I love you, stupid!

Seat

Arkin

Ten years ago…

“What’s with these many people in here?!”

I furrowed my brows as I sat next to my best friend.  

“Oh, you’re alive! Good morning to you too! Thank you for telling me you headed straight home without me yesterday. No, I didn’t wait for an hour like crazy at the bus stop before someone told me you went home earlier without even telling  and what more, your phone was off.”

I bit on my lower lip and gave out an apologetic smile at  Saddie.

I had already thought of that lie as an excuse for when Saddie asks me where I was yesterday.

I really did not want to lie to my best friend but I also am not ready to tell her anything just yet.

I mean, I don’t even know what the hell is going on myself so how I can I tell her anything!?!

And so, I didn’t tell her about the date and I don’t think I ever will.

Specially with what happened.

But, let’s see.

“Wait...am I really seeing people from class B in our classroom?”

I didn’t say it to change the subject but I really am seeing students from the other class and as much as I did not want to but my heart started beating abnormally I thought I was going to get a heart attack any time soon.

“Of course you are changing the subject. Nice.”

I rolled my eyes internally.

I did not need my best friend sulking at me that early.

“I am not! Okay? My apologies for standing you up yesterday, that was not my intention. And trust me when I say it would never happen again. Alright? Now, can you explain to me why are these people in our class?”

Few more people from the said class are coming in and I thought  I was going to see that person responsible for my abnormal heart beat any minute.

And I am not even sure why I was feeling that way.

Maybe because I’m just scared that he might be a tattle about what transpired last time?

“I just know that there is something you’re not telling. But okay, fine, I’m gonna let you be for now but you will tell me soon enough.”

I made a face at my best friend after I realized I spaced out for while.

My heart was still beating like crazy and my best friend with a percussive eyes beside me was not helping either.

She looked so sure of her statement I suddenly felt the chills down my spine.

I was not ready to tell her anything just yet.

“Now, to answer your question, the home room teacher of class B got a scholarship for her masters in Singapore so she will be there for a year and since it’s almost the end of the semester and our school, despite the expensive tuition, did not want to hire any more substitute then voila, class A, that’s us, and class C would be taking in some of the people from class B.”

I secretly moaned a sigh of relief when Saddie spoke.

“I hope that answers your question. God forbids you’ll be left hanging.”

Alright, she was still at me but at least she was showing signs of letting it off for a while.

I looked at her trying to look casual avoiding eye contact and a sudden surge of guilt enveloped me.

Damn!

I’m such as a cliche stupid best friend!

“Okay, fine, last time, something came up. That is true. But I can’t tell you about it just yet. Not yet. But I will, someday, you’ll just have to give me time. Okay?”

I do want to tell Saddie about what happened because I myself am still not sure why it happened or why I let it happened.

Until then, I have to keep my best friend in the dark.

“That’s more like it. That sounds more like best friendy...”

She looked at me with that knowing eyes and looked back. 

We held each other’s gaze for sometime, reassuring how we both will always be with and for each other and somehow, despite all the confusions and turmoil, my heart felt at ease until I heard that sound.

“Is this seat taken?”

I looked up to where the voice was coming from.

“No—hey!”

I didn’t meant to raise my voice a pitch.

“Arkin—”

He was smiling at me.

“FICO---Fico..”

I almost choked on my words as I inconspicuously tugged at my chest to calm my heart.

“Right. So I’m taking this seat.”

He clarified.

“You know each other?

Saddie asked and for a while I thought she was not there.

“Kind of.”

She raised an eyebrow at my quipped and I just knew I had to offer more information.

“I know him. I mean, who doesn’t? You know him. He’s from the same year after all.”

An ever higher eyebrow level was raised at me.

“Why are you suddenly so skeptical today?”

I asked her in gritted teeth since I still am not sure if I wanted Fico to hear our conversation despite him sitting less than an inches away from me.

Alright, I’m exaggerating, but his chair was closed enough to my right as I continued to try to pacify my best friend who was sitting on my left side.

“That’s because you’re being suspicious lately.

And she didn’t  get the message and didn’t even tried to lower her voice while saying that.

“I’m being what?”

I gave out an awkward laugh to which my best friend narrowed her eyes at before she pushed me aside and regarded Fico.

“So...”

She pushed me again when I tried to get in between her and our new seat mate.

“So, I’m Saddie, how did you know Arkin?”

Trust my best friend to always never know when to stop.

“He helped me out yesterday. Told you I wasn’t feeling well right? He helped me. He, Uhm, he helped me find Uhm, a, Uhm comfort room...to...you know...my stomach was upset and  I—-”

I answered despite the inconvenience of me being pushed towards the desk by my best friend.

“Alright. Alright. You don’t have to elaborate. You should have told me earlier.”

I looked at Saddie when she finally let me go and sit properly.

I was dumbfounded.

That was what I kept on telling her earlier but she never listened.

“I’m Fico.”

I noticed Fico’s laughing eyes despite him just being quiet looking at Saddie and I.

He looked amused.

“I know.”

He smiled that smile again.

“You do?”

My best friend rolled her eyes at Fico.

