Heart of Yours

Chapter 38

Samika's POV

"Hi Nyle," I smile at him even though I am not in the mood to talk about anything.

"Hi. Can I talk to you?" He asks me and his eyes fall on Devon. And Devon is looking at me, and in his mind he already knows that I am going to tell Nyle that I am not in the mood because I need to talk to Devon.

And I don't know what got over me, but now more than ever I feel the ultimate need to do exactly the opposite of what Devon has in his mind.

"Yes. Absolutely. Devon was just heading back to the pack house," I tell Nyle and I see Devon's eyes holding pain. If only that could at least match the pain I am going through right now!

Devon doesn't make a scene, thankfully and walks towards the pack house. And I smile at Nyle again. Yes. I just sent my true love because I wanted to talk to my first love in private. The amount of drama in my life astonishes me sometimes.

Nyle walks and stands beside me and we both just stare at the night sky and moon without saying a word to each other for the first few minutes.

"How's your mate?" I ask him, trying my best to get rid of the awkward silence between us. And I just want to get this done and get back home so I can cry myself to sleep.

"I don't know. Haven't heard from her since she left," he says and I nod.

She is an Alpha after all. So she will have to leave back to her pack at one point or the other. I still remember making her kneel before me with just one roar and honestly that's when I knew I wasn't like the others.

"Yeah. Alpha duties might be keeping her busy," I whisper and he shakes his head, looking at me.

"You know that's not the case," Nyle says and I stare at him again.

"Sam. You have no idea-"

"Are you for real, Nyle?" I ask him and he shuts his mouth, as he stares at me.

It's been weeks since I last talked to Nyle. I have been busy with my own s**t to deal with. I was busy trying to know who I was. I was busy keeping myself and my pack members alive. I meanwhile even traded my soul to a spirit who is constantly buzzing at my ear about the bargain for the pups of my pack.

And once I realized who I was, and took my journey towards it.. it didn't last even a day. I had to come back again.

"I lost my mother. She was murdered. And I am in the middle of an existential crisis and you are worried that I am not acknowledging your feelings. Is that it?" I asked him and for a moment he felt ashamed and he looked at the moon again.

I rolled my eyes and wished him good night before turning around but he held my hand, catching me off guard. He pulled me towards him and that was my last straw.

I pushed him into the pond and didn't even turn around as I walked towards the pack house.

But the pack house wasn't any better. I can hear both Arnold and Devon getting into a verbal fight when I got home. Is this what I have to deal with on a daily basis?

I look at Devon and I don't have words. I expected really better from him. Not only did he do something that is making me unable to find a reason to forgive him, but he is just making it even worse by doing all such things.

I don't say a word as I walk into the guest room and fall on the bed. I closed my eyes and all I could see was my mother as a dead body lying on the ground. I open my eyes again and just stare at the ceiling.

Now the only one closest to family other than Devon is my dad. But I don't even know where he is. As much as he was a monster, he still loved his wife. But there would be a war if he comes to know that Devon killed his wife.

A lone tear slips through the corner of my eye, just thinking about the issues on my plate. When did my life get this complicated? I don't even have one good thing to hold on to. And I feel like I am drowning.

But the thing is, I don't even want to fight or swim back to shore. I just want to sink deeper until no one can find me anymore.

Just when I was about to close my eyes, I heard that one whisper again. That one whisper that made me cry even more.

"Kill the one you love the most"