Siobhan, The goddess' handmaiden

6. Eavesdropping

Siobhan walks slowly back to the laundry room. He was right. She has to finish that or the goddess will come up with a million little things for her to do on top of washing the dresses. She has to pass the throne room on her way. Noticing that the door to the throne room is not closed all the way, she gets curious. A small gap remains and she can see Ereshkigal pacing up and down. She can’t see Nakir, but he’s probably there. Siobhan knows it’s wrong to listen in, but she can’t help herself. She doesn’t believe that there is nothing between those two. The ugly feeling of jealousy rears its head again and again, even though there is nothing to be had with Nakir. He doesn’t look at her at all.

“Why do you torture her so?” Nakir asks.

“Because she deserves it. She kept Nina a secret all these years. She’s not just your daughter, she’s my family too! She kept my niece from me,” Ereshkigal growls.

“Do you think it would have changed anything if she told me sooner?” Nakir scoffs.

“Of course! She could have been here with us,” Ereshkigal stops pacing. The goddess is wearing a dark blue gown and it does look good on her.

“Why would she be here?” Nakir gestures around at the empty space of the room.

“A child needs a father,” Ereshkigal has a point, but where is she going with this, Siobhan asks herself. She hides behind the door, so they can’t see her.

“Would you let her come and go as she pleased? I would never have taken my daughter away from her mother,” Nakir tells the goddess. He’s probably the only one who dares say no to her. Or object in any way.

“You don’t care at all!” Ereshkigal yells at him. The rage can be almost felt.

“Of course I care. But I also know that she was well taken care of with Siobhan, and she wouldn’t have been with me. Can you imagine me as a parent?” Nakir laughs.

“No,” the goddess scoffs. “Why do you have to make sense all the time?”

Shit! Silence is not a good thing. Siobhan slips her shoes off and runs barefoot down the hallway. She doesn’t stop before she reaches the laundry room. Getting discovered would be bad. There is no telling what Ereshkigal would do to her. The goddess doesn’t seem to like her, she was only interesting for a few days. After the goddess found out that Nina was Nakir’s daughter, she gave her hell. Why is anyone’s guess? Nakir doesn’t hold it against her, but Ereshkigal does. She thought he didn’t care, but he showed her today that he does. When did he decide that she was good for Nina and he wouldn’t have been? In truth, she doesn’t know much about him, but he’s not evil. That much she does know.

Siobhan never pretended that she understood him, but he could always talk to her. She can tell him all about Nina. Those stories are some of her fondest memories. She thinks back to the time Nina was five, and in her rebellious phase. Nobody could get her to do anything, except Patrick. Her stepfather brought her down with one well placed word. He never pleaded with the kids, he told them no. Then a lecture would follow why their choice was wrong and his was right. Siobhan listened, even vowed to herself that she would try his approach next time, but she always failed. Does she miss Patrick? Sure. It was a marriage of convenience, but they had a few decades of happiness together. She turned a blind eye to his mistresses, and he never asked about Nina’s father. Not even when he caught her flying around her room.

“What happened to Patrick?” Ereshkigal inquires. The goddess just appeared in the door. And Siobhan had her mind walls down.

“He died a few years ago. Old age caught up to him,” she answers. “I think about him from time to time. He was always so patient with the girls.”

“Even Nina? He must have known she wasn’t his?” The goddess scoffs.

“Yes, even with her. He never asked, he knew I wouldn’t have told him,” Siobhan sighs. “But I told Nina when she was fourteen. She has shown me that she can handle the truth.”

“How did she react?” The goddess wants to know.

“It brought her closer to Zack, Tammy and Laylah. She started to train her skills more seriously after that too. And she wanted to find Nakir,” Siobhan chuckles. “Nina can shadow walk, but she has limits. She can’t cross into a different realm, so he was always out of her reach.”

“You can stop scrubbing that dress,” Ereshkigal snaps her fingers and all dresses float to the hanger clean and dry.

“Thank you,” Siobhan bows. This is a small sign of good will from the goddess.

“You can thank Nakir. I don’t know how he can take this so calmly,” the goddess scoffs.

“Neither do I, but he is not exactly talking to me,” Siobhan shrugs. It’s not just not talking to her, he’s actively avoiding her, too.

“You can go read if you want to. I’m taking a nap,” Ereshkigal tells her and the door slams behind her with a finality that nothing else could bring over. Or maybe a clear don’t disturb sign?

Siobhan doesn’t actually care. She takes the chance presented to her. Reading is her escape. It’s not something one would associate with Hell, but why even think about it? The library is there and she is allowed to use it. End of thought. Overthinking was never her problem, but since she’s been here in Irkalla, that is all she does. When and how can she get her calm back? Or is that something that doesn’t exist here? Ereshkigal and Nakir seem to her like two ice blocks that never get phased. Is that a front? He showed her that he does have feelings, and Ereshkigal lost it on his behalf. The goddess does choose strange things to get upset about.

Her book is waiting right there for her. The same place she left it in. Wishing for any comfortable sofa or armchair, even pillows to put on the windowsill is as likely to come through as her leaving this place. She sits there and smells the book. The scent is of old paper and ink, the leather it was bound in, and dust. Should she clean the library? Maybe just get the dust off of the books? It might take a few months, but what else is there to do? She’s dead, it’s not like she’s going somewhere. It would also give her an opportunity to get to know the books better. Maybe she will find something she likes? Nakir said it’s all classics, but she hasn’t read them all in the course of her life. What makes a book a classic? Who decides? Judging by the book in her hands, most books here are first editions. They weren’t classics when they first came out. So, her next thought is who was putting this library together? Nakir was stuck in the human realm, and Ereshkigal never left her domain.

She starts dusting off the books on the ground floor. In all the times she has walked through the library, she hasn’t seen the stairs yet. How does one get to the upper floors? What books are hidden up there? And why? Is there a chance that the stairs are actually on the outside? If she was to go up one floor and look for an entrance to the library there, could she find it? She’s got time to explore, and nobody said she can’t. Siohan wants to know what is up there. What treasures are protected by the lack of stairs? Nakir can fly and Ereshkigal can teleport, but how does anyone else get up there?