Tamisan and Enigma Box Set

Chapter 3

3

“You were in a bad way when you arrived here at the base,” Dr Starrick continued and my stomach sank. “You actually died a short time after your arrival at the base. Your major organs had completely shut down.”

“No!” I blurted out. Dr Starrick stared at me. I didn’t feel bad about my outburst. “No. I don’t believe you! I couldn’t have died. You’re lying!”

“I can assure you, there is no deception–”

“No. I’m here, right here, right now. So don’t even try to tell me that...” I took a huge breath. “Everyone else can’t be dead. It’s not possible. I was only talking to Mosuti and Larissa right before the... the... oh...” I trailed off, feeling nauseous.

“It’s okay. This reaction is to be expected.” Dr Starrick placed a warm hand on my arm in an effort to calm me. It didn’t work. “There’s more,” he added.

My eyes widened as I looked back up at him. More? Then it clicked… Well, of course there’s more to it. I’m alive, aren’t I?

“Try to slow down your breathing. In through the nose and out through the mouth.”

I felt like telling him I was well aware of what to do, but I decided to do as he suggested. I concentrated on the mirror on the far wall, trying desperately not to think of what had happened in the jungle.

Once I’d calmed down enough, he told me they discovered that my brain still showed signs of activity, so they kept the life support going. The only way to save me and the very essence of who I was was to find a suitable body and attempt a procedure he had mastered many years before – the Eibhlin Process.

My chest tightened and I felt a zing of adrenalin rush through me. I’d heard of this procedure before. Originally, it started out as a complicated technique that had been developed to help patients with severe brain damage. Scientists discovered that they could map out the damaged areas of the brain and replace the thought patterns with new ones from another person’s brain. In most cases, it worked well. It was a revolutionary procedure that enabled many people to again live a normal, happy life.

Then a group of scientists found they could modify the process so they could transfer all of someone’s thought patterns and memories to another person’s brain, replacing all of the original patterns. It was like a brain transplant without the dangerous operation and related risks. Their full consciousness was moved across into the other person’s mind.

The modified procedure – later called the Eibhlin Process – opened up so many possibilities. The option would be open for people to escape a body with failing health, or opt for a younger and/or more attractive body – so it, in effect, made the dream of eternal youth a reality. When a person’s body grew too old, they could simply have their mind transferred into a younger person’s body – and live longer.

In theory, it seemed like a wonderful idea. However, as the consciousness that was transferred to the second person’s brain replaced the original person’s consciousness completely, that person’s mind – and their personality, memories and identity – were wiped from existence. It was basically murder.

This of course meant there were no willing donors and there was almost no legal way of obtaining them. So when there was a dramatic increase in the number of abductions and missing persons, the authorities were forced to put a stop to it. The procedure became outlawed throughout the Known Galaxies.

There were other dilemmas too – moral and spiritual dilemmas – such as the question of what happens to the souls of the two people involved.

It was mind boggling to think about. It was dangerous, morally and ethically wrong, and it caused more problems than it solved. The original procedure was still practiced, of course, as it was still a fantastic medical breakthrough.

I was horrified, “You mean to tell me you did that brain transferral thing on me?” I almost shouted the words.

“Yes, but we had no other choice,” he insisted. “We either attempted the transferral – or we let you die. It was as simple as that.” My chest felt like there was a band around it that was getting tighter by the second. “We had to make a decision fast. We weighed up the risks, and the decision was made. Enough lives were lost already.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but nothing came out. What could I say? I thought about it for a moment. Dr Starrick was right. I wouldn’t be alive if they didn’t act quickly, and I was glad they’d saved my life. But it meant they had basically killed the other person. It went against everything inside of me.

But what could I do? It was too late now – it was done. I was alive, and all I could think was that the cost was too great.

And it meant that I was now a different person. That band pulled tighter and it was getting hard to breathe. I would look completely different. But who was the other person? Who was the donor? The answer hit me like a punch to the gut: Sifayah.

Was Sifayah the body donor? Was I now Sifayah? In her body? Of course I was. It was the only explanation for where all the strange memories came from. They weren’t implanted – they were already there. They were supposed to be totally replaced, but had somehow remained.

Something must have gone wrong. So much for him ‘mastering’ the technique! He had failed miserably in wiping out all the donor’s memories.

