KALEN

Chapter |9| Giving In

K A L E N 'S P. O. V

Tessa is in my room. She's lounging across my bed, her study notes sprawled all across the comforter, a pencil jammed into the mess of hair piled on top of her head.

I want to frame this exact moment. To never forget how of full of warmth I am in this moment.

It's so natural for her to be here within my own environment. Like she was crafted specifically to fit with me.

I keep staring at her from my desk chair, even though she has told me a hundred times to stop.

Again, she feels her eyes on me and stirs, grounding me back down to reality. "Kalen seriously, stop!"

"You're just beautiful."

"No!" She cried, burrowing her face beneath the covers. I move towards, prying them away so I can see her flushed face.

"Why are you so embarrassed?" I laugh quietly.

"I'm just not used to it okay. I'm not used to guys saying things like that to me."

"We'll get used to it, because you are beautiful and I'll never stop reminding you." Her cheeks flame again but there's a smile hidden within.

"I'm so happy with you." She murmurs, burrowing into my chest. I wrap my arms around her small frame, kissing her head softly.

"Me too."

"I'm gonna grab us some drinks." I reluctantly let my hold loosen so she can slip out. It's a strange devoid coldness that fills the room after she leaves, like she's my sunshine, the only thing capable of keeping the darkness at bay.

That darkness being my job. My legacy.

I hate what I do. I hate that I can't tell anyone that because if means hurting someone I love. The mafia can be a scary place, I admit sometimes I'm terrified of what the day will bring. Yet in some ways it's also home. I laugh with the men I call family, I bond with them, I work to protect them and my family.

It's job to both fear and care about.

In my span of boredom without my girlfriend, I reach over to look through her notebook. I hate seeing her stressed, so if I know what she struggles with then maybe I can look some of this up and help her out.

I see a lot of math work. A lot of frustrated scribbles and crosses. Then I come across her drawings, funny little caricatures from in-between bored study sessions. I smile at them, laugh even as some have dialogue.

The smile fades though as I come across a college letter. Colorado. Then another. California. And another. Oregon.

All at least four hour plane rides away. All meaning she'll have to leave.

The door is pushed open with sudden bang. I quickly move to stuff the letters back in the notebook but my lack of dexterity causes them to crumple and crease as I jam them in.

"What...." The light in her voice fades as she nears me.

I watch her set down the drinks on my desk before snatching the notebook away like I had just assaulted it.

"What the hell were you doing?" It's the accusation in her tone that sparks anger.

"What are you doing? Why did I find so many college letters in there?" Why are they so far away?

"Because I'm a senior and that's my next step in life. God Kalen, you're really lecturing me when you were invading my privacy right in front of my face."

"I wasn't..." s**t. "Okay, I admit I was snooping but I was trying to see what you needed help with."

"Help? Now I'm stupid and need my boyfriend to fill in the gaps and save the day."

"I just meant I wanted to see if I could help which I can, math actually is a strong suit of mine."

"Good for you, but if I wanted your help I would have asked."

I pause whilst she angrily storms around my room stuffing her belongings into her bag. "Were you ever going to tell me about the colleges?"

"It's a personal decision."

"I'm your boyfriend. You're supposed to share these kind of things with me." I reply flatly. Her constant shuffling and the way she ignores me causes my irritation to flare.

"Tessa!" She freezes, staring at me with the kind of look that will never leave my brain. She's scared. I don't want her to ever fear me, but I've always had an anger I've never been able to escape.

"I'm sorry." I murmur, tearing my gaze from hers. I'm ashamed. So f*****g ashamed I've just hurt her.

"It's okay." Her gentle voice attempts to soothe.

"It's not."

"Kalen," Her body is suddenly sidled against mine, and she tentatively wraps her arm around me.

I feel the warmth of her breath as she brushes a kiss on my collar. My own turn softer, my body melting beneath her touch.

"I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry."

"I know. We both just got a little too heated, that's all. It doesn't mean anything..." I see the insecurity in her eyes too.

"Tessa no, people in relationships have fights. It's normal and if they don't, then frankly that's f*****g weird. They make up and then have incredible sex."

Her eyes flare with desire now as a raspy laugh leaves her throat. "Does this mean we get to have s*x now?"

This is foreign territory. For both of us. We've breached the line but never gone over, no matter how much both of us want it.

Instead, I brush back her hair. "We haven't finished making up yet."

"What's left?"

My humour dies down as I ask the question again. "Were you going to tell me about college?

"Yes, eventually I swear. I haven't told anyone what I've been looking at, not even Kiara."

"I guess I just assumed you would stay here in New York." With me, but I know there are also a million factors that would influence her decision too.

"I love you Kalen, and staying here would be amazing. I know it would, but I can't help but wonder what else is out for me. The opportunities, the different programmes, the mentors. If I'm going to college, it's for me, not for my boyfriend or my parents or even my best friend. The only person that matters is me."

My palms settle on her cheeks. "Tessa, I know. Believe me, I want you to do everything you want to do, but I just I need you to tell me along the way. To let me support you."

If she wants to go somehow an hour way, four, hell even another country to follow her aspirations, then I would be there too.

"Wait. What does that mean?"

"It means I want to come with you. I'll follow you anywhere Tess."

"What about your job? Your dad?"

"He'll understand and it's just a job. I deserve some vacation days anyway."

"More like vacation years." She laughs, but tears begin to well up in her eyes. I catch one before it falls. "No-one has ever loved me the way you do."

I understand the feeling. It's overwhelming knowing someone loves you for your soul, not just physicality. Tessa has open up doors I've never even considered for the future.

