Someone I'm Not

10. [pt.2] Temporary Life

[Meanwhile...]

"I'm sorry, Phoenix, but we have to talk right now. This is urgent." She says that makes him turn around. He doesn't want to turn, and he doesn't want to meet her eyes again.

But his heart is betraying him. Phoenix knew that he has his eyes for her best friend for a very long time, but if he shows her that, their friendship will be at risk.

Especially that she introduced a guy named Eduardus yesterday.

"If you're here to explain to me about Eduardus, then I will be honest! I don't trust him, not because I'm jealous or what, but because you introduced him so suddenly, while I was there, feeling so sad that you can't even support me with this school I'm dreaming of. So, how about you cut this sh*t and let me go to where I'm going?" Phoenix from the past didn't turn to face Soroya ultimately. Instead, he turns to his shoulder as he talks.

Soroya cannot lose this chance, or it will be too late again. She doesn't want him to die and not find out who his killer is.

"I can't believe this," Phoenix mumbles under his breath before walking again. Soroya panics as a yellow cab approaches their place, almost immediately. The window from the driver's area rolls down as Phoenix comes to the man as they talk about the place he's going to.

"Okay." She hears the driver says as he gets out of the car. Phoenix hands him his luggage as the driver carries it at the back of the cab. Phoenix opens the door to the back seat as he turns to face Soroya. She sees sadness, pain, and disappointment in it. They stare at each other before he shakes his head lightly and gets inside. The door closes from the back seat as the driver jogs into the driver's area.

'I have to do something now!' Soroya thought to herself. And without prolonging the agony of choosing, her feet move in sync as her hand reaches for the car door handle from the back seat area. When she did, she pulls the door open and decisively slides her way inside, and close the door before the driver could even start driving. Her gaze instantly finds Phoenix (from the past), who is just about to put his earphones on. His eyes find their way to meet hers.

"Hey miss, you can't do that-" she didn't mind the driver who is starting to rant. Right now, what matters most is that she needs to tell him what she wants, and that's it.

"Continue driving, please." She interrupts the driver as she quickly turns her gaze to Phoenix, whose eyes are wide open. "Besides, this guy right here has a train to catch."

The driver looks at Phoenix for his approval, and he nods, even if he's in doubt. Soroya feels the car moving, making her grin from the inside.

  'Yes!'

"What are you doing!? You could have injured yourself or somethingg!" Phoenix instantly closes the gap to search for anything that could have made her condition worse. She froze there as she feels his touch on her arms. Even if Soroya's been possessed by a man, Phoenix from the present could still feel the electricity from it. It's not cringing, but it is something more than that.

The driver continues to check on them from the rearview mirror, having no intention of eavesdropping. In fact, he's feeling the butterflies in his stomach when he sees how concern Phoenix is to Soroya. It made him smile secretly. "Kids." He mumbles under his breath before focusing on the road again.

"Uhm, Phoenix. . ." Soroya breathes out when she noticed that he's starting to exaggerate. "I'm fine. Nothing to worry about." The real Phoenix is flattered. It made him realize how good of a friend he is to Soroya, and it pained him so much that he'll never feel her touch again once these things are over.

"I'm. . . I'm sorry." Phoenix (from the past) composes himself and retrieve his hands away from her arms. He looks at the front, not wanting to look at her.

"Why did you do that?" He asks like he's gone cold already. Soroya felt the pain of his coldness, but that didn't stop her from smiling, knowing that he still cares for him.

"Oh, I just did it because of you." She says that made Phoenix look at her again. His cheeks start to turn light pink, making her chuckle. "You're blushing." She teases.

"N-no, I'm not! It's just got in here." He excuses that made his cheeks even red. She wanted to tease him more, but she doesn't want to waste her time and risk him from getting angrier. So, she raises both of her hands as a sign of defeat.

"Fine, you're not. I'm just teasing you. . . But in serious, P. I'm here because of you, and I'm also serious when I told you that this is urgent."

