Be My Mistake

                                                                                            one                                                                                    ______________ New York, USA It had been six months since I left my home country and migrated here in the States. I left everything behind me as I started my new life here. I learned a lot outside my comfort zone. Living alone wasn't easy especially in a foreign country, but it sure did make me an independent person. One of the changes I embraced. Working as an Overseas Worker, it was very difficult. I don't have friends or acquaintances to talk to. You have no one to ask for help when you need one. Everyday I had to deal with racists, scammers, at mentally ill people lurking around the streets. But it was all part of the challenges I deal with the moment I chose to live here. You will get used to it as time passes by. The worst of all that I never wanted to experience again— it's homesickness. It was very difficult. It's easy for us to dream of going somewhere, but the reality of adjusting is real. If there's any consolation, it was knowing that there were other Filipinos working in the same country as I am. I briskly walk to the bus station two blocks away from my apartment. I had a morning shift at a hotel as a housekeeper. In the afternoon, I work as a waitress at a Mexican Restaurant. On weekends, I do babysitting for 6 hours then call it a day. I survived doing that. After finishing my day to day work, I was finally able to go home. Only to be stressed again by the notice I received in my mail box. I only have two weeks left to evacuate the place. I drew a deep breath and laid my back on the couch. The real estate agent didn't allow me to renew my lease contract, saying it was already reserved. I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes. Although my apartment had so many damages, it was the cheapest in East Harlem. Maybe it's time for me to move in Brooklyn. Good thing I saved up for this. * * * I decided to just take out my food from Shake Shack. I ordered shroom burger, grilled cheese sandwich and bacon cheese fries, my comfort food, though nothing beats McDonald's for me. Ever since I lived in New York, I had never tried to roam around. I was so busy adjusting and keeping up with my work. That's why I was so excited to visit the infamous Brooklyn Bridge Park today. Actually, I was looking for an apartment. I had talked with broker after broker and check my prospected apartments. Still, I found it hella expensive and not what I expected. Expectation vs. Reality. I took a hungry bite while my eyes were busy looking around the city. There were a bunch of teenagers, couples, kids, elderly and tourists. I finished my food, took it in the trash, and fished for my phone in my back pocket. Suddenly, I was feeling giddy all over. The sun was beginning to scatter in the horizon. Different shades of color filling up the sky. Mixture of orange, yellow, pink and violet hues. It warms the deepest part of my heart. You know that excited feeling you can't contain? This was how I feel every single time I watch the sunset. Magical. A small smile formed my lips. My eyes landed on my right side. A tall man was looking intently at the sky. He was wearing white yankees cap, blue denim long sleeve polo that was folded neatly on his elbow, and white fitted pants. He was facing me side view. From where I stood, he was only two meters apart from me. I could see his face vividly, like how his sharp jaw clenched; how straight his nose was like that of a Greek; his sexy thin pinkish lips and the perfect contour of his upper lips. Though I couldn't tell the color of his eyes. It was already dark. I put my elbow on the concrete, my hand catching my jaw—silently watching him as he watched the sunset disappear. He was gorgeous alright. He was only wearing casual clothes, still he managed to look like he came from the magazine. He can't be American. With those long lashes naturally curled up, made his face looked innocent. He must be French. And kind of familiar? I was taken aback when he glanced at me briefly. Gosh, so embarrassing! Did he see me ogling at him? Like a thirsty b***h. I was in trance of following him when my phone rang, waking me up from my senses. I almost stalked that man! Shaking my head, I answered the broker who was calling me. I checked every corner of the apartment. It was a bit pricey for me, but I can manage. In fact, I'd say it was a great deal for me. I won't be paying for any damages nor renovate it. Just a simple touch up is all it needs. I made a reservation. I was already descending downstairs outside the apartment when a motorcycle caught my eyes. It was temporarily parked across the street. My eyes shifted to the built of a man opening the gate, only to be shocked when I saw his face. The light coming from the light post made me see him clearly. It was really the sunset guy from Brooklyn Bridge earlier. And he lived in a private ground floor apartment across mine?! Wow! Destiny really works its wonder. He must be really rich to afford an apartment like that. Or maybe he owns that? "Models usually rent private apartments like that," said by the broker, looking where I was looking, too. "How much does that costs?" I asked, pretending to be interested in the apartment more than the guy who was living there. "It ranges from 2000-4000 dollars." Hearing the prices made my jaw dropped literally. I can't reach that. After sealing the deal with the broker, I went home. But before that, I glanced one last look across the street. I guess I won't be adjusting that long... I smiled at that thought. * * * Pulling one big trolley bag and one large-sized box that carried all my things, I stepped out of the rented moving truck. Today's the day I'll be moving on to my new apartment. Looking back, living a minimalist life has helped me a lot. I didn't have any trouble from transferring and it was easy packing my things. I didn't have much appliances from my previous