You're To Blame

Sing For Me (1)

Chapter 5: Sing For Me (1)

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*(there are two initial storylines that this book follows simultaneously, this one is the second)

Manager POV:

In the recording booth, a not so smooth or polished voice sounded. “To see your light tonight---!” It was a screeching almost sounding high pitch, because the singer wanted to reach a note that was way out of her register… It wasn’t for long though, the tension in the air and the lingering sensation of failure was cut through like a knife on butter. The music was abruptly stopped and the Director’s voice was as loud as ever…

“Enough! Cut it out already! This is horrible…” His disappointment was evident in his expression and even more so at the glare he directed towards me. I instantly felt like half the man I was at that moment…

“Director, please listen a bit more, she’s very talented.” I tried to reassure him, though even when meeting his eyes I could tell he felt nothing but bitterness towards me for forcing him to listen to her in the first place.

“I don’t care how much potential you think she has! The song is rubbish when sang by her, her vocals are far from even being called decent.” As usual I cut off the microphone to the recording booth so that my talent wouldn’t be able to hear all this horrible things said about her.

“She has such a pretty face-” I tried to show her good qualities.

“Then get her a modeling job and out of my studio!” The Director more infuriated than ever yelled at me and I tried to hold onto him.

“Please just-” I was like a desperate puppy clinging to it’s owner… only I actually felt the sense of shame that the dog wouldn’t.

“Music is supposed to move the soul… and this woman has so little character she probably can’t even move her own parents emotionally.” The Director continued his load of nonsense and I glanced over at the recording booth to confirm that Syndra wasn’t listening to any of it.

Then I turned back at the Director. “No need to be rude! Not that I understood what the hell that was supposed to mean, but I can assure you if not her I can definitely find you a good talent soon.” I tried to reassure him, although I wasn’t really sure where I’d find someone on such short notice.

“You better or you’re fired. You worked her for ten years and you managed to produce a single star.” The Director reminded me, that single star was both the greatest achievement of my life and the biggest disappointment…

“Yes but she’s not a nationally known actress and singer so-” I tried to remind him but he then interjected to remind me of something I didn’t wish to recall…

“But to which agency is she sighed to now, then?” The Director got close to my face while saying that as if to rub it in my face…

“I’m… sorry for bringing it up… sir…” I apologized, but I was angry… Constantly I am reminded of Jeaneane… the star I used to work with, the talent I made into an international celebrity for the short span of two years…. And the talent that betrayed me to go work for another agency when we were having a hard time…

“Hurry up and find me someone that works!” The Director yelled out lastly as he shut the door after him and stormed off.

I sighed heavily, falling down to my knees dramatically as if I was in a movie, only this was my life instead…

“Was I that bad?!” Syndra came running towards me, whether she heard any of it or not she surely saw the Director’s expression on his face while listening to her.

I turned to her and lowered my head while still kneeling on the ground. “I’m really sorry… I don’t know what to do, I promise to find you other work if you don’t quit.” I said while looking up at the young woman, she smiled bitterly at me.

“It’s fine manager… I’m just not cut out for this… I’m so sorry…” Syndra apologized to me instead and I couldn’t help but feel like a complete failure at that moment.

I stood up quickly. “No, you should never give up on your dreams, alright? You worked hard to get here, we will get you were you need to be in due time.” I reassured her, she was one of the talents that did what she needed to, she studied hard and tried her best. I know she doesn’t have it naturally but this business is such that you can learn what you need to succeed and I won’t let her give in.

“Manager… I’m sorry for disappointing you.” Syndra apologized once more and the pain in my chest grew stronger. Seeing her so saddened by my own incompetence reminded me of my daughter back at home and the many times I couldn’t afford the things she wanted for her birthdays…

I hate this feeling more than anything.

“You haven’t disappointed me, in fact I’m proud to call you my talent... it’s just that you’re not what the Director is looking for right now and that’s fine… We’ll find you another role to play.” I told her once more.

