Beyond Repair

Chapter 10 - Clara

Despite being more than a little pissed off with him, I was grateful. It was the first time anyone had tried to look out for me in a long time and I liked the feeling. I wasn't going to let him know that though and let him have the silent treatment. The only thing I said to him all the way back to the house was to let him know I had everything I needed out of my room. It was pitiful that it only filled two carrier bags. It wasn't like I planned to continue living like that. I was just waiting to get something more permanent. I travelled light and didn't have much in the way of possessions.

I just didn't see the point in buying things when I didn't have any space to store anything. So possessions along with decent housing had been put on hold. I refused to use my parents’ money, and I purposely got a room as cheap as possible so that I could last until I had steady work. In the end it had been the right decision, seeing as my new job came with accommodation.

As soon as we got back, I headed to put my things away and left him to unload the car himself, seeing as he was so independent. If he needed help, he could damn well ask. It was amusing that he was so hellbent on being independent but couldn't see why I wanted the same thing. Neither one of us wanted to feel like we were relying on other people. For me I knew what it was like to rely on someone and have them ripped away from me. I guessed it was a similar reason for him. It was hard enough losing someone you loved let alone someone you relied on too. It left an even bigger hole in your heart.

For so long I had been angry with my parents. For leaving me, for me having to be responsible for keeping myself alive. It was too much at that age. I was never allowed the space to make the same mistakes that teenagers of that age were meant to make. I had to hold myself together no matter what because there was no one waiting in the wings to come and save me. That's why I was so silly, despite being older. That early pressure had eased and left me finally able to act my age a little more. I was still mature and responsible when it counted, but when I saw an opportunity to let my hair down I did.

As soon as I was done, I headed into the kitchen and found all the things we had brought laid out on the worktop. I rolled my eyes slightly. There really wasn't much he couldn't manage for himself. I grabbed the plastic tub and started washing it out. Popping the ice and frozen lemon and lime slices in the freezer to make sure it all stayed frozen till the team got to the house. Focusing on dishing all the snacks up into bowls and placing them on the coffee table. We had brought way too much, but I didn't care. There was a niggling part of me that wanted to make sure the night went well. It was such an important step for Max.

"Hey, if you are talking to me again, you need a shirt."

"Excuse me?"

"You need a football shirt. We all wear them at these nights, so you need to wear one too."

"I wasn't planning on sticking around after they arrive, it’s a team night."

"You're doing all the work, you are staying for the fun. Have you got a shirt?"

"Nope." That was a lie, I did have one. It still fit too, but it was one of his vintage shirts with his name on the back and I really didn't want to admit to him that I owned it. It would bring up too many questions.

"Come on, then." He beckoned for me to follow him into his room and I did, but knew I was going to regret it. He came to a stop in front of one of the wardrobes. Most of the walk-in wardrobe was open, but there were a couple of sections with doors. When I had been putting his things away, I had assumed they were empty. "Take your pick." He opened the doors, and it was like I fell into heaven. If only the thirteen-year-old me could see me now. She would have a breakdown. She would be running around the room screaming at the top of her lungs. I recognised the strips. Every single one he had worn for the team over the years.

I knew it was a mistake, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity. The very first kit, the same one I owned, tucked up in my memories box that was now safely under my bed. "Unusual choice. You best go and get ready then you can help me do this stupid drink you've made me agree to." I bent down and quickly kissed him on the cheek, lingering a little too long once I had removed my lips.

"I'll do the drink first." I rushed from the room a little too like my thirteen-year-old self and slid across the hardwood in the kitchen. Carefully placing my little piece of history to one side, making sure it was well away from any risk of being splashed. Lining all the liquor bottles up together in a star shape with a bottle of whiskey in the middle and taking all the tops off. Carefully with two hands I scooped the whole lot up and watched as the contents chugged out into the tub. Afterward I opened four bottles of lemonade and stood them up in each corner so most of it could drain out while I started emptying the two l****s of orange into the centre.

Just then Max came around the corner. "Can you just dump the whole bag of ice and both the lemon and limes in? They're in the freezer."

"Yeah sure." I ran from the room again looking way too childish, but not caring at all. I wasn't sure what was more exciting getting to wear his shirt or meeting so many legends. There were still a couple of players on the team that had been there when I started watching. Although most were newer. It didn't really matter because I never stopped watching so I was familiar with them all. They might not have all been the same level of importance as Max, but they were still amazing athletes.

I jumped straight in the shower. I was so itching to get out there that I had to temper myself just to make sure I washed all the conditioner off my blonde ends. There was no way I would have time to blow dry my hair so had to settle for a towel dry and throwing my hair over to blast it with the hair dryer for a few minutes. I pulled it to one side and platted it just to make sure it wasn't all over the place. I didn't tend to wear a lot of makeup and what I did wear I was well practiced at applying.

I eyed the shirt on my bed. I was completely ready with the exception of the shirt. Having already selected a simple black lace bra and short set. There was no point in wearing shoes when I was already indoors. The last thing needed was to slide that precious material over my silky skin. I stepped towards it. Straightened it out face down on the bed. Noting that it was ridiculous for something so silly to mean so much to me.

Taking a deep breath, I slipped my arms inside and lifted it over my head. I stood and looked at it in the mirror. It was a little baggy on me and way too long, but I knew it would be. It was the whole reason I had opted for wearing it as a dress. Even if I had put shorts under it they wouldn't have been visible. The short intake of breath at the sheer idea of the history I was literally wearing was enough to knock me off my feet as the smell of him filled my nostrils. It wasn't an item he had just shoved in a wardrobe; he wore it himself. I knew he must, the scent of him was too strong for anything else. I found myself hugging it to me.

Grabbing a small belt from the side and placing it around my waist. Hoping it would be enough to keep it in place given its large size on me. Confident, I headed out to the living room. I could already hear the voices of them chatting away as I walked down the hallway. I was pretty silent walking around the corner into the living room thanks to my bare feet.

Max was the only one that noticed me enter. His eyes went wide with shock and he choked on the mouthful of cocktail he had just taken. The appreciation in his eyes made me do a double take and definitely made my cheeks brighten a few shades. I didn't think a man had ever looked at me like that before and the last man I would have expected it from would have been Max. Nevertheless, I would never get tired of him looking at me like that. I just didn't know what it meant.