Secrets I've Held in My Heart

I'M THE HAPPIEST WOMAN on Earth, why shouldn't I be? After all, I'm getting married to the one and only person I love and want to marry. Oh my goodness! The excitement coursing through me is absolutely electrifying. In just thirty short minutes, my lifelong happily-ever-after will begin. By the way, I must give credit to Christian. Without him, I might have made a grave mistake by marrying the wrong person. SIX MONTHS PRIOR TO MY WEDDING… "So, we have a deal?" Christian's father, Alfred Forbes, stood up from the couch, radiating a cheerful grin. "Deal, my friend." My dad, Bob Rinehart, rose to his feet, joining in the shared joy.They embraced each other warmly. "What's going on, you two?" I inquired, breaking their embrace. "What kind of scheme are you cooking up?" I raised a playful eyebrow, pretending to be suspicious. A laughter of happiness escaped from Alfred's mouth. "We're plotting to make you my daughter in law." "Wha..at?" My jaw practically dropped at the unexpected revelation. "Yes, what did you think? We would not know about it?" Dad raised an eyebrow playfully. "We know everything." A light pink flush crept into my face. Dad knows everything? Did he mean Jonas and my relationship? Omg! Dad knows about us? And, he is okay with it? "I'm happy that you've chosen my son. To be honest, you were betrothed to him, but nowadays, it's an old-fashioned tradition, and we didn't wanna pressure you, so we dropped it." "Nevertheless, we're thrilled that you've chosen him. Believe me, dear, your decision has given me immense happiness. I can finally rest in peace—" "Dad! Please don't talk about things like that. You're not leaving us anytime soon. I won't allow it." I slipped into his arms, not wanting to entertain thoughts of his departure. Dad had once suffered a heart attack, which made him apprehensive about his health. He often spoke about mortality, and it scared me. I loved my dad deeply, and I'd do anything to extend his life, even if it meant a single additional second. I've heard him sobbing late at night. Dad never openly expresses it, but I know every tear he sheds is for my brother, Noah. Noah had been set to marry Alfred's daughter, Rosa, but the storyline took a twist—Pretty Women Alert! He fell in love with a hooker and evolved to get married. When dad heard about it, he couldn't take the news lightly—how could he?—and it was the moment when he encountered his first heart attack. "Oh, my dear Ava." He enveloped me in a tender embrace, his fingers threading through my hair. "You've made me so proud, my daughter. Choosing Christian—" "What?" I pulled away abruptly. "What do you mean, 'choosing Christian'?" "Christian! Your best friend." Dad and Alfred exchanged a glance. "We've heard you, my dear. You confessed your love for him." "When did I say that?" I queried. "I love you, Christian Forbes. You're breathtaking." Dad mimicked my voice with a playful twinkle in his eye. He romantically draped an arm around my neck and mimicked again, "God! I can't imagine my life without you." Stepping back, he added in his own voice, "Amanda's engagement party, does that ring a bell?" Oh, yeah. I do remember it. That time, Christian saved me from a huge embarrassment. AT AMANDA'S ENGAGEMENT PARTY… I forgot to zip the back of my dress and was walking with my dress wobbling at my bare back. Christian grabbed my arm and pulled me aside. "Care to join me for a moment, Ms. Rinehart." Startled, my heart skipped a beat at his sudden move. We stood close, so close that I could feel his heartbeat and catch the faint scent of his cologne—cool, rich, and spicy. "What... are you doing, Mr. Forbes?" His fingers traced my back, and a small gasp escaped me as his cool touch met my warm skin. Skillfully, he zipped up my dress, and my heartbeat accelerated. "How will you live in this cruel world without me?" "I—" I inhaled sharply as our eyes locked. His eyes, a blend of calming blue, like a serene sea on a clear day, combined with a touch of intense grey that mirrored the stormy skies, capturing a range of emotions within their depths were sparking an electric current throughout my body. "I'll...umm…" God! Why is he looking so good? Was he always this handsome, or did he do something special today? Before I could form a coherent response, he drew nearer, his breath brushing against my skin. He lowered his head toward my earlobe, and I squeezed my eyes shut, clutching my dress. In a hushed voice, he murmured, "I win the bet. I got you. I won the bet. I took your breath, didn't I?" I pushed him hard as I remembered about our bet. I had challenged him to mesmerise me, and if he accomplished his challenge then, I'll tell him that I love him and would accept the fact that he's breathtaking. "You're wicked, Forbes." I retorted, the frustration of losing evident in my voice. He grinned victoriously, remarking, "That's not quite the term, moonlight." His triumphant smile remained as he continued, "Now, live up to your promise, Rinehart." That