The Soldier Who Met His Match #3 The Soldier Series

Chapter One - Missing Pin Up

Chapter One – Missing Pin Up

Present Day.

Woof walked down one of the long corridors of Buckingham Palace, flanked by two royal servants, as they guided him into a room, filled with others who were receiving honours. If he was totally honest, him receiving the CBE was all just bullshit, the current prime ministers attempt at covering his own arse after requesting him and his brothers go out on a deniable operation on UK soil. Of course he was happy to do the op with Kermit, Cigs and Tank, after all, it was to rescue their wives, Kyla, Izzy and Vicky, along with Tanks two little boys Matt and Leo, when that psychopathic Miguel ‘Mad Dog’ Sanchez had kidnapped them. But s**t had gone wrong, and Kermit had shot the fucker between the eyes, it was justified, given he was about to kill Kyla, and there was a clear threat to life, however, given the operation was deniable, Woof knew Kermit would be taken down for a long stretch at her Majesty’s pleasure, and without a second thought he swapped places, and claimed the kill. Something he would do again in a heartbeat for any of his brothers, they all had that someone special in their lives, whereas, he preferred a different bed, every night, never one to be trapped into that monogamy bullshit, he had done it once, but never again.  

To add to the biggest f**k up of all f**k ups, the only reason Mad Dog was able to kill some of the contestants of his show Special Forces Have You Got What It Takes, was because of some shady MI5 officer, who had racked up a load of drug debt, and had to pay it off by working for him.

After a massive media campaign, started by Kyla’s elderly neighbour his now adopted granny Grace, and the mounting pressure of Free Soldier B, and the intervention of the now home secretary Ex Captain James Clarkson, Woof was finally released, and so to save face the bumbler PM with his wild hair, announced it was, after all, a sanctioned mission, and now the fucker needed to honour Woof, so that he could gain brownie points ready for the next election.  

Yet despite his many months in prison, trying to keep his head down, and taking a knife to the stomach, some good had come out of the situation for Woof, and that was he was now going to meet the Queen, he loved her, even having her picture of when she was younger above his bed when he lived in the barracks, after all it was her that he served for, she was the Boss.

Excitement started to flow through his veins, but to look at him you would never guess a thing, his sandy blond hair was cut short, given he was in uniform today, his normal scruff shaved off, and his blue eyes held none of the emotion he felt.

A man entered the room, gaining everyone’s attention

“Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen, I am here to advise you on the correct protocol for meeting a member of the Royal household. Today you will receive your honours for the work you have all done to better this country, and her majesty the Queen is proud to honour each and every one of you.” He spoke as if he had a plumb in his mouth.

“Her Majesty also wishes to offer you all, her sincerest apologies that she is unable to attend this ceremony today, however, The Prince of Wales, Prince Charles our future King is standing in her stead”

Woof groaned internally, but not a sound left his lips after all this bull s**t, he was not going to meet the queen, no, he was stuck with f*****g Prince Charles. The guys were going to have a field day with this, and Woof braced himself for the onslaught of hysterical laughter and banter that was going to head his way as soon as this ceremony was over.

Woof continued to look like he was listening to Lord Plumb mouth as he waffled on about things he already knew, before they were all escorted out to the main hall ready to take their seats to receive the honours, and medals that were to be bestowed upon them, before the fancy reception with his guests in one of the other rooms within the Palace. As he walked out, shoulders back, back straight, reaching his full six foot two inch height with the confidence of a Ex Special Forces operative, he avoided looking towards the guests, as he knew they would now be informed it was in fact Prince Charles and not his beloved Queen who would honour him, and he did not want to see the amusement in their faces just yet. He was ushered to his seat and waited for the pomp and ceremony to begin.

As the ceremony ended, Woof was escorted out to the large banqueting hall, waiting for his guests to arrive Taking a deep breath, she shook his head as a giggling Kyla with the largest belly he had ever seen approached him with Izzy, who’s face was lit up with amusement, damn, he could never be pissed at Izzy feeling happy, Kyla and Izzy were like sisters to him, and after her battle with Cancer, she deserved every last drop of happiness, even at his own expense. Vicky followed, she was the team mum, and Woof had a lot of respect for her, she had been with him through thick and thin when he divorced the lying cheating officer spunk bucket, and he was as close as he could be with all of his brothers and their wives his now sisters.

As they all approached him, he saw a pink hat of feathers, f**k they were falling out of the hat, leaving a trail behind on the plush red carpet, and Woof had to stop himself from laughing as Granny Grace approached him a huge smile on her face.

“I am so proud of you Woof” Grace said excitedly, as she pushed her way passed his friends to greet him first.

 Woof leaned in and gave her a kiss on her wizened cheek, before shaking the hand of her husband Alan.

“Glad you could come Grace” Woof smiled down at the elderly lady, and he really was, she was such a character, always coming out with some s**t or other about some neighbour or family members dead cats, vets dogs previous owners, girl who she would try and set him up with.

