One passionate night

Face of a ghost

“Busted.” I overheard Corbin mutter into his mug covering his smug smile.

What the hell was going on and who was she?

Was I still asleep and dreaming all of this? I could have sworn Jimmy kissed her on the lips without showing any sign of remorse.

Was she, his girlfriend?

Frowning at the thought of Jimmy confessing his feelings to me while he is seeing someone else. I wasn’t mad about him dating someone else besides me or loved the feeling of teasing him knowing I will never be with him. I was just so utterly confused right now, not understanding what the heck was going on.

I always saw Jimmy as a decent and nice guy and friend. I didn’t mistreat him after he told me about having romantic feelings for me. We still stayed friends even though he wanted to be more. I never let him on or teased him. It wasn’t my style.

“Hey, I thought you would have left right after the movie.” Jimmy began making my eyebrows furrow in surprise.

I fell asleep midway because it was a boring movie and I had no interest in whatsoever torturing myself to watch it any further. My plan was to leave right after it finished but instead, I fell asleep and when I woke up this morning with him nowhere to be seen.  

“I fell asleep.” I clarified. Getting a ridiculously weird vibe from him.  

“Oh, yeah. Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you. Giselle just showed up here and we headed up to my room not wanting to bother you.” He explained without even feeling embarrassed or showing a twinge of guilt.

He invited me over for a “movie night” and bangs another girl who shows up at his door in the middle of the night.

I know we are friends and I won’t stand in the way of him and the girl he is seeing but inviting me over just to bang another because I am not interested in something I can’t really wrap my mind around. It suddenly felt as if I didn’t know him.

“Giselle? Why does that name sound so familiar?” I asked, more to myself than to any of the William's brothers.

“She’s my ex-girlfriend,” Corbin answered, his expression guarded.

Blink. Double blink.

What?

Corbin’s eyes gazed into mine and he nodded as if he senses my dumbfounded expression. A cold, unwelcoming shiver ran up my spine and suddenly I wanted to get out of here.

“My darling brother slept with her while we were dating and has been doing it ever since I called it off.” He explained without showing a drop of tender-heartedness as what he showed me a few moments ago.

Corbin was right. I didn’t know who his brother was. I only know what he has shown me which was all fake. The scars on my arms and lower abdomen started to itch at the uncomfortable feeling that boiled inside of me.

I trusted someone who can’t be trusted at all.

“She didn’t love you and you can’t accept the fact she wants to be with me.” Jimmy’s remark came out of nowhere.

I stared at him with big, round eyes. Hatred for his brother was written all over his facial features.

“How does it feel knowing someone you truly liked turned her back on you only to be with me?” Jimmy’s sharp, awful words reminded me of someone I used to know.

The person who is responsible for all the pain I’ve endured. His face appeared in front of mine and it felt as if he was in this room with us. Laughing at me as I lay naked on the floor after he and his friends had their way with me.

I refused to cry ever since that day because my tears, screams and begging did nothing to save me or end the hours of torture.

The gods stood in the room watching me being abused and they did nothing to intervene or punish them for what they did to me. I’ve not only woke up with scars on my body but an ache in my heart that will never be fixed. Not even with a miracle will I be whole again.

I lump formed in my throat and it became hard to breathe when it felt as if someone punched me in the chest.

“I need to go.” I master to say. Leaving the kitchen without waiting for a response. I grabbed my things and headed for the door when Jimmy appeared out of nowhere. Grabbing me by my arms. I wanted to scream at him to let me go but I kept a straight face even though I was shuddering from inside.

No one has ever touched me like this in five years. Jimmy’s touch was everything but nice. “Camille. Let me explain.” He begged. Not sensing my discomfort or that he was hurting me with his tight grip and making me start having an anxiety attack.

“I’m not mad at you Jimmy. There is no us. There is you and there is me.” I needed him to let me go now before I have a freak-out moment. “Whatever you do with your life has nothing to do with me.”

“I truly like you.” I wanted to laugh in his face at how ridiculous and cliché that sounded. I might not know a lot about love or romance but I am definite that what he is doing isn’t close to expressing his romantic interest in me.

“No, you like the idea of me. I’m just another face and body to you.” Remembering what Corbin told me minutes ago, I pulled my arms free from his hold. Ripped the door open and left the house in a hurry hoping that he wasn’t following me.