bastard! I gave him a sarcastic smile and said, "I love you, Christian Forbes. You're breathtaking." Playing along, I draped my arms around his neck and dramatically declared, "God! I can't imagine my life without you." He laughed heartily, savoring his triumph. I then pushed him away as I completed my dare. ——————— To be honest, yes, I had indeed uttered those words that my dad had cited. Yet, it wasn't meant romantically. Sure, for a fleeting instant, he had made my heart race and my breath catch, but it was simply infatuation. I was single that time, and it happened because he was determined to seduce me. But we both know we don't look at each other in that way. And the "I love you" part, I meant it as a friend. We're just teasing each other, and it was just a dare. I truly do love him, but just. As. A. Friend. And I agree that my life is literally impossible without him. As a normal best friend, sometimes he can be really annoying, but whenever I'm in a problem, he is always there with a solution. He is my personal guardian angel, but that doesn't mean I'll marry him. "But dad… I can't—" Before I could say anything, a drop of tears escaped from his eye. "Finally, now I can keep my promise to your mom. Alfred and I'll get promoted from friends to relatives." He cupped my shoulders and added, "I'm so proud of you, my love. I'm so proud of you. I'm happy that you'll marry Christian. Trust me, he has all the qualities of the best husband. He'll take good care of you, my love. He'll take good care of you…" Dad tapped my shoulder in appreciation. Dad was so overjoyed. I couldn't bring myself to interrupt his happiness, even if it meant keeping my true feelings at bay. How could I break his heart now? I don't know how to tell him that I loved Jonas, not Christian. Jonas and I were in a secret relationship for the past few months. SECRET because Jonas is everything that my dad hates. He has tattoos, and dad hates the guy with the tattoo. He rides a bike, and dad hates bikers. He was a certified playboy, and my dad believes in being one woman's man. However, dad just tolerates him because he is uncle Alfred's son and Christian's stepbrother. God! How can I forget that moment when dad knew about Jonas' truth? Thinking about that day still gives me goosebumps. I was sixteen when, after Christian's mom's death, Alfred married Martha, and that's how Jonas entered our lives. He was a complete bad boy, and all of us hated his rude behaviour. One day, he had an argument with Alfred, and he shocked all of us when he revealed a nasty, big fat truth. Martha and Alfred had an affair when Christian's mom was pregnant with Christian. Dad and Alfred might be friends, but we lived together in the same mansion as a family. And when dad heard about Alfred's affair, our family was near to doom. Dad was all packed and ready to leave the BARF (Bob and Alfred's Rinehart and Forbes) mansion. However, Christian convinced my dad and saved our family. He has always been mature and responsible from childhood. Dad loves him, which was why he forgave Alfred, and they became friends again. FIVE MONTHS & TWO WEEKS BEFORE MY WEDDING… I tried and tried but whenever I saw my dad's face sparkling with happiness, my tongue paralyzed and I couldn't object to his decision, which is why I'm quietly staring at the moon from my window, all dressed up in a beautiful purple gown, engraved with golden wires and diamonds. This gown is the most expensive gown among the 'Beautiful Tears' collections. I've been using all my connections to get this limited edition, but Christian bought it before me. He bought this as my engagement present. Everyone thinks I'm lucky to get a husband like Christian, I won't deny them, Christian is indeed DIAMOND. Whoever marries him, she'll be the world's luckiest wife. However, I'm so in love with a COAL that I would rather eat each and every bad luck in this world, just to be his and to make him mine. *MY PHONE BUZZED* "Hell—" "What the f**k is happening there, Ava?" My heart ached in the response of the voice on the other side of the phone. He was yelling but his voice was weak. He was weak. WEAK due to fear of losing his love. I can relate to him because that's how I'm feeling right now. That's how our heart is feeling right now. "I'm getting engaged to Christian." I somehow managed to say those words as a drop of tear escaped from my eye. "NO! You can't marry him. You're mine, Ava. Only mine." He sniffed. "f**k! I'm coming back and taking what's mine. I should have never left you—" I hung up the call when I heard Christian's voice. "Hey, why is it so dark here?" I wiped my tears and turned back to him. It was all dark in my room and all I could see was the dark shape of his body. Tall, fit and well sculpted. "Turn on the lights, dude." "Okay…" He turned on the lights. "How do I look?" "Very dashing," I brought an appreciative smile, in spite of the pain in my heart and disappointment in my brain. I wasn't disappointed in Christian. God forbid, I