Chapter 12
1102 Words
CHAPTER 12
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"Mom, where are we going?
"Where did you go last night?" Dysthe asked.
I look at her, "We just hangout," I said to her.
She raised her brow to me, "You're with Hexon's?" she asked.
I pursed my lips and nod, "Yeah, why did you asked?"
She smiled at me, "I'm just happy that you're leaving your comfort zone," she said.
My lips parted, "Did you just leave yours?" I asked and bit my inside cheeks to stop from saying things that would offend her.
I really want her to wake up, this is our reality, we are meant to maintain the surname we are given at, I want her happiness but if that thing will make her life miserable then I'm willing to take that away, she can still find something, not him.
I would love to see her smile but I would never want to see her wrecked, I'm willing to support her but everything changed when I talked to him, he's not in love with her, so no, it's not worth it.
She chuckled at me, "You seems mad but then, you have a soft voice. I'm sorry, Dem. If you're still mad about what happened the last day then I'm willing to apologize, but please respect my decision," she said and look at me.
I look away at her, I can't stand looking at her, how come that this life has the guts to ruined the thing that is already wrecked?
Damn.
I pursed my lips and smiled at her, "You're a smart woman, Dysthe. I just hope you're choosing the right thing," I uttered to her.
She sighed and beamed at me, an empty smile, "Should I always have to be intelligent? Can I be dumb just for a day or even sometimes?" she asked as she lean on the railings of the terrace.
I bit my lips as I stared at her, "I don't know," I whispered and copied her position, we're looking at the star above, a peaceful night but seems to be chaotic for the both of us.
"Are you happy right now, Dem?" she asked and glanced at me.
"I don't know," I whispered.
"Why?" she asked.
I smiled at her, "Why are you happy right now?" I asked back.
She shook her head, "Yes, this is the second time that I felt myself being so genuinely happy. I felt like my heart will explode, it feels so overwhelming," I said.
"You do look happy," I murmured as I took a glimpse on her then back to stars.
"And you look the same," she said.
I chuckled, "Just the same, maybe I'm not happy nor sad, I'm just in the middle of those two," I said and closed my eyes.
The wind blow to my face, "Sometimes, I'm wondering too what does it feel to be that happy, where you can just laugh while eating with your family, where you can just be chill and be who you are," I uttered and turn to her.
Her lips parted, "Dems..." she whispered.
"I don't know your pain, Dysthe, cause you're the only who can tell how much things can wound you, but I just hope... you'll choosing something that will heal you," I bit my lips and lean on the railings, I'm now facing the sliding door.
"We don't need to choose something that will heal us, Dems, we just need time to fix it, cause no matter what we do, if the wound keeps on bleeding, you cannot just find a way to stop it," I swallowed hard when I saw her eyes, it looks vulnerable.
"Sometimes, you'll just seat in one place and tell yourself that... it's okay, it's fine to cry, it's fine to bleed in your own pace but make sure... that no one will ever see you, cause being soft will just break the wall that you built," she bit her lips as her voice shaken.
"Dysthe... it's okay to be weak sometimes, it's fine not to be strong in all times—"
"When did I ever said that I was strong?" she asked and stared at me.
My lips parted at what she said, "Tell me Dems, cause I never was. I never said that I was strong like how you're telling me, too. Everyone of you just made a conclusion that I am, because you never saw cry... cause I kept on fighting, but I know myself..." she looks at painfully.
"I just embrace those things that I need to... cause I'm afraid, I'm so damn scared that one day... I'll be just dead inside, I don't want to lose my sight in life, I don't want to be lifeless by living the life that they want me to be," she smiled ta me, but her eyes... I hate it.
I gasped at her and held her, I embrace as I felt my tears rolled in my cheeks, oh god! Why do you have to do this to her, she's doesn't deserve this.
"I'm sorry..." I whispered to her, I felt my heart pinched when she hugged me back.
"You don't have to, I know you loved me, you were just so good to be true. I hope... you'll be able to find the happiness that you truly deserve," she said and moved away, she wiped my tears.
She's not crying but her says it all, the sorrow in her eyes makes me want to just... let her, but I know I can't. I'm sorry, Dysthe.
I love you and I can't watched be destroyed by someone whose not deserving of you.
"You're an angel, Dems." she uttered as she looks at intently.
"The way you talked, you moved and everything you do, it's telling me that you're my angel, I would love to see your eyes shine with happiness... I'm praying for that," she said and kissed my forehead.
I watched her as she went inside, I exhaled deeply and wiped the tears that streaming on my face.
That's what I want to, Dysthe.
But how could I just watch you, when I know that in the end, your heart will just be scattered into a pieces by the person you never expect.
I sighed and sat on the chair, I love lonely nights where I can just stare at the night sky and say that I'm at peace.
I want to disregard everything, all of the thoughts, all of the problem and just everything around me. I want my heart to feel the serenity even just for a while... just for a day.
- Writer
