Tamisan and Enigma Box Set

Chapter 4

4

What attracted my attention next were my dark brown eyes, bordered with thick black lashes. Beautiful dark eyes. I kept staring into those eyes. They were now my eyes. I had to get a grip on that. This was what I would see in the mirror from now on. I sighed again - out loud this time. Would I ever get used to this?

The rest of my face was also very attractive; it was just the right shape. My lips were full and I had a neat little nose. When I turned my head from side to side, the strange woman did the same, and I had the sense that it was all a trick, that there was a person standing on the other side of a sheet of plain glass, mimicking my every move.

I kept staring at the stranger. This new body was, I admitted to myself, so much prettier than my own. I’d had short, wavy, light brown hair (regulation shoulder length), bluish-grey eyes and a fairly pale complexion and I’d always believed that I looked a bit too plump. Well, maybe not plump, but I didn’t consider myself slender or dainty. And I was just plain. And I’d never thought of myself as really attractive (although Oliana and Kaliya had always insisted I was).

I kept moving and watching my reflection move. I couldn’t help it. It really seemed maybe someone was trying to fool me. I resisted the urge to move suddenly to try to catch the woman out and prove it was all fake. Doing that would make me seem childish or maybe even a little crazy.

I looked down at myself and didn’t find myself. Not my real self. Not the one I grew up knowing. It was all so strange. Too strange. My heart was still thumping in my chest and it still felt wrong. The more I thought about the fact that something wasn’t right with it, the more it thudded away against my ribcage. I had to fight the panic until I could calm myself down.

I looked back at my reflection. In the past, I’d envy other women sometimes who were more attractive than me, but I wasn’t a vain person and had never sought to change my appearance. Besides, I was too busy with my studies to worry about things like that. I’d never had much time for socialising either, and so my friends were few. But the few I had were very good friends, and that’s all that mattered to me.

That thought made me stop and think. I looked at the face in the mirror. They wouldn’t recognise me now. I’d lost them. Lost my life. The pain of it struck suddenly like a knife deep in my chest. Tears filled my eyes once again. What had they done?

The image of my friend, Oliana, popped into my head, smiling as she sat on her computer chair, spinning a little. “Travelling to the edge of the Explored Universe, studying new races and exotic planets – and being paid for it – how could a New Graduate with an adventurous spirit refuse?”

I’d frowned at her as I sat on the edge of my bed in my college quarters. She’d made it sound so adventurous. So exciting. My heartbeat had quickened at the thought – at the adventure.

Kaliya had come into the room and joined Oliana in convincing me to go. It sounded like something I’d been waiting for – something to get me out of my sterile, empty life – and I loved the thought of travelling to the stars and seeing some of the newly discovered planets, but my heart ached at the thought of leaving my friends.

Oliana still pushed for it, “We would only be like, a Vid call away, albeit a scratchy one. We could still visit each other like during holidays and the Festive Season and stuff, and maybe I could eventually get assigned to the same planet – you know, once I’ve finished all this...” She motioned toward the messy desk where her computer stood in amongst all her clothes, ornaments and Note Tablets. “Then we could have some real fun together.”

They kept it up till I agreed. It was hard to say goodbye to them, but I didn’t think at the time that it would be a permanent thing...

Dr Starrick couldn’t stay silent a moment longer. “What do you think? She is a real beauty, isn’t she–” and he gave a chuckle. “I mean, aren’t you?”

“Oh, yes...” I breathed, then blushed when I realised I was talking about myself. Blinking my tears away, I asked, “Who was she?” – though I already knew.

“Her name was Sifayah,” he began, but hesitated. “Well, actually, I don’t want to tell you too much about her yet. There’s already a lot that you have to take in at the moment…” he trailed off.

So I was right. Sifayah was the body donor. An unwilling donor, I was sure. She’d been wiped from existence so I could continue to live. And Sifayah’s memories were all that remained of her life...

“She isn’t human, is she?” I ventured, knowing full well what the answer would be, but wanting to hear what he would say about it – how much he was willing to tell me.

