Chapter 4: Betrayal
1798 Words
I was so naive, I really believed Benji loved me as much as I did him, I think he did at one point, but my temper and violence wasn’t something he liked. More than once he’d had to drag me away from a bar fight.
It wasn’t just the fighting, it was my werewolf side, by nature, us werewolves were violent and temperamental, put it down to extra testosterone or whatever the f.uck made us werewolves, and when we didn’t change often enough, it affected our moods and made us even worse.
Combine violent werewolf with serial killer, and you got me, a dangerous combination, and some part of Benji could sense that danger. I had never hurt him, though, never so much as raised my f.ucking voice when we had argued.
Dad had set something up, I just knew he f.ucking had. Ever wonder why me and Romulus clashed and fought the most? This right here was the very f.ucking reason. He was straight, straighter than f.ucking straight, so I knew dad had made him do it. Romulus was the player, the ladies man out of us brothers, f.ucked anything that moved, anything with a p.ussy and as long as she was hot, typical player.
I’d already introduced Benji to the family, not the pack, just mum, dad, and my brothers, other than that, I kept him away from our house, didn’t have much to do with the pack.
I was living with Benji, which meant I couldn’t shift much either, it made my moods bad. Sometimes I’d sneak out and change, but the second time he caught me I knew it was too risky to do it again, we argued over it, he was convinced I was cheating, I told him I wasn’t, I just liked going for late night runs, he believed me eventually.
The only time I couldn’t avoid it was on the full moon, we were forced to change every full moon, so I made sure to always have some excuse on those days.
I came home one night to find Romulus sitting with Benji, chatting, suspicious, but I brushed it off because he was only into girls. Benji tried to kiss him as Romulus flirted, ok, now I was p.issed. Romulus avoided the kiss expertly and grinned, “why don’t we go to your room, I f.uck, I don’t kiss, hope that’s alright.”
Benji nodded, what the actual f.uck!
“You like dominance? You must do if you’re with Jax,” he teased.
Benji nodded, and said, “maybe we shouldn’t, your brother’s a good man.”
“It’s up to you, I think you’re hot, and I’d like to f.uck you though, I hear he won’t give you s.ex?”
When Benji nodded, he said, “well, I will. You be a good little submissive for me, keep your head down on the pillow, back to me with your pretty little a.ss up in the air.”
Benji nodded, while I tried to control myself. I knew Rom only wanted him in that position so he could pretend he was f.ucking a girl. He was really going to do this to me? I hadn’t cried since Rosie died, but I felt it, my throat hurt, my eyes felt dangerously teary.
I was good at stalking, always had been, from a wolf’s perspective, not a f.ucking creepy stalker. Maybe it was being a werewolf at such a young age, I’d had longer to learn? Who knew.
I stayed quiet and in the shadows, the house was filled with my scent, so Rom wouldn’t be surprised smelling me around here. They went to the bedroom, I saw the first hint of reluctance on Rom’s face. Benji got on the bed, only topless at this point.
“Maybe you’re right, and we shouldn’t,” he said.
Benji looked at him. “What changed your mind?”
“My brother, I love him, and he doesn’t deserve this, I don’t think this is a line I can cross.”
Relief flooded me, so he did f.ucking care about me somewhere in his d.ick brain, but it didn’t excuse Benji, he had been willing to betray me for what? A quick f.uck with my hot brother?
It was stupid, we were triplets, we looked the f.ucking same, almost, I had golden blonde almost curly hair with my two different eye colours, while Rom had dark blue eyes with flecks of gold running through and warm brown hair, in certain lighting it was the kind of brown that would show hints of a golden undertone, making you unsure whether it was brown or golden brown.
He was big and muscular like me too, besides our hair and eyes, we were identical, same Cupid bow lips, same chiseled jawline etc. But I guess he had that charming quality I lacked.
I won’t lie, it hurt, it hurt so f.ucking bad to think Benji would cheat on me. I stormed into them, and on top of the hurt of betrayal, my mood was bad because I hadn’t changed recently, I reacted first, I punched Benji in the face, and he fell off the bed.
“Jax! I’m sorry, it’s not what it looks like!”
