Hallows: The Golden Viper

I've Never Felt More Alive

Zeds Dead ft. Memorecks- Collapse

B.B.

When I open my eyes, immediately, I know where I am. The basement. There's a cold sensation going up my arm and it stings. I reach for it feeling a sharp ache. My fingers touch the tape and I rip it off needing to get this the hell off of me.

"B.B.," I hear my dad's voice.

"Why do I feel like this?" I ask as the feeling in my body finally registers. I feel cold. So, f*****g cold it burns but that's not all. I feel empty. I'm hungry and they're all gone.

"B.B. calm down," hands reach for me but everything in me is starting to panic.

"Dad? What's happening? Where did they go?" the more I move the faster my breathing comes.

"Hey, hey," he puts his hands on my shoulder. "You're okay. They're fine. I had to help trigger your healing process. I used the serum and it cleared everything in your system," he pushes me back. Images of a little boy crying flood through my head and I try to relax my body. "That's it, Pinky. Relax,"

"I don't want to be in here anymore. I can see you crying," I press my hands to my face trying to drown out David's memories.

"Okay, I didn't think you'd wake up this fast. I'll take you to your room," he pulls me up into his arms. My vision starts to clear out as he carries me out. The house is dark. Which is strange.

"Where are they?" I ask.

"Outside," he answers. "The bullets the wolves used poisoned your blood and your body was trying to expel the poison. It wasn't safe for anyone to be around you for a bit,"

I don't say anything because I can feel it. The soreness that comes with me overusing the decay ability I get from Remy. He sets me down on my bed and I sit up to see I'm wearing one of Lucien's shirts. I felt sticky. I lift it to find that the wounds I opened up to get the bullet out are gone. My dad sits across from me placing his hand on my head.

"Can I get cleaned up?" I ask.

"Pinky, you were almost killed," he says. "Everyone is losing their minds,"

"Okay," I nod.

"Okay?"

"What do you want me to say, Dad? I feel sticky and I'm hungry," I shrug.

"I'll tell the others you're up and that it's safe," he sighs.

"Dad?" I stop him. He looks back at me worriedly and I smile. "I almost died,"

"Why are you smiling?" he shakes his head.

"I don't know. I don't think I've ever felt more alive," I admit. He sighs coming back over to me. He pulls me into his arms and holds me tightly.

"Don't do it again, baby. It doesn't feel good to those around us. I get it. I know exactly what you're feeling but you can't go chasing it. I didn't give up my life for you to be scaring me like this," he pulls away and looks down at me. "Please, I'm asking you as your father,"

"I promise," I nod. "Don't tell them,"

"Of course, not. This s**t will always remain between you and me. They don't need to know," he caresses my cheeks gently.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Not long. It's just starting to get dark out,"

"Okay," I nod and scoot to the edge of the bed.

The hot shower did nothing to help the freezing feeling inside of me. The bruising on my neck is gone but it's not the only thing missing. The tattoo on my left arm. My hair is back to its normal color. My skin looks flawless. My hair is a lot longer. It's passed my butt and my bangs are down to my chest. I drop the towel to find that I've been completely restored. There's nothing human about me. I see that now. Not that it wasn't clear before. I just never had to look at things from this perspective.

I get dressed for the night. Black skinny jeans, a plain black t-shirt, my favorite Timberland boots, my holster, and I pull my hair back in a high ponytail. I take a leather jacket off the hanger. My jewelry is sitting on my vanity and I put it back on. I slip my glasses on and I make my way downstairs. Everyone is waiting for me in the library.

"You're not going out," Ahsan growls at me. He marches right up to me and points at the white screen in front of the fireplace. The surveillance footage from Dec's house is playing. "You just f*****g stood there, Belladonna!" he shouts. "Why the f**k did you just stand there?"

"Eve bit me," I answer. "She bit me because I didn't let Dec kill Goodwill. Even if I wanted to run or move out of the way. I wouldn't have been able to,"

"Why the f**k were you out in the open if you had gotten bitten, mamita? What the hell is wrong with you?" Victor adds.

I pull out of Ahsan's grip and press the button on my cuff. My lab opens up and I go for my not Lightsabers. I slide it into place and strap it to my back.

"I need a location on Queen Mother," I say as I walk out to get to the guns at my desk.

"You almost died, Baby. You're-" Lucien starts and then stops when I turn around to face him.

"I can do this with your help or I can do it alone. The choice is up to you but I'm losing time. The more we wait the more I risk losing her,"

"I'll find her," Stacy stands up.

"What about Goodwill?" Carson asks putting his hand up to stop her.

"This is for him. I want a location on Queen Mother, Nina Goodwill, and Omar Goodwill. If you can get your hands on Goodwill do it. I'd like for him to watch,"

"B.B., listen to what-"

"Delilah," I growl. "Enough. I'm f*****g done playing your game," the lights flicker as Remy appears in front of me with a smile on her face. I look up at her as holds out her hand. "What the f**k do you want?"

"You're angry," she holds out the gun Ro's father gave us.

"I am," I take it and tuck it into my holster. She comes up to me wrapping her hands around my throat.

