Spellbound

Chapter 19

    Alton stood awkwardly in the hallway, fist hovering over the door, unsure of whether he should knock or leave. When he had heard Senya hadn’t been feeling well, he had thought he should come check on her, but now that he was here, he was beginning to question his intentions.

    I’m simply worried about her, he told himself. I’m just here to check up on her. Relly would appreciate it if I took care of his sister just like I would take care of mine…

    He brushed his knuckles over the wood, barely making a sound. Oh, who was he kidding? Blynca would never let him live this down if he returned to the ball without so much as trying to speak to Senya. She had somehow convinced him that it was an opportunity presenting itself to him to meet her privately when everyone else was preoccupied.

    He had come here on an impulse he’d been fighting for the better part of two years. Was it fair to lay it on her when he had let her think they could be nothing more than friends? And how would he face Rellon when they returned?

    Maybe tomorrow, he thought, flexing his fingers away from the door. She might be asleep. He didn’t want to disturb her when she was sleeping off her sickness.

    With a sigh, he turned away. It was only then that his ears picked up the footsteps fast approaching. They were light and familiar, and he knew who it was before she even spoke.

    “A-Alton?” Senya approached him, surprise raising her brows. She fiddled with the cloak wrapped around her, shyly lowering her face. “What are you doing here?”

    “Veira told me you weren’t feeling well,” Alton blurted out before he could stop and think. Realization dawned on Senya, and her shoulders slumped.

    “Oh,” she said, almost disappointed. “You came to check up on me. I just went out for a walk. No need to worry. I’m alright.”

    Why? Had Alton said something wrong? He looked her over, trying to find any sign of illness. But then, he remembered she was a witch, and witches were immune to mortal diseases. An awkward silence passed over them. Senya avoided his gaze and picked at a loose thread.

    Alton knew the right thing would be to leave. He opened his mouth to bid her goodnight, but Blynca’s words invaded his mind. How long was he going to watch her from afar? Why did he have to stay away from her? Would it be so wrong, so selfish to have her?

    “Senya.” Alton closed the distance between them, and Senya, startled, looked at him. He discarded all hesitation, blamed it on the glass of wine he’d had tonight, and gently lifted her chin. “There’s something I wish to tell you. Do you mind if I step in your room for a few minutes?”

    Senya’s cheeks colored, but she didn’t pull away to Alton’s relief. “Uh…” She coughed. “A-Alton, what’s gotten into you?”

    It wasn’t too late to back out now. He could tell her it was nothing, that he was only worried. But…

    “Not out here,” he quietly urged. He stepped back to let her make the decision to send him away or let him in.

    She hesitated, her eyes flickering from him to the door. Then, she nodded, still uncertain, and pushed open the door to let him in. He shut it behind them, leaving them in complete privacy. Senya shed her cloak and hung it on a hook. Alton’s heart began to pound. When was the last time he and Senya were all alone? When they were still kids? He couldn’t remember. All he could focus on now was the sweat forming on his brow and the sudden jump in his heart that made him wonder if he was dying.

    “W-what is it?” Senya asked after a moment of pregnant silence. “Is something wrong?”

    Alton’s mouth was dry. Well, it was too late to back out now. He needed to tell her. She had said so herself. It wasn’t fair to make a decision without letting her know.

    “Senya,” he said, hating the waver he heard in his voice. What was he to do? The speech he had prepared had been flung out the window, and Alton was struggling to find a way to tell her without sounding so presumptuous.

    Senya let out a nervous chuckle. “Alton, you’re not acting like yourself at all. Have you drunk too much? I don’t blame you. The palace has the most exquisite wine. Maybe you need to take a seat?”

    But he wasn’t drunk. No. Alton needed to put a foot forward. He knew he would regret it in the future if he hadn’t at least told her how he felt. He approached her again, slow and deliberate, giving her sufficient time to back away if she was uncomfortable. She didn’t, but her stricken expression wasn’t encouraging.

    “S-Senya,” he said again, forcing the muscles of his jaw to loosen. “I need to talk to you about something. Something…personal.”

    She studied him, her eyes glistening with worry, her full lips pursed. “Is it about the girl you’re interested in? The one you told me about?”

    Alton drew in a breath. He regretted framing Senya as the mysterious girl he was thinking of courting. It made things infinitely harder.

    “Yes,” he said, breathless. He took her hands, enjoying how they cooled his heated palms. She looked down quizzically.

