In Love with my room-mate

Possible Reconnection

I sprawled out on the couch, phone in hand, ready to recount the day's unexpected turn of events to my best friends, Liv and Abby. The screen illuminated my face, capturing the excitement that still lingered from the day spent with Jay.

"Hey, Liv! Abby! You won't believe what happened today," I begin, my voice tinged with a mix of enthusiasm and wonder. Abby teases me right away, making Liv chuckle and causing me to roll my eyes in mock exasperation.

“Tell us about it,” Liv prompts, her curiosity evident in her voice.

"So, Jay and I ended up spending the whole day together," I continue, a smile playing on my lips.

Liv's voice crackles through the phone speaker, filled with intrigue. "Really? What happened? Did you guys have some sort of accidental bonding moment?"

I can't help but chuckle in response. "Kind of! I found myself in the kitchen attempting to make breakfast, which, as you can probably guess, turned out to be a disaster as always."

Both Liv and Abby chuckle, their familiarity with my culinary struggles evident.

“I don’t even know why you try,” Liv shakes her head with a laugh.

“I thought you would have learned something by now,” Abby chimes in, her tone teasing.

I playfully sigh, shaking my head. "I know, right? But here's the surprising part. Jay walked in, saw my culinary catastrophe, and actually decided to help. He taught me a few tricks on how to make the perfect toast and scrambled eggs."

I am met with a chorus of shocked faces on the screen. The disbelief is palpable through the video call.

"Wait, Jay was in the kitchen teaching you how to cook?" Liv's incredulous voice breaks the silence.

I nod, still amazed by the turn of events. "Yeah, I know, it's kind of surreal. He was so patient and genuinely helpful. And you won't believe it, the eggs actually turned-out edible!"

Abby's laughter rings out. "Wow, I never thought I would see the day of you two doing anything together."

"Right?" I agree, laughing along. "It's like a whole new world."

Liv's curiosity gets the best of her. "So, how did the rest of the day go?"

I lean back against my pillows, a contented smile on my face. "Well, after our little cooking adventure, we ended up playing video games together. It was...unexpectedly fun."

Abby raises an eyebrow playfully. "Video games? You mean, like, gaming with Jay?"

“After taking a shower after breakfast, I found his game paused and decided to give it a shot.” I start explaining.

“How did you even find yourself doing this?” Liv asks.

“Well…”

“Dylan taught her.” Abby blurts out. “He mentioned it to me.”

“Oookaaayyy.” Liv says in disbelief.

“Correct. Anyway, Jay caught me playing and we laughed about it and then we started playing together. It was like... I don't know, Liv, there was this shift in our dynamic."

Abby's voice joined the conversation, her tone teasing. "Ooh, do tell! What kind of shift are we talking about here?"

"Well," I continued, "his whole demeanour changed. He was so relaxed and enthusiastic about the game, and he was genuinely enjoying talking to me about it. It was like we were friends again, like we used to be back in the day."

Liv's tone softens with understanding. "That sounds nice, Emma. You guys have a long history together, and it's good to see you reconnecting."

"Yeah," I say, a hint of wistfulness in my voice. "Honestly, it made me realize how much I miss having him in my life like before. I wish I never messed things up between us two years ago."

There's a pause on the other end of the line, a pause heavy with empathy. Finally, Liv speaks, her words gentle but firm.

"Emma, you can't change the past. What you can do is focus on the present and the future. Maybe this is a chance to rebuild that bond with Jay."

Abby chimes in, her voice carrying a note of practicality. "Liv's right. You are sharing an apartment now, which means more opportunities to spend time together. Who knows, maybe you can get back to being as close as you were."

I sigh, the weight of my own regrets weighing on me. "I hope so. Today feels so natural, like we are just two people enjoying each other's company. But you know, there's a catch."

Liv's curiosity is piqued. "A catch? What's that?"

I hesitate for a moment before revealing, "Jay has a girlfriend now, Camila." I say her name with a tinny wince of hatred.

That girl makes my blood boil.

Liv's voice turns incredulous. "Wait, what? Jay's got a girlfriend? When did this happen?"

I nod, a pang of disappointment gnawing at me. "Yeah, I know. Apparently, they have been dating for a while now."

“For a year if I am not mistaken.” Abby adds.

Abby is actually the one who informed me about it a few weeks after Rosie turned one. Jay apparently showed up to wish Rosie a happy birthday with his new girlfriend.

“f**k that’s messed up.” Liv says.

Liv and I have not talked about Camila so this is news to her.

Abby’s voice soothes me. "I know it's not easy, Emma. But remember, you're building a friendship, not trying to win him over romantically. Just take things one step at a time."

Liv chimes in with her pragmatic wisdom. "And hey, who knows? Relationships change. Maybe their relationship won't last forever, and you will still be there as his friend."

I sigh, grateful for their support and understanding. "Thanks, guys. I guess I just need to vent and get some perspective. It's just... complicated."

Liv's voice softens, full of reassurance. "We are here for you, Emma. And remember, the best relationships are the ones built on a solid foundation of friendship. Just take things as they come."

Abby's pragmatic tone returns. "But don't forget, if they do break up, be cautious about giving him false hope. You don't want him to think you are just waiting around for that to happen."

