Fortress Island Series 3: Matteo, The Bastard's Sweetest Downfall

FIFTEEN: APPROVAL

Matt and I both groaned by the loud ringing of the cellphone. I was sure it was my phone, but I couldn’t recall where I placed it last night.

“Babe, your phone.” He murmured at the base of my neck. I chuckled from the vibration of his voice against my skin.

“Saan ko ba nailagay yun.” Sinubukan kong bumangon pero napatili lang din dahil hinila ako ni Matt pabalik sa kama. Tuluyang dumapa ito sa aking ibabaw.

“It’s not probably important.” He grinned, pressing his hardness against my stomach.

I rolled my eyes, but the silly grin didn’t leave my lips. “C’mon, Matt. Give me a damn break.” I literally passed out after the earth-shattering climax. Ang tanging tiyak ko’y mag-uumaga na nang tuluyang bumigay ang katawan ko.

Kahit mabigat ito ay nagawa ko itong hawiin sa aking ibabaw. I only heard his protests as he rolled over onto his back. Habang kinukuha ko ang t-shirt niyang hinubad kagabi, tinapunan ko ulit ito ng tingin.

Ang isang braso nito ay nakatakip na sa kanyang mga mata. Tiyak akong hindi lang ako ang napagod sa pinagggawa namin buong magdamag.

I winced in pain when I stood up. Matt literally wrecked me apart a couple of time. He’s a beast in bed. Ganun pa man ay hindi ko pa rin mapigilang mamula sa paraan ng pagsamba niya sa katawan ko ng ilang beses. I wouldn’t trade those moments for the world.

I found my backpack near the front door. Agad kong kinuha ang cellphone sa loob niyon. Ganun na lang ang pagkunot ng aking noon ang makitang naka twenty miscalls ako mula kay Bomi.

Hindi ko maipaliwanag pero agad na tinambol ng kaba ang aking dibdib. Sa tagal naming magkaibigan, hindi pa ito kailanman tumawag sa akin ng ganito kadaming beses. Kapag hindi ko nasasagot ang tawag ay hindi na ito uulit pa. bagkos ay mag-iiwan ito ng mensahe upang ipaalam ang rason ng kanyang pagtawag.

Sa nanginginig na mga daliri, I dialled her number. Pigil-hiningang hinintay kong may sumagot sa kabilang linya.

“Jesus Christ, Porsche!” Pasigaw na bungad ni Bomi. Her voice was a little shaken.

“Bomi? I’m sorry, I overslept. Hindi ko narinig ang pag-ring ng phone ko. Naka-ilang tawag ka sa akin. Is everything okay? Ang mga bata?” Pilit kong pinakalma ang aking boses. I kept telling myself tha everything was fine, and that Bomi was just being overdramatic over nonsense things.

“Porsche…” She trailed off then a sob came out. “I… I can’t find Ahreum.”

I swallowed hard and absentmindedly combed my hair with my fingers. “Hindi ko maintindihan, Bomi. Pakipaliwanag mo sa akin.”

“Hindi ba tumawag si Ahreum sa’yo? Nagising ako bandang alas siyete at agad na tinungo ang silid ng mga bata pero si Darren lang ang nadatnan kong tulog sa higaan niya. Kanina ko pa inikot ang buong kabahayan pati na rin ang kalsada at nagtanong-tanong na rin ako sa mga nagtitinda sa labas, walang nakapansin kay Ahreum. I have a feeling na madaling-araw pa lang ay umalis na ito.”

“Umalis? Bakit naman siya aalis! My god, Bomi. Saan naman tutungo ang batang yun.” Madaling-araw pa lang ay wala na ito sa bahay ni Bomi? Paano kung may nangyaring masama sa anaka ko?

“Hindi ko alam, Porsche. I’ve been calling her number but it’s out of reach. Maayos naman ang mood niya kagabi. Although kapansin-pansin ang pagiging tahimik niya pero hindi ko akalain na may balak pala itong umalis. Hindi ko alam saan pa hahagilapin si Ahreum.”

“Si Darren? Anong reaksiyon niya?” Palakad-lakad ako sa malawak na sala. Hindi alam paano pakakalmahin ang sarili. Pilit kong pinapalis sa isipan ang mga senaryong hindi kaaaya-aya.

“I lied. I told him his Ate is in school right now. Nasa sala ang bata at nanonood ng paborito nitong anime.”

“She is probably there, Bomi!” A spring of hope blossomed in my heart.

