A Little Bit Married

Think About Us

I closed the door on the room I had randomly picked. It was well furnished, but my clothes were still in Gray's room, and I couldn't bring myself to go back there. Not just because I didn't want to go back, but I was afraid of staying back there, staying right there, and being unable to leave.

I closed my eyes and leaned back on the door, my teeth gritted as tears filled my eyes, my chest heaving hard. My heart was breaking fast and hard, and I couldn't bring myself to think beyond the fact that I felt like I was grasping at nothing now.

My face buried in my hands as the tears ran faster and faster, my heart feeling way too heavy. The pieces were always going to be heavier.

I could see the images of Gray as I closed my eyes. His extremely beautiful smile as he handed me that half eaten croissant. His eyes as he brought me that piece of cake. His eyes as he saw those doughnuts. The way he had cupped my face right after. The way he had kissed me like those kisses would give him life.

I wondered if he was thinking about those things, too. If he was thinking about us. If he was haunted by the memories of us together. If he saw my face when he closed his eyes, and if my words echoed in his mind the way his words echoed in mine.

I leaned back on the wall as I sat on the floor, a single tearnrolling down my cheeks now as I watched the greying skies. Even the heaves were adamant on reminding me of him, and it couldn't have chosen a better reference to the sqirling dark grey of his eyes than the swirling, dark clouds of the night.

The problem was that I was scared of these clouds. I was scared of the thunder. Of the rain. But I could never be scared of Gray. Not even when he had a gun on him. Not even when I couldn't recognize him. Not even when he didn't seem like the man I had slowly grown attached to.

I let out a sigh as I slowly stood up and pulled the dress I was wearing. I sat underneath the shower, the water pelting down on me, my eyes closed. My hands still felt like I was running them down his stomach, cupping his neck. My lips still recognized his taste, but not his words. Not his actions.

I let out a shaky breath, my eyes closing as my hands wrapped tighter around me. I could hear the slight sound of the rain, and I braced myself to close the windows and bury my face in a pillow to keep myself sane in case it turned into a thunderstorm.

I finally stood up and turned off the shower, then stepped out, wrapping a towel around me. There were no robes in this room, and I tied my hair up with a smaller towel. I might have to sleep it out like this. I don't want to go back there. I don't want to have to fight my heart and my mind all over again.

I walked out towards the bedroom, and to my surprise, there was a small tray of food and a bowl of ice cream sitting on the bed. Right next to it was a comfy set of nightwear, a pair of ear muffs, and a large bouquet of blue roses.

My heart skipped a beat as I walked to it and pulled the small card inside the bouquet. It was a simple note that said; Your husband, Gray.

Tears immediately filled my eyes, and without thinking, I turned to the door, opening it wide. There was no one in the hallways, but my mind was losing hard against my little dangerously treacherous mind, and my feet seemed to obkige to the blatant betrayal.

I ran like my life depended on it, the rain becoming heavier outside, the sound filling my ears, my chest heaving from both fear and the adrenaline thrill of being able to go back to him, even if it was for an excuse as flimsy as this.

We had barely fixed everything regarding his child and Sylvia, but that was the gun my mind was holding against my heart, and unfortunately, it was unloaded.

I ran faster to his room, the thunderstorms as loud as my heartbeat, my eyes showing me flashbacks of things I was probably better off not thinking about right now. Like Gray. Like everything he had done to hold me spellbound, hell bound.

His images filled my mind, and I would never be able to understand just how crazy it felt, wanting to see someone I had just seen an hour ago so bad it felt like I was being starved. Like I was deported of the essence of being alive, and I needed to push my head above the water and breathe.

I had almost reached his room when a hand wrapped around mine and pulled me back hard, my face hitting a hard, familiar chest, my lips parting as I let out a shaky breath.

His hands wrapped around mine, his face leaning to rest in my neck. My heart was thumping hard with each breath Gray took against my neck, my body shaking with each sound of thunder, electricity coiding through Mt spine as he put his hands on my waist and stretched me further into him, his embrace warm and intentional.

"Were you thinking about us?" He asked, his voice low against my neck, his hands tightening agssint my waist.

I swallowed hard, my nails digging into his bare back, my chest heaving. "I couldn't think of anything else. I guess we are both so f*****g foolish."

He let out a sigh of relief, his eyes closing, his hand pushing up my back to cup the back of my neck, too.

"I know you want your space, but I want your space too, Evangeline. I am sorry I am too clingy to let you sleep alone. You snuck into my bed, and now I can't entertain the thought of an entire night alone."

I held him tight, my head nodding rapidly. "Come be in my space, then."

"Gladly."

I knew we were sweeping the issue away, just for tonight, and I hoped it wouldn't resurface to ruin it again tomorrow. I had never been more scared of the sunrise.