Our Stupid Feelings

Chapter 6: Worth It All

-Jax-

I should have anticipated Kat doing something like this, but I had been feeling a bit too cocky as I left her at her apartment. I was so certain I had somehow left as the winner, but she had pushed back, sending a video of her pleasuring herself. Her body I so badly wanted to be entwined with.

Kat was going to be mine. Only mine.

There would be no sharing. No chance for her to escape. She was going to be bound to me, carry my name, bear my children. There was no in-between. No maybes. This was how it was going to be, or nothing was happening at all.

I smiled in an almost cruel way as I drove back home. The release I had experienced in the car only made me hungrier though. Damn Kat. I couldn’t help but continue to smile as I walked around in the dark house.

I had a few people working for me, but only a few. I didn’t particularly like having people running around in my house, even if it was just to do their job, but I still found it lonely to be here. Maybe I had gotten too used to being around Megan and Nathan, but I knew it was time to move on. Soon Kat would be in this house, and I wouldn’t have to feel so isolated again.

When I entered the kitchen, my housekeeper, Gina, was still cleaning the place. She smiled when she saw me, and I smiled back at her.

“I thought you wouldn’t be back until later tonight,” she pointed out.

I shrugged and took a seat at the kitchen island. Gina was the one I was most comfortable with. She was a woman my mother’s age, in her late forties, and she was just the nicest woman I had ever met. She almost treated me like one of her own sons, and she had four of them.

“Plans changed,” I explained.

“Hungry?”

“No, I already ate.”

“How did the date go?” she asked, smiling a bit teasingly at me.

I couldn’t help but chuckle a little before I groaned, running a hand through my hair. I had no idea how to answer that question..

“She is a difficult one,” I admitted.

“The good ones always are, sweetie,” she told me, winking at me, and making me feel better already.

No one knew exactly what my plans were. No one knew I was going to marry Kat before the year was over, but they knew I was chasing her.

“Any advice?” I questioned.

Gina leaned back against the counter behind her, thinking it over. She had green eyes like me, but they always had this light in them. Like the kindness I knew she had was shining through them.

“Just be yourself,” she said, making me roll my eyes.

“I tried that.”

“If you can’t be yourself, then why chase this girl?” she asked. “The point is to be accepted as who you are.”

“I am not sure who I am is a good person,” I told her.

“That is not true, and you know that,” Gina almost scolded.

“Come on, Gina. I could change.”

“We could all change,” she said. “But when I talk about being yourself, I mean the things that make you, you—your core values.”

“I didn’t catch a word,” I told her, eliciting a smile and a shake of her head.

“Could you be a little less of a smart ass? Sure.”

“Did you just call me a smart ass?” I teased, making her roll her eyes.

“But you are good, and you care about those who are important to you. Those are the things that make you, you, and you should never change that. If this girl can’t love those things about you, is she worth it?”

“Oh, Gina, she isn’t just worth it, she makes my head spin,” I admitted, making her smile so sweetly.

“Sometimes love can trick us too,” she warned.

“I know, but I also know it isn’t about me.”

Gina tilted her head a little to the side.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“She has trust issues. Not because of me, but because of things from her past. She doesn’t really believe in relationships. Too scared.”

“Sounds like someone I know,” she teased me.

“Yeah...”

“But you are already overcoming that,” she reminded me. “This girl can too.”

“I hope so.”

“Fear does strange things to us, sweetie. It makes us irrational and quick to make decisions because it feels like we need to make them right now or something horrible will happen. Give her some time to get used to you, and once she feels like she can let you in, she will.”

“She rejected me once.”

“And what does she say now?” Gina inquired.

“Well, it sounds more like she is coming up with excuses than answers,” I told her.

“See! Fear talking,” she pointed out.

I smiled. It was nice to get her encouragement and help.

“Maybe you are right,” I said.

“Well, I didn’t expect you to give up so soon!”

“I am not giving up!” I replied.

“That’s more like it,” she teased.

I chuckled. “She just surprised me a little tonight.”

“In a good way?” she asked.

I thought it over and nodded. “In a good way.”

“Then don’t let it shake you! Use it to our advantage. Show that girl what a catch you are, and once she sees it, take her over here for dinner so I can meet her!”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Maybe I could invite her over sooner than that.”

“Do it!” she insisted.

“I will see if I can’t coax her here soon, but first, I will do what you told me to. I will get her used to me again. We were apart for six months.”

“You were, and she will see you are the guy for her.”

I smiled at Gina before I told her goodnight and walked back to my room. I quickly got rid of my clothes before I went to shower, but my head was once again filled with thoughts of Kat, and our little phone talk made me hot all over. I once again grabbed my hard c*ck, quickly coming to the thought of her and what I would do to her once I put a damn ring on her finger and could call her mine.