“It’s Sunday, Porsche. At isa pa, tinawagan ko na rin ang best friend nitong si Tiara. Wala daw silang planong magkita-kita ngayong araw. Wala siyang idea kung nasaan si Ahreum.”

I closed my eyes in frustration. God. Where are you, Ahreum?

“Please, can Darren stay with you? I will search Ahreum in her school. Magtatanong-tanong na rin ako sa ibang kakilala ng bata. Baka ay umuwi rin ito sa bahay. She probably got the spare keys.”

“Okay, beshy. Don’t worry about Darren. I’m—I’m really really, sorry, Porsche.”

Umiling ako. “Wala kang dapat ihingi ng paumanhin, Bomi. You are their second mother at alam kung hindi mo rin kagustuhan ang nangyari. I am not blaming you.”

She sighed. “I will call my brother, Zuri. Alam kong nasa Bicol ito ngayon pero gusto ko pa ring ipaalam sa kanya. Baka may nabanggit si Ahreum sa tito niya na hindi pinaalam sa atin.”

“Okay. Please do that. Wag kayong umalis diyan ni Darren at baka umuwi din si Ahreum mamaya-maya. Sa bahay naman namin ako mag-aabang sa kanya. Sana lang talaga ay nasa maayos na kalagayan ito, Bomi.”

“Ahreum can really handle herself quite well, Porsche. She probably just needs a breather.”

“I hope so.” Pero bakit kailangang umalis nang walang paalam? If she needed space and alone time, we would give her that. I wiped the tears that escaped my eyes after I ended the call.

Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga. I need to tell Matteo. Pero sa pagpihit ko patungo sa direksiyon ng kwarto, nakatayo na doon ang lalaki. He’s in his boxers. His arms were crossed over his chest. Bakas sa mukha nito ang pag-alala.

“I didn’t mean to listen to your conversation.” He said at agad na sinalubong ako para ibalot sa kanyang mainit na mga bisig. Mahgpit na yakap ang binigay nito sa akin. Agad na pumikit ako at kahit paano ay kumalma ang aking kalooban.

“Let’s get dress and find your daughter. She is probably upset about everything that happened to us. She’s now a grown-up kaya hindi na nakakapagtaka ang kaniyang aksiyon. But for anything that’s worth, she’s a good daughter. You raised her well. Malakas ang loob kong nasa maayos itong kalagayan at baka gusto lang talaga nitong mapag-isa.”

“Sana nga ay ganun nga, Matt. If something happened to her, hindi ko alam kung ano ang aking gagawin.”

“Let’s be positive, babe.” He said as he guided me back to his bedroom.

Thirty minutes later, nasa labas na kami ng school campus ni Ahreum. Katuld nang aking inaasahan, walang halos tao sa paligid. Nagpaalam kami sa security guard kung pwede ba kaming pumasok dahil hinahanap ko kako ang aking anak. Sabi naman niya ay baka nasa loob dahil may iilang estudyante ang dumating para magpraktis ng sports. Pero nakailang ikot na kami sa loob ng campus ay hindi namin nahanap si Ahreum. Ang library na sinasabi ni Ahreum na lagi niyang tinatambayan pag may free time ito ay sarado.

Pinuntahan na rin namin ang bahay ng mga kilala kong kaibigan at kaklase ni Ahreum. Pero lahat sila ay pare-pareho ng sinasabi. They didn’t know where my daughter was.

“It’s getting darker now, Porsche. I should probably get you back to home.” Si Matteo sa likod ng manibela. Kanina pa kami paikot-ikot sa kalsada. Panay ang linga ko sa labas ng bintana.

Agad na napalingon ako sa kanya na may kunot sa noo. “Matt, hindi tayo uuwi nang hindi natin nahahanap si Ahreum. It’s my fault. I should have stayed with her and talk to her more about this matter—about us.”

Matt sighed as he shook his head. “Are you gonna blame us again, Porsche? We—I didn’t mean anything harm to your kids. At kahit sa hinagap ay hindi ko hinangad na magiging ganito ang kahihinatnan. There are just things that we can’t control. Isa na diyan ang desisyon at isipan ng iyong anak. Malaki na si Ahreum. She can actually decide for herself.” He wasn’t mad. In fact, his voice was gentle.

I sighed as I slowly grabbed his hand. I intertwined our fingers on my lap. “I’m getting paranoid, Matt. Hindi ko na alam ang dapat isipin. Nag-aalala ako sa kanya. I’m her mother and I have the right to worry.”