"Yeah. . . Like when I told you about me going away for college, you didn't bother talking to me for quite long, and that was urgent too." He spat back.

"Look, I know I did that, and I feel horrible for doing it, but can you blame me? We ARE best friends, and you only told that to me when you're about to leave!"

"I'm already telling you when I'm still studying at your university-"

"You told me there's a possibility! There's still no assurances when you said those words."

"You're just too coped up with our rules, Raya-"

"And am I to blame for it? It wasn't me who made those rules. . . Well, maybe half of it! But I didn't make rule #36!"

Phoenix, from the present, being able to possess her best friend's body made him understand a few things today. And that is, she values loyalty and rules so much.

"That's not the point!- you know what? No, I am NOT dealing with you right now-"

"Oh, so you decide to cut me off now instead of hearing me out? Yeah, it doesn't matter who made the rules, you damn it! Because I'm here to tell you that you're in trouble!"

The words finally came out of her mouth. She has been rehearsing inside her mind on what to tell him, now that she's forbidden to say that he is dead and that he's possessing Soroya's body and came back to the past. No, she won't ruin this chance again.

Phoenix felt like there's a knot on his throat that he couldn't seem to respond immediately. Is he in trouble? From who? To where? On what means? How is this possible? All of these questions quickly registered inside his head, feeling scared at the same time.

'Should I rest her? Shat if she's just playing a prank with me? But she seems sincere. And she's my best friend, how could she joke about something serious as this? Or maybe, this is all planned.' He thought to himself.

"I know you won't believe me, but I guess I have to tell you, just in case it'll help." Soroya takes a deep breath before talking again.

"I saw you die." She was expecting him to flinch, to gasp, or any type of reaction that might have got THE Phoenix in front of her. But all he gave her is a straight face.

"You're not going to react? Shouldn't you be worried that someone just told you-"

Phoenix starts laughing that cut her sentence off. Even if he's laughing, she can still sense his sarcasm and fake-ness. She crosses both of her forearms in front of her chest as she raises a brow at him.

"How can you laugh-"

"Stop the act now, Soroya. I already know this is a prank!" He explains.

"A what?"

"You're just doing this to make me mad even more. Why? Is it because I made that rule, and I'm the one who broke it?"

"That is not the point, you dumb b*tch!" She curses again that made him look at her, eyes wide open.

"What did you just-"

"This is not a prank, Phoenix-"

"Yeah, right, totally. . . Just tell me where you put the hidden cameras."

"Hidden- where would I get those!?" She asks that makes him shrug.

"Well, I don't know! You probably borrowed from your BOYFRIEND." He says, emphasizing the last word. Soroya couldn't believe what she just heard that made her scoff.

"You're an unbelievable pr*ck!" She curses for the third time that made Phoenix reply.

"And since when did you start cursing-"

"Hey, I don't have time with this, bro. So unless you listen to me, or you'll die like no one even cared!"

That made him stop fighting back from the heated argument. The driver slowly opens the radio in a small volume, enough ONLY for him to not hear them talking. Soroya takes a deep breath as her tensed muscle relaxes before talking.

"Like what I've said, you won't believe me. But as your friend, you have to trust me." She starts.

"Trust by what? That you see me die? Where? How? When? I'm still talking to you-"

"In my. . ." she pauses as she tries to think of an excuse she could work on. "I SAW YOU DIE ON MY DREAM!"

"Your dream of me getting killed? Come on, Soroya. We both know that it is just a dream-"

"Just trust me, okay?" Soroya leans to her side for her to whisper as she still keeps her gaze in front of them. She's not trusting anyone, even the driver and the wind. "You'll die there without knowing who killed you. A man, a woman, I don't know! Just don't trust anyone right now, except me."

She sits back as she switches her attention to the man beside her.

"Why should I trust you?" He asks, already knows how she will respond.

"Because I'm your best friend. You can't reject a friend like me." She smiles as she winks at him.

