A Little Bit Married

Flower Bouquets and a Misunderstanding

Partners that did not deserve us. It was the best way I could think of Samantha and Kevin. I hated them to the core, my hands lightly shaking as I met Gray's eyes.

He was watching me, the cigarette burning away in his hands, his eyes so f*****g expressive that it felt like he was trying to say a lot more than hiss lips could say.

I walked forward again, my chest heaving as I reached out for his hand. He did not say a word as I reached out for his hand and gently removed the cigarette from his fingers.

I hated that I couldn't bring myself to cover the distance forever and just stay in here. I hated that I couldn't be the one to comfort him right here and hold him close. I hated that I still needed to know the truth. About that child. About his relationship with Sylvia. About the things that had really happened to him.

I took out the cigarette, then sighed, my eyes briefly meeting his.

"It feels nice growing attached again, Gray. I am not just attached to you, but attached to pleasure of it, and inevitably, the pain."

He still didn't reply, and I slowly turned away, holding the still burning cigarette in my hand. I had barely taken a step forward away from him, when he suddenly pulled me back, my back hitting his chest and stomach, a small breath leaving my lips as he wrapped his hand around my chest, pulling me close.

His other hand was holding my hand down, his fingers pushing through my fingers, opening up the spaces as he filled them perfectly.

I turned a little, as his face buried in the side of mine, his lips parted, his eyes closed as he just stayed there, breathing me in, holding me close.

I wished it was different. I wish things were easier, but it seemed like we started off on the wrong side of destiny, and it keeps punishing us for it.

"Please, believe me, Angeline. I need you to believe me."

My eyes closed, my hand resting on his, tears filling my eyes. "I... I just want the truth. I want to know what you really are. I want to know who you really are. Why wouldn't you want your child when..."

"Please," he said, stopping me in place, his chest heaving against my back, every tremor that passed through his body reverberating through mine. "Don't seek this out. Don't ask about this. Anything about this."

"But you wanted me to know."

"So you wouldn't hear it anywhere else, sweetheart. I wanted to make sure I would be transparent. I wanted to make sure I would..."

"But this is not you being transparent, Gray. This is you shrouding yourself away and pushing me away. This is you closing off again."

He said nothing for a while, his face still against mine, his lips parted against my cheek, his chest heaving hard.

"I..."

"Don't you trust me? Are you running away from the child because you don't believe he is yours?"

He swallowed. "He is mine."

"Gray."

"But I am never taking responsibility for that. I never had a say in that child, I am not giving him my name. I am not giving him my affection, I am not giving him my legacy."

"He is your first child."

He let me go, and I turned to face him, my eyes wide in disbelief. He was resigned now, his eyes low, his face set in an expression that told me he had his mind set on what he had just said. Letting me go... it would just be collateral damage as long as he avoided that child at any costs.

"He is not my first child. I am childless as far as I am concerned."

"This is not you, Gray."

"This is, in fact, me. What are you going to do, Evangeline? You have seen yet another layer. What are you going to do with the information you have now?"

My eyes darted across both of his, but he was so closed off that his eyes seemed almost transparent, with nothing reflected in it. It broke my heart to see him that way.

"Are you hoping I would leave?"

He shrugged. "I was hoping you would stay, but I would understand if a man who avoids his own child is not one you want to stay with."

I closed my eyes for a while, took in a sharp breath, and then met his eyes again. He hadn't faltered even once, and I knew he hated Sylvia and Samantha, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't help but feel pity for the child who didn't ask to be brought into these messy circumstances. The child was innocent in the end.

"The child is innocent, Gray. Sylvia may have wronged you, but... "

"He is the wrong against me. Nothing you say will ever change my mind. I gave his mother sustenance. She is never going to need anything else. But I am not a father. As far as I am concerned, I am not a father."

I shook my head. "You seem to have made your decision."

"I have. Long ago. It has served me until now, and it will continue to."

I bit down on my lips, then let out a small sigh. I put out the cigarette and put it in the trash, then turned to him.

"I am still going to need my space, then."

I might be crazy but I saw a bit of disappointment flash through his eyes, and his eyes suddenly glistened. It was all gone in the blink of an eye, and it made me question everything I had seen.

"Alright."

My teeth gritted hard as I turned away, my fists clenching. I needed strength to walk away from his scent in this room. From his image right behind me. From his feel against me, his lips on mine, his body on mine.

My hand reached for the door knob, and I held my breath, my chest heaving hard as I turned it.

"Evangeline."

I stopped, turning to him. His eyes were cold now, and his fists clenched too.

"You are still my wife. Flower bouquets and a misunderstanding should not make you forget that."

My brows furrowed. Flower bouquets? What flower...

Wait. I had forgotten about the bouquet that had been sent earlier, but it was obviously still burned in his mind.

I met his eyes again, and for a moment, he held eye contact. I wished I could see all the expression I used to see splashing in colours across the canvas of his eyes. But there was nothing right now, and I turned away, my treacherous heart still warm about the subtle jealousy that had been seated right inside his eyes.