He seemed reluctant to answer. “Well... no...” he said slowly, “she is – ah – was – a native of Althar 3, but she was the only suitable donor we could find – especially on such short notice. She had been brought to our lab recently for study, so we decided to use her body to save your life.”

He was just so matter-of-fact about it all. Didn’t he realise what he’d done? And did he even care about Sifayah? Of course he didn’t.

“Information on her species has not been released yet as we have discovered so little about them,” he continued. “We do know that their biological structure and genetic makeup is very similar to ours, and their brain patterns are almost a mirror image on the screen. The only physical differences, as you will find out, are only an improvement on our own species.”

What? What differences?

My heartbeat quickened. I was frowning at him, which seemed to make him uncomfortable, but he continued. “These natives have actually adapted to be able to breathe underwater. They have lungs and gills – like amphibians. The gills are not visible from a distance, though. If you look closely or feel with your fingers, you will notice that there are slits below your ribcage. These are the gill openings. We observed that they seemed to remain fully closed while Sifayah was out of the water.”

I gasped. I was now an amphibian? Even though this news was quite a shock, I couldn’t help thinking that this was even more incredible than the fact that my new body was so beautiful. I found myself feeling just under my ribs through my robe, without even realising I was doing it. There was something there, but it was too hard to feel it properly. And I wasn’t about to have a look with him standing there. I could feel that I was wearing nothing at all underneath the robe, and that on top of everything else creeped me out.

My attention was drawn back to my erratic heartbeat again. What was wrong? Should I say something? It was starting to really worry me.

I tried to focus on the conversation and recalled some of the things that had been spinning around in my head before I fully regained consciousness. There were memories of living on the shore and of swimming under the sea. Swimming for great periods of time without surfacing... The pieces were coming together now – it was starting to make sense to me.

“There aren’t many visible differences,” he continued, “So you do look human. No one will have to know – we can give you a new identity. But the important thing is that you will be able to help us study these aliens much more closely than we ever thought possible!”

What? Is that all he cares about? I thought to myself, glaring at him. Studying the natives of this primitive planet? What about Sifayah? What about me? What – what if I don’t want to do it? You can’t make me!

Then for a second I thought I caught something…

Just cut the hair, reduce the tan, do a few touch-ups here and there and she’ll blend right in.

I stared at Dr Starrick open mouthed as my stomach tightened – his lips didn’t move, but I’d heard what he’d said! It was impossible! His mouth was closed and I hadn’t taken my eyes off his face!

No – not impossible. I must’ve heard what he’d just thought! Had I actually read his mind? No. Surely it was my imagination. But in my mind I found the answer. Sifayah’s people communicated through telepathy – what they called Mind-touch. This was the way they communicated underwater.

Well naturally! I thought. Have you ever tried to talk underwater?

Somehow I must have gained the ability – the Talent – along with Sifayah’s memories! Whoah! This is amazing!

Dr Starrick would have assumed that my blank expression was from the shock of hearing about all the things that had happened to me and that I was now an alien – and I was shocked – but I was so astounded that I’d just read his mind that I almost forgot everything else.

For me to read someone’s mind was incredible – but how? How was I able to do it too? When I thought about it, it made perfect sense. Normally, humans only used ten percent of their brain capacity, but in the case of the Talented, they used the other areas of the brain that are usually dormant. These areas would not have been mapped, transferred or overwritten by the Eibhlin Process, so it would only make sense that they would still be intact afterwards. But for me to be able to access it successfully? That was amazing.

Dr Starrick tried to reassure me, but the impact of what had happened was starting to sink in. I felt overwhelmed. It was too much. My excitement and awe melted away and through my despair came a heat I couldn’t push down. I clenched my fists and glared at him.

Did he realise what he’d done? Did he care? I wasn’t Zhenna Rhodarma anymore – I was an alien, a guinea pig in a lab, and I would never see Mosuti or Larissa or the others again. Never be able to go home again. Not to my life, anyway.

I turned to face him. My breathing was shallow and I found it hard to breathe. The heat spread all over my body.

Without realising what I was doing, I turned on him. “You know that what you’ve done is illegal, don’t you? When Starfleet Federation or The Six Star Alliance finds out about this, you do know the consequences, and they are not pleasant!”

