To Want You

26

Something's not right. Did he really just say those words like I'm some kind of toy that can be claimed? I return equal intensity of the glare thrown at me.

"I don't like you in that way. You know that perfectly well. "I grit through my teeth, trying to inject a reminder into my words."We can-"

His taunting, sarcastic laugh slices through my statement triggering a distance chill down my back. That slap from earlier? Zero regrets. If anything, I want to do more than that right now.

He flicked his eyes to collide with mine.

"You think that's how it works?" With an eyebrow raised, he pokes the inside of his cheek before walking away from me.

I hold in my breath, trying to calm my heart that's beating like I've climbed mount kilimanjaro.

Where did this kind of attitude come from?

This isn't how he is. Once he's gone from my vision, I nibble of the bottom side of my lip wondering if I should tell him or not. And there's my other thoughts as well that probably might not be healthy.

Aside from his surprise claim over my whole being, I'm more concerned about the thoughts flashing my mind right now.

I want to beat him into a pulp, fry him in fish oil and feed him to the cockroaches. After a few seconds, I give myself a little pinch. Maybe it's a dream.

"Ouch."

Definitely not.

Snatching the toilet roll from the counter, I then saunter to the living room where I find Abel laying on the couch with an arm hovering his eyes.

There's been a lot of things bugging my mind and he was an exception. The reason why I'm letting him have his way today is because I have something to tell him. And I can already tell he won't like it. I take a deep breath once again and exhale. It was now or never.

"We need to talk."

"We just did." He murmers, showing no signs of moving. "Now let me rest. I can't sleep at home because of you."

That suddenly makes me worry. Because no matter how busy you are, proper sleep is essential for you to function in your daily activities.

"How is that my fault?" I ask half heartedly. He said he cant sleep at his place because of me? Did he already forget he was the one who chose to stay in hiding in the first place? Judging by how he addressed it as 'at home' I'm guessing he returned perhaps two days ago? Then again. How would I know? It's not like I was informed of it or anything.

"-side me." He says.

I think I drifted off again. I quietly settle on the carpet, pressing my back against the boarder of the couch Abel's on before stuffing my nose with tissue like a dead person.

"What was that?"

I hear him let out a huff. "I said it sucks I can't take you to bed with me." The way those words naturally rolled out his lips made it seem like he's used that phrase a thousand times.

Shaking my head, I pluck another white sheet of tissue and shove it up my nose.

"Don't go saying things like that. People might misunderstand." I murmer before facing him. I know I did. "But I'm serious. We really need to talk."

"If this is about last week then forget it. I told already didn't I? Never bring it up. Now shut up and let me sleep."

This new side I'm seeing really surprises me to be honest. But at the same time, it irritates me. My fist curls on it's own, turning to the glowing shade of white. Should I beat some senses into him again? I'm holding myself back from doing so.

Then again, It probably won't work. Since that slap didn't either. Should I have done ten times harder?

No. It still wouldnt have worked. I guess I'll just have to resort with defeat and release what's been in my chest for so long. And also because I don't want to leave bad tension between us.

"It's not my fault."I tell him.

"Right." That sounded more like a mock rather than a tone of acceptance. I think I heard him laugh a little under his breath.

I bring the side of my lip up and silently snarl at this young man. When did he become this cocky? Was he always like this?

"I'm leaving."

"Be back before ten."

"It..it's not that kind of leave though."

It's been months now when my parents called to talk about what I'd do after highschool. That time, I ended up asking for their advice. Mother suggested that I move in with them. Long story short. I didn't decline.

The sofa behind me shuffles before the tone of a less irritated person sounds up. "What do you mean you're leaving?"

"I'm leaving. Outside the country."

I end up fiddling with the hem of the tissue roll stuck between my fingers while staring deep into space. There. I said it. After five months of holding it in, I finally said it.

"Why?"

"Mhh? Oh. I want to be with my parents. I've figures since I'm almost done with senior high, I'll go live with them and attend the college of their choice."

"You're planning to leave me?"

Any traces of that cold version of Abel has been wiped off and I turn to give him a little smile. "It'll only be for six years. I'll be back soon."

Silence falls as he continues to stare at me with a narrowed expression. I let out a cough and raise the tissue up likes I've just proved a point. "So yeah. That's the important thing I want to tell you."

Abel clicks his tongue and lays back down with closed eyes. And after a minutes of what I thought was pure comfortable silence, he whispers faintly.

"I should mark you."