Siobhan, The goddess' handmaiden

5. Nightmares

Siobhan falls on her bed to rest. Sleep eludes her still. Her royal grumpiness worked her to the bones. For one that could just snap her fingers and make things fall in place by magic, cleaning should be a mere blink. But no! Ereshkigal makes Siobhan do everything by hand. Changing the bedsheets, cleaning the imagined cobwebs, scrubbing the clean floors, and frigging organising the all black wardrobe by length of the garments. The four dark red gowns got a section of their own. Then she had to hand polish the goddess’ collection of shoes. It took her all night, but she got it done.

At least she gets a few hours of rest now that her grumpiness is asleep. How can she feel so damn tired if she’s dead? And why can’t she sleep? Even yoga doesn’t help to relax her body and mind. Is this another part of her punishment? Is she doing it herself or has the goddess cursed her? In any case, she’s overthinking it. Siobhan turns around on her bed to look at the wall instead of the ceiling. She curls into a ball and hugs her knees. Is that a streak of grey in her hair? She shoots from the bed to run to her wardrobe. The mirror reflects her back looking tired. Her dress is all crumbled and dirty, and there really is a streak of grey in her red hair.

Siobhan changes her dress and lies back down. Wasting more energy to magically change her hair seems dumb, but she never had grey hair in her life. Why now that she’s dead? She mumbles a spell that used to work in the past. The grey slowly colours in and her pretty red hair is back to perfect. She can feel her eyes getting heavy. Blessed sleep is her last thought.

She’s running as fast as she can. The streets of London are a maze, but she’s lived here all her life and she knows them well. Taking shortcuts to get home faster is her only option. Siobhan still doesn’t believe the call she got. Nina can’t be hurt. She never gets hurt. Siobhan is not waiting for the elevator, she runs up the stairs to the third floor. The door of their apartment is opened, and she can hear them talking. Is that Zack? He sounds worried. She pushes through the door and nearly stumbles in the haste to get to her baby girl.

“Don’t!” Tammy grabs her. “You don’t need to see it.”

“I have to! She’s my baby!” Siobhan exclaims. She fights Tammy, but there is no breaking free of the angel’s hold. “Let me see her!”

“Don’t. No woman should see her child die,” Tammy tells her.

“No!” Siobhan yells. She can feel her soul shatter and her knees give out.

She wakes up in sweat and tears. It was a dream. Was it something her mind conjured up? Is this part of her punishment? Why would she do this to herself? It makes no sense at all, but it is her greatest fear. Probably every mother’s fear is to see her child die. Nakir warned her about Irkalla and the fears it draws out. It’s not safe to sleep. Siobhan can’t protect her mind when she sleeps. Now she has another dress to wash. Her wardrobe consists of four identical dresses and she got two dirty cleaning Ereshkigal’s quarters.

Siobhan cleans herself up in the laundry room. She’d like nothing more than to go swimming, but the goddess doesn’t share her private bath with anyone. The swimming pool is strictly off limits. Washing the dresses comes next. A pile of Ereshkigal’s dresses appeared while she was asleep. Not that there is any dirt on them, or anything of the likes, it’s just the goddess’ way of making her work til she can hardly stand. This is definitely a punishment for something. It’s better to not dwell on it at all. Like there is something she can change? She can’t.

Her bracelet flashes red. The goddess needs something. Siobhan hangs the dress up to dry and rushes over to the goddess’ wardrobe. She finds Ereshkigal leaning on the wall with a deep frown on her beautiful face.

“What happened?” Siobhan inquires. She doesn’t dare ask if the goddess is feeling fine, or if there is something bothering her.

“I’m in the mood for colour, but I have no idea what would actually look good on me,” Ereshkigal answers.

“I’d say violet or blue,” Siobhan sighs. It’s nothing important, just vanity. “But the dark blue tones. Light blue is for kids.”

“Blue?” Ereshkigal wonders. One of the dresses that hang there changes colour to midnight blue with silver stars over the bodice. “Well, maybe you are good for something. I like it. You can go back to whatever you were doing.”

“Thank you, my lady,” Siobhan nods. She is happy to get out of the goddess’ sight. The good mood won’t last.

Returning to her work load, she hums a lullaby. It used to be her favourite growing up, and she sang it to her daughters, too. It suddenly brings back a flash of the dream. Nina can’t be dead. She’s immortal. It was just a dream. No matter what she tells herself, her soul is restless. She just has to check. Following the long corridors down to the underground caves, she rushes to the screening pool. The torches are lit, so she can see where she’s going. Only thinking of Nina, she misses that someone is there already.

“She let you off the hook?” Nakir smirks.

“Officially? I’m doing laundry,” Siobhan shrugs. “Can she induce nightmares?”

“Oh? You let your guard down,” he scoffs. “It wasn’t Ery. Irkalla does that.”

“I was just so tired that I actually fell asleep,” she tells him.

“What was the dream about?” Nakir inquires.

“A nightmare, really. I dreamt that Nina died,” she inches closer to the screening pool. The image of their daughter can be clearly seen. Was he spying on her?

“She’s fine. Did Tammy train her?” Nakir smiles for the first time. A real smile that reaches his eyes. He does have feelings after all.

“Tammy and Zack,” she answers. “They started her training the moment she showed that she was different. Her powers manifested when she was two. Laylah was wary of her, but she did join in on the training eventually.”

“Can she detect demons?” He wonders.

“Yeah. And ghosts,” Siobhan nods. “Her shadow walking is more like teleportation, but she can’t take anyone with her.”

“Do you miss her?” Nakir looks at her. She can feel his eyes piercing her skin. Is he trying to read her mind? She’s not letting him do it.

“Of course I miss her. I miss them both, but Nina was always my favourite,” she tells him.

“Selene didn’t mind that you had favourites?” He inquires.

“Selene was daddy’s spoiled princess. Patrick doted on her to the point that she inherited everything when he died. So Nina and I moved back to my apartment in Greenwich. I never sold it, and I was right not to.”

“Did he neglect Nina?” Nakir growls. His eyes are flashing with anger.

“Never. He was a good father, it was just clear who was who’s favourite. She had everything she wanted. He even drove both of them to practise. Nina’s martial arts and Selene’s violin.”

“Get back to your laundry. Ery is calling for me,” Nakir suddenly stands and the pool goes dark.