To Want You

61 51 ( To be Rewritten and Revised )

( To be Rewritten and Revised )

The lights are beautiful, swaying, and changing, and illuminating the world.

They could make the grinch's heart melt. Their glow, their shine, everything about them is stunningly gorgeous. I should have considered doing this a long time ago. It doesn't take long until I reach where they sell the goods, immediately picking two cotton candy with the color of the rainbow. The cotton candy here is five times bigger than your head. And the same applies to the corndogs. Basically, everything around here excels in size so I'm beginning to understand why it's the most popular sport at the moment.

I decided to get some cole for my brothers and a bag for another snack. If we're here, might as well just binge on everything they're selling here. I can hear the squeals of people from a far as they enjoy what the night has to offer them and it causes me to smile.

"That'll be twelve dollars."

I give the exact amount before taking the things from him, turning to leave the next second.

After a long stressing day at work, this is the stress reliever I've been needing.

The sight brings me back to my high school days where I'd' just sit like this after school was over and stare out the window. I missed the quiet days, the ones of still telephones and silent clocks.

I miss the random sounds that came sailing in the breeze; the birdsong that came so sweetly, almost tangible as if it were softly spun sugar. If I had things going my way, I would want to sit here all day long.

The sidewalk glistens under the vibrant sun, washed clean by a thousand raindrops, and then a thousand more.

It is as grey as the granite of the mountain peaks, new life growing in the crevices, tenacious, vibrant - tall wands of green upon wind-blown soil grains, each one so precious to the life it supports.

People walk, roughly in one direction, weaving a little, chatting as they go.

I stayed still for the remaining minutes of my break and just watched the world around me move without stopping.

My mind had wandered off, recalling the past without my permission. My memories with Abel. Sometimes I find myself spacing off wondering how things would've turned out had I not left him.

Would I have been able to handle the pain of someone precious to me suddenly becoming a stranger?

Honestly, It's a scary thought that I don't ever want to experience.

The only reason why I'm able to be strong in front of Abel now despite our broken past is because of my mother. She's helped me become strong for myself.

It's not like there's anything I could do to lift this awful curse anyway.

Might as well just live on rather than waste my time feeling the pain of things that can't be fixed.

The negative memories come with a cost, as addictive as they feel, once lessons are learned there is nothing in them of value.

The positive memories come as a friend with a picnic basket, they are good and nourishing, supportive, and kind.

And so I choose to build myself this way, letting the bad ones wander off on their own and encouraging the good ones to blossom and grow.

This way I become confident, well balanced, and in control of me, able to appreciate each moment as a gift and to see a positive future.