Women And the Demons Who Love Them

Bad At Love-1

Halsey- Colors

Chapter One: Yeah, These Are Divorce Papers

    Counseling high school students is the hardest thing in the history of the hardest things ever. I had a girl come in asking me how she could make credits up to try and catch up with the graduating class. She's six classes behind and is most likely going to be here until she's nineteen if she doesn't put in the effort. 

    Later that day, the same girl returned with her mother. Her mother had the biggest fit ever when I told her the girl wasn't going to be able to graduate with the other students. She wasn't even getting her diploma if she went to summer school and aced the classes she would take. I suggested Adult School and she went off on how Adult School is for pregnant delinquents who are worth nothing. At least, those girls have an excuse for failing. This one was just lazy. Of course, I didn't say that I'd lose my job. 

    So, here I am sitting my car in the midafternoon traffic. I had planned to call Joe to tell him I was heading home early but dismissed the thought knowing he'd be busy at work. I'll text him once I get home and get some food on the stove. I had been tailing this new recipe on Pinterest. I'm almost certain I have all the ingredients at home. There's definitely room for improvising if I didn't. With that, I made up my mind to test my cooking skills. It's been a few weeks since I've tried something new. 

    I pulled up to the gated community we had bought our house six months ago. Joe hadn't liked the idea of living in a gated community but once he saw what it had to offer and the house, he was in love. We had looked at other locations but he always came back to this one. We had gotten a three-bedroom house. It was a little big for the two of us. 

    I had finally finished school when we bought the house. It was the only thing keeping us from having kids. We made an agreement to restrain from kids until we both were where we wanted to be and now here we are. 

    It scared the hell out of me but I can't help but get excited. Joeseph and I had been together since we were seniors in high school. I had grown up in a small town with my parents and my dad's nephew who we had taken in after his brother and his wife died in a car accident. When my dad passed away my moved us into the city where she could find a better job. Raising two teens alone wasn't something she had ever planned on. 

    That's where I met Joe. I was the new girl and he was captain of the soccer team. My dad had been a big soccer enthusiast. My cousin Malcolm had joined the team after he showed Joe up during P.E. They became close and I couldn't help falling in love with that i***t. Especially, since he was always around. Always going out of his way to please me.

    We got married right after graduation. He joined the Marines and after two tours he finally decided to come home and stay. This year he made detective and I couldn't be more proud. We're ready for the next step all we have to do is talk about it and come to an agreement. 

    I pulled into our driveway taking the paperwork I needed to finish. I can do that while the chicken is in the oven. I opened the door walking into the kitchen straight away. I put my things on the counter and headed to the refrigerator to start taking what I needed out. I stopped when I heard a low thud come from upstairs. I stayed quiet thinking maybe I had imagined it but it was followed by a louder one. 

    My heart began to race as I pulled my phone sending Joe a text message. I didn't want whoever was in here to hear me. I didn't want to spook them. I put the phone on the counter taking a knife from the holder and held it in front of me how I was taught in self-defense. 

    Against my better judgment, I started up the stairs slowly without making any noise. Another sound echoed in the house coming from inside our bedroom. I felt like my heart was going to jump right out of my chest with fear. I took a deep breath, taking hold of the doorknob and slowly turned it. I pushed the door open. My breath caught in my throat at what was in front of me. 

    "What. The. f**k?" I let out breathlessly. 

    "Lana?" he said turning to face me. "f**k," 

    "Oh, my god," I said backing away as he pulled on a pair of shorts.

    I turned around going back in the direction I had come trying to shake what I had just witnessed. My husband balls deep in his partner. I've had so many insecurities in my life but never this one. Not once did it ever cross my mind that the man I had given everything to would do this to me. Other women were not relevant to me. I've always thought very highly of myself. I had the confidence and the ego of a f*****g grand dutchess. I sure as hell never expected this butch of a woman to be the one who would take anything from me.

    "Lana, wait," he said coming after me. 

    The anger in me boiled over when his filthy f*****g hand gripped my arm and turned me around. I didn't mean to but I spun around with the knife in my hand. The end of the blade plunged into his bicep making him stumble back. 

    "You f*****g bastard," I shouted. "Why would you do that to me?" 

    "Babe," he called out to me taking the knife out of his arm. Blood began to trickle down his arm as he held his hand to the wound. "I-I-I,"

    "You what?" I shouted. "You what Joeseph? Do you love her?"

    "What? Of course not," 

    "You're a piece of s**t," I said shaking my head. 

    I meant to turn around but lost my footing. My ankle gave out and my legs bent. My knees hit the wooden steps and I tumbled down without being able to catch myself. He called my name as I hit the floor holding my arms out to prevent myself from face planting on the hardwood floor. Embarrassed and hurt I pulled myself up. My ankle most likely spraint or broken protested when I set it down to try and walk.

    "Lana are you okay?" Joe rushed towards me.

    "No, I'm not okay. You stupid mother fucker. Get out! Get the f**k out of my house and take your stupid f*****g w***e with you," 

    "Lana stop. Let's talk about this," he said still holding on to his arm. 

    "How long has this been going on, Joe? Why would you do this?" 

    "I don't know," he said shaking his head. 

    "How long?" he looked up at me trying to come up with an explanation. "Answer me," 

    "Five months," he said. She came down the stairs fully clothed. 