“You have every right to feel that way, Porsche. Just don’t get overboard. Don’t stress yourself too much. If we can’t find her today, I will pull some strings and I promise you; I will do my hardest to find her the soonest possible time. Even it means searching the whole archipelago, I will do it. Kaya pumatag ka, hmm?” he pulled my hand and kissed the back of it.

Mahinang tumango ako. “Okay, Matt. I believe you and I trust you.”

“In that case, shall take you home so you can take a rest? Malay mo, pauwi na rin sa bahay si Ahreum.”

“Okay. Please take me home, Matt.”

“Alright, babe.”

**********

Matteo’s POV

“You stay here, okay?”

“Where are you going?” Tanong nito sa akin. Kakapasok lang namin sa bahay. Ramdam ko agad ang kahungkagan sa damdamin ni Porsche dahil walang bakas ni Ahreum dito. Makikita sa kanyang mga mata ang pagkadismaya at kalungkutan. If only there’s a way I could erase her worries, I would.

“I will buy as some food. Libutin ko na rin saglit ang area malapit sa campus ni Ahreum. Baka sakaling magawi doon ang bata.”

She sighed for the nth time. Her shoulders slouched in complete surrender. “Okay. You take care, okay? I will continue to call her number. Baka sakali naka-on na ang cellphone nito. Let me know na rin kung saang banda ka na. I will be waiting for you.”

“Hindi ako magtatagal.”

“Just—please, drive safely, Matteo.”

I smiled softly at her. I pulled her to my arms and dropped a kiss on her forehead. “Always.”

Habang nasa sasakyan ako, pinilit kong binalikan sa aking alaala ang mga panahong nagkukwento si Ahreum sa akin tungkol sa kanyang pamilya. And even though I didn’t like the way it felt every time she described how happy her mother was with her father when it was still alive, I didn’t show it. Maybe I could find some clues in there.

She mentioned to me one time that her father liked to drink coffee and would sometimes smoke if he was stressed from work. And that Porsche wasn’t aware about her husband’s smoking habit. That they kept it from her because they didn’t want Porsche to get angry at him. At some point, I wanted to curse that dead man out aloud. He didn’t deserve my Porsche and the kids. I wished there was a way I could tell it straight from their faces how he was such a disappointment. But at the same time, I didn’t want them to get hurt from the truth. But I didn’t have enough time….

I slammed on the breaks hard when I realized something. Napuntahan na namin ang lahat ng lugar na maaring puntahan ni Ahreum, maliban na lamang isa.

Agad kong kinabig ang manibela patungo sa lugar kung saan tiyak akong nandun nga si Ahreum. Binilisan ko ang aking pagmamaneho dahil malapit nang gumabi at hindi na rin safe sa bata kung aabutan ito doon ng dilim.

My phone rang and I knew immediately it was Porsche. I picked up the phone and instead of answering her calls, I canceled it. I typed a message for her.

I will call you back as soon as possible.

The reply was fast. Where are you, Matt? And another reply. You’re making me nervous than I already are.

I hit the reply button. Trust me, love.

Her reply and I swore I could sense her taking a deep breath. Always, Matt. Always.

Pasado ala sais ng gabi nang makarating ako sa destinasyon. This was out of instinct, and I have always trusted my instinct. I didn’t train and almost got killed during those damn years of training in the Marines if I didn’t have it.

Mabagal ko lang pinaandar ang sasakyan habang papasok sa malaking gate na iyon. Palinga-linga ako sa paligid, hoping na matagpuan ko ang gusto kong matagpuan.

I turned to the right way, and I didn’t have to go that far when I noticed someone sitting on that particular spot alone.

A sigh of relief washed over me as I stopped the engine. Maingat na bumaba ako ng sasakyan at maingat na sinarado ang pintuan upang hindi gaanong makaagaw sa kanyang atensiyon. Hindi ko kasi alam kung matutuwa o magagalit ito na nandito ako ngayon sa lugar na itinuturing niyang pribado.

Walang tunog na yabag na maririnig dahil sa Bermuda grass na aking inaapakan. Nakatalikod si Ahreum sa akin. She was sitting on the grass; her knees were pulled up and hugged them with her arms. Her face was covered with her hair dahil nakayuko ito.

She seemed so lost and broken and my heart instantly got a pang of pain just looking at her.

I stood beside her. My eyes narrowed as I read the memorial grave plaque in front of me.

In Loving Memory of

Steve Madrigal

Forever in our Hearts

We Love You

At the side of the plaque was a pack of cigarette and a cup of coffee. I couldn’t help but to smirk. Such a very considerate child you are, Ahreum.

