The Broken

Chapter 2 FIRST MEETING

Three months later

Moving to and fro, I searched for my flash disk which contained my presentation for my class today. I had looked everywhere and turned my apartment upside down, but still, I couldn't find it. Feeling exhausted and suffering from headache, I sat down on the single grey couch chair as my eyes roamed around my apartment.

Books and lots of paper were scattered on the glass table and the black cushioned sofa while bottles of beer cluttered the floor. After making that presentation, I drank just a few bottles as I had some trouble sleeping last night and a couple of months before. And now, getting up slowly, I decided to go to Yeonghon University where I worked as an Associate Professor of English literature.

Before I reached the school, I encountered a few mishaps like my car stopping in the middle of the street for no reason and it eventually got towed, and then getting myself partly drenched when it suddenly rained. Well, my day usually began like this ever since…

A few students greeted me along the way as I made my way to the nearest comfort room. Thankfully, it was empty and I was alone. I took off my coat and examined myself in the mirror.

My dark and heavy make-up did not fade off. Still perfectly concealed were my freckles, remained to appear toned were my chubby cheeks, and completely shrouded my weariness with my brown contacts. However, there were strands of my hair that became frizzy, and it ruined my perfectly tight high ponytail I made a while ago. I applied a hair sprayer to tidy it up.

My outfit comprising of a V-neck black blouse, long black pants, and a gray blazer combined with a 6-inch black stiletto looked great and sharp. A smirk appeared on my face as my overall look exuded an intimidating but empowered aura... at least not desperate or pitiful.

When I entered our department office, I saw a group of female teachers happily chatting, and one of them was Sophie. We became classmates and roommates way back in college, and that’s how our friendship started. After graduating, we decided to work in the same school.

Indeed, I was able to find a sister I never had with Sophie, and I sincerely thought we’d be best of friends until we grew older. But, I was wrong, very wrong. Now, we’re treating each other as strangers… no, more of nonexistent. It's as if we never existed in our own world.

As I walked towards my table, I heard them congratulating Sophie on her brother’s engagement. I could have ignored them but I heard one of them say in a high-pitched tone, “Howard is really lucky.”

Pretending I did not hear it, I searched for my book with an indifferent look, but I could feel their gaze directed at me. Nonetheless, I remained unaffected until I heard Sophie’s words, “At least, Howard finally learns to have good taste.”

Even though Sophie said it in a matter-of-fact tone, it still stung. Frustrated, I grabbed my bag and went out without carrying any book. I wished I could hate her but couldn't as I ended up feeling hurt and eventually… dejected.

Before I stepped inside the classroom, I unloaded the heavy burden I was carrying in my heart and temporarily left it outside. I borrowed from a student a book and started discussing the novel Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, who was considered one of the most highly respected novelists and I also greatly admired.

Critics during her time discredited her as they thought that Frankenstein was authored by her husband, who was an established poet. And when finally proven that she was indeed the author, some still doubted her artistry as they claimed that her husband helped her a lot and even wrote some chapters. Yes, woman discrimination was prevalent before. Thankfully, such discrimination was now being condemned but continued to exist.

As our discussion continued, I could feel all those nerves that had been sleeping so soundly seemed have waken up and actively working. That seemingly made my blood rush, sending warmth to my heart that’s starting to beat in a moderately fast rhythm. I was alive and I loved it.

Teaching, indeed, was the only one exuding light in my extremely gloomy life right now. It was the only time I could feel genuinely happy, especially when we exchanged ideas or if I challenged their views, and we ended up having an intellectual argument. Yes, teaching was not simply a job but a passion.

The rest of the day passed by quickly and without any hiccups, thankfully. I decided to pass by our department’s office before going home to get some books. No person was present since they had all probably gone home.

When I reached my table, the newspaper I previously bought to cover my head from the rain caught my attention as I saw a familiar face. Before I even got a hold of it, someone knocked. My brows furrowed as students were not allowed here except for consultation every Friday, and it’s just the start of the week.

“Come in,” I eventually said.

The door opened and a man entered. He was definitely not a student, not because of his age, which I presumed in his late 30s, but his choice of clothing. He was wearing a silvery-grey suit that wasn’t buttoned up, revealing his black shirt and shiny silver striped tie. Judging from its cloth material, it was definitely expensive that any college student could not afford to buy. And I remembered Howard, for I used to choose or buy his suits.

“Did I come right in time or…?” he looked at my table where books and papers were messily piled up. “I hope I didn’t disturb you.”

I can’t remember if I set up a meeting with any parents or anyone at all. “Who are you looking for?” I asked and couldn’t help staring at his enormous forehead.

“No one in particular,” he said while grinning.

“Only teachers and staff are allowed here, so--.”

“I’m Luther Rutherford Kim,” And he extended his hands.

