Secrets I've Held in My Heart

Chapter 9 : Ava

As Christian stood, an enigmatic smile gracing his lips, the room seemed to hold its breath. His every movement exuded a sense of calm authority despite the chaos of the situation. He approached Jonas and deftly removed the cloth that had silenced him.

The moment Jonas was free to speak, he didn't hold back. His words dripped with anger and defiance as he spat out, "f**k you, Christian."

Christian didn't say anything in return. Instead, he let out a chuckle, leaving me to wonder about the emotions hidden beneath his composed exterior. With an air of nonchalance, he casually pocketed his hands and began to make his way toward the door. Kai, his unwavering loyalty evident, opened the door for Christian, who vanished beyond it, leaving behind a sense of intrigue and unanswered questions.

The room was left in an uncomfortable hush, a void filled with unspoken questions, leaving Jonas, Kai, and me to grapple with the enigma that Christian had cast upon us.

As I struggled to regain my footing, the weakness that had plagued my body became evident. I managed to get out of bed, but the effort left me feeling unsteady. Kai, ever the attentive aide, moved toward me, offering a helping hand. However, I halted him with a raised palm, signaling that I needed a moment.

I made my way toward Jonas without needing any assistance. Kai, who had previously been stationed by the door, now stood beside Jonas, his posture disciplined and respectful, head bowed and hands clasped together. It was clear that Christian's penchant for discipline had left its mark, and I couldn't help but wonder if this trait extended to his secretary as well.

Turning my gaze to Jonas, a whirlwind of emotions flooded my eyes – despair, curiosity, and a host of unanswered questions. Before I could find the words to address him, I redirected my attention to Kai and expressed my gratitude. "Kai, thank you for your help. But for now, please excuse us. I'd like to have a private conversation with Jonas."

Kai complied without uttering a word. He retrieved earpods from his pocket, placed them in his ears, and moved toward the door but didn't exit. Instead, he positioned himself right beside the door within my room. His facial expression remained unmoving, resembling that of an unfeeling statue. This made him blend into the room like a piece of decor rather than a living person.

I felt a growing need for privacy, and even though Kai stood as still as a statue, I couldn't be certain whether he was truly engrossed in his earpods or merely putting them on for appearances.

I was on the verge of asking him to vacate the room properly when Jonas interjected. "Save your energy," he advised, his tone laden with knowledge and a hint of resignation. "Kai is Christian's loyal pet, and before entering your room, I've heard Christian commanding him not to stray from your side as long as I'm present around you." Jonas turned his gaze toward Kai, who stood there like a silent sentinel. "What he did just now, that's likely the extent of what he can do. He won't go any further than that."

I glanced at Kai briefly, my unwarranted doubts about him fading away. It became clear that Kai's loyalty was steadfast, and his decision to wear earpods appeared genuine, signifying his respect for our privacy. With my suspicions put to rest, I shifted my attention back to Jonas. "So, now you're finally ready to talk to me?" I asked.

"Talk? After what you did? No way!" Jonas replied with a hint of bitterness.

"Then why are you here?" I questioned, competing with his bitter reply.

"Just look at me," he implored. Jonas directed his gaze at his own disheveled appearance and then back at me. His frustration was evident. "Do I seem like I want to be here?" He closed the distance between us, prompting Kai to instinctively draw nearer. Jonas stopped and looked at Kai with exasperation. "Oh, for God's sake, you German Shepherd. I'm not going to harm her. I would never harm her." He emphasized the last word with a burst of aggression. "I love her, you stupid."

His final words struck a chord, transporting me back to a time when we were deeply connected, when I had longed for a future as Ava Jonas Forbes, yearning for our happily ever after.

A torrent of emotions surged within me, and I found myself unable to contain the tumult. My voice quivered with a mixture of anger, hurt, and skepticism as I confronted Jonas. "You claim to love me," I began, my voice trembling, "yet you still abandoned me on the day of our wedding." The memory of that heart-wrenching moment was still etched in my mind, its pain as raw as ever. "And when you seemingly regretted your decision, you returned, pretending to be injured, with a cast on your hand."

My gaze fixated on his hand, which should have been encased in a cast. Instead, it was tied behind him, revealing a stark contrast to the story he had presented. Suspicion gnawed at me, intensifying the storm of emotions that churned within my heart.

"I'm not faking my injury." Jonas asserted, his voice tinged with frustration. "My hand still needs a cast, and—"

"Then why isn't it there on your hand?" I interjected, my skepticism surfacing, my brows furrowing in confusion.