My head suddenly felt cold and my heart continued to beat erratically. I reached for the bed to steady myself.

There’s something wrong with my heart! I thought frantically. I must be having a heart attack or something!

Dr Starrick sighed heavily. “Yes, I know the laws concerning this type of procedure, but there was no other way to save your life–”

“What about the life of the woman you used for this brain swapping? You’ve killed her!” I snapped. I was getting colder. And why couldn’t I breathe properly? I put a hand to my chest. My heart pounded.

“Well, that could not be avoided, unfortunately, but she was only a specimen we were studying in the Lab–”

“Only a specimen? Only a specimen?” I almost screamed the words. “She was still a person!”

“There may be some hope, however,” he interrupted me. “There may be something of her mind left. You see, we’ve developed a new technique, which we hope enabled us to preserve part of Sifayah’s mind, the part that deals with memory. If we were successful, we should be able to find out more about her people.”

So that explained why I’d retained Sifayah’s memories. It hadn’t all gone wrong. He’d kept them deliberately. “Now, can you tell me if there are any strange things,” he continued, “Memories or thoughts in your mind that are not your own?”

Seriously? You’re asking me now? “No. Nothing unusual,” I lied. I was not about to trust him after what he’d done to me – even if it was to save my life. There was something not right about him. Not right about the whole thing...

I tried to take slower, deeper breaths. It was extremely hard to try to calm down, especially when my mind was racing a million miles an hour and when I thought I might be having a heart attack. Or something...

“Oh,” he sighed. His face clearly showing his disappointment. “I was hoping... It doesn’t matter... It may be too soon yet…”

You’re disappointed? I thought. Ha!

I looked him in the eye. “You think Sifayah’s life was meaningless because she’s not ‘civilised’ like us? And what difference would keeping her memories make? Her whole consciousness and everything that made her who she was is gone!”

I felt cold all over now and breathing was close to impossible. I knew I was getting myself too worked up, but couldn’t stop myself. “How could you do this to me? How could you change me – my whole life – without telling me – asking me? I can never be the same. I can’t go back. I can’t be with my friends. I can’t keep this job... How are you going to explain where I came from? With a new identity?”

He ignored my questions and continued, “We were having trouble communicating with her, and the linguist – Talent Mosuti aboard your shuttle – was sent here to help us. But now he is dead and we haven’t been able to get another one appointed on such short notice...”

DEAD.

It was so final. I hadn’t had time to really think about what had happened to the other passengers and the pilot of the shuttle until now. Not properly. I had only known them for a few weeks, and now I would never see them again. The thought of their burned bodies in the jungle made me feel ill. They’d been cut down by laser rifles and burned and murdered and I’d somehow survived to be thrown into the body of an alien. I felt like I was drowning and couldn’t come up for air… They were dead. They were gone. I’d never see them again...

I knew the reason I felt cold was because the colour had drained from my cheeks. My head started to tingle and I felt cold and clammy all over. My stomach went queasy like I was going to be sick. I knew this feeling; it was how I felt when I was going to faint.

I needed to lie down. I needed to get back on the bed before I fell to the floor. “I ... I need to l-lie down...” I stammered. Then I started to tingle all over; my heart beating out a radical tune...

Blackness was crowding in at the edges of my vision, clouding it and trying to take over. My hearing was strange too. Everything sounded kind of hollow and far away. I tried to get to the bed. I needed to get there fast.

“My heart is... I’m going to…” I couldn’t even finish a sentence.

Dr Starrick immediately reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small Injectorgun. “I had this sedative prepared, just in case,” he told me, and pushed it against the side of my neck.

I could sort of feel the weird cold sensation as the contents transferred into my vein. My hands and feet were numb. Everything was fading away. His voice was far-off, like he was moving away from me.

One of my last thoughts was that he was an i***t. I didn’t need a sedative when I was on the verge of fainting. I didn’t need to be helped into unconsciousness.

Before I could say another word, my legs started to give way. It caused me to twist around as I fell and I could make out a very clouded vision of myself briefly in the mirror – sinking toward the floor. The darkness closed in around me before Dr Starrick could get me back to the bed.