KALEN

Chapter |8| Looking Forward

T E S S A ' S P. O. V

We decided to take a detour and delay our first date. For one, I wasn't really feeling up to anything after Kalen went down on me in the limo.

The o****m practically ruptured my brain, meaning I could barely string two words together, never mind indulge in a full conversation.

He took me home instead. We waited a little in the limo at first, me with my head on his shoulder, listening to all the beautiful murmurs he whispers into my ears.

"I can't wait to hold your hand in public. To glare at every guy who even looks your way." Alpha level possession is hot, I don't care who says otherwise.

My mom naturally interrogated me on everything that happened. She did comment I was pretty first before blasting with a huge ear full. Apparently she didn't know it was an auction...or that I was apart of it.

"It's fine, Kalen bought the date and actually there's something else I need to tell you..." Her eyes were virtually bugged out of her skull by the time I had finished.

She wasn't expecting that, and definitely not when I told explained this had gone on for a while now, that I've been in love with since I was ten.

"Tessa he groomed you."

"No he didn't mom. He actually pushed me away, he didn't want me to be with him."

"And now suddenly he does?"

"I know it doesn't make sense but just trust me when I say this is right. That I'm happy with him and he's happy with me."

Then she did the strangest thing. She hugged me. And tears...actual f*****g tears flooded from her eyes.

"I know seem harsh at times, but all I want is the best for you and tonight when you walked into the house, you were smiling brighter than I've ever seen you. I hope you're right and he is the one, because you only deserve the best."

Everything changed after that. My relationship with my mom became stronger, the connection between Kalen and I has blossomed and I even feel part of the family now. Like I've always been a Romano.

It's only my friendship with Kiara I have to solidify. But that would come tomorrow.

For now, I was getting ready for my first date with my boyfriend. Boyfriend.

That's right. We put a label on our relationship, even though we haven't even had our date.

It just felt natural, everything about us does now. Kalen blurted it out to his friend when introducing us. He didn't even realise he had said it and when he did, he glanced back at me as if seeking permission for it to be right.

I simply squeezed his hand in return and leaned into his side. Being his girlfriend is the best thing. It means I have a position in his role, that he wants me as strongly as I want him.

"Tessa he's here!" My father bellows from downstairs. I quickly run my hands through my straight hair and grab my purse before rushing down.

As usual my father has taken the protective role of interrogating Kalen. And as usual Kalen takes every question with stride, answering with such collected ease.

"...I don't want her to come home crying. Ever. If that happens, I'll be having words for you and your father."

"Of course sir, and don't worry, I won't ever let that happen." Again. I knew he wanted to add but refrained for both our sakes. Yet his eyes conveyed more truth to that statement than my father could ever knew.

I trusted Kalen now. Trusted him with things I've never trusted anyone with.

"Dad, leave him alone please. We're going to be late." I clutch Kalen's arm, leaning towards the door.

"Okay darling, have fun."

Kalen and I are practically laughing as we run out of the house, giddy with anticipation for the night to come. He grips my waist, pressing me into the car as he kisses me.

I moan softly, the heat from our bodies battling the cold of the night. "God, I missed you."

"It's only been three days." He pulls back, staring at me with such intensity, my heart clenches.

"Three days too long. I honestly don't know how to live without you Tessa."

"Nice to know I have such a strong effect on you."

"It's more than just an effect. I think I'm in deep deep trouble Tess, you've got me hooked." I gently shove him back, glad the cold counteracts my heated blush.

"Stop being cheesy, it's making me all hot."

"Good." He smirks, opening up the car door for me to slide in.

***

It's raining when we arrive at the restaurant. The downpour so heavy we're both completely soaked by the time we make it inside. Neither one of us thought to bring a jacket, and my mascara has thoroughly destroyed my makeup but somehow we're both still grinning.

"This way," The waitress directs us to the table, sending strange looks our way as we keep laughing.

In these past few weeks, I can't remember a moment I haven't spent smiling. True happiness is such a weird thing. I've become one of those annoying overly optimistic people and the only other person who shares my view is Kalen.

"This is weird. I feel like we've done the whole relationship thing backwards. We already know pretty much everything about each other."

"Not everything, I'm sure we can find some secrets to stumble on. Like...what's your favourite book?"

"You already know that." I laugh, remembering how I used to dress up as Alice in wonderland for Halloween and Kalen would be the mad hatter since I had no siblings to share the fun with.

He chuckles. "Yeah that was a bad example."

"I know one thing we haven't done yet." I hook my heel around his ankle.