Tank walked up to him, shaking his hand and slapping him on his back, as Kermit and Cigs followed suit.

“Where is Stan?” Woof asked, looking around the room.

“He couldn’t come, said he will message you about it later” Izzy sighed.

Stan was Kyla and Izzy’s friend, he had also been a contestant during their time on the show, not a soldier but he was still a brother to him now. He struggled with fitting in, always feeling on the outside looking in, and sometimes he would fall into a bout of depression and uncertainty, which he hid from the others, but Woof was his sounding board, and support.

Kermit grinned at Woof his eyes glistening, as he looked at him.

“So Prince Charles did the ceremony then” Kermit said, to anyone else it would sound like a passing comment, but woof knew it was the start of the piss take he was going to endure.

“Yeah, so it turned out” Woof said, shaking his head slightly, he was actually majorly pissed off about it, but those are the breaks.

“Never mind, maybe when your get your knighthood for services to all the lonely women in the world, she will turn up then” Cigs chuckled slapping Woof on the back.

Woof shook his head and turned to Kyla, she really was huge now.

“f**k Kyla are you sure you’re not going to pop?” Woof asked changing the subject.

“Nope baby frog is staying safe and sound, thank you very much, well until we get home then she can arrive any time she likes” Kyla smiled

“Still no name then?” Woof chuckled, for all Kermit and Kyla were in agreement on everything, it seemed the name of their daughter was something that they could not agree upon.

“Heads Up” Kermit stated, as all of the guys stood to attention instantly, heading towards them was Prince Charles, as he shook hands with people and chatted, he approached Woof who instantly bowed his head. As his headdress was not on he did not have to offer him a salute.

“Your Royal Highness” Woof said in greeting

“errmmm, ahh yes” Prince Charles said as someone whispered into his ear.

“emm Jason Collie, or Woof, I believe, it is a pleasure to meet you” the Prince said as he stretched out his hand to shake Woofs.

“Thank you Sir, and these are my friends and colleagues” Woof stated,

“This is Isobel and Steven Benson” Woof introduced Cigs and Izzy

“Ahh yes, you were one of the ladies rescued” the Prince said with a smile

“That is correct Sir” Izzy smiled as she curtseyed

Turning to Cigs, the Prince then smiled

“So do you have a nickname as well?” he asked

“Sir, it is Cigs” Cigs said after vowing his head

“Why Cigs?” The prince asked

“Benson and Hedges, cigarettes, so Cigs for short” Cigs smiled as the prince chuckled.

Woof then turned to and expectant and excited Grace

“This is Grace and Alan Coulson, Grace headed up the Free Soldier B social media campaign” Woof said, as Grace curtseyed.

Prince Charles held out his hand and she took it, placing her other hand over the top of his effectivally trapping him there.

“So nice to meet you Sir, so sorry about your little bit of family trouble, did you know, my friend Andrea who works at the shop, well her brothers neighbours boy married an American as well” Grace said with no shame, a feather floating from her hat and landing on the princes perfectly tailored jacket.

Woof closed his eyes slightly, this is why he loved this woman, and he had to supress a smile.

“Oh, very good” Prince Charles said politely then expertly removed his hand from her grip, as he moved down the line.

Izzy rolled her lips desperate not to laugh out loud as grace did not take the hint and duly followed his royal highness.

“This is James ‘Kermit’ Henderson, and his wife Kyla” Woof continued ignoring the fact that Grace was still hovering around.

“Kermit, why Kermit?” Prince Charles asked, if he was put off by Grace he was not showing it at all.

“Sir” Kermit bowed his head.

“When I was in basic training, I did something wrong and the corporal said I was named after the creator of the muppets, and I was the biggest muppet of them all, even bigger than Kermit the Frog” Kermit smiled

“Wasn’t that Jim Henson” Prince Charles asked

“Yes Sir, but the corporal didn’t know that” Kermit chuckled as Prince Charles laughed slightly.

He stepped towards Kyla, as another feather fell from Graces hat, landing on his shoe, as she hung about with a big smile on her face.

Kyla looked at the Prince, then bent down for the curtsy, as she moved back up, she felt a pop, and gasped out, as water gushed from her, slashing all over the royal red carpet, and Prince Charles shoe’s, effectively sticking the feather from Graces hat onto his foot.

Woof stood, looking as Kermit grabbed hold of his wife, Grace, fussing over her forgetting Prince Charles, as Izzy also ran to her side, and Vicky began giving orders to find a hospital near by to Tank.

He looked up at Prince Charles as he discreetly waggled his foot to get rid of the amniotic fluid and the feather from his foot, this could only happen to him, and with this group of friends, he had to keep his face a stoic mask, but inside he was laughing like a hyena, it was the funniest thing he had ever seen.

“Oh, someone else wants to greet me” Prince Charles chuckled, before turning to his aid and saying

“I think we need Jessica”