Four by Forever

Chapter 12: Forgiveness Takes Courage

Mitchelle/Sunny’s POV

“Maybe we could sing it?” she proposed.

“Ohhh…Lemme see it.” I gestured at the paper on her other side. She hesitantly took the paper which I realized to be a music score sheet but handed it nonetheless.

I scanned the lyrics which already has some notes on it. The whole time I was checking her work she is looking at me nervously and expectantly, waiting for any reaction. When I looked up I saw too much wariness and anxiety in her eyes like she thinks I might make fun of her work or trample it. Too much insecurity. My heart ached to this girl after reading her lyrics which may be relating to how she feels and the way she looks right now.

“It’s actually amazing, you wrote it by yourself?” I was surprised really. I thought she would prefer loud and rock and roll type of music but Ari is right. Her writing and composing skills are good, no doubt.

Despite being with her for a few years in the band, I never knew her like this. I should pay more attention to my surroundings.

“Yeah. I was thinking maybe I could let you listen to it and we could sing this on the festival?” She sounded unsure of herself with a shy smile ghosting her lips.

“Okay. Let’s hear you sing it.” I encouraged.

Still a little embarrassed, Bree finished singing it till the end. I was dumbfounded and speechless. I was silent for so long that she have thought she messed up.

“I know it’s not that good and if you really didn’t like my voice, instead of doing a duet with me you can sing it solo or with Jackson. I just - ” She rambled with worry. “I just want to convey this to someone.” She sounded defeated as she hung her head.

“Are you kidding me?! This is wonderful! We’’’ definitely sing this together.” I beamed at the shy girl. I held both her hands in mine to show how sincerely happy I am to do this with her.

For a moment, she looked at me like she can’t believe it but then she smiled back and nod. 

How could she have so little confidence in her when she is this talented? I couldn’t imagine.

She could even pass as a main vocalist. Then I remembered the lyrics, the words and the way she sang it. She said she wanted to say it to someone , I get curious I couldn’t help but ask.

“If you don’t mind me asking. The song, to whom was it for?”

She seemed to be debating whether to tell me or not. After a few minutes of silence I decided it might be a sensitive and hard topic for her to open up.

“It’s okay if you don - ” I started saying when…

“It is for a friend . . . that I lost a long time ago. Say, Sunny if someone you trusted so much betrayed you, left you and then later on came back as if nothing happened what would you do? Would you take them back, knowing they broke you?”

I tried to process what Breana was asking. Is she referring to Alex? She is waiting for my response so I had to remove Alex in my line of thoughts.

“Hmm…did you ask them why? Why did they do it? Was there any excuse?”

She pondered for a while, finding a way to answer without revealing too much details. “Let’s say they’re childish before. Reckless and not thinking twice before doing somethings or most.”

“Oh. Did they ask for forgiveness though?” I had to thread carefully on the matter, not to mention this is the first time Breana was opening up to me something personal to her. Whatever she was talking took a great deal on her as a person. I imagine myself being betrayed by Jackson and I think I might not survive it, if I will there would be a great part of me that will be lost.

“Yeah but – will it be enough? How about the damage they’ve inflicted? Am I just supposed to forget it?” She is conflicted, I observed. She already knows the answer to her questions but is still wavering on making one.

“I guess it’s up to you then. How much is enough for you? Do you want to inflict the same damage? I guess not because I know you’re not like that Bree. But try to think of this: Are they still childish? The person who hurt you. Or are they trying to make it up to you? Apology is always given and accepted. Forgiveness relies on the person.”

I gave her time to process as our conversation stretched with silence then I continued giving her a piece of my mind. “How I just wished it didn’t turn up like that? If only…if only…” She mumbles.

“You know Bree, we can’t change the past. Despite how it may have affected us before, we still have to move on or else we’ll stay stuck in there forever. To not live in the present and experience these wonderful things nor anticipate the future, that’s what keeps us from being happy. Whatever you’re going through right now, I’m here and I’m happy you decided to open up to me and asked me to do this amazing song with you.”

She stared at me with a renewed radiance glowing in her eyes. A passion starting to grow ablaze. The courage to try.

“Thank you, Mitchelle. Actually, I admire your leadership and not just that. It’s because you seem to care as well. I’m just shy to do these things, opening up and asking for help but I guess I had to change as well. You’re right. If I let this get on me, I’ll lose and I’m not letting that happen anymore. I want to be stronger, for myself. Let’s do this!” The younger one exclaimed. This time with conviction and determination.