Rent a christian boyfriend

She was so distant

I stared-

and stared.

Looked intently.

Leona came back last night, Sam drove her home. I didn't expect her to since she said she wasn't coming back home. I got a little more time to talk to her mom, her dad had went straight back to work after their little vacation with Marissa and Frank. She had been giving me a cold shoulder ever since she found out that I was sleeping with her angel. She saw me as a bad guy. I practically was. I explained to her about my past and right there after she understood how and why I felt a certain way about the topic HIV. She was so consoling as she apologized about how ill-formed she had acted towards me. She even suggested a book for me to read, she said something along the lines 'it will give you inner healing to forgive your father and accept the things you couldn't change.' I read it through out the night, I didn't have much to do. She was right, it was actually good. I felt a tad bit better and less angry. I still hated him but this book gave me a different mindset about everything around me. It didn't only change my view on my hatred for my dead father but... I was actually looking forward to seeing my brother.

It was mind-opening.

Luka was my brother and he was coming to see me for my birthday. That made me feel excited, I had finished this book at four thirty in the morning. For the next hour, I just stared at the ceiling thinking about my life and the direction I was leading.

Leona was the reason was Luka was visiting. She cared a lot about me and how do I repay her? I rub the fact that I have a girlfriend in her face every given moment when not so long ago, I was feeling every inch of myself deep inside her on a hotel balcony and at the beach, in the middle of the night.

I suppose Luka coming wasn't a bad idea. I hadn't seen him in years and well I was tired of being angry. The book that I read said that you can't be happy and bitter at the same time, one has to go. I had to let it go. I was angry with a dead man. He loved his life and here I was spending my life hating him. A total waste of time. Luka was the only family, I had and I wanted to try and be a good younger brother. He had once asked me to be his best man but I turned him down. I know he has a daughter and being with Marissa's twins made me realize, I would make a good uncle. I wanted to put an effort in relationships and friendships. I want to love and be loved. I want to be cared for, I don't want to be alone and be content with it because it's all I know. I want to be open to new beginning, I want to do something with my life. I want to settle in one country, one city, one town, one house, with one person.

I want to fix my life.

But where do I start?

"Is there cheese in this thing?" Leona asked.

"Yes, I know how much you love cheese." Her mom replied but Leo frowned.

"It tastes funny." She said closing her mouth with her right hand, a cringe right under. "Maybe you bought a different brand, it tastes like soap.." Leona continued, I just stared at her being dramatic. There was absolutely nothing wrong with this sandwich.

"No Lee, this is the brand we always buy."

Her mom seemed concerned.

"Are you okay sweets?" Her mom stood up from her stool going to put her hand on Leo's forehead. She only frowned.

"Perfectly fine, I'm just a bit out of it today. I will just have yoghurt then head out.." She said quickly avoiding the matter at hand.

"Heard out where?" I asked.

"Just... hang out with Nick uhm he wants to take his brother's dog to the vet."

She still wouldn't look at me in the eye as she said any of this in fact, she had not been wanting to make any eye contact with me. I was... well worried about her. I was starting to think I make her really uncomfortable. Helen, Leo's mom decided to excuse herself. She could tell things were a bit tense between her daughter and I.

"Oh so when do we get to hang out..?" I asked her softly, she looked at the sugar basin on the kitchen counter.

"Uhm.. uh well we already hang out enough here at the house plus Addie's wedding preparations." She still wouldn't look at me and she kept fumbling with her fingers. I noticed she wasn't keeping her hair down like she used to for me. It was back in a bun and I felt like she was doing everything to push me away.

"We hardly see each other Leo." I said in a husky voice. "You're always at Sam and Laura's apartment."

She tended then looked at the floor.

"Is there something you want to tell me maybe?" I asked making her quickly look at me then look else where. I missed those green eyes just looking at me with love, care and curiosity.

"Yeah.." She sighed. "Luka is coming tomorrow."

I was disappointed.

"That's great." I mustered.

"I hope you still aren't mad at me, if you're it's okay. I understand besides it's only a few weeks left."

What was with everyone reminding me of the time and date?

