Someone I'm Not

10 [pt.3] Triggering A Fragmented Past

"You're with my sister, Mister. And it would be totally respectful if you show a bit of kindness to me instead of flirting with me." Vianne gritted her teeth, showing a hint of disappointment in her tone, her gaze, and her body movement. And if there is something she hates about men, it is that they tend to hit on two girls as if it makes them cool. But for her, they only make themselves less of a proper man who almost girls have tasted. But then, Eduardus didn't give up on it. He is more persistent than he was, and this feeling is just new to him. . . VERY NEW.

"You know what—"

"What if I tell you that we are not together?" He wanted to contain himself. He tried to hide it. But this feeling he's feeling is more robust than he anticipated. It is as if he never felt so alive until today. Until he gets to talk to him, for some unknown reason, he could feel a small fraction of human senses that he thought was already gone because what would a guardian expect?

He was surprised at the woman standing in front of her. Vianne didn't flinch nor blink. She just stood there, too surprised to even predict what her next word or her following action will be. And Eduardus thought this is a perfect moment to continue. He is getting serious with it, even if it is just for a short time.

"I know this is so sudden, but would you believe me if I say that I've got my eyes on you?"

If Vianne were exaggerating right now, she would describe her heart skipping a bit. But she knew that's too impossible, or she would have died already. Her eyes are wide open, more expansive than earlier. She couldn't seem to process everything. . . yet.

'Him? Liking me? But—' instead of reacting the way a woman should respond, such as blush, giggle, or even admit to the guy that she had the exact thought as the man is, she didn't like doing it. Instead, Vianne was more surprised to feel her hands like they have their own brain. Her hand freely and directly flew across his face, slapping him on his right cheek. As her hand collides with his skin, she starts to feel guilty. She wanted to say she's sorry, and she tried to turn back time and stop herself from doing it. But then, she can't.

"I—"

*Ring! Ring! Ring!*

It was as if on cue, a phone chime that interrupted the moment. Both of them flinch to the reality that someone is trying to connect to one of them that made them cut their gaze at each other and look for their phones. As Vianne laid eyes on her phone, she exactly knew that it was Eduardus's phone who ringed. Disappointment instantly fastened on her face as Eduardus shift his gaze at her. The way he looks at her made her know who the person is. She gulps her saliva as she waited for Eduardus to do something. Then, he decided to retake a glance at his screen.

'sh*t!'  Vianne curses to herself before Eduardus returns his look at her before answering the phone, keeping eye contact.

"I'm kind of busy right now—" but then, he was cut off shortly. Just for Vianne to hear her sister's voice over the other line makes her feel like her heart has been stabbed all over again, receiving hundreds of stab wounds, enough to kill her soul. She scoffs at how stupid her feelings were, but she knew she could not deny that she DO have feelings already.

'Turn your f*cking back at him and walk away. Because if you don't, you might NOT be able to.' She thought to herself before she took the courage and turned her back on him, hearing him continue his conversation.

[Okay, fine! I'll be there by fifteen. Just wait there.]

She chuckles just by hearing him say that. Not that she's selfish, probably because she's getting bitter.

"F*ck you."

•••

"Did you know how much you had ruined a moment forms when you called? You're so at bad timing, bro!" Soroya turns around when she hears someone from behind. It turns out that it was Eduardus who had his eyebrows fixed, almost colliding at the center, a frown, and a killer gaze.

"What did you say? I didn't quite get what you said." She says as she waited for him to stop right in front of her. "What's with the face, Guardian Ed?" She asks that made him intake sharply before talking.

"We should frankly tell her already." He says that makes her eyebrow raised. It was a mere phrase, and that it brought more curiosity than she expected.

"Tell who?"

"Your sister, obviously." He says as he dusts off his shoulder. Worried quickly shows on her face.

"Why? I thought we should keep our REAL identity a secret? Won't she freak out if she were to find out that the person manipulating her sister's body is her best friend— ow!" He starts to panic, making Eduardus roll his eyes before smacking her at the back of her head.

"Since when did I tell you that we are telling her about the REAL us? Are you stupid, deaf, or both?" He asks with a hint of sarcasm and irritation.

"Well, you still don't have the right to hit me just because you're my guardian!" She hisses back as she massages her back portion of her head. "Then what do you mean by telling her the truth then?" Eduardus shoots her a glare.

"You're seriously asking me that?" He asks that made her shoot a glare back at him.

"Well, it wasn't my fault you continue giving me fragmented sentences. You could be at least be clearer, no?" She says as she fixes her hair. "So, are you going to explain to me properly, or should I just try and guess everything else?" She asks with such annoyance that made him look away from her stare, as he feels his cheeks warms. Soroya's eyes widen, making her get what he is trying to say.