When I reached my bike, I was gasping for air, feeling the tightness in my chest suffocating me. Placing my hand over the leather seat of my bike I started to count to a hundred with my eyes closed, shoving everything around me away until it was just me.

What the actual f**k was going on in there? Jimmy, who I thought is the boy next door and gentle soul is actually a monster. Sleeping with his brother’s girlfriend and continue rubbing it in Corbin’s face.

I couldn’t catch my breath or calm down my racing heart even practising what my therapist suggested.

Shivers ran all over my skin while my scars felt as if they were ripped open and blood started to ooze out from the wounds.

Why can’t I just go back to being normal?

“Camille?” I whirled around at the sound of Corbin’s voice.

He was standing with my helmet in his hands looking at me with wide eyes.

Shit.

“Are you okay?” He asked, taking a step towards me but I stopped him. Holding up my hand, begging him not to come closer.

“Panic attack?” s**t. How does he know?

“I don’t like to be touched,” I admitted, wanting him to leave me alone. I always felt so fragile whenever I have these stupid attacks.

“I used to get them as well.” He informed me, placing my helmet on my bike before reaching out to touch my face. I thought I would curl into a ball or retract but I did the complete opposite. I lifted my gaze and found myself staring into his steady eyes.

Distractions were also suggested to help but I never believed in them until now. I haven’t even felt when he rested my hand over his chest. Until I felt his steady heartbeat underneath my palm as he released my hand so that I could focus on meeting the beat of his heart.

I inhaled a breath of relief when I could finally breathe normally again. “You must probably think I am some kind of weak-ass,” I muttered, removing my hand from his chest.

He shook his head at me. “Completely the opposite actually.”

I reached over to grab my helmet. Wanting to go home and get away from here far as possible. At least I wasn’t working the same shift as Jimmy. It was a big relief because I first had to get over this panic attack before I could face him again.

“There is medication that can help you,” Corbin suggested.

I shook my head. “I don’t want to be drugged to control my attacks.”

“So, what’s your plan? Stay away from humans?” He asked, obviously not amused.

I shrugged. “It has worked so far. I haven’t had a panic attack in five years.” I said. Slipping on my helmet and pushing the visor up.

“What’s going to happen when you get another panic attack and no one is around to safe you?” He queried.

“I don’t someone to safe me.” I spat. I might be damaged goods but I don’t need any man or human to come to my rescue. “It’s because of selfish people that I am this way.” I turned my back to him as I got on my bike. Turned the key and brought my bike to life.

I pulled out of their driveway without glancing at him and made my way home.

I thought Mandy would be out since it is Saturday but to my amazement, her vehicle was parked outside.

I’ve been sharing a two-bedroom house with Mandy since I arrived in San Francisco a few years ago. Not prepared to share a dorm room with a group of girls.

There was nothing to complain about. Except for when she brings her dates home.

My eyebrows shot up in surprise when I opened the door and found Mandy having a hot and heavy make session with an unfamiliar guy on the couch of all places. Their loud and stout-hearted moans filled the room.

His hands pushed underneath her shirt and shorts. While hers travelled behind his shorts.

I would have considered leaving to give them some privacy but then yet again. She does have her own bedroom.

So, I shut the front door with a bang to get their attention. I watched them in amusement scrambling for cover. “Camille?!” She yelped.

Pushing the poor guy off her and he dropped to the ground while she jumped up to pull her top down. “What are you doing here?” She then asked forgetting that I live here too.

“I live here.” I pointed out. Watching the guy standing up from the floor and fixing his pants forgetting about his zipper. The most crucial part.

Nothing could surprise me anymore. Not with all the dates, she’s been on since we met.

“I thought you were already out.” She replied.

“I was and now I am not anymore,” I answered.  

“Oh.” She curled her hair behind her ear before switching on the light.

The guy walked up to me, completely unaware of his zip and introduced himself. “Shane.” He seemed different to Mandy’s usual dates she brings home. Almost appears nicer. A person with actual feelings.

“Your pants, mate.” I turned my face away, suppressing a chuckle.

I cleared my throat before looking at Mandy and noticing her flushed cheeks. “I am just going to my room,” I told her and then looked at Shane shuffling awkwardly on his feet.

I bit back a remark and said my goodbyes before stepping away.