Silence fills the air as the intensity that has been built a couple of minutes ago starts to perish. The suffocating space starts to loosen up, making Phoenix breathe more naturally. Soroya keeps her silence, not wanting to put pressure on him anymore. She knew she did everything to make her friend trust him, even if what she's saying sounded too impossible.

Her heart starts to beat at an average pace as her tensed muscles relax too. She enjoys sitting next to her best friend. But then, the Phoenix inside Soroya feels something going on. And he knew it is not just a cringe situation, but deeper.

"So, does this mean I already have your approval on me having to go to a faraway university?" He asks that made Soroya turn and looks at him.

"Do I still have a choice to stop you?" She asks, knowing that her friend is has been attending college for three months now.

"That's the consent I'm waiting for." He says as he moves closer to her.

"But I'm still mad as to why you didn't tell me anytime sooner. You just told me when you're like, a half-way month studying there."

"Are we going to talk about this again?" He asks, but she nodded. Phoenix sighs before he starts to explain. "As I said before, I don't want to worry you. The moment I got my schedule for the first semester, I see that we have totally different school calendar, and I don't want you to think that I am just worried about myself and go tell you immediately."

"But I'm still your friend." She stares down at her shoes as she starts kicking his shoe lightly.

"And I care about you more than anyone. So, it's either not tell you so you could focus, or you end up overthinking."

Soroya sighs as she intertwines both of her fingers and places them down in between her knees. She took a deep breath first before turning to meet Phoenix's eyes.

"I'm sorry, I just got too paranoid that my best friend would find someone better than her best friend in the old town. Maybe I just got jealous that you'll replace me with another best friend or worse. . ."

"Or worse, what?" Phoenix asks, more curious than ever.

"Girlfriend." Phoenix chuckles when she says that.

"Why? What's so funny?"

"Ray, we both know I don't do girlfriends. . . At least, not for now. And besides, why would I search for someone when I already have you, right? We may have a hundred miles away from each other, but our friendship is like a tangible thing. It's impossible to compress anymore." He explains. They continue talking like an argument never happened. Minutes later, the cab stops as the driver announces their arrival at their destination. Both of them steps out of the cab as Phoenix pays the fare for both of them. Even if she doesn't want him to, he then again insisted. Like he used to.

Right on time, the train he'll be riding will be arriving by 5. Silence again comforts the two individuals as they wait patiently. Five minutes later, they hear the speakers announce the train's arrival.

"I guess I have to go now, Ray. Thank you for coming and agreeing. I can finally get a night of good sleep, now that I won't have to overthink about you not approving." He says.

"But have you thought about trusting me about everything that I've just said?" She asks back that made him remember everything they have discussed from the cab.

"It's okay if you don't give me an answer yet, but I just want you to know that I'm running out of time and-"

"I'll send you a message." He says as the train stops completely, the doors sliding open. Passengers start to occupy spaces as they walk past them. Soroya's eyes brighten up when she hears him say that.

"I'll send you a message tonight. I'll have my answer sent to you before the day ends." With that, Phoenix didn't wait for her reply as he turns his back on her and starts walking towards the train.

He wanted to hug her tight; he wanted to smell her one last time before going back to the university and start studying for exams, and have to wait for a couple of weeks more before he could even come home for Christmas break.

But for some reasons, he can't. . . Not just yet.

'Should I trust you?'

As he finds a seat, he didn't bother looking out of the window. It will hurt him even more, thinking about his best friend, Soroya, being with someone else named Eduardus. It made him jealous.

As the train starts to move, Soroya stares at it until the tail disappears completely, leaving her with an empty railway. She took a deep breath as she goes out of the subway to give Eduardus a call. Five rings later, he accepts the call.

[I'm kind of busy right now-]

"I don't care. Pick me up here at the subway."

[Can't you get yourself a cab-]

"No. Pick me up right now. I don't care what you're doing."

[Okay, fine! I'll be there by fifteen. Just wait there.]

"Yeah, whatever. . ."

As the call ends, Soroya slides her phone into her pocket and stare at the surroundings. She shakes her head and mumbles to herself.

"Welcome to your new, temporary life, dear Phoenix."