Rent a christian boyfriend

She was so emotional

I woke up early because I was super anxious. I checked my phone placed near the lamp, it was merely six in the morning. Luka had texted both Leona and I that his flight would land around nine am. I was excited just a little, well alright maybe not a little but it was something to look forward to. I didn't have anyone to talk to...

I had Leona's parents and Jeremy even Sam to talk to about anything but not about what was happening between Leona and I. My hope was that I could open up to my brother and he could help me, help me because I felt trapped. My happiness was just a door away and I had just-

Fuck!

My life is a tragic scene.

I showered and shaved, I immediately thought back to when Leo had said she loved my cute mustache and I shouldn't shave because stubble made me look sexy. Maybe I shouldn't have shaved just to please her but I was already done anyways. Yesterday, Sam came over with Jeremy so we could watch Manchester United playing against Liverpool. Leo's dad decided to join us, it was just epic. I was starting to think he was a workaholic so I told him that no offense but he should enjoy his fifties with his wife, go to Hawaii, go on dates, hang out with the boys (us). He totally agreed. I told him that him going to church with his wife wasn't and wouldn't be considered a date. That had him laughing, that's when he said he hopes I marry Leona that way he always has me around. I smiled and every thought of mine went back to that Rose gold engagement ring.

Even if the odds were in my favor, I just couldn't afford it. I also have a feeling Leo would say no, she practically hates me. She can't stand being close to me and worse we won't let me touch her. Not touch her but I have got accustomed to laying my hand on top of hers or just around her waist. She won't let me, she immediately changes to a uncomfortable stance so I stopped but every-time I'm close to her I can't help it.

It's absolute torture.

I dressed in my usual attire, black skinny jeans, a black T-shirt well let me just say the Neighborhood merch and of course my one of my many leather jackets... and my favorite boots that I had bought in Italy. I saw a magazine with that Harry Styles guy from One direction wearing the very same kind so when I saw them on sale in Italy. I didn't hesitate buying them. It was a good brand. I suppose Harry Styles and I shared a bit of fashion sense back in the day not his Gucci suits as of now. That's not something I would wear but he definitely make it work!

I didn't want to go downstairs so I decided to try my luck with Leona. She hates my guts but I don't care. I won't mind her just sitting next to me talking about Nick just as long as she even talks to me or let's me be close to her. I will be content. She seems to be fine with me leaving, I guess she is really putting all the stops to get over me not that she even liked me as much as I like her.

Like-

Sounded wrong.

I love Leona.

I sighed, I love Debby too. I feel distant with Debby because I haven't been with her in so long but when we meet. I know my feelings will immediately return and maybe even overcome the feelings I have for Leona.

I softly knocked and there was no response so I let myself in her room, she was awake. Her legs crossed and her laptop in front of her. She was softly sobbing with a wipe in hand.

"Leo, are you okay?" I knelt before her bed and she turned to me. I thought she would shout and chase me out but she didn't. I was glad.

"C-can you believe she had to raise six children on her own after her husband died?" Leona sobbed and I sat close so she could cry on my chest.

"Who?" I asked.

"Ruth!" Leo replied sobbing, she laid her head on my chest.

"Who is Ruth?" I asked and she gestured at the YouTube video that was playing. Right below it, was written Strong Single Mothers Documentary.

"That's Maria from Cuba, she had to raise her twins alone when she was sixteen, the father refused to take responsibility." Leo sobbed.

"Why are you even watching this?" I asked her. It was a very sad documentary, judging from the background as the woman spoke in Spanish and there were translations right under and a voice over.

"It was in my recommendations besides it's just so inspiring and motivating. Do you know that one of Maria's sons is going to study at the University of Massachusetts. She did it all alone, she is so strong." Leo explained and I listened.

"Motivating how?" I asked.

"Because- because uh so I don't end up like that..." She said uneasily. "Besides I have just always been a feminist."