This man was either arrogant or stupid, could be both. “And why are you here, Mr. Kim?”

He withdrew his hands but his grin widened and then nodded his head as though my words and actions pleased or impressed him, I’m not sure except he’s really acting weird. Then, he looked at me and uttered, “President Shin was showing me around, but he had to talk to a couple of teachers. So, he just let me wander around. Then, I saw this office and decided to take a look at it.” But, his eyes were set on me the entire time he was talking.

If our University President bothered on showing him around, if he were telling the truth, then he must be a VIP. “Then, I better leave you so you can take a better look at our office.” I picked up the newspaper and started to head for the door.

“On the contrary, a company would be better.”

I turned around and faced him. “Our working hours start from seven to five.” I looked at my watch. “It’s already past five, so I don’t think I could be of service to you.”

“I could ask President Shin to pay for your overtime.”

I smiled sarcastically. “Why don’t you suggest to him to reform first the compensation system for both teachers and non-teaching personnel here. Also, if he has free time, he may want to look over the qualifications needed for promotion. He may be enlightened.” I said meaningfully.

I had already passed the needed requirements for my promotion as a full pledge professor five months ago. Until now, no action has been taken, and every time I would go to Mr. Shin's office, his secretary would always tell me that he’s looking into it and making sure everything I passed was complete. Of course, it was. What I just did not have was connection.

However, I was distracted when I noticed that the man was clearly ogling me. I grunted in disgust. So, he was one of those many men who simply thought women to be a pair of talking boobs.

“It was very meaningful talking to you, Mr. Kim.” I put emphasis on the word ‘meaningful’. “And please do extend my greetings to President Shin.”

As I was about to turn my back, he finally spoke, “And whose name will I be mentioning?”

If he thought I was scared of the idea of him reporting to Mr. Shin, then he was dead wrong. “Faith Smith”. I told him confidently. “I’m pretty sure he’s well familiar with my name.” And then I left.

I went straight to the parking lot but when I could not find my car, I suddenly remember it got towed. Thinking it would be a long walk before I could reach the gate of the school, I deeply sighed.

At least, I hadn’t encountered any people as twilight already approached. I looked around and noticed the circular field that once was a bright and sunny ground just this morning was now a gloomy and empty place. Cold air blew lightly, sending shivers to my body. As I instinctively embraced myself, I became aware of the newspaper I was clutching all this time. Even my memory was not anymore as sharp as before.

When I spotted a bench, I sat there, pulled out my cell phone, and directed its built-in flashlight to the newspaper. I finally saw clearly that familiar face-- Howard. Next to him was that rich woman named Nancy Lee. She did look like a goddess in the form of a human body. It did not bother me anyway… it did slightly, I must admit.

I didn’t have to read the entire article as the headline was already telling it all: "Moon-Lee soon-to-be-wedding solidify H&M”. That was the name of Howard’s family business. This must be how my co-teachers found out about Howard's engagement.

I focused my gaze on Howard. Deep inside, I was hoping he would look desperate or impassive at least because I knew in my heart he did not love that woman and was only forced to marry her.

However, he was flashing his genuine smile as though he was really happy. A thin needle seemed to have pricked my heart, but it was enough to shatter it into small pieces. I braced myself as the pain spread into my entire body, and I wasn’t even aware I was crumpling the sides of the newspaper as I was tightly clenching my hands. Why did it have to hurt so much?

When I already gained my composure, I stood up, threw the newspaper into the trash can nearby, and continued walking. This time, I did not go home but to a pub that was considerably far from the school. Most importantly, it wasn’t some cheap pub where you would see drunk men just grabbing a woman’s ass.

There were only two people there as it was still early. I went to the bartender’s area and ordered a beer served in a big mug. I drank it all in a single gulp.

“Having a bad day?” The bartender said.

I did not reply and simply ordered another one. I disliked small talk, especially to a stranger… a male stranger.

“Let me guess, some guy,” he said with a smile while pouring beer to a mug.

“Why don’t you just shut up and do your job,” I replied in a cold tone. Now, that was mean, I thought.

The bartender raised his two hands and uttered, “Okay, but you need to chill out, though,” and he gave my drink and talked to another customer who was seated far away from me.

Just the same, I drank it all until the mug was empty. Then, a man sat next to me and said in a deep voice, “Enjoying yourself, here?”

I massaged my temples while thinking, why won’t these men leave me alone? “None of your damn business,” I replied coldly without looking at him.

The man chuckled. “Being a professor, you’re failing miserably my expectations, Ms. Smith,” His tone was filled with amusement.

"Professor Smith," I quickly corrected the man. Then, I looked at him and he was that Mr… I forgot his name. What was he doing here? Was he stalking me? Probably not, it might just be a coincidence. "And if failing your expectations means not being a stereotyped professor, then exceeding should be the right word,” I replied coolly.