"When I said I was all in, I meant it." My lips brush hers, the gentle touch igniting the desire we've both suppressed for so long.

"Kalen," She whimpers, fingers slipping under my shirt, clawing at the fabric like it physically hurts her.

"I know baby, I know." I help her drag it off me. Then we work on my pants together, my boxers shed.

Her nails scrape my scalp as she kisses me. I sweep her onto my lap, her bare legs settling around my waist. My c**k hardens between at just the brush of her leg against it. Her lips turn up into a wicked smile, as she reaches down to grip me.

A groan unleashes, deepening our kiss. She has the softest nature I've ever felt. Her fingers practically dance along my c**k, strumming nerves in ways I've never experienced.

"Tess, fuck." She's in control. I don't know how the roles reversed but they did. My mind is racing with tempered desire, because I don't even think she knows it yet.

"Are you going to c*m?" f**k.

I swallow hard. "No." My teeth grit down, knowing there's no way to hold back now.

"Oh really," No, she definitely knows she's in charge. She jerks me a few times, her thumb running over the tip and I exploded, all over her new dress.

Shit. "Tess I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"It's okay, it gives me an excuse to do this anyways." She rips off the dress, chucking them material aside.

I'm transfixed by her nudity. The striking nature of her flawless skin and slim curves. Her rosy n*****s peaked and flamed for me.

I lean in with the intention of getting her off.

Tessa has the strongest n****e sensitivity I've ever seen. I've always wanted to see if I could make her c*m just by sucking on them.

Her hand suddenly pressed against my forehead. "No." I must look like an i***t, eyes wide with desire fixed on her breasts with my tongue practically wagging out.

"I'm in charge this time Kalen."

"Tessa I want to spend five minutes sucking those cherry n*****s until you burst. Then I'm going to throw up on this bed, and f**k you until you're screaming my name so loud, everyone thinks you're f*****g possessed."

Her breaths become heavier, her chest oscillating. I know she wants it, even if she's telling herself she doesn't. "You can suck on my n*****s, but today Kalen Romano I'm on top."

That's fine. I can still f**k her brains out whilst she rides me.

Smirking, I lower my head fully, her hands letting go and gripping my hair instead. She moans the moment I touch the small bud, her body jerking against me.

I wait for her body to relax against me. Her body stops arching and she sighs, shoving her tit into my mouth. My mouth latches on like a starved baby, edging the line between pleasure and pain.

I let my teeth graze the delicate skin, hard enough to make her wince but not enough to draw blood. With my right hand, I palm her other breast, tugging on the rose n****e until it turns red.

"More," I shift her a little underneath me, until her bare cunt rubs against my thigh. Her hips sway slowly, grinding to seek her own pleasure, whilst I switch to her other breast.

I can hear the rhythm of her heart beat faster and faster as she faces towards the inevitable c****x. "Don't stop. Don't stop."

Her pleas become somewhat desperate, the dominance she possessed before slipping slowly away. I know she's had a complicated relationship with s*x before. The guy before me didn't treasure her for everything she is. He only saw the parts her wanted, ignoring her intelligence, her compassion, her needs.

I want all of her, and I want her pleasure as part of that.

"I would never stop Tess," I murmured, my tongue tracing her areola before I tug hard on the bud.

She explodes on top of me. Her body still riding my thigh as my fingers clamp down on her n*****s. I fall back on the bed, grinning as her clammy body writhes like an electrocuted fish.

"f**k me." She groans.

"Gladly." My c**k is practically aching, knowing what thrust up and I'll be inside of her.

"Wait," Somehow she finds the strength to push up on my chest, resting her palms over my heart. She recovers quickly, still panting as she flashes me a grin. "I'm still in charge."

I rest my arms behind my head. "I'm not stopping you."

Her wicked smile disappears as she bows her head to kiss my neck, then my chest, my heart, my pelvis...oh f**k. She sinks down onto my c**k, her chest heaving, as she struggles to stay upright.

"God, you're so big." I struggle to respond, my mouth flying open like a gaping fish as I struggle not to burst inside of her already. "I can't..." She's about to submit, to roll over and let me take her anyway she wants.

I won't let her. I clamp down on her waist, holding her in place. She stares down at me like I'm crazy, shifting restlessly whilst my c**k is stuffed half inside of her.

"I'm not saying we can't have s*x. I just can't be on top."

"Why? You want too." She falls quiet. "Tessa, I want you to have everything you want in life. I know this isn't the perfect example of that but you wanted to f**k me, you wanted our first time together to be with you on top, and I will give you that. I will help you, just ask."

"Help me Kalen," I lift my legs onto the bed, bending them at the knees. My hips thrust up slightly, and she gasped softly as her ease her down fully.

"Take control baby, I'll help." Her hands find my chest again. She rises and falls with hesitation at first. I let my hands wander her body, squeezing her breasts, grabbing her ass.

"You're incredible Tessa. So f*****g beautiful."

My compliments spur her on and she starts f*****g me with confidence.

Her head flies back, rising up to grab her own breasts, whilst I watch her in awe. I'm so f*****g in love with this girl. She f*****g obsessed.

"Kale oh..." I f**k her with equal vigour, and it's not long before we both unravel in each other's arms.

When we're finished, she lies on my chest, the two of us completely spent. "Do you think it'll always be this good?"

I contemplate her words, knowing I would never want to give her a false promise. "I really f*****g hope so, Tess."

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A/N: Ahh!! Hope it was steamy enough for you guys! ?

What do you think is coming our next?