"Show me," she bows. The lights flicker again and she disappears.

"B.B., you're talking about taking out a seventeen-"

"I'm a seventeen-year-old girl," I shout cutting her off again. "I'm sorry. I'm a seventeen-year-old monster. That's why everyone wants me dead, isn't it? I want Goodwill alive,"

"They're in his house," Ro says. "All of them. They're packing their s**t up,"

"Who's coming with me?" I look up at my sister. The others all stand up.

"B.B. I'm trying to help you," she shakes her head.

"You're really going to stand there after what happened?" I ask her. "He had me shot, Del. I can still feel those things inside of me,"

"We can't just take out the Goodwills. It'll start a war," she shakes her head.

"He shot her, Dill," Carson says from behind me. "The war is here whether we want it or not. These are your rules. Maybe it's best if you stay here,"

"You're sidelining me?" she asks him.

"Are you going to cooperate or are you going to f*****g stand in the way again?" he asks her angrily.

"This is how it's going to work then? When you don't like what I'm doing you're going to run to her?"

"You're not making any decisions, Delilah!" he snaps. "You're not making any f*****g sense. You keep saying we have to keep her alive but I don't see you making any effort to ensure her safety. Since you've gotten back, s**t has only gotten worse, and all you want to f*****g do is wait. She almost f*****g died! Dec killed eighteen civilians today!

"An example needs to be f*****g made right f*****g now and if you're not the one making it, back the f**k up and let someone who is willing do it. I can't make a move without you or without her," he points at me. "I'm not in charge. You make sure of that. I am not going to fight you for dominance. I know how strong you are even if you have forgotten. So get in line or f**k off. Get the f**k out of the way, Del,"

My hand snaps out when she reaches for him. Her eyes shoot to mine.

"I need you," I whisper. "I don't need therapy Del right now. I need you,"

"B.B. you're f*****g dangerous," she shakes her head. "I'm trying to keep you centered. I don't want you to be like us. They all win if you give in the way you're about to. They f*****g will, B. You become the monster they say you are. You stop being B.B. You'll be Mercy and I don't want a f*****g killer sister. I want this to stop,"

"Del, it's not going to stop. It's not going to stop unless we stop it. Do you think I want to do this? I have to. If I'm going to have a future. If any one of us is going to have a future. We need to make it stop and we're going to start here. This is our city," let her go. "I just want to be able to go outside without being watched. I want to go hang out with Tecia and Diana and Damian. I want to get the f**k out of this house. I don't want to be scared anymore.

"So if I have to become the monster they think I am, that's what I'm going to do. Maybe then they'll see that I just want them to stop bothering me. I want them to stop bothering us. I have to kill anyway. Why not do it for this? Why do it because it benefits all of us?

"You lost your sister the moment you hung yourself without telling us why. You're here but I've never missed you more. I catch little glimpses of who you used to be but you're not her any more than the B.B. you left here. Thank you for trying to save me from myself, but you know that this is inevitable. We can do this together, Del. We start over. There's no going back,"

Gold tears slip down her face and I step back. She tries to wipe them away quickly but it's too late. I look over at my parents feeling the ache clench tightly in my chest.

"B.B.," Dad reaches for me and I pull away.

"You're not her," I choke out. Her eyes come up to mine. "You're like them," I swallow the knot in my throat. "I don't understand. I did everything the way you asked,"

"What is happening?" Lucien asks.

"You were supposed to come back." I grab her arm.

"B.B. I-"

"No, you were supposed to come back," I shake my head.

"I would have if I hadn't gone into purgatory," she wipes the gold tears from her face. "f**k, I didn't want you to find out this way,"

"So, you were just going to lie to me for the rest of my life?"

"Yeah," she nods.

"Get the f**k away from me, Delilah," I shove her.

"B.B. stop," she reaches for me.

"What is happening?" Carson demands.

"She's not Delilah. She's a f*****g demon in a meat suit. In Delilah's body," I shout.

"I am Delilah," she shouts. "I am Delilah f*****g Blackstone,"

"No, you're not. Delilah Blackstone is f*****g dead," I scream. "I've been trying to figure out what I did wrong since you came back. I thought I missed something. You've been lying to me this whole time. To all of us,"

"B.B. let me explain," she reaches for me again.

"I don't want you to," I slap her hand away. "f**k you. Delilah wouldn't have done this. My sister would have every gun in this house loaded before I even woke up. You're not her. You're a f*****g liar. Whoever the f**k you are. You're not Delilah Blackstone,"

I turn away and head for the front door. I stop and wipe my tears away. I take a couple of deep breaths to calm myself.

"B.B.?" Lucien is standing behind me.

"I have to get to Queen Mother before they get her out of Hellbourne. We can use Goodwill to find Belecov. Someone get a tracker so we can tag him. We're going to do things my way. This is the only option we have left," I can't think of anything else right now.