I wondered if he could fix it – then I wouldn’t have all those confusing memories scrambled up with my own. But maybe that wouldn’t be a good idea. He could make things worse. I didn’t want him to go messing around with my brain some more. I would have to learn to live with the weird memories. It shouldn’t be too hard to tell them apart from my own, once I’d had a chance to sort things out in my head.

My chest tightened even more and I didn’t think that was possible. All the things he’d told me were starting to sink in. I was now another person. But not just any person – I was an alien! Sifayah was an alien from a barbaric and primitive planet. A jungle planet. Just like this planet.

I wouldn’t be able to go home and carry on with my life as if nothing had happened if I wasn’t even human. I could not even hope to live life as Zhenna Rhodarma, nor could I pass myself off as Sifayah. Not that I wanted to live among the Waikari people for the rest of whatever.

What kind of life would I have now? What was I going to do? I would have to start my life again somewhere else – as someone else. I wondered why people would want to do this to themselves. Why people paid top credits for it. Maybe they wanted to get away and start again. If that were the case, it would have been their choice, but I didn’t choose this.

A thought struck me. This was the reason my voice sounded different. It was Sifayah’s voice!

This was too incredible to believe. I realised I was trembling. I felt my face with my hands and caught a glimpse of something black out of the corner of my eye. I turned to see long black hair cascading down my back. I quickly brought a handful of hair around to the front so I could see it more clearly, and it was so long that it reached the blanket that was covering my legs.

I was reminded of how much I had admired Larissa’s long white waterfall of hair on the trip here. I couldn’t help staring at it and wishing my own hair was longer. Now mine was like that – flowing like a river over my shoulder. Just jet black instead of white. It was so dark it appeared bluish where the light touched it.

This could not be happening, I thought desperately as my heartbeat picked up again. It must be a trick or a practical joke.

Tears welled up in my eyes, but I blinked them back so they wouldn’t fall. My next thought was to get to the mirror. I wanted to see myself – my mind was refusing to believe this could be real. Holding my hands up in front of me, I was shocked to find a pair of slender, well-tanned hands instead of my own fair-skinned ones. (But in Sifayah’s memory, these were her hands.) It was hard to see them clearly through the tears, but I could see enough.

It seemed so unreal, but it was real. I was really in someone else’s body!

I looked up at Dr Starrick and tried to keep a rein on my thoughts and emotions. My mind was racing, trying to take in what was happening. My heart beat faster and it still felt like it was beating kind of erratically. Maybe my new heart had a problem… I frowned... Maybe this body was old... Maybe it had major health problems...

Dr Starrick gestured toward the mirror, “Go on. Go and see what you look like. I think you’ll like what you see.”

But I already know, I thought wildly as I looked across to the mirror in anticipation. But still, I just had to see.

I flung the blanket aside. Carefully swinging my tanned legs over the edge of the bed and sliding off onto the floor, I sensed the muscles in my new body were firm and taut, though they were a bit stiff, probably from lying in bed too long. For a moment or two, it was difficult to stand and I shifted my weight from one foot to the other in an attempt to work out the stiffness.

Wiping my eyes with the backs of my hands so I could see properly, I looked up at Dr Starrick again. “How long have I been unconscious?”

He paused as if calculating the time took a lot of effort, “It has been three days since you were attacked in the jungle and we had you Transferred within the first two hours.” He seemed very proud of that fact. Then he added, “I think the reason you were out for so long was because of the trauma you suffered from the events in the jungle. And so your muscles wouldn’t deteriorate while you were inactive, we have been administering a rigorous physiotherapy program...”

He kept rambling on, but I tuned him out as I made my way to the mirror and stood in front of the opaque glass for a moment. I drew in my breath and let it out slowly before waving my hand in front of the sensor to activate the mirror. It flashed to life and the vision of a strange woman wearing a white robe appeared before me.

I caught my breath and goose bumps spread across my skin. The woman before me was fairly short, slim and well-tanned with very long black hair. It flowed over her shoulder - my shoulder - from when I’d pulled it forward and it came down to my hips. I thought again of how it looked like a waterfall. A black velvet waterfall.

It’s beautiful! And it’s so long!

Then I remembered to breathe.