"Oh my goodness." She started as her mouth was agape open. "You like Vianne already, don't you?"

Bingo! It is as if he hit the jackpot, Eduardus's cheeks got redder that made her laugh for a second.

"Of course I don't!" Eduardus denied, even if he knows how obvious he already is. "And this is just new to me." He explains before Soroya's smile turned upside down.

"Then are you trying to say that you've never been in love?"

In love. . . in love. . . in love. . . That word was like on repeat on Eduardus's head before he feels a heavyweight in his head. He starts to bend down as he feels like his world is collapsing, making him grip onto her shoulder.

"Hey, are you okay, guardian Ed?" Her words were like an echo that he feels like being pulled far away. He tightened his grip on her shoulder for support, but enough pressure to make her whim in pain. "Ow! Guardian Ed, please stop if this is just a prank? I am starting to panic. Guardian Ed?" Guard—"

As he closes his eyes, trying to figure out how to endure the pain, he tried his best to open his eyes, but he cannot. . . And suddenly, Eduardus hears a voice that he couldn't determine who.

"Welcome to the world, baby!" He immediately opens his eyes, only to gaze in front of him, two adults who are very pleased to see him.

"Isn't he so pretty?" The man says as she lays him down entirely on the woman's arms. His touch is warm and comforting like he has never felt before.

"Oh my goodness, he just looks like me!" The woman exclaims despite showing signs of tiredness. She's wearing white cloth from what Eduardus can see, but he cannot still determine where he is.

"His lips and eyes and nose? Isn't that called perfection?" He tries his best to talk, but only crimes came out of his mouth. He feels too tiny from his situation, but even though he feels that way, he likes the warmth and attention.

"What should we name him then?" That question got him hooked up. Who am I right now?

"How about, Edward Renz?"

"Eduardus!" His vision was like being pulled at the back of his head as his vision comes back to reality. He gasped for air as he regains the truth around, but for some reason, he starts to doubt it already. Eduardus falls on his butt after pushing Soroya away from him. The woman stares at her with concern and worry, not knowing what exactly she has to do.

"Thank goodness! Luckily I decided to hit you in the head so you would stop." Soroya chuckles as she reaches her hand out for him.

"Do you think I was joking?" Eduardus asks with a straight face, making Soroya blink three times.

"Aren't you?. Now, how about we go? You're treating me again this time." She says as she pats him into his shoulder and walks past him. . . Soroya knew he wasn't lying because it was too evident at his expression that something happened. But, she doesn't want to predict yet, making her tell him what she needed for him to hear. On the other hand, Eduardus also decided to keep things between him and his consciousness.

"Yeah, you're right. I was just kidding."

•••

As soon as Eduardus drives her home, Soroya stayed inside her room as she waits for a message. It was just ten o'clock in the morning when her sister comes back from the market. Seconds later, she hears consecutive rapid knocks from her door.

"Hey, do you mind helping me out on the groceries? They're so heavy." She says that she makes her nod and stand up quickly from her bed and walk towards the door, still clenching her phone in her hand.

"Oh, thank goodness! I thought you're not going to open it. . . Like what you always do." She says before moving out in front of her and walking towards the door where the big plastic bags are placed. She hurries there as she helps her carry one of the bags, as Vianne takes the other. As Soroya hears the door slamming shut, she soon places the big plastic bag on top of the kitchen, followed by her sister.

"Thanks. . . You can just go now if you're doing something." She says as she turns her back on her, taking control over the big plastic bags filled with meat and fish, vegetables, and other spices. Soroya looks at her with an inquisitive look, but she decided to stay.

"I'm not doing anything so. . ." she says as she pulls the other plastic bag filled with soaps and shampoos. Vianne halts as she eyed her mysteriously. It didn't take long for Soroya to feel her staring at her. "What?" She chuckles as she takes the items one by one. Vianne averted her eyes back to the meat she's about to clean.

"Nothing. . . it's just. . ." she wasn't convinced of what is happening that made her stop almost immediately and turn her gaze at her sister again, who is starting to place the soap and powder on the hanging cabinet. "Do you need something?" She straightforwardly asks that made Soroya place the items in their designated places before turning around.

"What? I don't need anything. . . Well, at least not right now." Soroya answers calmly as she takes out another stuff and places it on the hanging cabinet.

"It's just that. . . You're not like this, and I find it too odd that for the FIRST TIME of your life, you're the one volunteering yourself." She explains as she works on cleaning the fish.

'Oh right, I almost forgot I'm just taking over Soroya's body.' Phoenix talks to herself. Just then, he switches back to being Soroya, smiling at Vianne. "Maybe I just happen to be bored today, that's why." She managed to reply, hoping Vianne would buy it.

