The Defiant Luna

CH 8

Nathan POV

Both Nathan and Havoc were unhappy with Jay-la’s response. Havoc didn’t want his mate ticked off, and he’d not missed Kora’s part in her words. They both believed he was going to try and lay the blame on her. It was not at all what he intended to do. Knew he was responsible for her leaving and for him not knowing about his own children.

When she pulled herself completely from his arms and walked off, he knew she was expecting it from him. He got snarled at by his own beast, in fact, for not only did Jay-lay think it, so did Kora. It appeared being mated to them didn’t seem to fix that.

He had to take a moment to make sure Havoc was calm, his beast was stalking around inside his head, very unhappy, felt him try to connect with Kora and got shut out so fast it wasn’t funny. Ticked his beast off instantly, though Havoc was only mad at himself, not his Mate, not Jay-la.

It took a full minute of his beast stalking around, swishing his tail furiously back and forth, before he sank down and stared at his Mate through Nathan’s eyes. Was unhappy, to say the least. Nathan pushed off the wall to walk over and go sit with the girls. He knew that would make Havoc happy. They both smiled up at him, and when he sat down, Lilly climbed right into his lap, and he smiled right back at her.

His hearing, however, was tuned into Nate and Jay-la, and he got to hear his son ask if they were going to live here from now on, because she was scared she’d get hurt again? His eyes moved right to his Mate and son. Pain touched both him and his beast as they realized with that one sentence. His own son believed that his father had harmed his mother. That she’d brought them here; no, they had been brought here, by strangers at that, and now had to stay here.

Heard he’d seen the news, and wondered if that meant he had seen the press conference that had gone between them. He thought she would have stopped them from seeing that. Nathan had seen the actual news that was reported on it, none of it had gone in his favour, at all. And her injured state had always been flashed up on the screen. Or here it had. He had no idea what the news had reported over there.

Jay-la answered Nate’s question, told him they could discuss it later, though it was very clear to both him and Havoc, the boy was not going to want him there in the room ‘Fix it.’ Havoc snarled at him.

Nathan didn’t actually know how to fix it, though he found her eyes right on him for a long moment, he couldn’t really read her expression, there seemed to be a mixture of emotions, he thought. It was now clear why he couldn’t connect with his son. Nate blamed him for her k********g and for her injuries, and he had the right to do so.

It had been him who’d had her brought in, even when his Beta had frowned at him, and asked him if he was sure he wanted to do that. Jackson’s way of advising him against it. Even his own father had advised him to go in person, but he’d refused to. Screwed it all up on his own. It was all his fault.

Nathan did not know how he was going to fix it, did not know how he was going to explain this to little Nate, when it was technically all his fault, it had happened while she was being brought in, at his request. His demand. He corrected himself; though she was not supposed to have been harmed at all, she had been and that was completely on him, and his method.

Not by his actual hand, but it had all occurred due to his temper.

She’d been separated from her children for well over a day, likely three full days, certainly two nights, and it had scared the children. They could well have thought she was dead, when she’d not come home that night. That they were going to be orphaned and alone without her. He was dead certain she’d never left them alone, not ever. It wasn't who she was, not with that fear for their safety.

He also knew she had been scared the whole time she had been there, inside his pack, once her home pack; now their pack. It had rolled off of her the whole time she was there. Not once did he see anything other than tears and fear, when she’d been in this office with him.

He had watched her beg for her life, bow so damn low her head had touched the floor, because she feared for her very life, for the safety of her children. Feared him, and what he was going to do to her, now he was in charge. Likely the children had felt that themselves as well.

Nathan wanted to fix it, just didn’t know how to. Would the truth make it worse and would it just make his son, and heir, fear him as his mother had? The wolfen world was very different from the world he’d grown up in.

She wanted to sit down and discuss it with Nate. Told him she would, and he wondered if it was best to just let her handle it? She was right in one thing; the children would believe her and Kora over him and Havoc. He didn’t doubt that for a second. They didn’t know him at all.

He looked at his daughters, they seemed happy and trusted him, liked him, he thought. They were always smiling at him and waving at him, happy to talk to him, and Lilly had climbed right into his lap just now without hesitation. He could only think that it was only Nate who had seen the news, either that or because their mother was calm, they were calm.