"Then let's make a plan, baby. We can't just go out there like this. The wolves are organized. Ro, Vic, and Lucien have their packhouse surrounded. They're not going anywhere. Let's do this together. You and me," Carson takes my hand and pulls me away from the door. I look up at him. "World Domination,"

"It's just the Eastside,"

"Right, but we'll get there," he smirks. "We'll start here,"

I let him lead me back to the library. Dylan and Marcos pull one of the study tables to the center of the room behind the couch and place a scroll on it. Natalie helps him open it up. The ashtray with the scorpion and a glass skull is used to hold it open.

"This is Goodwill's personal territory," Ro says. He pulls a red marker out of his pocket. He draws a square in the middle of the map. "This is the packhouse. Here are all the entryways," he marks them and then draws a huge circle around the whole thing. That is a huge property. "They have a gate guarded by betas," he shuts his eyes. When he opens them again he makes three marks around them. "These are the exits,"

"Dylan, Marc, Nat you guys take the gate," I nod.

"Yes," the three of them agree.

"Stacy, Vic, you take the main entrance. Lucien, Ro you take the back," I add.

"What about us?" Carson asks.

"This is your thing. You're proving the point. The three of you," I look over at Ahsan and Dec. "I don't want to run the city. I just want to make it ours. I just want to make it safe. Everything else is still yours,"

"Okay," he nods.

"B.B.," Dad calls out my name. I turn back to look at him.

"Yes, Dad?" I clear my throat. He opens his mouth but nothing comes out of it. "We'll talk when we get back. It's starting to get dark. If they leave their compound. It'll be a wild goose chase. I'd lose her. This takes priority right now,"

"B.B. demon or not, she's your sister," Mom steps forward.

"Yeah, so it doesn't matter if we talk now or later. She's still going to be a f*****g demon when I get back. You all are. I'm alive and I'd like to keep it that way. I can do something about this. I can't do anything about all of you," I look over at David and I remember what I said to Chance.

"Whoever gets to him first," Carson hands San and Dec the tracker guns. "They're wolves and witches. We hold nothing back. Brace yourselves. Feeding from the supernatural isn't like feeding from humans.

"Their essence is ten times stronger and their teeth can tear into our skin. The venom or infection in their spit burns. Avoid their claws. If they go deep enough, the wounds take for f*****g ever to heal. Especially an alpha's scratch,"

"Weak spots are in their throats and their chest cavity is kind of soft in their half form," Lucien adds.

"Half form?" I ask.

"When they shift but they don't shift completely. Just enough for claws and fangs," he explains. "Full shifts. Do not let one of those fuckers latch on because they won't let go. They're pretty easy to take apart but they're hella fast. Catching one isn't easy. Don't even try it,"

"There are thirty-two of them," Delilah says from behind me. "Only eight stay in the packhouse with the Goodwills for security,"

"How many should we expect to be present?" I ask.

"The females are with Tee. All of them. None of them like Queen Mother. With Goodwill, there are only twelve males,"

"Can you call her? Tell her to call back the females and her brothers or is that too much to ask?"

"B.B. it doesn't change anything. I'm still me. I still want to protect you. I made a deal with Chance,"

"You lied to me," I turn around to face her. "How do you expect me to believe you? I know James is who he says he is because of who he is. That isn't his body. I can get him a new one and he will still be James. You-" I growl. "You don't act like my sister. You told me all these stories but it feels more like you're trying to convince yourself that this is who you are. I don't know you.

"And maybe you are Delilah. How am I supposed to know that? You're in my sister's body. You have her memories the same way James has the memories of the body he's in. I can ask you anything and you will f*****g believe in what you're saying because you have her memories,"

"I wouldn't have Mun," she steps back.

"I can't deal with this right now. I can't deal with your s**t and mine. Even if you're not my sister. You're safe here or you can come with us. Just make up your mind," I shrug. Carson offers her a tracking gun. She looks down at it and then at me. She takes it.

"Let's take the Hummers," she nods.

We all clear out and head for the garage. The guys all get into one car and I get into the passenger seat with them. Dec is the one driving. He looks over at me with the guiltiest look I've ever seen in my life. I look away. One problem at a time. I turn the radio on. Collapse by Zeds Dead is playing. Chills break out all over my skin.

From the start, I kind of always thought the rage and itch to be moving around always came from the guys. The devils in particular. It's a desperate f*****g feeling when their essence is entangled with my own. But it's just me now. This anger and pain is just mine and it's stronger than I've ever felt before. It's so strong I feel like I'm suffocating. Each breath I take threatens to make my body tremble.

"She's really f*****g dead," I whisper. No one says a word. I rub my hands together trying to hold it all back. "She's been steering us away from everything. Why?"

"What do you mean?" Lucien asks.

"Do you believe her? Do believe that's Delilah?" I ask.

"Who else would she be?" Carson asks.

"They can move souls, demons, and hallows around. What if they have Del and it's someone else in her body?"

"f**k," Carson's voice is low.

"I didn't think of that," Lucien says.

"None of us did. We were just so happy to have her back that we didn't question it," I close my eyes. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't think I can hurt her," Carson answers.

"Me either," Lucien agrees.

"If that thing isn't my sister, I'm going to have to get rid of her,"