    "Get out," 

    "I have to get you to the hospital, Lana. You fell down the stairs," he said. 

    "I'll call Mal. Get out of here before I stab her too," I said calmly. 

    "She stabbed you?" Ana smirked at him. 

    "Get out of my f*****g house!" I shouted again. She pushed him towards the door and they both walked out. 

    I slowly made it to my phone calling Malcolm. He answered right away. I told him what had happened. He got here as fast as he could. By then I had sat on the floor of the kitchen staring at the fridge. I pulled my good leg up towards me feeling it all set in. That first sob rocked through me and I couldn't help the fit that followed. 

    I had to wear a brace for two weeks. He didn't try to contact me. He didn't come home. The days went by in a blur as I made up my mind. I didn't want any of this s**t. It wasn't mine. It wasn't his. It had been ours. The only thing I claimed was my car. We didn't have a joint account because his had been through the military for so long. Even if it hadn't been I didn't want his money. I don't want anything from him. 

    That's what I repeated to myself as I walked into the police station. I got a lot of sympathetic glances as I walked towards the back where his office is. They had all known. These people had known. They had come into our house once we had settled in, they had celebrated our marriage, and they watched how he f****d my life up for five months straight. I knocked on his door mentally preparing myself for this argument. For him to try and save this. When he pulled the door open his eyes met my own before he looked around and let me in.

    "Hey," was all he said taking a seat behind his desk. Pictures of us decorated his office. "Sit down," 

    "I'm not going to be here very long. I have a flight to catch," I said taking the file out of my bag. 

    "You're going out of state?" I nodded. 

    "Yeah, I got a job offering in Malibu," 

    "You're leaving?" he asked his voice rising. 

    "Yeah," I said dropping the paperwork in front of him. "I need you to sign these," 

    "What are these?" he asked without even glancing down at them. 

    "You know what they are," 

    "These are divorce papers?" 

    "Yeah, these are divorce papers. What did you expect?" 

    "Lana, I know I f****d up but this is a little extreme," he said standing up. 

    "Extreme? I caught you with your mistress in my bed that you've been f*****g the both of us in for five months, Joeseph," I tried to keep my voice down but I couldn't. Just being in front of him made livid. It boils my damned blood. "I don't want to look at you much less try to fix something that you broke. I don't understand how you're surprised. You know exactly who I am," 

    "Lana," 

    "That's not my f*****g name. You don't get to call me that anymore. My name is Lannyesville (Lan-Yes-Vil), Porter. Sign the f*****g papers. I have to take them to my lawyer and catch a plane," 

    "Your name is Lannyesville Halestorm. I'm not giving you a divorce. We can fix this," 

    "No, we can't," I said feeling the knot I think is going to be permanent in my throat ache. "I gave you everything. I gave you all of me and you turned around and threw it all away and for what? If you didn't love her," 

    "I don't. I love you," 

    "I don't want you to love me anymore. If this is how you love I don't want anything to do with you. Look at me and tell me this was the first and only time you did it," he looked away. "You did this when you were away didn't you? This isn't the first time. I know you. I- I can't. I don't forgive you for this," 

    "Don't do this," he said shaking his head. "Please don't make me sign this paper," 

    "I left you everything. The house all of it. I'm just taking my car. It's going to be shipped to California tomorrow. I'm taking my savings. Everything else is yours. Sign the paper, Joeseph. I have to go," Is aid after taking a deep breath to stay calm. His eyes stayed on me for an instant before he looked down at papers with labels sticking out from the sides. 

    "Is there anything I can say to make you stay?" 

    "Nothing. There is nothing for you to say to me that I haven't already thought of. In the month you've been gone you didn't try to contact me. You didn't call to see if I was okay. Not one word. I sat at home thinking you were going to show up and tell me what you did just now. I thought you'd try to fix it. I waited, day in and day out. Did you stop f*****g her?" 

    He looked down at the paperwork reaching for a pen. I scoffed as he began to sign and initial the paperwork. He put it back in the envelope and handed it back to me. I looked up at his expressionless face. 

    "The least you can do is apologize to me, Joeseph," 

    "What?" he asked. 

    "Not once did you apologize for any of this. I want to hear you say it even if you don't mean it," 

    "I am sorry, Lana. I-I am so f*****g sorry," he said reaching for me. I stepped back. 

    "The only reason you're sorry is because I caught you. I caught you and instead of coming back to try and fix it. You went home with her and continued to do the thing you are so f*****g sorry for. f**k you, Joeseph. I hope you have a great f*****g life," 

    I turned and pulled the door open. He grabbed my arm. You'd think he would have learned from the first time. I turned around the palm of my hand open. I connected with his nose the sickening sound of it breaking vibrated in my hand before he staggered back holding his face as blood gushed out. 

    "f**k, Lana," he said steadying himself on his desk. Everyone turned to look at us. 

    "Put some ice on it. You'll be fine, ass hole," I turned heading towards the door. I stopped when she walked in standing in the middle of the aisle. 

    "Mrs. Halestorm," she smirked. I pulled back, my fist meeting her eye. Her head whipped around making her fall. She looked back at me shocked.

    "Ms. Porter. Mrs. Halestorm died in her sleep six years ago," I said stepping over her.