In Love with my room-mate

Over stepping

I have had a hectic first week of school. My classes are more demanding and exhausting compared to the last year. As I step into the apartment, all I can think about is taking a bath, ordering some food, and unwinding in front of the TV. But my plans take an unexpected turn when I see four unfamiliar faces in the living room.

Confusion washes over me, and I try to process what's happening. Who are these girls, and why are they in our shared apartment? I don't recall Jay mentioning anything about having friends over. My tired mind struggles to make sense of the situation.

Summoning my courage, I cautiously approach the group and greet them, "Hi," I say tentatively, "Can I help you with something?"

One of the girls, a bubbly redhead named Sarah, smiles warmly at me and identifies me as Emma. She introduces herself and her friends, Mia, Lily, and Grace, explaining that they are friends of Camila and were invited over for a hangout before the weekend.

"Oh, okay," I respond, trying to hide my unease. "And where is Camila?" I inquire.

“She has gone to the store with Janice,” one of the other girls responds.

I nod, trying to process this new piece of information. After a moment, I decide to retreat to my room to collect my thoughts and process the situation.

Mia, who seems friendly and considerate, apologizes for catching me off guard. She mentions that Jay said I might be out for the afternoon and assures me they won't intrude too much. They even extend an invitation to join them, but I decline, feeling the need for some quiet time after such a long and exhausting day.

"Thank you for the offer," I say politely, "but I really just want a peaceful evening. It's been quite draining, and I need to unwind."

Lily, who appears to be the quietest of the group, understands and assures me they'll keep the noise down. Feeling slightly reassured, I head to my room to drop off my bag and take a moment to gather myself.

After a few minutes, I return to the living room, noticing that they've made themselves at home on the couch, chatting away happily. Grace, with her infectious laughter, spots me and pats the empty spot next to her, inviting me to join them.

I give her a polite smile and nod, but deep down, I'm frustrated. This is not what I had planned for my evening. I'm exhausted, and all I want is to rest and relax without unexpected guests in the apartment. While I don't mind Jay having friends or his girlfriend Camila over, it's a different story when their friends start inviting more people into our shared space without any prior notice.

Feeling a mix of annoyance and exhaustion, I decide to stay in my room, I can't shake off the feeling that Jay needs to be more considerate about our shared living arrangements. This situation feels like a breach of boundaries, and I will need to address it with him to ensure it doesn't happen again.

***

After a while, I hear the front door open, and I know that Jay has returned home. I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves, and decide that it's best to talk to him about what happened not in front of his girlfriend and her friends.

As much as I want to just forget about the whole thing and move on, I can't ignore the fact that this is becoming a pattern. Jay needs to know how I feel about the situation. On Monday I found Camila in the kitchen cooking them dinner. On Wednesday I was disturbed from a nap from the loud bashing and crushing noise from his video games with his friends and today Camila’s friends? Nah this has got to stop.

I hear footsteps approaching my room after a few steps, and a soft knock on the door follows.

"Emma? It's me, Jay. Can I come in?" he asks gently.

I take a moment to compose my thoughts before responding, "Sure, come in."

Jay enters my room, looking apologetic. "Hey, I am really sorry about earlier. I should have let you know that Camila invited some friends over. I thought you were going to be out for the afternoon, and I didn't realize it would be a problem."

I take a deep breath, trying to be understanding but also firm in expressing my feelings. "It's not just about today, Jay. This has been happening whole week. I am not against you having friends or Camila over, but when Camila starts inviting her own friends and the apartment becomes a hangout spot without any notice, it feels like our shared space is being taken for granted."

Jay looks thoughtful, his apologetic expression deepening. "I didn't realize it was bothering you so much. I guess I just assumed since we are friends, it wouldn't be a big deal."

What did he say?

I shake my head gently. "It's not about being friends, it's about respecting each other's boundaries and understanding that this is a shared space, not just yours or mine. We both need to feel comfortable here."

He nods slowly, seemingly processing my words. "You're right, Emma. I should have been more considerate, and I am sorry for not communicating better. I will talk to Camila and make sure we are both on the same page about guests in the future."

“Wait is Camila part of the living arrangement here or is she your girlfriend who will occasionally visit?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” his tone changes.

“You keep mentioning to have a word with her. I thought this is our place not you, me and Camila.” I explain.

“Emma look, I came here to apologize because the girls mentioned how comfortable you seemed and I am sorry about that, but I will not ask my girlfriend not to visit when she wants too or come see me when she is with her friends. You must understand that even when you start dating someone that person will spend a lot of time around here.”

I appreciate his apology, but I want to make sure we are clear on the issue. "It's not just about Camila. It's about anyone, including your friends. We need to establish some ground rules and have open communication about these things. And yes when I start seeing someone, they too will know that this ain’t my place alone. We need to respect each other!"

Jay nods, his expression changing to a much calmer one, "You're right. I will make sure to communicate better with you in the future and be more mindful of our shared space."

I feel a sense of relief that he is taking my concerns seriously. "Thank you. I want us to have a comfortable living environment together. Let's make an effort to be considerate of each other's needs."

He gives me a half smile, "Absolutely, Emma. I promise to do better."

With our conversation concluded, I can sense that Jay truly understands where I am coming from. We both agree that open communication is crucial, and I am hopeful that things will improve.

I hope that girlfriend of his gets the memo.