Two Worlds; True Mates

Chapter 8

Cain Pov

“So are you going to tell me what happened with the therapist?” Colette asked, her fingers drumming on the steering wheel as she tried and failed not to show off how pissed off she was. I simply shrugged and she clenched her jaw tightly, letting out an exasperated sigh. “I went in to talk to her when you went to the bathroom, to see what she had to say and to see if she’d be a good therapist for you to continue seeing. But what did I see, Cain? I saw a disheveled woman with the same starry eyes as every single other woman who has come up to me talking about you. Asking me for your phone number, if you’re seeing anyone, if you’re interested in her. A therapist shouldn’t be asking me those questions, Cain, and the smell of s*x in the room didn’t do much to stop me from guessing exactly what happened.” She said. I shrugged once more, because I didn’t really see the point in denying any of it. I mean…what did she expect? She shouldn’t have found me a hot therapist. “Cain, how are you ever going to get better if you don’t put the effort into trying? You’re twenty-five years old now, it’s just…when are you going to start acting like it?” She asked.

I gripped my hands tightly at my sides, trying to stop listening to the lectures I’ve heard all my life since I came to live with her. I knew, absolutely knew, that she was right. I knew I needed to try harder, I knew that she wanted what was best for me. But knowing it deep in my heart, and feeling it in my mind, were two entirely different things. I was trapped in my own thoughts and emotions, and I was struggling to breathe. I looked at her, watching her talk to me as she drove the car, her hand smacking into the wheel more than once to show off just how furious she was, and as I watched her let out a deep shaky breath, lifting her hand to her face and wiping away a tear, something inside me broke. “Let me out,” I nearly growled at her. She stared at the road, letting out a soft sniffle as she looked at me, and the expression on her face shattered me. She didn’t deserve to look like that, the helpless look on her face, not knowing what to do, how to help, where to go from here. The look of pure exhaustion, I did that to her. I did all of this. It was always me, the troubled kid, never good enough, never f*****g good enough. All I do is cause trouble, problem after problem. I felt my head throbbing as she came up to a red light, and closed my eyes, trying to take deep breaths. Damn, I really needed a drink. “f*****g let me out of the car!” I screamed as she stopped at the red light.

I struggled with the seat belt for a minute before snapping it off of me with a violent slap of the metal smacking into the window, and before she could drive off I opened the door, running out into the forest. I could hear her screaming for me, but I ignored it, I ignored all of it, running through the trees, wishing the dark of the forest would swallow me, drown me, until there was nothing left behind to hurt anyone ever again. ‘You’re only hurting yourself, Cain,’ Luke said in my mind, making me wish I could dig my fingers into my brain and rip him out. ‘Go back, explain to her. She’s your mother, Cain, she loves you.’ He said.

I shook my head back and forth, feeling tears pooling in my eyes as I ran. We weren’t far away from the pack when I ran out of the car, and if I turned right, I’d get there eventually, maybe in about twenty minutes or so. Instead, I ran to the left, my feet pounding silently on the ground, sure of my stealthy ways despite the desperation that was ripping through me. ‘I don’t deserve her love, I don’t deserve a mother.’ I said, feeling my heart clench painfully as I ran. That’s what it all came down to, in the end. I didn’t deserve to call her mom, I didn’t deserve to call Axel dad. They were too perfect, too sweet and caring, and I was just…me. The trouble maker, the kid that was picked to live with them simply because they wanted to adopt, and there were no other kids to pick beside me. It’s not every day that baby wolves become homeless, in need of new parents, and when they found me I was already too old to be saved. There wasn’t anyone else to pick from, no younger kids at the time. Then Aaron came, but he was cute and tiny, and loved. Then Evelyn, sweet and kind little Evelyn, even if she has strange hair color, she was just as loved as wanted as Aaron is. But me? What was I? Who was I? I was nothing, absolutely nothing. I’ll always be nothing. My own mother didn’t want me, then used me and threw me away, again. I was never anyone’s first choice, and I never will be.

It felt good, the stretch of my legs. I knew Luke wanted out, and I would let him run back to the pack later, but for now, I wanted to work every bit of my body, so when we did get home I’d simply crash in bed, hopefully never wake up. I was tired of…existing in a world that didn’t feel like it wanted me. I didn’t belong here, and I couldn’t help but feel like everyone knew it. They were just waiting for me to leave, but I was too cowardly to do that too. I couldn’t do anything.

I gasped, falling to my knees in the middle of the woods, unsure what to do or where to go. My body was heaving as I felt all of my emotions pouring through me, strangling me, begging me to come out. I always shoved them down, pushed them away, trying to protect myself. It’s better not to feel, than to feel too much, but times like these were when everything couldn’t stay put anymore. If you hold it all in and shove more and more, it builds up, until eventually…it spills out. I felt hot tears streaming down my cheeks, remembering the way Colette had wiped the tear from her eye, my breath coming out hot and painful, my chest aching as I curled up in a ball on the ground, gasping for breath as my vision went in and out. I could see her sniffling, her finger wet with the tears she slipped away, and as her face turned to mine, the look of complete exhaustion on her face, all I could do was sob, shaking back and forth as I cried. “I’m sorry,” I choked out brokenly, gasping for breath. “I’m sorry I’m not good enough,”

I don’t know how long I laid there, tired and spent, my breathing returning to normal as I kept my eyes closed. Luke had been trying to calm me down earlier, but he was used to my self-destructive panic attacks by now and kept quiet, allowing me time and space to recover. Suddenly, I felt…warm. My body was burning, and I sat up, looking around in wonder, confused. I stood, pulling my shirt away from my chest, running my fingers through my hair as I turned around in a circle. My skin was singing, pulling me towards the right and I started to walk silently, unsure what was going on as Luke started to jump around in my mind. I followed the pull, my mind racing, my body reacting, and a burst of wonder raced through me as I walked faster and faster, unsure what was going on. ‘What is this?’ I questioned, confused.

Luke let out soft whiny pants, throwing his body against the walls in my mind, begging me to go faster, to run, to get there before it’s too late. ‘Mate,’ he whispered in my mind.

I gasped, my eyes wide as I moved faster, unsure if this was really happening. Me? A…mate? I just assumed I wasn’t good enough for one, having had my wolf for seven years now and never finding one. Why would a woman be out here in the middle of the woods? Was this a joke? I stepped around a tree and stopped, staring in wonder at the scene in front of me as Luke whimpered in my mind. There were two women, one older than the other, but both fairly similar in appearance. It was quite easy to see that they were both related, mother and daughter most likely. There was a strange glowing circle behind them, and as the older woman stepped towards the circle and stepped through, I looked at the other woman. My heart was pounding as I stared at her, taking in every single beautiful feature on her. Long dark brown hair braided over her shoulder, her attractive form underneath a strange but beautiful dress, and her eyes, beautiful amber-colored eyes that shifted from side to side, before turning around and walking away. She doesn’t…feel the pull? I wondered, confused, as I started to run out of the forest into the clearing behind her. “Wait!”