In Love with my room-mate

Exes, now Roommates?

“Jay you have to leave!”

“No way, I got here before you did. You leave if you want.” He says.

“You want me to leave?” I ask while pointing at my chest.

“Yes Emma, you are the one who seems to have a problem with living here.”

“What!! Jay we can’t live together.”

“Why not? Because we dated and things didn’t go as planned?” he asks, and I stay quiet.

I don’t want to live under the same roof with him, he broke my heart, and I don’t want to be anyway near him.

“I have paid up for the rest of the year, do whatever you want. I am not moving out.” With that said, he returns inside his room and then shuts the door in my face. A few seconds after, the music continues playing.

Shit!!!!!!!!

I can't believe this. Of all the people in the word, why Jay of all people should be my roommate for the next school year. How did this even happen? It feels like a cruel twist of fate. I thought we were finally moving on from each other, but now we are going to be living under the same roof.

It's not that I hate Jay or anything. We ended things amicably, but there are still lingering feelings and unresolved emotions. Being around him, is going to be a constant reminder of what we had and what I lost.

I remember that day like it was yesterday, the day Jay and I broke up over a year ago. We were sitting in our favourite coffee shop, laughing, and enjoying each other's company, just like we always did. We were happy, or so I thought.

And then, in a moment of thoughtlessness, I said something that changed everything. I mentioned how I had imagined how life would have turned out if I had ended up with Dylan instead. Dylan, Jay's friend whom I had left Jay for during our sophomore year. It was a careless slip of the tongue, but the impact was immediate.

Jay's expression shifted from joy to hurt and confusion. I could see the pain in his eyes, and it broke my heart. I didn't mean to hurt him, but the damage was done. I had reopened wounds that hadn't fully healed.

You see, Jay and I had a great relationship in the beginning. We were secretly dating during our sophomore year, keeping it under wraps from our friends. But then, I allowed myself to be swayed by the allure of Dylan, who was charming and charismatic. I thought he was the one for me, and I left Jay for him.

For a year, I was with Dylan, but things didn't turn out the way I had hoped. He became famous with the ladies, and I couldn't handle the constant attention he received. It was overwhelming and suffocating. Eventually, I realized that our relationship was superficial and based on his newfound popularity rather than genuine connection.

To make matters worse, a year later Dylan started dating Abby, one of my friends. It felt like a betrayal on multiple levels. I had lost Jay, and now Dylan was with someone close to me. It was a painful reminder of my own mistakes and the hurt I had caused.

Jay was kind enough to still talk to me and we somewhat secretly hooked up. Jay was ready to give me another chance, but I didn’t want anyone to know that Jay and I were involved.

Now, looking back, I can see how foolish I was. I let my own insecurities and desires cloud my judgment. I hurt Jay deeply, and I regretted it every day since. I wish I had cherished what we had and not been swayed by temporary infatuations.

But life has a funny way of teaching us lessons. And now, here we are, about to embark on a new chapter as roommates. The past still haunts me, but I know I need to face it head-on. Maybe, just maybe, this is an opportunity for redemption and healing. Only time will tell.

I need air.

I can’t stay here right now.

***

I take a deep breath as I dial Abby and Liv's numbers on FaceTime. The screen flickers to life, and there they are, my two best friends, with their warm smiles greeting me.

"Hey, Emma! It's so good to see you," Abby says, her voice filled with excitement. I have not seen Abby since Rosie’s birthday.

"Hey, Emma! What's up?" Liv chimes in, her curious eyes fixed on the screen.

I return their smiles, but my own feels forced, hiding the nervousness that has taken hold of me. I know I must tell them the news, even though the thought alone makes me cringe.

"Guys, I have something...interesting to share," I begin tentatively, my voice trembling slightly. "You won't believe this, but Jay is going to be my roommate for the next year."

Abby's eyes widen, and Liv's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. It's exactly the reaction I expected.

"What? Are you serious?" Abby exclaims, disbelief written all over her face.

"Yeah, I know, it's insane," I reply, my voice tinged with resignation.

“How did this happen?” Liv asks.

“Well, he happens to be the roommate I had no idea about. Everything is just so messed up and we have already argued on the first day.” I sigh.

“Can you raise the issue with the landlord?” Abby asks.

“That will be pointless. I read the lease agreement again and noticed that the apartment I am renting is free for all, it does not exclude or differential male or female.”

“That sucks, would have been better to know that beforehand.” Liv adds.

“So what’s the plan now?” Abby’s facial expression is written concern all over.

"Neither of us wants to move out, so I guess we will both have to learn to share the apartment. But honestly, I am dreading it. It's going to be the most awkward living situation." I say.

Liv's concerned gaze reflects her worry. "Emma, are you sure about this? Living with your ex sounds like a recipe for disaster."

"I know, Liv," I sigh, a mix of anxiety and resignation flooding my voice. "Trust me, I have thought about it a million times. But I really love this apartment, and I don't want to give it up just because of this. Besides, Jay doesn't want to move out either."

Abby shakes her head slowly, her voice filled with empathy. "Emma, this is going to be challenging. Living with someone you used to have feelings for, someone you shared intimate moments with... It's not going to be easy."

I nod, my heart heavy with the weight of the truth in her words. "I know, Abby. I am fully aware of how awkward and uncomfortable it's going to be. But what other choice do I have? I can't change the past, but I can try to make the best of this situation."

Liv leans closer to the screen, her eyes brimming with concern. "Just promise us one thing, Emma. Promise that you will take care of yourself throughout all of this. Your emotional well-being comes first. Jay moved on and is now dating……what’s that girl’s name again?"

“Camila….” Abby says her name with a tint of despair.

Touched by their unwavering support, a small smile tugs at the corners of my lips. "Thank you, both of you. I promise I will prioritize myself and do whatever it takes to navigate this living arrangement with Jay. It won't be easy, but I am hoping we can find a way to coexist peacefully."

Abby and Liv exchange a knowing glance, their expressions filled with love and encouragement. "We believe in you, Emma. You are strong, and we are here for you every step of the way," Abby assures me, her voice filled with warmth.

I take a deep breath, feeling a renewed sense of determination. With my friends by my side, I know I can face this challenge head-on. It's not going to be easy, but perhaps, just perhaps, this unexpected living situation will teach me valuable lessons about forgiveness, growth, and finding peace amidst the awkwardness.

And now I must return to this now dreadful apartment, for the first night under the same roof with my ex!