Nakagawa ng kaluskos ang aking paggalaw kaya mabilis na inangat ni Ahreum ang kanyang mukha.

She gasped out loud and if I didn’t cover her mouth in time, she would scream bloody murder.

“Spare my ears, sweetheart.” I said, chuckling. I let go of her mouth and sat beside her.

Her mouth was still hanging though. “Matt—Matt?”

I nodded. “One and only.” I side-eyed her.

“Anong ginagawa mo dito? Paano mo nalaman na andito ako? You scared the hell out of me!”

“Wonderful. Coming from someone who spends her entire day in this cemetery all by herself.”

She made a face.

“Dadalawin mo lang pala ang Papa mo, bakit hindi ka nagpaalam man lang sa tita Bomi mo o di kaya sa Mama mo? Hindi ka naman nila pagbabawalan. We’ve been searching for you all day, Ahreum.”

She sighed. “I dreamt of my Dad last night. Hindi na ako makatulog pagkagising ko. I know I was being reckless and I’m sorry for giving you all a trouble. But the need to come here as soon as possible was too strong that I couldn’t help it. My Dad was sad, and he wanted to tell me something, but he couldn’t. Hindi ko maipaliwanag, Matt. Kaya na rin siguro hindi ko na magawang magpaalam dahil ang nasa isip ko, malungkot si Dad dahil sa nangyari. Dahil si Mommy ay may minamahal nang iba sa katauhan mo. But I regretted my decision the moment I came here. I wanted to call Mom, but my phone ran out of battery. At hindi rin ako makauwi dahil hindi sapat ang perang dala ko pambayad sa taxi. I asked for help from other people who came by to visit their loved ones, pero lahat sila tinanggihan ako. Do I look like a beggar? Probably yes. I am starving, Matt.” Ngumungusong sambit nito.

I sighed. Sometimes, I couldn’t understand the way girls think. Are they like really like this? Paiba-iba ng mood at pabago-bago ng desisyon?

“Gusto mo na bang umuwi, Ahreum?”

She nodded. “I miss my Mom.”

I smiled at her as I patted her head. “She misses you so much.”

“Matt, naikwento kita kay Daddy. Nasabi ko sa kanya kung gaano ka kabuting tao sa akin at kay Mommy. I told him it’s time that my Mom finds her happiness in other man not because she must but because she deserves it. She deserves you. Do you love my Mom, Matt?”

My eyes met hers. She was waiting for my reply. Come to think of it, I never told Porsche what I truly felt about her. I nodded with conviction. No question about it. I love her.

“Yes, I do.”

She smiled so wide. He puffy eyes almost disappear from smiling. “Great! You know what?”

“What?”

“I think my father approves of you.”

I raised my eyebrow discreetly. “What makes you think that?”

“Kasi kanina sabi ko sa kanya, send someone to help me para makauwi na ako. Then you came out of the blue, Matt! My father leaded you to here!” She was ecstatic and dreamy. Parang kahit ito ay hindi makapaniwala. “Kaya nga ganun na lang ang gulat ko nang makita kita! That you are really here! My Dad approves of you, Matt!”

I smiled as genuinely as I could. “I’m flattered. Thank you.” Tumayo ako at pinagpagan ang sarili. Sumunod din si Ahreum. “Let’s go home, Ahreum. They’re waiting for you.”

She grinned. “Can we grab something to eat along the way?”

“Of course, sweetheart.”

Sa gulat ko ay yumakap ito sa aking baywang. “Thank you, Matt.” Nilingon nito ang lapida. “We’re going home now, Dad. Don’t be sad anymore. Your family’s in good hands now.”

Pareho kaming tumalikod ni Ahreum but I was etching to do something. “Sweetheart, I dropped something there. Here’s the car key. I will follow you soon.”

Pinilig nito ang ulo. “Uhm. Okay. Hurry, please. I’m hungry.”

Mabilis ang mga hakbang na lumapit ako sa lapida. My eyes narrowed on it. My jaw clenching.

“Approval, my ass. I don’t need your approval, you son of a bitch.”

There I said it and turned my heels away from it, following Ahreum who’s now about to sit on the passenger seat of my car.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

LAWRENCE, THE HOTELIER IS NOW AVAILABLE AT SUMMIT BOOKS IN SHOPEE! HIS POVS ARE ALL INCLUDED. DON'T ,MISS THE CHANCE TO GRAB A COPY OF IT. THANK YOU.