His eyebrow lifts up. "Are you trying to seduce me Tessa Jones? Because its definitely working."

"Really? I haven't been brought out my six inch stilettos and black lace thong yet."

He lets out a shuddered breath, and I'm tempted to drag my foot up his leg. "You're killing me Tess?"

I lean back in my chair, satisfied. "I know something you've never told me. How did you lose your virginity?" It's only fair since he knows how I lost mine.

"Remember that cheerleader I was practically obsessed?"

"I remember. She was pretty, and I was jealous."

"Yeah, well, after a few beers, we snuck into the boys locker room and she wanted to give me a blow job. Then it just happened and it was over pretty fast too, I'm embarrassed to admit. She was 17, I was 15. Looking back, I regret it but I remember thinking how cool I was for f*****g an older girl." He sighs. "I was such an idiot."

"Hey, we've all made mistakes. I'm not exactly innocent either, but you can't keep punishing yourself for them."

"I'll always be sorry for how I treated you."

"I know. And I've accepted your apology, but we can move on until you let us."

I reach across the table to hold his hand. He hesitates for a moment but squeezes it tight in reassurance. It's so weird being in a grown up relationship.

You can just say what you want, talk it out, instead of letting everything unsaid just boil over.

"My dad asked me where I was going earlier. I told him the truth. I had to, I just...I couldn't lie about how I feel anymore. I'm in this, completely, and I want other people to know that you're f*****g mine."

"And you're mine." The feminist in my adds.

He grins. "I love that title. I love being yours."

"I think I'm ready to tell Kiara. It has to be me though." He nods in understanding. Even though she's his sister, Kiara is my person.

That one individual you could go to everything for. I guess Kalen is slowly becoming a version of that for me too, but Kiara has been the most important person in my life for so long it hard to accept someone new in the dynamic .

"Tell me about the future."

"The future?" Now this was one thing we definitely haven't discussed.

"Yeah, I wanna know everything. Job, house, kids?" His eyes sparkle at the mention and I flush.

Of course, I want to have kids with Kalen. It's only been my fantasy since I was 12, and slowly it's becoming real.

I think that's the most terrifying thing. You can dream it, think it, desire it but the moment a stone is thrown into the stepping pond as the first leap forward towards that fantasy, you're frozen.

"Tess?" Oh right.

"Uh...i would want to be an artist at college. Display work at fundraisers and small shows but I don't think I would ever pursuit it fully. It would become a chore for me then and to taint my passion with long hours and the need for money and desperation to sell something, would just destroy that. I want to teach my skills to others, shape future artists. Maybe inspire someone along the way?"

"And then?"

"Then, a house. I have to have the money to buy one myself fully first. To furnish it, to pay the bills and have that independence. Then comes marriage. I want to be married, someday, but not now, and I want kids...maybe two or three. Two boys, one girl and then I guess just live happily every after."

"Sounds simple but in my experience it's hard to achieve such domestic dreams nowadays."

"Because the divorce rate it higher than ever."

"Or because people lose faith to easily. One fight, one word and it can destroy a family. My parents almost divorced once. Did you know that?"

I immediately shake my head. Ryder and Gabi Romano are like New York heart throbs. I've never even seen them fight, not badly, and Kiara does nothing but rave how her parents set up unreachable standards of love.

"When I was about ten or eleven, my dad almost died. He was shot three times, he suffered internal bleeding, he had a concussion, a broken leg, dislocated shoulder...it was a job gone wrong. My mom was a wreck, I just remember her crying all the time. When he woke up and he recovered, she begged him not to go back. She told him we have enough money, she wanted to move away, to live anywhere but here and he wouldn't. He couldn't because to him, his job, was more than just a profession it was his family too. He was raised to be in charge of an empire, and my family will always be ingrained in that. They fought about so much, my mom almost left him. She would have taken us with her too. Yet, somehow he convinced her to stay. They compromised obviously because my my dad started working less and he moved away from the dangerous side of everything to focus on the business. Yet still, I don't want a marriage like that. I see a future with you Tessa but I need to know if you're willing to accept it all, knowing the risks it has."

He meant the murder, the drugs, the danger, the enemies. Kiara had told me so much about it all, yet I know if ever see Kalen in hospital, as badly beaten up as his father was, I would want him to leave too.

"I accept your family, I accept what they do and what they have to do but...I don't know if I could watch you suffer because of it. I don't know if I could stay if it hurt you. I'm saying yes, but that could change."

Kalen offers up a smile and reaches over to hold my hand. "Thank you,"

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A/N: Thoughts on their first date??