My Ex-Boyfriend's Obsession

2.CRUSH!

LINDSEY’S POV

Men don’t look at me. Men don’t approach me. At first it was kind of difficult to take this in now that I am in University where love is the order of the day.

But eventually, I decided to accept myself. I am not as pretty as those other girls around campus. I am a thick girl always wearing baggy t-shirts and mum jeans and I guess that was a turn off for most men.

Sneakers is the type of shoes that I loved the most and I guess this also turned them away from me.

I get it, I am not good enough.

I fell in love with this eventually. I mean what is the worst that could happen? After days of crying myself to sleep since I don’t have a boyfriend yet I am eighteen years old, I decided to accept myself.

If other men hate me, then I will love myself.

I also needed a distraction, but before that, I avoided walking with other girls because they would make me feel bad for not being approached by campus boys.

Some girls got it all. They walk into a room full of boys and their presence is felt. As for me, I am none of them.

I am alone. I thought that Joining Marble University would make me happy but that was not the case. I am even sadder.

As I mentioned, I am eighteen, thus I can deal with this.

I distracted myself by starting a business. I would not only get good money, but I would also get something to do so that I cannot think about men not liking me.

I go to class every morning. I am taking Bachelor of Arts in philosophy and literature at Marble University, Kenya.

I pass by group of men every morning but no one raises their eyebrows. I am used to it, even today.

I loved sitting at the front row of the class. I made my way to the front this day, but there was no empty seat.

I ended up sitting to this guy. He was so handsome. When I saw him, my heart started beating twice its normal speed. I started sweating in my palms and I suddenly felt the urge to look good in front of him.

He had taken all my attention that I could barely concentrate on the classwork. I have never felt like this before with any man and I didn’t know what this mean.

At the end of the class, everyone left and I was left thinking about this guy. I followed him, not too closely but at a fair distance to hear him talking to his friend.

I couldn’t get what they were talking about. The stalking was not futile though because I heard his friend referring to him as Jim.

Yes! Jim was his name. Finally I knew him.

Feeling satisfied, I took myself to the hotel to have lunch before I went to open my perfume shop.

By selling, I would get distracted and not think of how people didn’t love me.

I didn’t have a lot of customers today and that rendered me distracted. I started thinking of what I felt when I saw Jim. It was a deep feeling of excitement that sent exciting tingles flowing through my body from my face to the smallest toe of my feet.

Is this crushing on someone? I had pretty read it somewhere.

I searched the word crush on google and I got to learn that, what I felt today was me having a crush on Jim.

As I scrolled down the search option, I read somewhere that, if you crush on someone, they will crush on you too.

I have never prayed for a miracle till this minute. I craved for one. I hoped that what I had read is true. It should be actually true that Jim was also crushing on me.

If that was the case, then I would be the happiest person in this planet. That would make me so happy.

For the rest of the afternoon, I thought about how it would feel to date someone. How it would feel to hold Jim’s hands as we go for dinner, how it would feel to have my very first kiss and how it would feel when he makes love to me.

All this thoughts made my heart race in my chest. I have been dying to have this and right now after all this thoughts, I wish for this to happen right away.

By the time I had fully prayed to have Jim as my man, it was already evening. I had to close my perfume shop and head to my hostel where I would do my assignment before thinking about buying supper later on.

I wore my headphones and listened to music as I headed to my room. I loved listening to music because it would entertain me and make me less aware of my environment. This also protected me from seeing men look away when I walk past them.

I walked along the main pavement going to the side of the hostel. As I was branching to go to my hostel, I saw them, Jim and two of his friends coming to my direction.

My cheeks was flushed red in an instant. I was so shy. I started at the ground and hoped that it would open for me to disappear inside. The wave of emotions flowing through my body after I saw Jim and his friends was frightening.

I slowed my steps and moved to the side of the pavement to leave space for them to pass. My eyes kept staring at the ground. I tried looking up but I couldn’t. It was involuntary.

They were laughing and this made everything ten times worse. I was so frightened to the extent that I could actually pee on myself. What are they laughing about? Are they laughing at me?

My heart was beating so hard and fast as they moved closer.

“You should tell her?” I heard one of the friends tell him.

“But I am not ready,” He shrugged.

“Come on, tell her, I will help you,” The other friend said and I couldn’t move anymore. What is there to say?

I froze as if I had been bitten by a freeze bug and waited for what is there to come.

“Hey Lindsey,” One of the friends called me and I looked up, for the first time since I had noticed their presence.

How did they know my name in the first place?

“Yes,” This left my mouth as a soft whisper.

“Jim has something to tell you,” The other friend Chimed looking at Jim. I followed suit and our eyes met.

I swear, I felt a spark.

“Lindsey, I have a crush on you,” He confessed and I was lost of words.

My heart didn’t spare me, it continued beating so loudly and I started breathing heavily as I panicked.