"Even if I leave, I want us to stay in contact. I'm not mad at you.. I'm sorry about the way I acted. I know it was all a genuine gesture." I said softly, my eyes traced to the cute summer dress she was wearing with a jean jacket. She looked effortlessly beautiful.

"Stay in contact?" She repeated like it was an abomination.

"Yes. I suppose you could visit me whenever you can and I can visit you. We could skype or FaceTime anything as long as I'm still apart of your life.." I explained, I meant every word.

"I-i don't think that will be a good idea, Eric." She said pressing her lips into a thin line, I missed her having a smile whenever she was with me.

"Oh! Why not?" I asked wounded by her last response.

"Well if I was Debby, I wouldn't want my boyfriend FaceTiming or visiting some girl that he was sleeping with while I was in jail. It's just uncalled for and I wouldn't want to cause any problems." She said under her breath. I was sure Helen went upstairs that's why we were having this conversation and Rodney was working. It was safe to have this conversation.

"But she isn't just some girl." I retorted, she only rolled her eyes attempting to walk away from me.

"Can we go out tonight?" I asked, desperation clear in my voice. "After you hang out with Nick." I tried really hard not to sound jealous.

"Eric, can we not do this." She sighed.

"I'm just asking the girl I really like on a date, what's wrong with that?" I gave her a smirk.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that."

"I know there's everything wrong with it but I'm trying." I added. She stopped for a bit, she looked uncomfortable it was as if bile was about to come up her throat but she suppressed it.

"Are you okay?" I asked her. She didn't reply and I got worried and stepped closer.

"I'm fine, I think I have a fever or something."

"Leona, what are you hiding from me?" I asked seriously.

"Nothing! What would I hide?" She said defensively. "I just always feel nauseas when I'm on my period. I have headaches and cramps, it's just the worst really.."

The only thing I heard was period.

"You're on your period?" I asked and she nodded like it was the most obvious thing.

"Are you one of those guys who are disgusted and what not because I totally understand.." Leo said making me realize that I had the wrong idea all along.

'It was just a scare.'

Maybe she thought she was pregnant but then found out she wasn't.

"No, not at all. Are you sure you still want to go out on your period?" I insensitively asked. She only laughed, I missed that.

"I'm fine besides imagine if all women didn't go to work or do anything productive all because they were on their period."

I gave her a small nod, as I decided I might as well clear the table and put the few dishes in the sink.

"So can we spend the night together?" I asked making her tense.

"Not in that way but maybe watch a movie, you watch movies with Sam but never with me." I didn't realize how jealous I sounded until the words were already out.

"I'm probably going to be super tired and-"

I immediately cut her off.

"What happened to us Leona?" I questioned, just a few days ago. She was sleeping in my arms, in the bathtub on the bed. Talking about anything from her fear of spiders to how pineapple on pizza is actually good and people just sneak diss for no good reason what so ever. I was losing her, I could feel her slipping out of my fingers slowly being distant.

"There was no us, Eric." She shrugged.

"We both know you're lying.." I replied, hurt by her statement.

"We had s*x on different occasions and hang out. That's just about it." She shrugged.

"It wasn't just sex." I retorted.

"Whatever it was uhm I will see you later." I could tell talking about it made her very nervous and jumpy. I didn't say anything, what could I say? She three steps away she stopped, holding her hand to her mouth. Bile attempting to come back up, I immediately went to her aid and when I touched her. The sparks were undeniable, I never thought I would say I missed just touching her skin without sounding like a weirdo.

"I'm fine, perfectly fine. Let me go." She said defensively and I did.

"You can't go out when you're feeling like this." I protested.

"It's nothing." She said.

"I'm taking you to the doctor to get some proper pain killers or something."

That's when she freaked out.

"What no! I'm a nurse, I know exactly how to treat myself." She said defensively.

"Alright alright, no harm done. I was just suggesting."

She looked at me weirdly before pulling away from from my arms. I missed her touch already. I watched her confidently walk out the door. She was going out with Nick to the vet with a dog. Why did I feel like ninety percent of this story wasn't adding up. It really surprised me to see her wearing a dress. She was always in jeans that shaped her in every way and a cute blouse that always had me guessing what the color of her bra was. I suppose she really wants to look good for Nick.

He was certainly one lucky guy.