Beyond Repair

Chapter 11 - Max

Never before that moment had I wanted my legs to work more. The desperate need to spring up and go to her and being unable, it was actually painful. The lads had all been talking to me when I saw her, and they all turned to see what I was staring at. It didn't take long for them to start reacting to the sight of her. The few older ones, the ones who had been on the team with me a long time, headed over and started introducing themselves. I could hear the respectful nature of the exchange, which was probably helped by them all being married. They were instantly crediting Clara with the sudden change in my attitude to entertaining and thanking her.

They soon retreated and headed to the sofa. Then came the younger ones. The first couple were in serious relationships and were just as respectful but not quite as thankful. Then came the wild ones. I could hear the suggestive comments and sleazy tones. It was taking everything I had to stop myself from saying something to them. Telling myself that they needed to be educated on how to treat a lady. Clara was just that. She wasn't like the girls they picked up in clubs.

I could feel my jaw twitching as I tried to keep a smile on my face, all while wanting to rip their faces off. She looked way too good in my shirt. I wanted to see her draped over me in the same way the white fabric was draped over her. Shaking my head yet again to try to dislodge the thoughts. I was the sort of man with willpower, I wouldn’t have got where I had without it, but it just wouldn't kick in when it came to her.

"Hey, Max, you scored big time, she's hot and no doubt good with her hands too."

"Steven, knock it off, now!" I said it through gritted teeth but it had no effect. The young buck didn't know me well enough to know when to back off. I was just grateful Clara couldn't hear him. Although whether it was because I thought she would be insulted or because I thought she would be happy about it was anyone’s guess.

"Seriously, cap. Can you set me up? Obviously you can't hit that, there's got to be a patient medical professional boundary there."

"I'm going to hit you in a minute. She's not a slab of meat. None of you will be going anywhere near because she will be working with the team soon then the boundary will be between you and her won't it?" I eased myself onto the sofa. It might have been easier to stay in my chair normally, but I wanted to be social for once, even if the t***s were getting on my nerves already.

I was pleased when Clara perched herself on the edge next to me. Of all the places to sit it was the smallest gap and even with her petite frame she struggled. I told myself it was because I was the only person in the room she actually knew and not because she was desperate to be closer to me. I shifted over easily enough and waited while she moved over to seat herself properly.

Her thigh was squashed up against mine and it took everything in me not to place my hand on her thigh or my arm around the back of her. Instead, it felt awkward on my own leg. I kept rubbing it down my thigh before digging my fingers in a little. Clara moved her mouth closer to me and whispered into my ear. "Don't worry so much. It's going great and you don't seem rusty at all." I almost wanted to laugh out loud when I realised she thought my fidgeting was down to nerves. No, it was instead three years of s****l frustration that had happily stayed buried until the perky vixen had walked into my living room and my life.

"I'm doing alright." She gave me a look that only women managed. Her lips slightly pursed, her gaze laser focused as she silently called me out on my bullshit. Placing her hand over mine and forcing it to still. The heat was like chemical burns and it took everything not to whip it away from her touch. How could she not feel it? How could she stand it?

The effect she had on me was monumental yet other than that first day when she had bumbled her way throughout the meeting, she seemed absolutely fine. As though there was nothing there at all, even though it was all I could focus on. I wondered for a second if it was the chair. Not all women could handle it or even see past it. Somehow, Clara seemed like the least likely woman in the world to be one of those women. She seemed to be able to see the beauty in everything and everyone.

The lads were all chatting away, but I struggled to find something I could relate to at all. "So, cap, when are you coming back?" Every single one of them turned to Steven as though they wanted to strangle him. He was the teammate who didn't think before he spoke, he was notorious for it.

"I'm sure he will come back when he's ready." Alan piped up quickly. Giving me an apologetic look.

"Actually, I was thinking about restarting my school visits for underprivileged kids. If any of you want to join me, you would be more than welcome. I'm sure my star quality will have dimmed slightly with the kids. If that goes well, I might organise some visits for them to visit the ground and watch practice or even get a bit of coaching. Only if you guys are up for it, that is?"