"Because of your so-called best friend-c*m-husband," Jonas replied with a hint of aggression, his eyes flashing with a mixture of anger and helplessness.

"What?" My confusion deepened, my voice edged with disbelief.

"That man is crazy. You have no idea what he did to me," Jonas continued, his words laden with accusation and resentment. "He's supposed to be my half-brother, but today, he was a full devil in front of me. He callously removed my cast just to verify and make sure my injury was real and that I wasn't faking it. I pleaded with him to take me to the doctor for confirmation, but he dismissed it, claiming that doctors' statements could be bought with money. He's a heartless, cruel monster."

A smirk involuntarily crossed my lips as I struggled to believe Jonas's accusations and reconcile them with my perception of Christian. "You don't sound like someone who's been through cruelty. You don't even appear to be in pain," I retorted, my skepticism evident in my tone.

Jonas retorted, his voice tinged with frustration, "Of course not, because I'm on drugs." His eyes met mine, revealing a complicated mix of emotions - anger, betrayal, and pain. "That son of a b***h gave me a massive dose of painkillers once he confirmed that I wasn't pretending my injury."

"No…" I shook my head in disbelief, my voice filled with denial. "Christian can't do it. He isn't that cruel as you're claiming. I don't believe you."

Jonas's eyes flashed with frustration as he retorted, "Don't believe me, the living man speaking in front of you. But believe that damn text message, which God knows who sent to drive us apart." His tone carried a bitter taunt.

"Wait, you mean you didn't send that text message to me?" I asked, a glimmer of hope mixed with confusion in my voice.

"No! A hundred times f*****g NO, damn it!" Jonas exclaimed, his frustration palpable. "I've been saying this all day. Christian has asked me more than a million times, and no matter how many times he or you ask me, my answer won't change because that's the truth." He paused for a moment to catch his breath before continuing with determination. "I. DIDN'T. SEND. YOU. THAT. TEXT. MESSAGE." His voice was resolute, emphasising his sincerity. My eyes held a disbelieving look, tinged with a hint of vulnerability and regret, seeking confirmation from him.

"Yes," he replied, addressing the unspoken question in my eyes. "I wanted to surprise you, Ava." He began to explain. "I had planned to surprise you by bringing Medusa Huston as the chief guest to our wedding. I was on my way to the airport to pick her up when I had that accident. As for the text message? Well, my love, I was in a coma for a whole week. Forgot about texting, I couldn't even open my eyes."

The mystery deepened as I pondered his words. "If you didn't send it, then who did?" I asked, my curiosity growing, my heart torn between skepticism, a lingering regret, and a glimmer of hope that perhaps there was more to this puzzle, a chance that our love story wasn't entirely shattered.

"I don't know. Maybe someone who doesn't want us to be together. Maybe Chris—"

"No!" I interrupted, vehemently denying his assumption. "Christian would never do that. I can bet my life on that."

"Of course you would," Jonas nodded sadly, a bitter smile playing on his lips, hinting at the pain he carried. "After all, he is your husband."

"Jonas," I began, searching for the right words to console him. However, a heavy silence fell between us, unexpectedly deafening, drowning us in the tangled emotions we both shared.

"Leave it. I don't care what happened in the past. I just care about what you want now in the present and tomorrow for the future," he said earnestly, his voice trembling with emotion. "Tell me, Ava. Do you love Christian? Do you see him as your husband? Do you want to be his wife?"

His questions, seemingly simple yes-no inquiries, were, in reality, the most complex questions of my life. I couldn't say yes and couldn't say no either, especially not after everything that had transpired between me and Christian.

"Seems like this question is too heavy," Jonas remarked, a tear escaping from his eye, its journey down his cheek marked by a glistening trail. "Let me simplify it for you, and I beg you," he pleaded, his voice cracking with raw emotion. "I beg you, Ava. Please answer honestly. Do you still love me?"

I'm supposed to say NO, and I would have said it if he hadn't insisted on an honest answer. Because the painful truth is, I still love him. Even when I thought he betrayed me, my love for him never wavered. And now that everything is clear, now that I know that he didn't betray me, how can I not love him?

My voice quivered with a mixture of guilt and regret as I continued, "Yes," I finally admitted, the weight of my confession heavy on my heart, "I still love you, Jonas," I replied, shamelessly, despite the wedding ring bearing Christian's name on my finger.

To be continued…