Gage

Chapter 7

Wren

I walked up the stairs of the house to a room I still hadn't been into yet. One of two rooms I haven't been in yet. Marley and Gage were downstairs while I gathered some clothes and blankets. Anderson had graciously offered to make sure the rest of the animals were in the barn and their stalls and the ranch hands were safe in their own quarters.

The snow was falling thick and heavy and I could barely see 5 feet out of the window. Gage's car was nearly halfway buried and sure enough, wouldn't start when he tried. The number of cuss words that flew from his mouth would have been enough to make a sailor blush.

I was thankful the pair of them were downstairs though. Neither of them could see my shaking hands as they lingered on the bedroom door. Come on, Wren. Just open the damn door.

I straightened my shoulders and shook some confidence into my body and opened the door. The wood creaked as it swung wide and the onslaught of my brother's scent hit me in the face like a brick wall. My younger brother was only a few years older than Marley so I was hoping that despite them being boys' clothes, some would fit her.

I walked in and sat on his bed, looking around at all of the posters he had hanging on his wall. There was a picture of the four of us at my high school Graduation sitting on his nightstand. I picked it up as a tear fell off of my cheek and landed on the glass of the frame.

I set it down and walked over to his dresser. It doesn't look like anything has been messed with. His glove for baseball is still on his dresser, his clothes hamper was nearly full of sweaty socks. I had to try hard to suppress a smile. I looked in his PJ drawer and grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt and made my way to the next room.

This room had my knees feeling weak and vomit threatening to rise up out of my throat. My parents' room. Repeating my steps, much like I did to get into my brother's room, I somehow found the courage to go in. Only this time I didn't linger to look at the memories. I didn't allow myself to feel wounded by the pictures, my mom's jewelry and perfume, and my dad's favorite reading glasses on his end table.

I walked to the closet hastily and grabbed a pair of sweats that I was hoping would fit Gage. My father had always been a stocky man but Gage is like a real life Hercules.

My hands lingered on one of my dad's old sweatshirts and I swore I could still smell his cologne on the fabric. I grabbed it off the hanger and hugged it to my chest taking in a big breath. It felt calming, much like it did when I was a child.

I smiled and made my way downstairs to find Gage and Marley snuggled on my sofa watching a movie. Well, more like he's watching it and Marley is snoozing. Hard.

Gage's eyes met mine as I made my way to them. I swear it was moments like this where I couldn't tell if he hated me or wanted to eat me. He can't make up his mind.

“She looks like she's out for good.” I mentioned and he looked down at his little girl. A smile that I wish he would give me sometimes graces his face and instantly shaves off 10 years of his life.

“She can sleep in my brother's room if you like. I have the heater turned on. I didn't know if these would fit her. These are for you.” I mumbled handing out the clothes.

He grabs the clothes and sets them on the sofa next to him while standing and effortlessly scooping her up. Somehow she still stays asleep and he tilts his chin, gesturing for me to lead the way.

I steel my nerves preparing myself to enter the room again and hold back the feelings it gives me. I manage to calm myself. The only tell of my uncomfortable position is my trembling hands. If he's seen them, he hasn't mentioned them.

He lays her on the bed and I pull the blankets up on her. She doesn't even move. This feels oddly domesticated and I have to force myself not to meet Gage's stare as I rub the hair out of Marley's face. I may be overstepping so many boundaries, but this little girl already means so much to me. I spend nearly every day with her and it's hard not to get attached. I watch the slow rise and fall of her chest before sighing and standing up to walk away giving Gage the privacy to tuck his own child into bed.

I want this. I wanted this. I wanted a family and I guess I was so desperate for one that could be why I overlooked so many of James' red flags for so long.

I bite my bottom lip. It's not the only reason, but it's one of the big ones. I'm not getting any younger and I have always dreamed of this. Of being a family and it is gut wrenching that I know I won't be able to have that anymore. Not because I can't physically but It's going to take a hell of a man to break down these walls and I just can't see myself ever trusting any man ever again.

I walk down the hall and to the kitchen to give them some privacy and pour myself a glass of wine. My cardigan that I had on pulled tighter around me and stared out to see the snowflakes falling by the millions. It's crazy how even in the summer, Colorado will still get winter sized snow storms.

I hear heavy footsteps coming towards me and I struggle hard to repress the flinch and go stiff. The force of habit, I know.

“Thank you again for letting us stay here tonight, Wren.” he said genuinely and I nodded.

“Want a glass?” I offered and he curled his lips up.

“Got anything a little stronger? Not much of a wine man.” I smile a bit and stand on my tiptoes to reach the cabinet above the stove.

“This was my dad's stash.” I attempt to reach it again but they don't build houses while keeping shorter women in mind. I hop up a bit and jump onto the counter.

“What the heck are you doing?” he said with a bit of an exasperated laugh.

“What? I couldn't reach it…” and he rolled his eyes.

“You do realize I could reach that even in my teenage years right?” though his words seemed to mean he had a smirk on his face. He was teasing me.

“Hardy, har, har. Not all of us can be Giants. There is one bonus, however to being of slightly lower stature.” I countered and he raised his brow.

“Oh yeah? And what's that?” he asked.

“Us shorties always have the best hiding spots at hide and seek. I'd like to see you try to fit yourself into the dryer!” he blinks his eyes once, twice, three times before throwing his head back and laughing.

God, I can remember the time everyone forgot we were playing and mom almost turned on the dryer with me inside. I got scolded for being quote-on-quote reckless but I still won that round of hide-and-seek.

“You really are something else, Wren Lewis.” We chatted a bit more while I got a glass down and filled it with a couple of ice cubes. I poured the bourbon over the ice before handing it over to him.

“Thank you.”

I couldn't believe it. We were having a civilized conversation and neither of us was getting irritated and neither of us was being mean. Mom would be so proud of me.

“So, We got all night. Might as well talk.”

“About?” I asked a bit nervously if he was going to bring something up to ruin the supposed truce we have going for us right now. I bit my lower lip and his eyes traced the movement.

“Tell me about you. I only know things others have told me, but I don't know who you are.”

“And whose fault is that?” I counter, being a bit petty. Gosh dang here I was thinking he was going to strike first, but here I am.

“Touche.” he said with a wink. “I'll admit I've been a d**k but if there's one thing you'll learn about me it's that I'm fiercely protective of my family, my friends and this town. Your family has been like an extended family for me and it broke my heart watching your momma cry every night for you.” he said with no venom in his words. Only a bit of sadness. I had to look away as my lip wobbled.

“It was the only way.” I whispered and he asked me to repeat it. I shook my head.

“It was the only way.” I said a bit stronger.

“You're going to have to clarify that because you lost me somewhere in all of that.”

“It's a long story…” I started and he went to interrupt me.

“I've got time.” I silenced him with a glare.

“As I was saying. It's a long story and you're going to want to finish that glass first before you hear what I have to say. I've never told anyone this, not even Anderson. So let's get comfortable, Officer.”