    “What is it? Did you ask her yet?”

    Alton couldn’t look away from her. Somehow, in the dim light, she appeared to be glowing, and he knew he couldn’t lose her without trying. “You look beautiful tonight.”

    She blinked. “What?” Her face turned redder as she registered his words. “You are drunk. Do you need me to take you back to your quarters?”

    “No.” Alton brushed a hand over her cheek, a shiver running through him at the touch. How he had longed to caress her like he did now. “Senya, tell me something. Have you ever considered me as anything other than your friend?” He couldn’t bring himself to say ‘brother’.

    “I…” Her voice caught, surprise flickering over her face. “Alton, why are you…This is, well, I’m not sure how to answer that.”

    Alton paused, unable to continue. He wasn’t sure what answer he was expecting. The humor he always relied on to get out of sticky situations eluded him. So this was what nervous felt like. He understood now why Veira always seemed so timid when meeting new people.

    “The girl I told you about,” Alton murmured, sliding his fingers along her face down to her chin. “What if I was talking about you?”

    She tensed. “Me?” Her breath caught then escaped in slight shudders. “Wait, me? No, you must be mistaken. How could…but I thought…” She went quiet, allowing the shock of it to finally register in her mind. Alton wished she would say something. The silence was worse to bear than whatever angry outbursts she might have.

    “Senya,” he said, pulling her away from her thoughts. “I’m sorry I avoided you the past few years. I thought moving on and forgetting about you was the right thing to do, but…I thought about what you said. That I shouldn’t let your brother tell me what to do, that I should make sure you feel the same way before I make a decision. I thought maybe it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t…talk to you first. So…well, what do you…” He trailed off, unsure of how to finish that sentence.

    Senya swallowed, her face pale. Alton worried she would faint if he let her go. “Alton, you really…?” Was she always so unreadable? Alton couldn’t decipher a single emotion in her expression. He was shocked when tears welled up in her eyes. “Why?”

    Confusion stung his heart. Why? What did she mean, why?

    “Why?” She grabbed his wrist, pulled it from her face. What did this mean? “Why now? Of all the times you could’ve told me, you…” She shook her head, still holding him.

    Oh, heavens. He had ruined it. Alton bit his tongue, fought back tears. He had confessed to her and ruined their friendship. He should have listened to Rellon. What had he done?

    But then, to muddle his emotions even more, Senya threw her arms around his waist and buried her face into his chest, ignoring the buttons that would surely press into her skin.

    “You stupid oaf,” she said. “You giant, stupid, oblivious oaf.”

    “Senya?” Alton reacted by returning her sudden embrace, entranced by the soft, warm body pressed against his.

    “I’m sorry,” she said, peering up at him. She laughed but it was half-hearted. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve been dreaming about this moment? I’ve only ever had eyes for you, Alton, but I thought you never saw me as anything more than your sister.”

    Alton wanted to be happy about her words, but something was wrong. Why was she apologizing? Why was he so confused? Still, he assured her, “I like you, Senya. I want to try this out.”

    She couldn’t hold in her tears. She gripped his jacket. “It’s not fair.”

    “What isn’t fair?” Alton grabbed her shoulders. “What’s wrong?”

    “Alton, I think I’ve made a mistake.” She stepped away from him, forcefully wiping away her tears. “I…I need time to think.” She made sure to keep her gaze away from him. “Tomorrow, after the ball. I’ll have my answer by then. Is that okay?”

    Alton felt uneasy. There was something wrong. He could sense it like it was an odd smell permeating in the air. It made him antsy and awkward. Despite this, he said, “Of course. I’m sorry if I shocked you. I’ll be waiting, then.”

    “Thank you,” she whispered, sniffling.

    “I’ll leave you to rest.” Alton headed for the exit. “Goodnight, Senya.”

    He switched on the light for her. The lamps buzzed on, coating the room in a warm orange glow.

    “Alton.” Her voice stopped him before he could make his leave. “My answer will depend on what happens at tomorrow’s ball. I don’t know what the outcome will be. But I want you to know that if I have to refuse you, it’s not because I’m not interested. I’m sorry.”

    Alton wasn’t sure what to make of that. He had more questions springing up, but Senya was already heading for the bathroom. Whatever it was that was bothering her, he would have to wait until the next ball to find out. With a sigh, Alton left Senya’s chambers, too tired to return to the ongoing ball. So, he decided, he would turn in early for the night. He could only hope that all would go well the next day.