One passionate night

Life. A cruel and wicked acronym that leaves a twisted and bitter taste in your mouth. It rips your soul to pieces without any compassion or remission and leaves you lying on a cold, alley floor. Humiliated and disgraced. It continues to take without giving back. Makes you learn from mistakes that weren’t even yours, to begin with. Let’s monsters roam free and turn a blind eye when the devils’ feed of an innocent soul. I have endured one of the cruellest moments of my life where I not only lost my soul but I was spared and I had no idea why. Calling me lucky seemed a bit overrated because if it was luck, it should not have happened in the first place to a girl like me. Who don’t even bat an eyelash at anyone or try to catch the eyes of a thief and yet, it’s me who got hurt. I stopped asking why me. So much has already been taken away from me that it was pointless to dread over something I have no control over or to turn back that clock and get my life back. Tucking my helmet underneath my arm making my way down the halls towards the lecture hall. Nobody stared because no one cared. Only curious about the meaning behind the ink lines running down my arms. Greeting Mr Thompson when I entered his mechanical workshop. The awkward tension between the guys and I finally came to an end last semester when they finally warmed up to me. Girl engineers were still found extremely weird even though it was the 21st century. Becoming an engineer has always been a dream of mine. My father used to be a mechanic before he passed away and would teach me all about the science of moving parts of a car. I found my calling at the age of eleven and never decided otherwise. Not even when life took my parents away from me and sent people to hurt me. I couldn’t understand life and how selfish it was but I could understand the art of creating. I could fix broken parts of any electrical device but not the wound in my heart. The outgoing part of me stopped existing five years ago. I feared the world and all its wicked ways of teaching lessons. My ultimate survival tool was focusing on anything besides my pain and past. Challenges were what I needed to get by every day and to keep my demons at bay. I was a loner long before coming to San Francisco and people’s gossip or remarks didn’t bother me or make me want to change my ways. I’ve learned a long time ago that my life is my own and no one else’. I get to decide what I want to do with it. Becoming the first female engineer for motorsport racing was a goal I set out the day I watched my favourite driver meet his end on the track. All I ever wanted was to be able to design a much safer vehicle, knowing when they are racing out on the track, they are safe and a bump in the barrier won’t kill them. Many spoke and warned me of wasting twelve years of my life to become an engineer because nobody wants a female engineer on their team. It was only a hunch and not every person is a jerk. I was doing my internship at one of the best car companies in San Francisco who also owned a racing team. The owner of the company saw my potential even before he met me and has handed me a couple of tests which I passed effortlessly. I wanted to become one of the racing team's engineers even if I had to work on something small just to have the feel of being out there. Killing the engine of my bike, I found Jimmy waiting outside the local bar of the town. Leaning up against his slick vehicle giving me a look I despise ever since we met. He was good-looking, maybe even turned heads but his light brown eyes could never tempt me and I barely trusted his intentions and him. I know about the crush he has had on me ever since we started working together. Asked me out every chance he got and even though I turned him down every time, he still hasn’t given up. Jimmy agreed to be just friends even though I knew he wasn’t much fond of the idea but I had no intention of having a serious relationship with anyone right now. Working as a bartender at the bar was supposed to be a temporary job when I arrived two years ago. I was like any other student who had to pay rent, buy food and pay gas but most of all I had to stay busy because any signs of peace and silence my demons starts hunting me. “Hi.” Jimmy greeted. Making his way over to me in two sleek footsteps. I couldn’t understand why he was working at a bar when he came from a wealthy family and could get any job that pays more. “Hey.” I greeted back slipping off my bike noticing his scowl. Jimmy always had a problem with me owning a bike and he kept lecturing me about it being too dangerous. He hasn’t seen the hurt a human doing can do to a person. He should really be afraid of them and not some vehicle. I would rather die on a bike than at the hands of a human. “How was class?” He asked, his eyes following my every move. Making me slightly uncomfortable. He reminded me of how our customer's eyes raked all over me because of the bar uniform. Tight black leather pants. A white button top that stopped midway and showed off my cleavage more than I liked. Jerry’s place was the only bar where I had a bit of control and had people who took care of problematic customers. “Like any other. Finally got my model moving without getting stuck.” I answered, feeling actually really proud of myself but he didn’t share my excitement. He wasn’t much interested in my passion. It was part of the reason why I didn’t give him a chance because he always has so much to say about my likes and passion. I have always been a daredevil even after my abuse and it was my way of surviving the cruel world. “My brother is going out tonight with his friends and I thought we can maybe hang out at my place after our shift?” He started and I know he was trying really hard to get me to go out on a date with him. I didn’t even know his older brother was in town. According to Jimmy, his brother, Corbin studied abroad for five years and graduated a few months back. “Jimmy…” I began but he cut me off with a chuckle. “I’m not asking you out if that is what you are afraid of.” He clarified. Giving me a sincere smile. I would have believed him if it wasn’t for his eyes that gave his hurt away. “Just wanted to know if you want to come over and hang out at my place? I know you don’t like parties or to go places. We can just watch a movie and we always keep popcorn around.” “So, it’s not a date, right?” I confirmed. He shook his head. “No, it’s just two friends watching a film and having a good time.” Why does it feel like a good time has a double meaning to him? I know I should turn him down again but maybe if he sees it won’t work out between us, he will let this go and accept to just being my friend. “Fine. You got me at popcorn.” I lied but didn’t show it. His smile reached his ears and for a moment I feared what I’ve just done. I took over from the other bartender after she filled me in on every detail. Jimmy was already helping out customers when I finally got a chance to take over. “Double scotch on the rocks, sweetheart.” I didn’t bother to raise my gaze or inform him not to call me sweetheart. He was a regular and became a real hard ass when it came to filling him in about having too much to drink. He has threatened to burn down the bar multiple times after Jerry refused to have any of us serve him further. I poured his drink and pushed it over to him making sure his hand didn’t touch mine. Accepted the crumpled-up dollar bills and almost jerked out of my skin when he clamped his damp, sweaty palm over my hand. He reeked of alcohol and I was considering informing him that he had enough for the night. This is the part of the job I hated the most. People do not know about boundaries. Thinking they can touch me like I am a piece of cake on a stand. “How many times do I have to do this dance with you? Have security throw you out and humiliate you in front of your friends and co-workers?” I acted calm and tried not to make a scene. I have seen what drunks do to people and I was in no condition to become a victim. “A smile doesn’t cost anything.” The old prude remarked. I yanked my hand out from underneath his and rolled my shoulders to get rid of my discomfort. “I’m not getting paid to smile.” The itch on my arms flared to life when I caught his eyes raking all over me wishing that Jerry can come up with a different uniform even though it gets the bills paid by having drunks pay double tips just because they see something they like. When men reached out to grab me like this, I hated it and have considered resigning many times before. Many called me a loner. It was a decision I made years ago because when you make friends, they start asking questions. Questions I am not comfortable with answering. I have a dark past and I feel like damaged goods. “You good?” Jimmy asked when I inhaled a quick breath before continuing to serve the rest of our customers. “Fine,” I mumbled. Shoving my problems out of my head and focused on getting this night over without any further problems. Author Note: From 3-4 of January 2022 One Passionate Night will start going on pay-to-read.