"You won't end up like that Leo, if I ever made anyone pregnant. I would take responsibility, I know how it feels to ask yourself why your father doesn't want you or why he doesn't visit. Sometimes you end up thinking you were a mistake and the actual fact is you were. No matter how many times your mother constantly tells you that you were a blessing." I said this from personal experience.

"That's really sad." Leo looked me, for the first time in a while she didn't turn to look away.

"It really is, no child of mine will ever go through that because at first I didn't want kids and now I suppose I will be there, if it so happens that I have a child."

"So do you want a boy or a girl?" She asked me.

"I don't know, I mean both would be really cool. I guess I will just wait for God to surprise me. If it's a girl, I might have to murder any boys that come near her." I chuckled thinking about it, she gave me a small smile.. it didn't reach her eyes.

"Does Debby want kids?" She asked. I somehow hated how everyone of our topics led to Debby. I didn't want to talk about her, not with Leo or all people.

"I don't know, never really talked about it."

It's true we never did.

"She always mentioned wanting a big family since it was just always her and her brother but I always said no."

"She will be happy to know that you had a change of heart." Leo said softly.

Was it weird that I didn't see myself having a child with anyone else rather than the woman laid on my chest?

"I still don't." I replied, I still don't want to have kids with Debby or any other woman besides Leona. That's what I meant.

"I understand." She said pulling away from my arms, just when I thought I had her just even for a little bit.

"You still want to have your twins? Of course after you get married." I questioned. She simply shrugged.

"You really can't make plans for anything because they just never follow through unfortunately.."

"You will be a great mom Leona. Don't doubt it even for a second. I see the way you were with the twins, it's so in you."

She smiled before shutting her laptop closed.

"Thanks, I hope so." She sighed.

There was awkward silence between us. Until I decided to ask her a question I had been dreading to ask, I just really needed to know. I had to know for my sake. I couldn't live not knowing..

"Leo, do you hate me?" I abruptly asked. She stay stiff for a second before she turned to look at me.

"Why would I hate you?" She replied a question with a question.

"You're just so distant.. maybe I'm overreacting but you don't want me around you."

Her eyes softened.

"I don't and I could never hate you. I just want you to be happy and I think it would be best if we spent these last couple of weeks away from each other. You know what happens when we're alone... it's just wrong and not fair on Debby. I want you to be happy that's all." She said, tears forming right under her eyes. I didn't like seeing her cry, she never cried in front of me or hardly ever cried but now ever since that phone call with Debby, she just easily cries. She is just so emotional.

"You make me happy and wanting us to have some sort of boundary makes me unhappy."

"Just pretend nothing ever happened and we will be fine. You're doing your job so that you can go back to your girlfriend. That was the main priority and it's only fair if it stays the main priority." She breathed in avoid the tears from falling, I could tell this was very hard for her but why was she doing this? Leo was just so pure, always thinking of others before herself.

"So what are you plans after I leave? I don't think I ever asked that." I decided to change the subject because frankly it was making me a bit sad and teary too.

"Go back to New York, go back to work and that's just about it."

"I thought you said you wanted to stay with your family and friends this side. Why do you want to isolate yourself?" I curiously asked.

"I won't be entirely by myself, Nick stays in New York and well we plan on meeting up from time to time." She solemnly said looking away from me. I won't deny the fact that I was hurt.

"Oh.." I said under my breath. "I wish you well."

"Thanks." She was quick to reply. "I'm just going to shower then we can pick up Luka... are you excited? My parents think it's a good idea him coming here so you can find some closure." Leona smiled making me smile.

"I will never be able to thank you and your family for every single thing that you have done for me. I finally know how it feels to be part of a family." I said out of the blue.

"We only want what's best for you." She added.

"Thanks Leo." I said once again and she only nodded leaving me alone in her room. I decided to go downstairs because there was nothing here for me to do. Frankly I was not going to watch some depressing documentary.