"Okay? If you say so." She says before silence fills the air again. Although the silence is suffocating both of them, Vianne's mind couldn't seem to shut up. She wanted to open her mouth and ask Soroya about everything, but she's afraid she might get disappointed.

'Would you believe me if I say that I've got my eyes on you?'

•••

22:05

Phoenix couldn't decide just yet. Knowing how far have they become as friends are something that he couldn't seem to throw away. But her telling him that he's in danger base on her dreams? Wouldn't it bring suspicion into his mind as if the truth was corrupted with sweet lies that he cannot seem to tell if she's honestly telling the truth or not?

Yes, he's been hurt because of her. Twice as he counts. One was the reality that Soroya almost didn't approve of him going away for college because of their set of rules that has been nearly forgotten over the past few years of friendship. CHANGE is undoubtedly the only constant thing happening in this world, but can you blame someone who became too attached to these rules?

Maybe because Soroya's just about to go to college next year, Soroya is only a year younger than him, and it almost crushed their friendship into thin air when they separated. Still, just when he came back in hopes to talk to Soroya, he found her sitting across a man he has never seen before? And that causes his 2nd pain of heart— its because he loved her already. . . More than just a friend. But he doesn't want to make her feel betrayed about it. That is why he decided to push his emotions away. But the more he tries to get rid of it, the more it becomes stronger.

And now, he is being tested. Should he trust her because Soroya is his friend? Or should he not after she had two strikes of hurting his feelings, unconsciously?

23:45

It was almost quarter to twelve, and she's still waiting for his reply.

"Urgh, please even just a smiley face so that I have an assurance that you trust me?" She mumbles to herself as she continuously scrolls up and down from her i********:. Phoenix's soul, on the other hand, is getting more and more irritated as time ticks by. He didn't know that his old self could be as stubborn and cold as he is witnessing today, but he's not ready to give up. And he cannot give up on himself.

"Soroya?" She then turns her attention as she feels Vianne shifting her body weight to face her. She is currently wearing her favorite dark green silk terno pajamas that she had just bought at a thrift shop. "Aren't you going to sleep yet?" With her eyes closed, she asks that made her realize how sleepy she sounds like. Soroya then replies with a small smile.

"Did I wake you up?" She asks that made her half-consciously nod. "I guess I said that out loud, huh?"

"Just. . . Don't wait for someone to reply when they won't? If that's Eduardus, don't wait for him already and dump him! He seems like a playboy. And I'm telling you, if he's ever going to hurt you in the end, don't come running to me and tell me that 'I wish I just listened to you in the first place.' Kind of thing." She says that made her jaw dropped. She didn't expect Vianne to say that, but at least, she got to see her normal side, and not that too coped up with work and sh*ts. And before Soroya could even reply, Vianne turns her back on her, over at her original position. Soroya sighs as she looks at her phone screen again.

23:57, and time is already ticking fast.

"Sleep now, Raya," Vianne demands that made her release a long sigh.

"I'll just wait by twelve, and if he doesn't reply, then I will NOT wait for him until tomorrow."

"And dump him tomorrow too, got it?"

She didn't answer her last question. She doesn't want to ruin her sister's sleep by telling her that she's been mouthing the wrong name.

23:58

'Come on. . . I'm still hoping here.' She thought to herself as she feels her eyelids getting heavier. She yawns as she leans her chin down into her forearm as it was perfectly nestled on her light blue pillow that has flowers embroiled all over. Phoenix smiles as he remembers how much Soroya, the body he is possessing, loves flowers so much that he remembered him buying her sets of flowers for his birthday gift.

23:59, and her patience is getting thinner and thinner. Her mind tells her to stay awake, but her body is betraying her already, as it wanted to shut down already and recharge for tomorrow. He needed to wait for one minute before she goes to sleep and do things by herself.

Cring!

Her eyes quickly open wide as she hears her phone chimes. She instantly slides it open as a message from her awaited best friend's name pops up on her screen.

From: P-Nix

To: Raya

I don't know what to believe. . . yet. Your dream seems to be suspicious, but at the same time, I know you're not just a stranger who wanted to get my attention. You're my best friend.

And I'm sorry if. . .

Disappointment quickly draws all over her face, not wanting to continue reading anymore. But then, Phoenix's message deserves to be read since she needed to know what he thinks.

She took a deep breath before squinting her eyes to read the following message, which made her heart thumping real fast and almost skipping a beat.

You'll have to deal with me for the next couple of days because I'm going to believe in this dream of yours. Good night, sorry for keeping you waiting (if you're still waiting for my answer.)

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