He understood somewhat that the triplets were affected by her, as others were when she was in full distress. It was likely that when her distress was in full bloom, it would affect them. But he had no real idea on what level it affected them. He knew that they had been emotionally worn out. Jackson had told him, that was why they had been separated once they’d gotten here inside the pack, to allow the children to have their emotional state stabilize, as Jay-la’s distress had been affecting them. Both he and Stephen had thought it was a good idea at the time.

Ethan was currently still working on researching Luna's powers in reverse. He had been buried in the pack library, all day yesterday and today, for that matter. Nathan hadn’t laid eyes on his Delta since he’d laid out Abbey’s punishment.

That boy did like researching anything weird that was to do with the wolfen society laws. Kind of surprised Nathan that he knew nothing about it at all. He was full of all sorts of weird wolfen facts. Would likely make a good council member one day when he was older and retired, and wanted something to do with himself.

Nathan reached out and touched Rosalie’s hair, she looked up at him and smiled, he leaned over and kissed the top of her head, did the same with Lilly and then mind-link to Jay-la ‘I’m going to give you and the children some alone time. I’ll be in my office.’ He told her softly.

‘Alright.’ She answered him.

He put Lilly down and murmured "Sorry sweetheart I have to go back to work." And then got up and walked back to his office. Still unhappy with the turn of events, he had thought he’d been going to be able to bond with the children, but it seemed not. Had ticked his Mate off and got nowhere at all with his son.

Heard Havoc snarl at him ‘you royally f****d this up.’

He didn’t really want to deal with his beasts' anger right that minute ‘I know,’ was his only reply.

‘Fix it.’

‘How?’ Nathan shot at his wolf.

Got nothing back from Havoc. It seems not even his wolf knew how to fix it. ‘It’s your fault,’ he finally snarled at him before stalking off to the back of his mind.

At least he wasn’t ripping out of him right that minute, though that wouldn’t accomplish anything at either. It would probably only create more fear. This was not something ‘Mark and Mate’ could fix, they were already marked and mated, and although she was here, and he’d thought just this morning, ticking her off would be fun and make life interesting.

Now he realized it was not going to be that at all. Yes, she had accepted him, but he’d not yet dealt with their past, and it was ingrained in her. She was not simply just going to forgive him and forget about what he’d done to them.

How they had to live out there in the human world. Alone and unprotected with three Alpha pups, she’d had to carry them, scared the whole time, birth them and then feared that one day they’d be killed by her own Luna. Raise them alone and would have been scared every single day she’d been out there. Six long years of being alone and scared for her children.

He had a lot to apologize for. He had apologized last night at dinner, but likely that wasn’t going to be enough.

Just because they were now gifted to each other, didn’t mean their bond would obliterate their past history, though he had been stupid enough to think that it would, so had his beast. That marking and mating would fix everything. It seemed he was very naïve, somewhere along the road, although he’d told Havoc more than once he didn’t think ‘Mark and Mate’ would solve all their issues. Once he had marked and mated her, he did believe it had solved everything, because she had accepted him, been happy and even blushed for him that afternoon.

It had solved nothing. Just meant that she was willing to be here. Perhaps Havoc shouldn’t have mated Kora first. Though he knew there was no way he could have stopped that even if he had tried. Which he had not. His beast had a one-tracked mind, their bond was good and strong.

There were just a lot of mistakes in the past. He’d thought it had only been one, but that one error had led to so many more issues. Ones he was responsible for and didn’t know where to start in trying to fix them either. Which one to start with? He didn’t know the answer to that.

He sat at his desk and sighed, his first Mate Bond had been so screwed up and now, it seemed, so was his second chance one. He had to find a way to fix it. He knew Havoc was right about that. He was not going to ruin this one. Not only did he not want to, he didn’t think he’d survive it, Havoc would take full control, and he’d be lost completely to his raging beast if they lost Kora and the pups.

Likely end up a half-shifted, fully crazed beast uncontainable even to his own pack, if they did survive it. That or he’d end up wolf-less, Havoc abandoning him completely, unable to deal with the loss. He didn’t even know how he’d fair on that one himself, if Jay-lay suddenly walked away from him, and rejected him.

