom. I never been into parties with alcoholic beverages, kung meron man ay juice lamang ang iniinom ko and I remember Stevan told me that I am no fun. Kaya naman, umuwi na lang kaming dalawa dahil hindi rin naman daw ako iinom.

"I don't really like to drink, Col." She smirked at me and pulled out another glass.

"This glass is for me. Sasamahan kitang uminom. I want you to stop worrying for nothing. Actually, it is a good thing dahil finally nagbreak na kayong dalawa. Stevan showed his true colors." Iiyak na sana ako lalo ng maisip ko si Stevan, kaya wala na akong magawa kundi inumin ang alak na binigay sakin ni Colleen.

"But I love him so much, Colleen. I am so hurt right now. Both of them cheated on me. Ginawa nila ako tanga. Hindi niya ako kayang hintayin, dahil ba hindi ko maibigay ang virginity ko sa kanya? Kahit magpahawak sa boobies ko ay hindi ko magawa?" I cried and continue sipping from the glass.

"It's not your fault, Reeve. Hindi mo kasalanan ang nangyari, siguro ang mali mo lang na ginawa ay minahal mo ng sobra si Stevan."

"Gusto ko na siyang kalimutan! See? We have been together for four years and then he's going to marry someone else now. Halos isang buwan lang kaming naghiwalay. I am stuck here looking like s**t while he's happy building a family with Erin." I cried in disbelief.

"Yeah, right! That is what I am trying to say to you, girl. Huwag mong isipin na ikaw ang kawawa ditto." Tumulo na naman ang mga luha ko.

"Ako naman talaga ang kawawa dito." Kinuha ko ang damit ko at doon na lang suminga.

"Gusto ko siyang saktan, sobra pa sa sakit na binigay niya sa akin."

"How about Erin?" Napaisip ako. Ang daming mga masasamang sitwasyon ang pumapasok sa isip ko. Tulad nang kikidnappin ko 'yung magiging anak nila. O kaya naman itutulak ko si Erin habang buntis pa, o kaya naman magkakalat ako sa kasal nilang dalawa pero winaksi ko 'yun sa aking isipan. I don't want to be the bad guy here. Ayoko rin nang dahil sa akin ay may mamatay na sa isang buhay.

"Why don't you give your virginity to someone else?"

"W-what did you say? Ilang taon kong pinakaingatan ang aking bataan tapos bigla bigla ko na lang itong ibibigay sa ibang tao?" Hindi makapaniwalang sabi ko kay Colleen na prenteng nakaupo sa sofa ngayon.

"Why not? The best revenge you can do right now is to deflate Stevan's ego. See? Ilang taon ka niya niyaya makipag s*x pero ibibigay mo lang din sa iba." No, no, no! I don't like her idea. I wanted to be pure, lalo na sa araw ng kasal ko. I think it will be amazing, lalo na at virgin ka sa unang gabi niyong magasawa.

"No, Reeve, don't look at me like that and don't be so old fashion. Hindi naman magiging mababa ang worth mo kung hindi ka virgin. Your worth as a person doesn't depend if you're a virgin or not." Still! Napaisip ako sa sinabi ni Colleen.

"Masasaktan ba talaga ego ni Stevan sa gagawin ko?" Humigpit ang hawak ko sa baso. I want to hurt him in more ways than one.

"Paano naman malalaman ni Stevan ito?" I asked but Colleen shrugged me away.

"Don't think about that for now. So, are you in?" I clenched my teeth.

"Fuxk yeah, I'm in!" Kinakabahan ako dahil sa iniisip ko at sa gagawin ko.

"So," sabi ni Colleen at tumayo, hinila na rin niya ako palabas ng condo naming dalawa.

"I want you to pick random door here in our condominium, and do your business?" Humawak ako sa doorknob ng aming pinto.

"No! Why here? No, I don't like! Paano kung babae pala ang nakatira or worse may pamilya na?" Tinanggal ni Colleen ang pagkahawak ko sa doorknob.

"Then choose another door! Common sense naman, Reeve!" She pushed me towards the elevator. Buti at kaming dalawa lang ang nandito. The condominium is divided into four. Nandito kami sa building D, dito kasi mas affordable ang prices ng isang condominium. Pero itong si Colleen mukhang hindi pa nakukuntento sa sa Building D hinila niya ako papunta sa Annex kung saan ito ang pinakamahal na condominium.

"Really, Colleen? This place is out of our reach!" She pushed me in and I don't have any choice but to follow her.

"Now, choose a floor." Nanginginig ang kamay kong pindutin ang 6th floor. Ano ba itong kalokohan na pinapasok ko?

"Alright! I'm ao excited!" Colleen said while grasping her both hands. Napasandal ako sa elevator. Oh no, this will be a bad idea!

"Here we go!" Colleen pulled me out from the elevator and walks towards the corridor.

"Now choose a room." Nilibot ko ang paningin ko sa buong lugar. Which number should I choose?

I walk towards the last door on the left.

"Remember, Reeve, there is no turning back." Colleen whispered when I reached the front door of room 638. Huminga muna ako ng malalim at sinimulan kumatok. Hindi pa ako nakuntento at sinimulan ko naman pindutin ang doorbell.

May isang lalaking ang bumukas ng pintuan. Halos malaglag ang panga ko dahil ngayon lang ako nakakita ng mala-Adonis ang katawan. He's so gorgeous and good looking. At bago ko pa makalimutan ang pakay ko dito, nagsalita ako ng ikinagulat ng kanyang mundo.

"Do you want to have s*x with me?" I muttered, face straight.

****