can never be disappointed in him. He is my guardian angel, if I'm Cinderella then he's my fairy Godmother. I was just disappointed with my fate. "Hey, is everything okay?" He knelt before the couch I was sitting on and cupped my chin. "Look at me." He lifted my chin until our eyes met with each other. I'm trying my best to control my tears. I really am, but Christian's eyes are like my truth syrup. I can't lie or hide my feelings when I look into his intense blue eyes. I don't even need to speak a word, he'll understand me without me uttering any words. "You're not happy with this engagement?" he asked, a line of doubt appearing between his brows. "NO…" Finally, I felt way lighter when I said the word. "Then why did you say YES for the marriage?" He looked at my eyes in search of answers and then grabbed my hand. "Let's go, let's tell uncle Bob about this." "No, I can't." I yanked my hand from his grasp. "But, why? You're clearly not ready for this relationship. We can talk to uncle Bob and ask for more time. I'm sure he'll understand." "It's not about time… " Tears started flowing on my cheeks. "It's about me." "Hey, shush…" He wiped the tears from my cheeks. "It's okay. Whatever it is, we'll talk to your dad, he loves you and I'm sure he'll understand." "He won't." I shook my head. "He'll, Ava. Uncle Bob loves you. He'll understand you." "He won't, incase of Jonas." "Excuse me?" A furrow of confusion crept into his forehead. "Jonas? What does he have to do with this?" News about me and Jonas being together is like news about floods in the desert. No one—including Christian—no one would've expected this from us. If we were a book then our love story would fall under the 'enemies to lovers' genre. I was sure Christian would get a huge shock when he heard about us. So, I held his hand to brace him and revealed, "Jonas and I, we love each other." "What?" His face went pale. I can barely find any colours on his face. "Yes, I love Jonas. I know we used to hate each other, but I don't know when that hate turned into deep and unconditional love." "But… he—he's a bad boy. You're aware of him." "I know, he WAS a bad boy. But, he left everything for me. He doesn't smoke, he doesn't ride bikes anymore, he doesn't fight and he doesn't even look at other girls." I squeezed his hand. "He has changed, Christian. He is working hard to be a good boy. Remember last month? He suddenly took on the Thailand project and when I asked you about him, you said he has been working very hard. He was doing all this for us. He wants to impress my dad, that's why he's transforming himself into a responsible person." "If you love him so much and he's working hard for you, then you must inform your dad about him." "I tried… but I failed. He was so happy I wouldn't dare to snatch it from him. He loves me alot, Christian and I don't wanna be the one who breaks his heart." I can't be, but Christian can. An idea popped in my head, if Christian will say NO to the marriage then dad won't feel that bad. "Christian, I need a favour." He exhaled deep and asked, "What do you want me to do?" "I want you to cancel the engagement. I'm sure you must have dreams about your future wife and I'm not even in a side role in your dream. I know, you don't love me either. So, PLEASE tell the truth to my dad. Dad was completely broken when Noah betrayed him and married Lottie without his permission. If I'll deny him then he'll think none of his children trust his decision enough." Suddenly those nasty tears started to fall again when a flash of dad's disappointed face came in front of me. "Please, help me, Christian. Please." "Hey…." He cupped my chin as he tilted his head at my eye level. "God! From where do you bring this much tears?" He wiped away my tears. "Looks like you've taken the title of this dress seriously," he said as he slowly wiped a fresh tear that crawled down to my lips. "Beautiful Tears." "Will you talk to my dad?" I asked. "Yes, I'll." He smiled and blinked. "I'll do anything for you." THE SAME DAY, A FEW MINUTES LATER… Sitting on my couch, I couldn't help but gaze at the moon. Its pale light streamed through the window. The seconds ticked by slowly as I waited for Christian's decision on the engagement. Each moment seemed to stretch on forever, tension building with every passing minute. My heart raced, mirroring the uncertainty of the situation, while the moon hung in the sky like a silent spectator, its presence somehow magnifying the weight of the impending choice. My heart raced as the echoes of Alfred's raised voice reached my ears. "What do you mean you don't want this engagement?" his words pierced through the air, carrying a storm of emotions. Oh, god! Why is he yelling at Christian? Is it because he cancelled the engagement? I'd never thought uncle Alfred would ever yell at Christian for that. With a mix of worry and curiosity, I hastily stood up from the couch and hurried toward Christian's room, the urgency of the situation propelling me forward. To be continued…