“Okay… again, I will try harder I promise.” Syndra was a good kid, one that understood those around her, she’s only 20 but she’s had her fair shares of failures already and I hate the fact that most of them involve me as well as her manager.

“You always do, I’ve never doubted you for a second. You’re the hardest worker there is!” I praised her openly. So what if her voice wasn’t the best and her acting was subpar? She can learn, there is still time.

“But what now? Didn’t he say he’d fire you? I don’t want to see you get fired!” Syndra suddenly began panicking, I guess she had heard the very last words the Director said to me after all.

“Um… We’ll just have to go out and search for someone else then… a talent… we could go recruiting on main street? It’s festival season now so there are plenty of street musicians and pretty people walking around… I hope… we can find someone suitable there.” I told her while placing my hands on my hips as if I was a superhero.

“Let’s go!” Syndra seemed enthusiastic.

We headed out to main street, it was bustling with people as always it was late in autumn so the weather wasn’t perfect and we were out for a while already…

Many people walked by but not much of them were interested in a talent agency, or actually none of them were interested.

“It’s really cold outside, you don’t need to stay with me here…” I told her while looking at Syndra, her cheeks had gotten redder than before.

“I’m fine, I want to help out… after all it’s my fault we’re in this mess, all because I’m scared of people…” Syndra remarked… she had a certain fear of being watched while she acted. That’s why I called her acting subpar because she stumbles over her words if there are too many people around her… but when it’s only a few she’s incredible…

Like the time she interviewed for the company, the three people in the room with her, plus me included… we were all in awe of her incredible acting skills…

Its too bad the world cannot see her skills yet… but I’m sure that someday she will overcome that fear…

“Your fear isn’t something to be ashamed off, you will overcome it one day, I know it. And besides you’re making so much progress now and-” I reassured her openly until I noticed her hunched over.

“I’m sorry…” Syndra apologized through tears. She was breathing heavily already.

“A panic attack?!” I remarked, she must have been holding back all this time. I shouldn’t have brought her near so many people… I’m so stupid…

“I just need to go inside for a bit…” Syndra reassured me and I helped her up. “The bathrooms, go in…” I followed after her and inside there was a single person already there.

“Hey, this is the women’s bathroom, you know?” The woman clearly unhappy to see me there, but I couldn’t really do anything as I was holding up Syndra with the last of my strength and my lower back at risk/

“I’m very sorry but she’s having a panic attack, could you please stay with her for a bit, I will leave now and wait outside please… she’s unwell.” I begged this stranger.

“Go out.” The woman repeated herself and I followed obediently. From outside I listened in to what was happening out of worry.

“Hey you there…” The woman called out to Syndra and she stayed prowled down on the ground unable to look up even.

“Don’t hide from me, look at me… hold this and breathe in deep breaths…” She handed something to Syndra, I didn’t quite see what it was but she held it in the palms of her hands tightly.

“……gh…” Syndra began doing as she was told but having a hard time.

“Deep breaths… good…” The woman knelt down and petted Syndra’s head, repeating that phrase.

“I… gh…!” Syndra began coughing, her unstable breathing noticeable.

“Coughing is fine, clear your throat… focus on breathing…” Her voice was so calming at that moment, nothing like the strong way she shouted at me to leave the bathroom. It was a beautiful voice.

Suddenly she began humming to herself and in a quiet voice, she was singing a childlike tune. “…when the ocean’s rise… their hearts sink to the bottomless pit in their~”

“A song?” I was surprised to say the least, this young woman sang so beautifully and so effortlessly… in the dirty bathroom floors, she was…

“…and when we finally see each other again…~ surely we will be… free…” That song wasn’t one I was familiar with, but it seemed to be calming down Syndra considerably.

“YOU CAN SING?!” At some point I couldn’t hold back and burst into the bathroom asking her straight on.

“Get out of the woman’s bathroom, right now!” She threw her shoe at me and I dodged it.

“NO, no hear me out here!” I picked it up and gave it back to her. She didn’t look too impressed and had a constant glare in her eyes one that wouldn’t give up anytime soon… but I needed to speak to her…