Street Signs

Chapter 27

BRIELLE

With my heart beating rapidly, I ran in haste to Uncle Hernan's house to check on Aunt Yadora. Though the air was cold, I was sweating terribly and my hands were shaking. It was like I had been carrying heavy rocks because I was so exhausted even though I commuted going here.

"Uncle, where is Aunt?" I asked him.

"She's in the room," he answered with his face worried.

I went in a rush to the room and as soon as I entered there, Aunt Yadora who was lying in the bed was the first one to catch my eyes. I walked towards her but was not able to hug her because she was sleeping, and I didn't want to disturb her. At my back was Uncle Hernan whom I asked what exactly had happened to his wife.

"She got so stressed with the case," Uncle Hernan said. "Until now we can't find the one who stole Zayden's ashes. We don't know what to do now, especially since the police couldn't track the suspect. We can't either find it in the CCTV. We've checked it for how many times, but there is nothing suspicious. I don't know what's wrong there."

Letting out a deep sigh, I touched Aunt Yadora's head. I could see that she was so stressed with everything that was happening because even though she was asleep, she still looked tired like there was no peace at all in her. I felt pity for her, especially seeing her condition right now, I knew she wasn't just mentally and emotionally sick, but also physically.

Aunt Yadora became so thin and pale, very far from her physical wealth when her son was still alive. Her eyes were so deep and her cheekbones were obscene. She was totally different now, even her messy black hair was cut into short.

I bowed my head a little. "I'm sorry, Uncle."

"Why?" There was weakness in his voice.

"I've been so useless with this case. I didn't give much attention to this. I didn't even make myself updated to the news, it's like I didn't care at all. And now this is what happens to Aunt Yadora."

Uncle Hernan smiled at me. "I understand, Brielle. You don't need to say sorry. I also understand Sy because I am also a father like him. He just cares for you, for your mental health. You don't have to worry yourself. It's just difficult for us, especially for your Aunt Yadora, but I know this will surpass."

I thanked Uncle Hernan for understanding me. "I can't really do something about it, Uncle. Knowing my dad, I know he will really get mad when I disobey him. Though I try to do something, I just can't 'cause his eyes are all on me."

"I told you I understand what he's coming from. Even I, when Zayden was still alive, I am so strict with him because I don't want him to be harmed. But despite the ways how I protected him, he still got harmed. I can't accept it and the fact that until now, his case is still unknown yet it was closed. That guy was so kind, so I didn't expect that someone would do terrible to him. He didn't have enemies. Have you heard him being in a fight? No, right?"

I shook my head.

Zayden was the purest human I knew. He was all man, so macho and so full of empathy. It was the sexiest combination, the mark of a true alpha. Indeed, behind his pretty face was a good heart. He was just kind to everyone, and even though someone would look bad to him, he would never mind and he would never curse that person. He knew his stand in this world and every viewpoint that he had on certain things, it had sense and it was according to the moral right.

So, what was the reason for his death? What was the reason for the suspect stabbing him how many times?

Uncle Hernan sighed, holding back his tears. In his eyes, the pain could be seen and those thousands of unspoken words.

All those years, I had seen Uncle Hernan's bravery and vigor; no storm could let him down, but his son's death was an exception. Since when Zayden died, I had never seen the smile on his eyes again. I had never heard the real laughter again from him. I knew Uncle Hernan was still in great pain after months of losing one of his loved ones, and that pained me as well. Also knowing that he was now the only one who could watch over Aunt Yadora, I felt pity for him. I could say that he was doing his duty as a man, a father, and a husband to his wife.

"You can let that tear run down, Uncle," I told him, and that was when he started weeping.

It was important to consider one's emotions. Putting yourself into their shoe would help you understand why they were feeling that way. Speaking good things to them when it was obvious that they were hurting would not help at all. It was false positivism, which could hurt a person even more because he would think that what he felt was not valid and wasn't being considered.

"I'm really helping myself not to cry," Uncle Hernan said as he was wiping his tears. "I told myself I won't cry in front of people, especially in front of Yadora, because I don't want them to worry about me. I just want to prove to them that I am a man and I can handle everything that's happening right now."

"You don't have to stop yourself from crying, Uncle, just to prove that you are a man. Even a man can cry. Even that strongest man can be hurt. There is no reason to hide your real emotion, Uncle Hernan."

"I appreciate it a lot, Brielle. Actually, your Aunt Yadora also checks on me all the time, but I don't want to worry her since I knew she gets to be stressed easily."

As to what Uncle Hernan had said, Aunt Yadora was currently facing depression. So, he would always send her to the doctor and psychologist for proper treatment. He said that most of the time, Aunt Yadora was out of herself; she would also faint and get sick.