“Oh, please, who does not know you Mr. Basketball MVP I date the hottest genders regardless. Anyway, welcome to our class.”

Fico snickered and damn if it was not a beautiful sound wait—what?

“Thanks. But, Uhm, I’m gay, so I don’t date girls.”

I blinked at what he said.

How could he just casually say that!?!

“Uhm, are you trying to say that I’m not your type?”

Is Saddie flirting!?!

“Not really, but girls. In general. You’re really pretty though.”

Well, okay, forgive me for feeling so awkward sitting in between my best friend and the gay basketball mvp, staring and laughing at each other.

“You know what? You have such great taste. I like you. Like you enough to not want to date you. Let’s be friends.”

Saddie extended her hand for a handshake which she does not normally do.

“Sure.”

Fico smiled at her and I would not have choked on my saliva if only he did not looked and winked at me when Saddie was not looking.

What the fvck was that!?!

“Here, let me help you.”

I was blinking abnormally as I handed Fico my lemon drink. I had been trying to open it earlier but since we were just off from our PE volleyball, my hands were wet from sweat making it impossible for me to open the bottle despite how many times I tried to use a cloth to cover it.

“Tha—thanks.”

I said when he effortlessly opened the bottle and handed it back to me.

“You’re welcome.”

He said and waved goodbye.

I waved back even if I was sure he was not going to see it as he strutted cooly inside the locker room to change.

I heaved a sigh after I finished my drink.

It had been a week since I became classmates with Fico and I had no idea why the thought gave me a giddy feeling. 

I mean, I was still convinced it was because he knew of a secret of mine but every time I see him smile at me—specially at me, or in general, I could not help but feel funny.

And I don’t know what or how to think anymore.

“So, any progress with Al?”

I looked up at Fico who was sitting opposite me.

We were at the cafeteria for our lunch.

And just when Saddie excused herself to prepare for the cheering club meeting that afternoon  and left me alone the moment she finished her food, Fico sat right where my best friend was and asked if he could eat lunch with me.

I just smiled and nodded and we had that awkward silence hanging around us as we tried to finish our lunch when Fico spoke.

“I know it’s none of my business but, I don’t know what else to talk to you about and this weird silence around us is just deafening, so…?”

He shrugged before   I looked at him carried his spoon to his mouth and I caught myself swallowing   dryly and ended up biting my lower lip before I realized what I was doing what the fvck!

“I thought we agreed to never talk about that incident?”

I asked as I tried to act casually and finished off my lemon drink in one go.

“Did we? I remember you only made me promise not to tell anyone about it which I did.”

He playfully raised an eyebrow at me and I hate how it almost made me smile if only I was not quick enough to roll my eyes.

“Why, sir, you are nosy.”

I said which earned me another chuckle from him.

“No I’m not! I’m just trying to help.”

I made a face at him.

I hate how much I am enjoying this!

“Of course!”

I said as I stood up and got ready to deposit my used utensils into the washing bin.

Trying hard to pretend that I was not affected by Fico’s smiles.

“Oh, come on Arkin! You can’t possibly think I’m just being nosy after what I did to help you save your date right!?!

I turned towards Fico who was tailing behind me towards the washing area and glared at him.

“Could you be any more loud!?! Why don’t you just announce it to the whole school!?!”

He smiled at me widely before he stuck his tongue out.

“I’m sorry I’m just really excited.”

Oh, damn! Why is he so adorable!?!

“Wow!  I’m glad my predicament is entertaining you.”

I tried to look jaded as possible to mask what I truly feel at the moment and continued walking.

“Oh my God I’ve never met anyone as suspicious and pessimistic as you!”

I narrowed my eyes at him all the while he just raised his eyebrows at ne as he snatched my plate off me and deposited it to the bin himself.

“And now you are mocking me. What a development!”

I only had to tut my tongue to stop myself from smiling and turned my back at him.

“I will never win against you so how about this, just let me know if you need help or if you want to ask something you don’t want anyone else to know about. I’ll  be more than willing to help. You know where to find me. I’m usually just  on the seat next to you.”

He said as he leaned so close to my ear I literally froze.

“…and let’s  face it, in this little town of ours, what choice do you have? Or who for that matter?”

He patted me on my shoulder before he casually strutted towards the exit.

I heaved a loud sigh.

What is happening to me!?!

I looked at the retreating image of Fico and before I knew it, I swallowed my inhibitions and called out to him.

“Hey!”

I run to his side and walked along with him.

“We still have about half an hour before the class starts. How about a smoothie?”

I have no idea why I did it but talking to Fico seemed to be a good idea at the moment.

I don’t even know what to talk about, I just felt like talking.

With him.

But I was starting to have second thoughts when he was still mummed and didn’t answer.

I was about to retract my invitation when he stopped walking and faced me.

“But I’m no longer taking the blame this time, alright?”

I furrowed my brows in confusion with what he said until I realized what he meant.

He should have really forgotten that incident.

“You’re not funny.”

I heard him roared in laughter before he held me by my arm when I was about to walk out and he said something which I didn’t really thought much about but later on had been a proven fact.

“Oh, no. Trust me, I am more than everything!”