He really did need to sit down with her, talk to her. Find out what she really wanted, he’d laid down the law with her in this office just this morning, and she’d stalked off away from him and done nothing of what he’d told her to do.

She wasn't likely about to start taking orders from him anytime soon either, he now realized. Why would she? All them years out there on her own, standing on her own two feet. She didn’t need to be told what to do, knew how to stand up for herself. Protect herself.

She might have gotten injured the day she'd been made to come here, but she had managed to kill one of them without Kora’s presence, and injure another as well. Then, still have the strength and will to get up and run away while still bound, try to escape. Then had escaped after taking on the Pack Beta and all without Kora at that. So much determination to leave and get away from him.

He'd been dishing out orders as the Alpha of the pack for years now, and he just expected his pack to fall inline. Now he realized that was what he had expected of Jay-la this morning, for her to simply fall into line. His own Luna, who was supposed to be his equal and he’d treated her like a pack member. Who he could just order around.

Why? Who the hell knew? She’d not once done anything he’d asked her to do, since the day he’d sent that first letter, to try and bring her home and back into the pack. Why would he even think that she would suddenly just say "yes Alpha" and go and do as he wanted, just because she was his Mate and Luna, she would do anything for him.

She had more authority now than ever. Could stand and stare right at him, flat out state ‘No’ to his face and just turn and walk away from him, anytime that she liked or chose to, in front of the entire pack at that. She was now, the same rank as him. Hell, he knew his mother held more power inside this pack, than his own father had. That man had caved to his Mates every whim, outside of pack attacks, alliances and the war room meetings.

Maybe talking to his father would be a good idea, a good start. He'd been happily mated for nearly 30 years now. Surely he had to have some good advice to impart, dish out and help him. He might be able to sway him into using that foresight of his to help him out. Though the man had used that with Jay-la, seen her children and then not said anything about it at all.

He’d known she wasn’t lying, but had not brought them up to Nathan once, until the day he’d banged into his office with a photo of them in his hand. He probably knew right away one of them was his grandchild, had been ticked off about it and so kept it to himself.

He'd always refused to banish her completely. Thankfully. His father had paid all her school fees and Nathan had seen the charges for the pack card now. There were childcare fees on their, a nanny was there as well, though she'd stopped using it long ago. It made him wonder if his father had left her to her own devices, or had been tracking her the whole time, knew about the children and so had supported her willingly, without saying anything at all. Though why would he leave his own grandchildren out there in the human world unprotected? That was a full curiosity.

He didn’t particularly like the fact that he was going to have to ask for help, but he also knew he was going to have to. His eyes flicked to the doorway as Stephen walked into his office. “Will she call the nanny?” Nathan asked. He was curious if it was just him she was ticked off at, it had been his unit that had brought her here.

Saw Stephen nod “Said she would, though she also said this close to Christmas, she didn’t know if Suzzy would come right away. Is big on family.”

“Did you leave men to watch over her?” it was a bit of a silly question. No wolf would leave his unmarked and un-mated Mate alone out in the world.

“Yes, the four I had on Jay-la are now discretely watching Suzzy.” He nodded “I’ll be getting updates every four hours.”

“Alright. I’m sure Jay-la can convince her.”

“If not. I want permission to go back there and date her, the human way.”

Nathan sighed “I need you here Stephen.”

“Dad can handle Jay-la, he has way more experience than I do.”

Nathan frowned at his Gamma, he understood the man's need to go and fetch his human Mate, but he was Jay-la’s Gamma and he was very effective. They’d been friends all their lives, up until she’d had to leave, had a close bond with her. Which is what Nathan believed made the man so good at his job.

He had no idea if Stephen's dad, Zac, would be as effective. He didn’t know how much he would be able to affect her, reach her, like Stephen could. Knew her and Stephen’s bond was good and strong, that childhood friendship of theirs meant they were already bonded closely. She had a lifelong connection with her Gamma. Not so much to the man's dad.

“Please wait and see the outcome of the phone call first.”

Stephen frowned at him now. “Please ask Jay-la not to forget to call today then.”

“I’ll remind her.” he nodded “Is Suzzy alright?”

“Yes, no one out there was any the wiser as to who she is to me. There are no other packs sniffing around her at all. So currently she is safe.”

“Good, we’ll bring her in as soon as we can, Stephen.”