I nod, my heart heavy but my spirits lifted by their words. "I hear you, both of you. Thanks for listening and giving me your honest thoughts."

Liv's voice turns playful. "Of course! And if all else fails, we can always plan a girl's night out to distract you."

I chuckle, feeling a renewed sense of connection with my friends. "That sounds like a plan. Thanks, guys. I really needed this."

I nod, my smile growing wider. "So that’s how my day with Jay went. We bonded over a game, laughed at our mishaps, and even shared a few victories. It was like old times, you know?"

Liv's voice softens, understanding my sentiment. "That sounds really nice, Emma."

"Yeah," I sigh, feeling a sense of warmth fill my chest. "It was a different kind of day. I never expected to reconnect with Jay like this."

Abby's tone turns thoughtful. "I am glad to hear you guys are getting along and not trying to kill each other.”

Both Liv and I burst out laughing.

I nod, grateful for their support and perspective. "Thanks, guys. It means a lot to have you to talk to."

Liv's voice is full of warmth. "We are here for you, Emma. And remember, sometimes the best relationships are the ones that start as friendships."

As our conversation continues, I feel a sense of comfort settle over me. Liv and Abby's presence through the screen reassures me that I am not navigating this situation alone. And while Jay's unexpected involvement in my day might have stirred up old memories and feelings, having my best friends to confide in helps me see that maybe, just maybe, there's a chance for something new to blossom.

As our conversation starts winding down, I can't help but feel a mixture of emotions. Hanging up the phone, I reflect on the words exchanged with Liv and Abby. They have provided me with the perspective I needed, like a much-needed compass guiding me through the maze of my thoughts and feelings. Talking to them has been like taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture.

The idea of reconnecting with Jay as a friend takes on a new clarity. It's as if a fog has lifted, revealing a path that's been there all along, waiting for me to recognize it. Regardless of the twists and turns life has taken us through, it's clear that building a friendship with Jay might be the right course of action. It's a way to bridge the gap that's formed over the years, to reclaim the camaraderie that once defined our relationship.

The possibility of a new chapter starting fills me with a sense of hope. Maybe, just maybe, we are on the cusp of something beautiful. This new chapter is like a fresh page waiting to be written, its lines ready to be filled with laughter, shared memories, and maybe even new adventures.

Where our interactions aren't limited to virtual worlds and video games, but extend to the real world as well. A chapter where the kitchen becomes a place not only for culinary mishaps but for bonding and shared experiences.

As I hang up the phone, I can't help but feel a renewed sense of purpose. The future feels open and full of possibilities. And though the road ahead might be uncertain, there's a certain excitement in knowing that I have the chance to write this new chapter with Jay, one line at a time. Whether it's virtual worlds or real-life conversations, laughter, or serious talks, it's all part of the journey that's yet to unfold.

Feeling the need to quench my thirst, I decide to head to the kitchen for a glass of water. Leaving the comfort of my bed, I walk toward the door, my steps carrying a mix of purpose and curiosity. As I approach the door, a distinct murmur of voices reaches my ears, and I realize that Jay must have returned from wherever he went earlier. After our satisfying early supper, a meal that could easily be dubbed the best I have had in a while, he had mentioned going out to catch up with his friends.

Pushing open the door, I step into the hallway, my senses keenly attuned to the sounds that now surround me. As I make my way toward the kitchen, the voices grow more distinct. Amid the conversation, there's a familiar, melodic giggle that catches my attention, it's Camila. She must be back from her weekend away with her friends, I think to myself.

Each step brings me closer to the source of the sound, and as the kitchen comes into view, my heart skips a beat. There, unfolding before my eyes, is a scene that stirs a complex mix of emotions within me. Camila is perched on the kitchen counter, her appearance somewhat dishevelled, and Jay stands between her legs, his lips grazing her neck in an intimate embrace.

A surge of jealousy washes over me in an instant, so powerful that it almost catches me off guard. My emotions, normally held in check, suddenly surge to the surface with an intensity that I struggle to contain. It's as though the air itself has become charged with tension, and I find myself frozen for a moment, a silent observer to a tableau that ignites a storm of conflicting feelings within me.

I swallow hard, my throat suddenly dry as if the very air has been sucked out of the room. A mixture of hurt, longing, and yes, envy, swirls within me, forming an emotional maelstrom that threatens to engulf me entirely. I tear my gaze away from the scene before me, forcing myself to step backward, retreating from the raw emotions that threaten to bubble over.

I slip back into my room, closing the door softly behind me. Leaning against the door, I take a deep, shaky breath, attempting to regain my composure. My mind races, thoughts colliding like fragments of a puzzle that refuses to come together. It's a moment that unveils the vulnerability I have been trying so hard to hide, a vulnerability that reminds me that beneath the facade of friendship, there are still unspoken truths and unhealed wounds.

In the quiet solitude of my room, I am left grappling with the unexpected storm of emotions that Jay and Camila's intimate moment has stirred within me. It's a reminder that the path to rebuilding a friendship might be more treacherous than I anticipated, fraught with unexpected twists and turns that challenge my sense of self and my feelings for Jay.

I still have feelings for him.