“F.uck off with your bulls.hit!” I growled.
Romulus tried touching me and I punched him too. “Stay the f.uck away from me!”
He wiped the back of his arm across his bloody nose and stepped back, he knew better than to p.iss me off and send me over the edge. Benji didn’t, he got up and tried hugging me, I pushed him back. “Don’t f.ucking touch me!”
“I’m so sorry!” He pleaded.
“I don’t give a f.uck, we’ve been together what? Two years, I thought we were happy, I was thinking of f.ucking proposing to you.”
He broke down in tears. “Seriously? You’re the cheat here, but you’re the one f.ucking crying?”
“Jax,” Romulus said softly. I spun on him, letting him see all my fury, letting him see the wolf, my eyes blazing gold with how close I was to losing control. “And you! My own f.ucking brother! How could you?”
He spoke quietly enough Benji wouldn’t hear. “I’m sorry, I’m so f.ucking sorry, dad asked me to seduce him, I couldn’t go through with it though, I swear.”
I nodded, my jaw clenching. “I know,” I gritted.
“Please Jax, it’s been hard for me, it’s so hard being with you, but only having half of you,” Benji said.
“What the f.uck you talking about half of me? I’ve given you all of me, I left my home to be with you!”
“I’ll give you some privacy,” Romulus murmured, and went to wait out in the living room. He’d still hear everything, but it was the illusion of privacy that helped.
Benji placed his hands on my chest and looked up at me. “I love you, Jax, I really do, but you’re hiding something, I know you are! You don’t open up to me about anything, then there’s the fact I’ve been asking months for s.ex, why don’t you want to be intimate with me?”
“I do, I give you intimacy, you suck my d.ick, I suck yours, we give each other handjobs, we kiss, we cuddle.”
“I mean s.ex Jax! Do you have any idea how hard it is being around you? You’re gorgeous, sexy as hell, and I want to feel you make love to me, or f.uck the s.hit out of me, I want it so bad, I want to lose my virginity, I want to lose it to you, but you won’t let me. Why?”
I grew more quiet. It was true, not because I didn’t want to, I just wanted to make sure that when I lost it to someone that it meant something, that it was special, maybe that was girly of me, but f.uck it, I liked to think it was more the wolf part of me wanting a lifetime mate.
Looking at him, I couldn’t keep the snarl out of my voice, “I wanted it to be special, to mean something, I wanted to lose it to someone I spend the rest of my life with, I was going to propose to you, I was going to make love to you on the night I proposed, but I’m glad this f.ucking happened before I did. You ain’t worth it.”
“Jax—”
“F.uck off! I don’t want you, I can’t believe I wasted so much f.ucking time on you!” I yelled so loud that Romulus came in to check on us. I sat down on the bed and put my head in my hands, trying to control myself, but I couldn’t, I just couldn’t, my heart felt like it ripped in two.
I punched the wall beside the bed, making my knuckles bleed, the pain didn’t help this time, and I broke down in tears. I sobbed like a f.ucking baby, and it was embarrassing. Benji hugged me, and I didn’t have the strength to push him off. “I love you so much,” I sobbed.
“I know honey, I love you too, I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” he whispered.
I shook my head. “I can’t, I’ll never trust you again.”
“So it’s over?” He asked.
“It’s over.”
“Jax—”
“Please just shut up. Don’t worry, I’m not so harsh I’d have you out on the streets, I’ll pay for the rent for the whole of this year, but after that, you’re on your own.”
I got up and started packing my s.hit, sometimes I managed to hold it together while I packed, other times I grew angry again, then I’d cry, and it kept going in that cycle. Benji kept trying to beg and plead for me to stay, he didn’t understand how my mind worked, as a wolf loyalty meant everything, that was broken now.
I stood in front of the door with my bags in my hands and with my voice teary and angry, I said, “Romulus, take me home. I want to go home.”
He silently left with me and drove me home. I sat in the back, I didn’t want to sit near him right now. He kept checking his rearview mirror to make sure I was ok. He saw me crying, but f.uck it, I couldn’t stop myself, but it would be the last time he ever saw me cry.
- Writer
