Our Pointless Fights

-Megan- "Oh great, you're finally up!" Naomi exclaimed, lowering the phone. She sat outside in the warm July sun, donning sunglasses, with a table laden with food before her. Having already finished her breakfast, I found myself rising later than usual. Since parting ways with Nathan, my sleep and appetite had been disturbed, resulting in worrisome weight loss. I knew Naomi noticed, but she'd made efforts to uplift me ever since she brought me along. "Hungry?" she inquired as I settled in front of her. I shook my head, gazing at the expansive garden with its pool and surroundings. It was a beautiful home she shared with her husband. Initially, I harbored some reservations about him, knowing nothing about him. However, it was evident that Naomi harbored genuine feelings for him, having met him through acquaintances. She appeared content, and he seemed to care for her. While I remained somewhat uneasy around him, seeing my sister happy brought me solace. "Not really," I admitted. "Come on, Meg, you have to eat," she urged. "I am eating," I fibbed. Turning to face her, I could tell, even behind her sunglasses, she didn't believe my lie. "Right..." "What do you want me to do, Naomi?" I questioned. "Live!" "Live?" "Yes, live! You're finally free from our parents. You're almost liberated from Nathan, and you're free! Live! Pursue the artist within you, as you've always dreamed," she urged. "You want me to pursue art?" I inquired. Lately, that ambition seemed absurd. I hadn't touched a paintbrush in months, lacking any inspiration to do so. It all felt futile. "Or consider going to school! I know it's something you've always desired," she suggested. "I'm unsure," I sighed. "I'll assist with finances." "So, now I won't owe our parents, just you," I remarked. "It's different, and you know it. You won't owe me anything." "Except your husband," I added. Naomi shook her head and reached for my hand resting on the table. "I despise seeing you like this," she expressed. I glanced down at my empty plate, avoiding the pain in her eyes—the pain I inflicted by my inability to care for myself. "I want to support you," she insisted. "You can't." I gently withdrew my hand, and she respected my need for space. "Have you spoken to that lawyer?" she inquired. Naomi was adamant about expediting my divorce proceedings, but I... I wasn't ready to let go. I knew it was irrational. Nathan and I could never reconcile. Our relationship had been too toxic. Yet, I couldn't shake my feelings for him. "Not yet," I admitted. "Come on, Meg. You're only harming yourself." "I'm simply not prepared," I confessed. "When will you be ready?" Naomi exclaimed. "It's not like I'm just discarding an old dress. I fell for him, Nomi!" I insisted. "I know," she responded with a sad look. "I know you did, but it wasn't genuine." "You knew all along." "But you weren't ready to listen," she acknowledged. "But I knew long before you two even got together. Before that awful incident. I knew what Nathan truly desired, which is his grandfather’s company. He's just like Shane." "He didn't seem that way," I murmured. "They're skilled at hiding it," she informed me. "So skilled." "I just don’t understand how I couldn’t see it." "I know. It's even more painful to feel like you were deceived." "I can't let him go," I confessed, attempting to hold back the tears. "Yes, you can!" "How?" "The best way to move forward is just to move forward," she advised. "Did you read that in a fortune cookie?" I teased her with a smile. She chuckled softly and shook her head. "I mean it, Meg. You just need to get away from him. Divorce him and carve out a life of your own. You're free now!" "It's not that simple," I countered. "I know, but you still have to. The world doesn't wait for you," she insisted. I knew she was right, but I couldn't simply release him. Divorcing him meant bidding farewell, and it had been agonizing to leave in the middle of the night. Glancing back at him, my heart shattered as I watched him lie there. I knew he would awaken to find me gone, causing him pain, and that realization only intensified my own anguish. Naomi had waited patiently in the car. Of course, I hadn't anticipated sleeping with Nathan that night. I hadn't anticipated surrendering myself entirely to him, but sh*t, it had been one hell of a first time. I had cherished every moment, even though I knew I would say goodbye afterward. "Talk to the lawyer," she insisted. "I..." "Meg, today!" "I don’t know..." I knew Nathan had bombarded me with calls incessantly for the first two months, but by June, they ceased. I knew why. He had achieved his goal, hadn’t he? I had tried to distance myself from all social media and any news regarding his family. I didn’t want to witness him inheriting that ridiculous company, realizing it was all a charade between us. "You need to get this over with." "Easy for you to say," I muttered. "Megan, you have such a good heart," she remarked. "Don’t let him ruin that!" "What does this have to do with my good heart?" I questioned. "It's like I'm watching my sister wither away before my eyes. I detest it!" "You think I find this amusing?" She shook her head. "Of course not, but I can promise you, as soon as you sign those papers, you will get better." "How can you promise me that?" I inquired. "Because you will finally see it from my perspective." "Realize it was all a lie?" She nodded. "Most men are despicable. Nathan is even worse," she stated. I knew I shouldn't feel angry hearing her words. I knew I shouldn't still feel so devoted to him, but I did, because my heart wouldn't stop yearning for him, calling out to him. Yet, it was all pointless. There was no reason to cry over it anymore. I needed to move on. "Okay, I will sign the damn papers," I conceded.