There was a sudden rush of voices telling me what a great idea it was and how they would love to do anything they could. Then Steven piped up again, "So we would get you back on hallowed ground then cap. Once you step foot on the grass, you will never be able to leave us again." Every face in the group lowered with Steven looking full of anguish at everyone around him. He knew he had said something, but couldn't work out what it was and no one wanted to bring more attention to it. Looking at the lot of them desperately trying not to stare at me and Stevens head whipping around like a chicken on steroids, I burst out laughing. It wasn't even a slight laugh but an earth shattering one. Slowly, one at a time, the lads settled down and saw the funny side. After all if I found it funny then they were all free to do so. "I don't get it." Steven looked even more confused, but I gave him a generous pat on the back and left him coughing on the punch he was drinking.

From that moment on, the chat flowed freely. I didn't worry about trying to find a place within the team for me to fit after all my time away and they stopped trying to be careful and walking on eggshells. It felt like I had never been away and I realised how much I had missed them.

As the night dragged on some of the young ones cried off. Before long it was just me and the older three members of my team, my brothers through and through. I could tell they had hung behind on purpose as though they needed to make the most of seeing me.

Once it was just Jake, Russell, Alan and me, the chat calmed further. It was all that bit easier like it always was with friends you had known for over a decade. With fewer eyes on me, I laid my arm across the back of the sofa behind Clara, being careful not to make contact with her at all. I spared her a look as I did it, checking she wasn't feeling awkward with the placement, but she was that sleepy she barely noticed. We all seemed to acknowledge that and lowered our voices slightly.

"Are you seriously thinking about coming back to the pitch?" Alan broached it first but I could tell they were all curious.

"Hey, I'm not signing up as the team mascot or anything, but I think it would be good to come down and get used to being there again. Steven was wrong about it being hallowed ground." I tried to give them a smile, but it didn't come across as the reassuring gesture I had meant it.

"It would be good to have you back dude. Are you considering taking the coaching job?"

"I'm not considering anything yet. Let's see how it goes." There was something on their minds, I could see it a mile off. "I thought we established that you can speak your minds around me. What's going on?"

"The boss is retiring. It’s not public knowledge yet. He's been wanting to leave for the last two years but couldn't find anyone he was happy passing the baton to so to speak. That's why he was pushing you to take the job, so you could slowly take over from him. He's given up trying to force you back, or so he had said. He's leaving in six months." Jake glanced over at Clara. She had started to snore except it wasn't a snore at all but the most delectable hum. Realising she was definitely fast asleep, and it was safe to continue but lowering his voice more. "I think she was his last ditch effort to get you to see sense."

Alan took over where Jake had left off. "I don't think it was even about you, Max. I mean some of it was, but it was about the team. You're the only person he feels he can trust it to. It's been his baby for too long, he's finding it hard to let go, but he's not well."

"Not well how?"

"Bowel cancer. He would kill us if he knew we were saying anything." Russell looked so apologetic at having to break the news. I couldn't even take it in.

"I need to er think. I wish he had told me. Maybe I wouldn't have been so stubborn about it all if he had. I thought he was doing it out of pity. Some sort of guilt over the crash. God, I wish he had said something. All this time I've been throwing my pity party and every day he came here and never said a word."

"Look it's late. We're going to go, just think about it. Do you need any help?" Alan nodded to Clara who I had barely noticed had folded over and her head landed in the crook of my arm.

"No, I'm fine. Can you lock the door on your way out though, please?"

"Sure thing. You know where we are if you want to talk." Jake placed his hand on my free shoulder affectionately as he passed.

I could barely believe what I had heard, but it made me realise how right Clara had been about my pity party. I also knew the perfect person to help pull me out of my funk and get me back on track. Not for me or even for her, but for Dickie. I owed him so much and I wouldn't let him down. I looked down at her angelic face which was tilted up to me and I couldn't bear to wake her. She looked too peaceful. If I had been able to sweep her up into my arms and carry her to my bed, then I might have.

That wasn't an option, and I wasn't ready to lose her from my arms so soon. I let my arm drop off the back of the sofa and pulled her into me slightly. Staying upright myself and leaning my head back more and trying to get comfortable. All I could think was that she was worth the discomfort.