apartment because I rarely eat at home. It's high time that I treat myself now. I'll be living in this new apartment for two years. This time I didn't hesitate to sign a long-term contract. I stretched my arms when I put my things inside. I grabbed my purse and look for a receipt. There. Roaming my eyes around, I started jotting down the things I will be needing for my IKEA trip. Some wallpapers, paint, mirror, utility cart, etc. For my appliances, just a mini fridge and casting iron would be fine. What matters to me was the pantry. I want my pantry full! I know I'd be spending bucks here, but just this once, I want to make myself happy. I should at least make my home cozy as possible, unlike my previous one. I was walking outside when I absent-mindedly glanced across the street. There were no signs of him. His black, shiny motorcycle was nowhere to be seen. I felt a bit disappointed. I finished my tasks just in time for lunch. The appliances I bought was not yet delivered. Instead of waiting, I started to clean my apartment and painted it off-white. I sticked the wallpapers on my kitchen. When I looked at the clock, it was already 16:21. The delivery man called me, he was outside to deliver my refrigerator. I didn't bother to fix myself and hurriedly went downstairs. He had a cart on his hands. I was skeptic to let a stranger enters my turf. I borrowed the cart in his hands and pushed it in the ramps. It wasn't that big and heavy since it was only a mini fridge. After 5 minutes, I returned the cart to him and gave him a tip. I didn't go away at first. I wanted to have a look first across the street. He was there, looking at me. s**t! My heart raced like never before, making me slight dizzy from the sudden jolt. He broke our eye contact when I was about to have a stare contest with him. Damn that man! I really really like him! My brain kept on bugging me while I was at lift. How do you make your crush notice you? How to be close to your crush?? How to make your crush crush you back??? Ugh. Why didn't he look at me longer? Am I not that pretty? Okay, I admit to that. I continued beautifying my space. When I was done, I smiled to myself. I was proud of myself for finishing the make-over in less than a day. Installing the mirror last, I shrieked when I saw my dirty reflection. So that was the reason he was looking at me? I looked horrible! I had dry paint on my cheeks, forehead and chin. My hair was also tied in a very messy bun. It didn't look like the ones on youtube. My neighbor crush must have been terrified when he saw me. Oh no. No no no no no. They say 'first impression lasts.' Whatever that means. I quickly showered and scrubbed my body that has dried paint also. I had to scrub it for good 30 minutes before it all comes off. Enough to make my morena skin red. After all that internal drama, I sit on my balcony with a cup of hot chocolate drink. This was how I imagined myself living alone. An apartment with balcony that oversees the busy city. I had long dreamed of this day. Sipping my hot chocolate my eyes wondered again to his apartment. The illuminating lamp post lit his frontyard. Motorcycle already parked in his garage. I put my elbow on steel while my palm catched my jaw. My other free hand holding my cup. I looked like a silly teenager waiting for her crush to come outside of the gate and have a glimpse. When it seemed he won't show up, I took my phone and took a selfie instead. My smile was so bright—thanks to the glimmering lights reflecting in my eyes. I sent it to my best friends in the Philippines. We had video calls that night and just talked how we missed each other. We shared hearty laughs and crazy stories. My heart felt full. "Don't scare the guy, Lana. I hope you are not smiling at him like a lovesick fool!" Boli commented, my gay friend. "Whatever you say, b***h! He's probably smitten with my smile," I chided. "What does this guy look like? Tell me, b***h. I know your type," Mel was talking, my other biatch.  "He looks like someone who stepped outside the magazine. Maybe he's an Abercrombie & Fitch modelo." I glanced again at his apartment, voila, he was outside talking in his cellphone. "Bitches, he's outside!!!" I squirmed in excitement. "Let me see. Let me see," Boli commanded. This b***h wants to see my man. "Quick, bitch." second motioned by Mel. "Thirsty bitches, he's mine!" I told them, changing my camera from front to back. They didn't see that much because I was in 5th floor and he was on the ground. I ended the call then switched to camera. I zoomed and took a picture of him happily talking to someone on his phone. He entered his apartment not too long. "His girlfriend? I mean, look, he's devastatingly handsome. It's impossible that he's single," Mel told me that. I sent his pics in our group chat. I felt a slight pang in my chest. Boli thinks so, too. I didn't think of that possibility. "You're right," I heaved a sigh. "Still, I want to know his name." "Lana, you don't stand a chance on him. That guy must be a high-fashion model. He's way out of your league." Juli joined the chat. "No! Wait and see, bitches. I will have that man!" The three of them laughed at me. "Sis, you're delusional. Stop that and wake up from your growing infatuation." Boli reminded me of Jeremiah. I do not want to talk about him. It has been a year after that crazy stunt I did. "Lana, you just need some sleep to forget your delusions. We have to go. It's already 6 am here. I need to prepare for work." We bid goodbyes and ended the video call. I still want to talk them longer, but time won't permit. Time difference sucks. I glanced at his front porch before I entered my room. It's becoming a habit of mine. Turning off the lights, I laid in bed. It wasn't completely dark. The city lights outside was enough to dim my room. Even though my eyes were closed, my mind couldn't stop imagining the man across the street. The way he looked at the Brooklyn Bridge kept playing on my mind like a broken record. My heart was literally hit. Nah, I just lacked complete sleep.