This time, he laughed loudly as his voice echoed thunderously in every corner, disturbing the quiet stillness of the pub. “Yes, Professor Smith, exceeding,” he said while grinning. Then, he came closer to me and said in his low sexy voice, “And it really turns me on, big time.”

Up close, his forehead looked more enormous and towering as all of his hair was slicked back, forming prominently that V-shaped hairline. His overly protruding cheekbones and long pointed chin looked sharper than ever. And his broad grin, exposing his unusually large protruding teeth, appeared to be intimidating. He does have a unique face, yet it seemed to be just too rough… too edgy… too overbearing.

“Enjoying the view, Professor Smith?” he uttered as he moved closer. We were mere inches apart that I could smell not only his minty breath but his masculine perfume, too.

I remained unmoved as I looked at him straight in his eyes. “No. Everything about you turns me off,” I replied in a casual tone. His playful smile instantly disappeared and a muscle twitched on his hollow cheeks as he’s clutching his jaw tightly. We were glaring at each other; no one was backing down. Finally, he retreated to his seat and I raised my head higher.

I called the attention of the bartender, who was at the far end talking to another customer, and ordered another beer. The man, who had seemingly recovered from defeat, did the same.

As the bartender poured our drinks, I heard the voice of that man, still confident but serious this time, “How about a drinking contest?” he suggested.

When I remained quiet, he continued, “Whoever quits or passes out, loses. And if I win, let’s date, but if you do, I’ll make sure that the compensation system you were complaining about will be reviewed and modified.”

He did listen, after all, and most importantly, he knew how to make a good and interesting deal out of a drinking contest. Still, why should I believe he would keep his word if he lost? “Most men are so exceptionally skilled at giving promises they could not keep. Are you one of them?” I asked.

“We’re not perfect, Prof—”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that many times. Can you be original?”

Normally, a guy would be tick off or just back down when they’re being cut off and disputed, but not this man. He’s grinning again as though he’s actually enjoying it, or maybe he considered this a game, and he’s liked being challenged. However, the moment our eyes met, the playfulness in his eyes quickly faded and turned into a deep penetrating look. “How about this, I have the means and resources to deliver the goods.”

Fair enough, I thought. Besides, it could be a good temporary diversion. So, I faced him and said, “Deal.”

The drinking contest commenced. One after another, the mug was filled and emptied so quickly that the bartender stayed with us and waited in anticipation on who would be the winner. We, on the other hand, sat in silence as we were both focused on two things: drink and not lose.

After emptying a lot of mugs, we started to drink slowly now. I could feel the temperature rising as heat seemed to radiate into my entire body, but I knew I could still drink more as I was not feeling light-headed. However, the guy next to me was already flushed, and he had already taken off both his coat and ties while two of his buttons were already left open.

Then, we drank another ten more mugs, and I started to feel a bit dizzy. I grabbed another mug but slowly sipped it until there was no left beer on it. I returned it to the bartender who was smiling and said, “You won.”

I looked at the man who challenged me. He was still seated but with his head down on the table. I wasn’t sure whether he was asleep, but the moment I heard him snore, I just knew he passed out already. I did win.

I paid the bartender for my drinks and tipped him. As I was about to go, the bartender spoke, “How about his drinks?”

“When he wakes up, he’ll pay,” I just said. When I hopped in from the chair, I lost my balance and almost tripped down.

“Are you alright? I can call you a cab if you want,” he suggested.

I didn’t answer immediately but only took off my stilettoes and carried them. I looked at the bartender and said coolly, “I got it.” I headed out, thinking I do not like people especially a male stranger helping me out as I felt I would owe them or something and I needed to pay them back.

As the cab drove me home, my mind was still alert although my body was already fatigued. Besides, I should stay awake as the worst thing could happen when a drunk woman slept in a cab driven by a man. Not being judgmental as the man seemed to be in his fifties and had a kind expression, I just would not easily trust a stranger, specifically a male stranger.

When I got home, I went straight to my bed and decided to sleep. However, the moment I closed my eyes, my mind flashed that image of Howard smiling next to his soon-to-be bride. Then, the pain followed. I shouted, “No,” as I quickly sat up.

I went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of vodka and a cocktail glass. How I wish Sophie was here, and it would be less painful. I would not feel so alone nor empty because I knew I had someone… but in reality, I did not.

I kept drinking until that shattering pain and emptiness would fade away, but it never did. When would this pain go away? Until when could I bear it all? Or could I really make it?

Tears started to swell around my eyes and I shook my head as vigorously as I could. I had cried enough. Besides, even if I cried harder, Howard would not return...not even Sophie… not my little brother… not my mother.

Slowly, I felt like falling into a bottomless pit of darkness, and I tried to resist at first but soon gave in.