Beyond Repair

Chapter 13 - Max

I was already in the car when she arrived at the side of the black jeep. I much preferred the Porsche, but it was no longer an option. Not only could it not be adapted to allow me to drive in my chair like the jeep was, there was nowhere to put the damn chair either.

I bolted from the house because being under her intense gazed did way more to my body than it should have done. I saw the gleam in her eyes and I knew it well. You didn't do my job without seeing it. The look of mentally evaluating me, the appreciation of the opposite s*x. Normally it wouldn't have bothered me at all, I would have chuckled to myself and moved on, but it was her. That incredibly perky, slightly crazy girl who was plaguing my dreams.

I would have happily taken advantage of the situation if she had been anyone but her. The truth was that if I even considered acting on my feelings, then the risk of me taking that brightness from her was just too high. I wouldn't do that, I couldn't.

It might have been the thing I had hated about her in the beginning but it was growing on me. With the exception of her naivety around the other lads from the team. Making a mental note that I would need to find a way of that part of her vanishing. They would eat her alive once she started working on the club’s medical team.

"Are you getting in?"

"Yeah, sorry. I er..."

"Just get in." She did as I said, but the way she was behaving was really cute. It was killing me. I would be fine as soon as I got to the hospital. I hated that place and she would be the most hated person in the building for managing to convince me to go in the first place. I had resisted so much since the accident, but the truth was that I had actually been scared when I had woken in agony. Having had sensations since the accident but it had only ever been whispers. A touch that I thought I had felt or the shadows of pins and needles. Then all that pain out of nowhere. When I had woken, I had thought I had been back there. It didn't help that the pain had pulled me from the nightmare of Terri slipping from me.

Yet more reason to keep Clara at arm’s length. Terri might have died, but I didn't feel single. She was still everywhere, and that was how I liked it. Her wardrobe was still full. Her crap was still overtaking the bathroom. Terri dying only made me realise how much I loved her and that would never change.

Although I had to admit it was slightly ridiculous that her makeup was still spread over the counter. It drove me crazy whenever I saw it. Except, that was the point. Each time it drove me crazy it was like Terri was still there, still driving me crazy with the foundation she would leave all over the neck of my shirts. She was a nightmare for it.

"Are you nervous? It's going to be okay." I hadn't realised how long we had just been sat there while my head was filled with thoughts of Terri. I glanced towards Clara and realised she was still wearing her clothes from the night before.

The night before I had assumed she was wearing shorts under my shirt and that they were just hidden from the length, but she really wasn't. The material had risen up and far too high to enable me any form of concentration. Her hem sat just in the crease at the top of her thigh. I could even just make out the black lace that was sticking out from underneath.

I took the handbrake off and reversed out of the drive, knowing it would be a miracle if we got to the hospital in one piece. Each time I stopped at a light or to let a little old granny cross the street, I sneaked another look at the peachiness of her legs. Chastising myself for so many things.

There wasn't something that could be more wrong in life than perving on Clara. She was way too young for me for a start. I mean she was a child fan for f**k’s sake. Then there was Terri. Or the fact that she worked for me. Or that she was bright and shiny while I had already given up on life and become a moody bastard.

No. I had to keep my distance from her. Although for the most part she seemed completely unaware. Yet still as we drove, I found any excuse to stop. I had suddenly become the most considerate driver in the world.

"Seriously Max it will be alright." She placed her hand on my thigh and despite having no actual feeling, it seared my flesh. So much so that my instinct was to move away from the burning, except I couldn't. I was stuck there feeling the intensity of her.

"I'm fine." I said it through gritted teeth and I knew I wasn't doing a very good job at convincing her that I was actually okay. If she only knew the real reason for my oddness and it was nothing to do with the hospital.

"You have stopped at every opportunity. I have never seen someone stop for so many amber lights in my life." She was looking at me with those soft eyes of hers, the caring puppy-like ones. I didn't even need to look at her, I could feel them on me.

"I'll be fine once I'm there. There is a process I have, can we just leave it there?" I lied, and I was a wanker to boot. It wasn't like I wasn't aware of the tone of dismissal I used, as though she was somehow beneath me. f**k. No. I felt like my brain was going to explode. Every thought I had seemed to be corrupted within seconds. I was starting to really feel like a dirty old perv and heavy on the old.

I might have taken my time on the way to the hospital, but as soon as we got there I was in a hurry to get away from being near those legs of hers. It was a shame that it took me so long to disembark. I was more pissed off about my legs recently. It seemed to be every day I was cursing my lack of movement.

Despite my chair holding me back, I was still out the car before her and wheeling myself to the entrance of the hospital without bothering to wait for her. Not even considering whether she would think it was odd that I was desperately slow getting here then speeding off as soon as we were.

It was a private hospital so was smaller than most places, not that it mattered, I knew my way around well enough. It actually annoyed me because there was just so much glass. Not that I was against modern, my house was modern and had way too much glass too. It just seemed counter-productive given that they treated celebrities on the whole who needed privacy. Especially when they were attending clinics.

They did have very good security though. I had been hounded by the press after the accident, but very few managed to get close enough to get a picture. There was one who had slipped through the net, Allan Pollard. He was scum.

It was him who had sold pictures of the wreckage to the papers. I mean I understood that the press had a job to do but Allan went way too far. There was nothing he wouldn't do to make a few quick bucks. He was one of the reasons that I had stayed holed up at home. Anything to avoid him getting a shot of me looking pathetic and frail.

"Hello. I'm here to see Dr Gregory."

"He is expecting you Mr Matthews. He's in his office. Would you like me to take you?" I smiled nicely despite my annoyance. Her assumption that I needed to be taken care of more than a patient with two working legs annoyed me.

"No. I know my way. There will be a woman following me. Young, flustered, clueless, she might need your assistance more than me. Feel free to point her in the right direction." I didn't hang around for her to give a pitying look or worse that look that said 'way to go you for being independent'. I really couldn't win and all this trip was doing was reminding me why I avoided people. Which was why I was more than happy to get it over and done with.

I knew that Clara thought she had won a battle getting me to come, but it wasn't like that. The pain had been enough of a wakeup call for me to realise that I needed to get it checked out. Even if Clara had done a good job at reassuring me, I felt like she was hiding something. I mean it wasn't like things could get much worse than not having any use of my legs, so I wasn't sure what I was afraid of. Nevertheless, the lick of fear was there, curling around my gut and making itself at home.

The receptionist must have announced my arrival because Gerry was at the door waiting for me. "Hey Gerry, long time no see."

"Well, I do send you letters requesting you to come in for check-ups Max. So why now?" I loved Gerry. He was a zero bullshit kind of person and he wasn't afraid to give me s**t even though he was meant to suck up to me because I was a big donor to the hospital. I managed to keep it quiet that I was the major funder behind their outreach programme.

"Yeah, I won't apologise for ignoring them because we would both know I wouldn't mean it." He closed the door behind me like he always did. "You best leave that open, there with be a chaotic blonde full of questions in three... two... one." I held my hand out like I had conjured her up. I had heard the slight footsteps running down the corridor and knew it was her. "Dr Gregory, let me introduce Clara, my new babysitter."