However, sometimes, Aunt Yadora could control herself. She could still manage her emotions, but most of the time, especially when she got tired, she would have a hard time again concentrating.

"I'm always telling her to rest for a while 'cause she really gets exhausted," Uncle Hernan said. "But she would always refuse to me. She would say she can manage, but at the end of the day, this is her situation.

"My emotions can feel damaged at times, and just like a physical bruise, they need time to surface and fully reveal themselves. However, I have the opportunity to mitigate, lessen, and control them throughout this period. So... I pull myself out the door for some endorphin-boosting exercise, no matter how difficult it is. It's probably a type of self-medication, but there are worse options. I suppose it's a healthy coping mechanism. During these times, I also have to care for myself because I won't be able to care for her if I am also sick."

With the look in Uncle Hernan's eyes, his love for Aunt Yadora could be seen. That even these trying times, he didn't leave her; instead, cared for her even more.

True love was a defender, a ride-or-die relationship that was there for you at all times and in all situations. It was rough, and if you need it, it would roar for you. It would remain silently with you and provide you with comfort. True love would rejoice with you and lift you up. True love would accept your misery and kiss the scars you keep hidden from the world. It was really uncommon. Keep it safe. Keep it as long as life. For real love was the greatest blessing heaven could give.

Uncle Hernan proved that.

I couldn't help myself smile a little knowing that Uncle could still care for himself even at this hardest moment of his life. But I guessed, he also needed someone to take custody of him. Nevertheless, I was glad of his sacrifices for his family.

The story of fatherhood was told in every paragraph and word, not only on the last page. It was about how love and protection, as well as enjoyment and cherishing the moments, were communicated to one another. The book would take care of itself if you do that, if you took care of the words.

"Every day I would also invite your Aunt Yadora to exercise with me because I want her to be healthy despite all the happenings. I'm helping her to move on although it's hard for me also. You know, Brielle, it's really difficult losing a child. It's like the end of my life already, but I have to be strong for Yadora. Until she's here, there's still hope for me."

I smiled as I praised him for being brave. And before I could leave, I said my prayers first to Aunt Yadora. I knew she was also sacrificing for the family because she wouldn't be like this if she was doing nothing-- it was a mother's love-- so she really needed that care.

Mothers' and women's traditional labor was the glue that would hold society together and provide the foundation for mental wellness. As a result, society crumbled into a society dominated by a financial system and obsessed with financial status, power, and vanity. As a result, properly caring for women was not only a woman's problem; it was a problem that could affect everyone. If a woman was impoverished, her children, both male and female, were also disadvantaged. If a mother was disadvantaged, her children's father and her parents, who may be called upon for assistance, were also disadvantaged. If her mental health would deteriorate and she would need to seek help, she might turn to her friends. Supporting women, particularly mothers, was the most intelligent thing we could do as a community to repair our communities and reclaim a sense of happiness and solidarity.

But in Aunt's Yadora, it was only Uncle Hernan that could give a hand to her most of the time. She could also have me and in every situation, I would be there for her. She didn't actually have many friends, and that was why she must be watched over because it was dangerous for her to be lonely. Depressed people, like her, must be treated appropriately.

Before leaving, Uncle Hernan told me that I could sleep there since it was dark already outside, but I refused. Aside from I didn't want my dad to know that I was here, I also didn't want to see Aunt Yadora in this condition because I wasn't yet in a proper condition as well to be witnessing her like this. The next time I would see her, I hoped she was doing just fine already.

When I was outside already, I was looking for a vehicle I could ride on, but there was none since it was close to one now at the outset of the day. If I would walk going back to the university, it would take me hours since it was kilometers away from me. But I would go back to the house, it would just take minutes. So, I had decided to head to the house despite the fear that my dad could catch me.

As I was walking down the street, my heart was beating not because of the fear that I was just alone, but because of the nervousness that Dad Sy would scold me again once he knew that I escaped from the camp just to go to Aunt Yadora.

It was getting cold already since I was just wearing a slipper, a round-neck T-shirt, and shorts. I hugged myself and walked as fast as I could because I couldn't bear the cold anymore. Besides, I wanted to rest now.

However, all of a sudden, I just felt warmth as if there was someone hugging me or there was a jacket being covered to me. Even though the wind was strong, I could not feel it anymore. Was I being numb only or there was a strange thing happening to me?

I stopped walking, and wandered my eyes all around the place as I felt somebody's presence being with me. I clenched my fist, seeing the shadows everywhere. I knew that behind those shadows, there was someone hiding there. Someone was with me.

Always with me.